The Orange Prolapse endorsed Eli Crane in Arizona's 2nd District. And it worked. Crane emerged victorious from a crowded Republican primary. He'll face off against incumbent Tom O'Halleran (D) in the general.
Crane's best known for his appearance on Shark Tank. He was hocking these "militaristic bottle openers" and ended up getting a deal with Mark Cuban and Mr. Wonderful.
Personally speaking, I use a lighter. It's all about the suction.
Fucking You Is Eli Crane
sonofsaf
Ivanka’s whoring
There is no doubt
Her pussy’s aching
It wants a crowd
A coup’s occurring
The Trumpers begin
His dick’s not long
But he’ll stick it in
Donald wants money
Morals to sell
So lick his sphincter
Orange Prolapse well
It’s gay and fun
And part of the show
Trump will deceive
Has a job to blow
Shark Tank scam, fucking you is Eli Crane
Shark Tank scam, fucking you is Eli Crane
His penis is yearning
Three strikes you’re out
A liar is cuming
Proud Boys are proud
Donald he rages
Does not drink booze
So full of bullshit
And he’s gonna lose
Asshole’s appalling
A job to blow
Trump still wants money
And doncha know
He's taking a shit
A Big Mac for din
From the extreme right
Trump wants to be king
Shark Tank scam
Fucking you is Eli Crane (Are you ready, baby?)
Shark Tank scam
Fucking you is Eli Crane
Shark Tank scam
Fucking you is Eli Crane (Come on, come on, baby)
Shark Tank scam
Fucking you is Eli Crane
Fucking you is Eli Crane
Ivanka’s whoring
There is no doubt
Her pussy’s aching
It wants a crowd
A coup’s occurring
Donald wants to win
His dick’s not long
Fuck your next of kin
Asshole’s appalling
A job to blow
Trump still wants money
And doncha know
He's taking a shit
A Big Mac for din
From the extreme right
Trump wants to be king
Shark Tank scam
Fucking you is Eli Crane (Are you ready, baby?)
Shark Tank scam
Fucking you is Eli Crane
Shark Tank scam
Fucking you is Eli Crane (Come on, come on, come on, come on)
Shark Tank scam
Fucking you is Eli Crane
Rock You Like A Hurricane
Scorpions
It's early morning
The sun comes out
Last night was shaking
And pretty loud
My cat is purring
It scratches my skin
So what is wrong
With another sin?
The bitch is hungry
She needs to tell
So give her inches
And feed her well
More days to come
New places to go
I've got to leave
It's time for a show
Here I am, rock you like a hurricane
Here I am, rock you like a hurricane
My body is burning
It starts to shout
Desire is coming
It breaks out loud
Lust is in cages
Till storm breaks loose
Just have to make it
With someone I choose
The night is calling
I have to go
The wolf is hungry
He runs the show
He's licking his lips
He's ready to win
On the hunt tonight
For love at first sting
Here I am
Rock you like a hurricane (Are you ready, baby?)
Here I am
Rock you like a hurricane
Here I am
Rock you like a hurricane (Come on, come on, baby)
Here I am
Rock you like a hurricane
Rock you like a hurricane
It's early morning
The sun comes out
Last night was shaking
And pretty loud
My cat is purring
It scratches my skin
So what is wrong
With another sin?
The night is calling
I have to go
The wolf is hungry
He runs the show
He's licking his lips
He's ready to win
On the hunt tonight
For love at first sting
Here I am
Rock you like a hurricane (Are you ready, baby?)
Here I am
Rock you like a hurricane
Here I am
Rock you like a hurricane (Come on, come on, come on, come on)
Here I am
Rock you like a hurricane
Never cared much for this song. Overplayed.
I have fond memories of the World Wide Live cassette tape. Though I never understood the chromium dioxide angle. Seemed to give it a deeper, more muffled sound.
Scorpions:
9-21-88, Hara Arena, Dayton, OH (w/ Kingdom Come)
6-15-88, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA (Monsters of Rock)
6-23-88, Rubber Bowl, Akron, OH (Monsters of Rock)
The Big Lie 100: (#572)
#1301. Wittman (Roxanne --- The Police)
#1302. Doctor Oz Is Gay (Watch The Children Pray --- Metal Church)
#1303. Abortion (Black Hole Sun --- Soundgarden)
#1304. Abortion (Distortion --- Overkill)#1305. Alito's World (Torpedo Girl --- Kiss)
#1306. Trump's My Enemy (Flesh For Fantasy --- Billy Idol)
#1307. Kushner Is A Jew (Breaking Us In Two --- Joe Jackson)
#1308. Wittman (Hitman --- Metal Church)
#1309. Red Alito (Red Mosquito --- Pearl Jam)
#1310. The Farts Of Thomas Cole (The Heart Of Rock and Roll --- Huey Lewis & The News)
#1311. Even Joe Gruters (Even The Losers --- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)
#1312. Joe Gruters Screw (Computer Blue --- Prince)
#1313. Meadows (Meadows --- Joe Walsh)
#1314. McCarthy's Got No Soul (You Can't Stop Rock'n'Roll --- Twisted Sister)
#1315. Thomas Cole (Heart & Soul --- Huey Lewis & The News)
#1316. Mark Meadows (Domino --- Van Morrison)
#1317. Thomas Cole Has No Regrets (Rock'n'Roll Never Forgets --- Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band)
#1318. Meadows Really Blows (Steady As She Goes --- The Raconteurs)
#1319. Kristi Noem's, Cunt Explodes (Take Me Home, Country Roads --- John Denver)
#1320. Kristina Blackout (The Sun Will Come Out --- Annie)
#1321. The Trumpers (The Numbers --- Radiohead)
#1322. Hern's A Bitch (Burn The Witch --- Queens Of The Stone Age)
#1323. Noem's An Ass (Home At Last --- Steely Dan)
#1324. Huckabee (Faithfully --- Journey)
#1325. Herschel Walker (I'm A Rocker --- Judas Priest)
#1326. Hern's The Fuck To Blame (Burning Like A Flame --- Dokken)
#1328. Donald Trump's A Piece Of Shit (I'm A Little Rocket Ship --- Cracker)
#1329. Kelley Rat (Smelly Cat --- Phoebe Buffay)
#1330. He's Mark Green (I'm Eighteen --- Alice Cooper)
#1331. Nunn Is So Gay (One Of These Days --- Pink Floyd)
#1332. Nunn (One --- Three Dog Night)
#1333. Donald Trump Is Fucking Gay (Living In The U.S.A. --- Steve Miller)
#1334. Nunn (One --- Metallica)
#1335. Cline (Time --- Alan Parsons Project)
#1336. Hal Rogers, Fat Fuck (Like Father, Like Son --- Exodus)
#1337. Huckabee (Suddenly --- Bee Gees)
#1338. Face Mullin (Space Truckin' --- Deep Purple)
#1339. He's Jim Pillen (You Be Illin' --- Run DMC)
#1340. Steve Bannon (Rhiannon --- Fleetwood Mac)
#1341. Janae Is A Shamp (Lady Is A Tramp --- Tony Bennett)
#1342. Scott Perry Will Fuck You (The Very Thought Of You --- Rod Stewart)
#1343. Scantlebury Suicide (Mandatory Suicide --- Slayer)
#1344. Yost Is Toast (Coast to Coast --- Scorpions)
#1345. Masters (Bastard --- Motley Crue)
#1346. Mark Lamb (Burndt Jamb --- Weezer)
#1347. Ivanka! (Ah! Leah! --- Donnie Iris)
#1348. Herschel's Pain (Purple Rain --- Prince)
#1349. You God Damn Jew (Suite Madame Blue --- Styx)
#1350. Lake Will Not Deliver (Take Me To The River --- Grateful Dead)
#1351. Lake's A Fucking Cunt (Take It On The Run --- REO Speedwagon)
#1352. Jew (You --- Radiohead)
#1353. Hair Hair (There There --- Radiohead)
#1354. Trump Is King Critical Race (Everything In Its Right Place --- Radiohead)
#1355. Russell Fry (High & Dry --- Radiohead)
#1356. Lindell (That Smell --- Lynyrd Skynyrd)
#1357. Scantlebury (Morning Glory --- Oasis)
#1358. Daniel Cox (Cleveland Rocks --- Presidents Of The United States Of America)
#1359. Cornyn Has Lied (Thorn In My Pride --- Black Crowes)
#1360. Blake Will Fuck You (Take Me With U --- Prince)
#1361. Tim Walberg (Jitterbug --- Charlie Daniels Band)
#1362. Donald Trump's A Fucking Whore (25 or 6 to 4 --- Chicago)
#1363. Mike Lindell (Rebel Yell --- Billy Idol)
#1364. Dan Cox Wants Anal (She Talks To Angels --- Black Crowes)
#1365. DeWine (Outshined --- Soundgarden)
#1366. Lotter (Daughter --- Pearl Jam)
#1367. Fry Is A Whore (Die By The Sword --- Slayer)
#1368. Meet Mike DeWine (Sweet Child 'O Mine --- Guns'n'Roses)
#1369. Gaetz Is A Freak (Eight Days A Week --- The Beatles)
#1370. Tudor (Shooter --- Waylon Jennings)
#1371. Donahue (Black and Blue --- Van Halen)
#1372. He's Eli Crane (I Can't Explain --- The Who)
#1373. Crane (Rain --- The Beatles)
#1380. Rusty Bowers (April Showers --- King's X)
#1381. Lake's An Ass (Take It Back --- Pink Floyd)
#1382. Schmitt Show (Sit There --- Crumbsuckers)
#1383. Diehl Is Gay (Steal Away --- Robbie Dupree)
#1384. Richard Mack's Whiter (Paperback Writer --- The Beatles)
#1385. Geoff Diehl (Bone Meal --- GWAR)
#1386. Diehl Is Gay (Steal Away --- Ozzy Osbourne)
#1387. Adam Steen (Dancing Queen --- ABBA)
#1388. David Farnsworth (For What It's Worth --- Buffalo Springfield)
#1389. Finchum Is Scum (Kingdom Of Come --- Soundgarden)
#1390. Ted Cruz Is A Clown (Bad News Comes To Town --- Neil Young)
#1391. Emmer Bites (Tremor Christ --- Pearl Jam)
#1392. R. Kleefisch Is A Retard (When You Wish Upon A Star --- Olivia Newton-John)
#1393. Trump's A Clown (All Right Now --- Free)
#1394. Levy (Easy --- The Commodores)
#1395. Chuck Gray (Birthday --- The Beatles)
#1396. Fucking You Is Eli Crane (Rock You Like A Hurricane --- Scorpions)
Please do not share this material with Eli Crane and/or former President Donald J. Trump.
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