Saturday, November 26, 2022

#1565. He'll Buy Crudite

That feeling you get when you've written nearly 30 parodies about Mehmet Oz and his beloved crudite....

 



Perhaps I'm the one who is a bully.


The best moment regarding Oz's political concession?  It's when the Orange Prolapse blamed his endorsement of Mehmet on another foreigner.  

The Radisson Hotel's synthetic grass clumps across from PNC Park never disappoint.

 

In this particular case, his Euro-trash wife.  @MelaniaTrump #BeBest



He’ll Buy Crudite
sonofsaf

[Chorus:]
He’ll buy crudite, he’ll buy crudite
Such a Republican infestation, Doctor Oz will buy crudite

Whoah the coup d’etat plan, of an Orange Prolapse clown
Sent into action was Steve Bannon like a syndrome down
Stormy D. a kiss, her tits appear
Her blood’s for you hymen deflowering, perhaps she would think that Trump’s a queer

[Chorus]

Trump is subhuman, (he) is causing strife
Ain’t no longer on Forbes been misplaced by his daughter-wife
Melania stays despite the pain
Donald J. is gay in love with Proud Boys instead
And Stormy’s G-string’s so very thin

[Chorus]

Donald is a bothersome stupid cunt
Was wrong to commit acts of treason merely just for fun
A stable genius with a great brain
He shits a pile that is heaping
The Orange Prolapse clown is the bozo they defend

[Chorus]

Whoah Trump always blows, the fake news can
His honor’s totally assailable has an anal plan
The stormy blow jobs, are here to stay
Conceive of a different kinda way, when the doctor won’t buy crudite

[Chorus 2x]

 

Slip Slidin' Away
Simon & Garfunkel

[Chorus:]
Slip sliding away, slip sliding away
You know the nearer your destination, the more you slip sliding away

Whoah and I know a man, he came from my hometown
He wore his passion for his woman like a thorny crown
He said Dolores, I live in fear
My love for you's so overpowering, I'm afraid that I will disappear

[Chorus]

I know a woman, (who) became a wife
These are the very words she uses to describe her life
She said a good day ain't got no rain
She said a bad day is when I lie in the bed
And I think of things that might have been

[Chorus]

And I know a father who had a son
He longed to tell him all the reasons for the things he'd done
He came a long way just to explain
He kissed his boy as he lay sleeping
Then he turned around and he headed home again

[Chorus]

Whoah God only knows, God makes his plan
The information's unavailable to the mortal man
We're workin' our jobs, collect our pay
Believe we're gliding down the highway, when in fact we're slip sliding away

[Chorus 2x]



Difficult parody.  Flowing, conversational are always a challenge.

From 1965 to 2018, Paul Simon has played the Burgh a grand total of 8 times.

Paul Simon:

7-18-99, Star Lake Amphitheater, Burgettstown, PA

7-8-01, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

6-16-04, Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, PA (w/ Art Garfunkel)

9-7-18, PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

 

The Crudite Compilation Top 10:

#1407.  Crudite Night Is So Delighting (Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting --- Elton John)

#1408.  Crudite (Holiday --- Madonna)

#1409.  Crudite (Holiday --- Scorpions)

#1410.  Crudite (Day By Day --- The Hooters)

#1411.  Let's Get Crudite (Let's Go All The Way --- Sly Fox)

#1412.  Crudite (Fly Away --- Lenny Kravitz)

#1417.  Crudite Mode (Holiday Road --- Lindsey Buckingham)

#1418.  Wants Crudite (So Far Away --- Dire Straits)

#1419.  The Crudite (Not Fade Away --- Grateful Dead)

#1420.  Crudite Din (Holiday Inn --- Elton John)

#1425.  Crudite (Yesterday --- Paul McCartney)

#1428.  Eatin' Crudite (Beach Boys --- Surfin' U.S.A.)

#1432.  Crudite (Holiday --- Bee Gees)

#1437.  Crudite (Stay Away --- Nirvana)

#1438.  Crudite (New Year's Day --- U2)

#1439.  One More Crudite Bite (One More Saturday Night --- Grateful Dead)

#1440.  The Crudite's Bad (The Crudite)

#1441.  Crudite (Say Say Say --- Paul McCartney & Michael Jackson)

#1471.  Crudite Plate (Runaway Train --- Soul Asylum)

#1522.  Mehmet's A Crudite Fan (We're An American Band --- Rob Zombie)

#1552.  Yum Crudite (Slade --- Run Runaway)

#1553.  Buy The Crudite (Dance The Night Away --- Van Halen)

#1554.  The Crudite (Come Sail Away --- Styx)

#1557.  Wants The Crudite (Gotta Get Away --- The Offspring)

#1559.  The Crudite (I Stay Away --- Alice In Chains)

#1561.  Oz Wants The Crudite (On The Turning Away --- Pink Floyd)

#1564.  To Scan (The Crudite) (I Ran (So Far Away) --- A Flock Of Seagulls)

#1565.  He'll Buy Crudite (Slip Slidin' Away --- Paul Simon)


The Big Lie 100: (#740)

#1417.  Crudite Mode (Holiday Road --- Lindsey Buckingham)

#1418.  Wants Crudite (So Far Away --- Dire Straits)

#1419.  The Crudite (Not Fade Away --- Grateful Dead)

#1420.  Crudite Din (Holiday Inn --- Elton John)
 
#1421.  Tiffany Smiley (Baba O'Riley --- Grateful Dead)

#1422.  Markwayne (Cocaine --- Eric Clapton)
 
#1423.  Coco Elaine (Hello Again --- The Cars)
 
#1424.  Ill Campaigns (Still Remains --- Stone Temple Pilots)
 
#1425.  Crudite (Yesterday --- Paul McCartney)
 
#1426.  Roe Roe Roe Your Vote (Row Row Row Your Vote --- Ella Fitzgerald)
 
#1427.  Tate Reeves (Governor Blows) (Believe (Nobody Knows) --- My Morning Jacket)
 
#1428.  Eatin' Crudite (Surfin' U.S.A. --- Beach Boys)
 
#1429.  Mrs. Smiley (Mr. Smiley --- Poison)
 
#1430.  Mitch McConnell (Old MacDonald --- Unknown)
 
#1431.  Master Is Special (Master Of Puppets --- Metallica) 

#1432.  Crudite (Holiday --- Bee Gees)
 
#1433.  Fucked Up Ass Blake Masters (Fabulous Disaster --- Exodus)
 
#1434.  Mrs. Smiley (Mr. Crowley --- Ozzy Osbourne)
 
#1435.  Talk To Mark Meadows (Walk In The Shadows --- Queensryche)
 
#1436. Chris Kice (The Price -- Twisted Sister)

#1437.  Crudite (Stay Away --- Nirvana)

#1438.  Crudite (New Year's Day --- U2)

#1439.  One More Crudite Bite (One More Saturday Night --- Grateful Dead)

#1440.  The Crudite's Bad (The Crudite) (Don't Go Away Mad (Just Go Away) --- Motley Crue)

#1441.  Crudite (Say Say Say --- Paul McCartney & Michael Jackson)

#1442.  That Donald Trump Is... (All In The Name Of... Motley Crue)

#1443.  Comer Isn't Very Smart (Owner Of A Lonely Heart --- Yes)

#1444.  Mehmet Oz (Just Because --- Jane's Addiction)

#1445.  A Piece Of Shit From The Start (Total Eclipse Of The Heart --- Bonnie Tyler)

#1446.  J.D. (Lady --- Styx)

#1447.  J.D. Vance (My Romance --- Carly Simon)

#1448.  Donald Trump's Hair (Ya Mo B There --- Michael McDonald)

#1449.  Dixon, Tudor (Touch My Tooter --- Ween)

#1450.  J.D. (Lady --- Little River Band)

#1451.  J.D. Is Gay (Lay Lady Lay --- Bob Dylan)

#1452.  Tudor Dixon (Superstition --- Stevie Wonder)

#1453.  Richard Woods (Harry Hood --- Phish)

#1454.  Woods (Would --- Alice In Chains)

#1455.  Ted Budd (Blackbird --- The Beatles)

#1456.  Budd Is Far Right (Bloody Well Right --- Supertramp)

#1457.  Trump's Strange (La Grange --- ZZ Top)

#1458.  Ashley Kalus (Brokedown Palace --- Grateful Dead)

#1459.  Hung Cao (Right Now --- Van Halen)

#1460.  Hung Cao (Black Cow --- Steely Dan)

#1461.  Scott Jensen (Confusion --- Electric Light Orchestra)

#1462.  Meet Mehmet (Meet The Mets --- Ruth Roberts & Bill Katz)

#1463.  Bolduc (Holed Up --- The Raconteurs)

#1464.  Bolduc's Fucked up (Hold Your Head Up --- Argent)

#1465.  Vance Is A Cunt (Eminence Front --- The Who)

#1466.  Oh Mike Lindell (The First Noel --- Brian Wilson)

#1467.  A Fucking Assclown (The Final Countdown --- Europe)

#1468.  Kim Jong Un Will Fight (Afternoon Delight --- Starland Vocal Band)

#1469.  Majewski's Outta Line (Nobody's Fault But Mine --- Led Zeppelin)

#1470.  I Guess That's Why They Call Him A Jew (I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues --- Elton John)

#1471.  Crudite Plate (Runaway Train --- Soul Asylum)

#1472.  Roger Stone (Danger Zone --- Kenny Loggins)

#1473.  Roger Stone (Danger Zone --- The Ramones)

#1474.  Laxalt (Asshole --- Tom Petty)

#1475.  Trump Is A Bitch (Under The Bridge --- Red Hot Chili Peppers)

#1476.  Mark Meadows Loves Gay Porn (Every Rose Has A Thorn --- Poison)

#1477.  Kim Jong's Illin' (You Be Illin' --- Run DMC)

#1478.  Bad Roger Stone (Bad To The Bone --- George Thorogood & The Destroyers)

#1479.  Burt (Hurt --- Nine Inch Nails)

#1480.  Pate Is A Geek (Eight Days A Week --- The Beatles)

#1481.  Poor Sandy Smith (Poor Ellen Smith --- Billy Strings)

#1482.  Laxalt (Blackout --- Scorpions)

#1483.  Steve J. Scalise (Karma Police --- Radiohead)

#1484. Steve Scalise (Dream Police --- Cheap Trick)

#1485.  Teddy Cruz (Boggie Shoes --- KC & The Sunshine Band)

#1486. Ronchetti (Black Betty --- Metal Church)

#1487.  Joe O'Dea (Day By Day --- The Hooters)

#1488.  Tommy Tuberville (A View To A Kill --- Duran Duran) 

#1489.  Fuck You Trumpers (All You Zombies --- The Hooters)

#1490.  A. Biggs (War Pigs --- Black Sabbath)

#1491.  Rubio Ga Ga (Radio Ga Ga --- Queen)

#1492.  Moran (Old Man --- Neil Young)

#1493.  Trump's A Liar (Ring Of Fire --- Johnny Cash)

#1494.  Why Does Ivanka Blow (Where Do The Children Go --- The Hooters)

#1495.  Why Why, Gay Gay (Chris Sununu) (My My, Hey Hey (Out Of The Blue) --- Neil Young)

#1496.  Tonight Ivanka Masturbates For You (Tonight I Want To Celebrate With You --- My Morning Jacket)

#1497.  Marco A. Rubio (Turn Up The Radio --- Autograph)

#1498.  Tshibaka (Fuck You) (Axilla (Part II --- Phish)

#1499.  Sinning (Winning --- Santana)

#1500.  Nunes (Jane Says --- Jane's Addiction)

#1501.  (We Don't Want No) Kenneth Paxton (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction --- Rolling Stones)

#1502.  Asshole In Trump Tower... Stinking (Standing In The Shower... Thinking --- Jane's Addiction)

#1503.  Fuck Cooper (The Trooper --- Iron Maiden)

#1504.  Ganahl (Crank Call --- Billy Idol)

#1505.  Bannon (Love Gun --- Kiss)

#1506.  Marco Rubio's A Clown And A Retard (Me And Julio Down By The Schoolyard --- Paul Simon)

#1507.  Paul LePage (Turn The Page --- Bob Seger)

#1508.  The Donald Is Orange Not White (We Only Come Out At Night --- Smashing Pumpkins)

#1509.  Cindy Kirk (Dirty Work --- Steely Dan)

#1510.  Strong And His Mouth (Song Of The South --- Alabama)

#1511.  Clarence Thomas (Mr. Crowley --- Ozzy Osbourne)

#1512.  Jim Marchant (Ants Marching --- Dave Matthews Band)

#1513.  Adam Hinojosa (Champagne Supernova --- Oasis)

#1514.  Acrisure (Immature --- Bjork)

#1515.  Michels The Liar (Trial By Fire --- Testament)

#1516.  Donald's A Liar (Great Balls Of Fire --- Jerry Lee Lewis)

#1517.  Mark Amodei (Carry that Weight --- Paul McCartney)

#1518.  George Logan (War Begun --- My Morning Jacket)

#1519.  Mike DeWine (He's So Fine --- The Chiffons)

#1520.  Connie Scott (Ocelot --- Phish)

#1521.  Colonel Robertson (Mrs. Robisnon --- Paul Simon)

#1522.  Mehmet's A Crudite Fan (We're An American Band --- Rob Zombie)

#1523.  The Liar Bob Burns (The Fire That Burns --- Twisted Sister)

#1524.  Grassley Ass Ass (Blow, Blow, Blow) (Grassy Grass Grass (Grow, Grow, Grow --- Woody Guthrie)

#1525.  Fuck Cory Mills (Run To The Hills --- Iron Maiden)

#1526.  Sununu (Katmandu --- Bob Seger)

#1527.  Josh Brecheen (Hey Nineteen --- Steely Dan)

#1528.  Lombardo (Touch And Go --- The Cars)

#1529.  Gerald Malloy (Seek And Destroy --- Metallica)

#1530.  Ezell (That Smell --- Lynyrd Skynyrd)

#1531.  Die Anus Brenna Bird (Fly Famous Mockingbird --- Phish)

#1532.  I Hope He Dies (DeSantis DeSantis) (As Time Goes By (A Kiss Is Just A Kiss) --- Herman Hupfeld)

#1533.  Sam Peters (Maneater --- Hall & Oates)

#1534.  Houchin Is A Buffoon (Bouncin' Around The Room --- Phish)

#1535.  Brenna Bird (Mockingbird --- Carly Simon)

#1536.  Eli Crane (On A Plain --- Nirvana)

#1537.  Marco Rubio (Sussudio --- Phil Collins) 

#1538.  Dislike Neil Parrott (Smells Like Teen Spirit --- Nirvana)

#1539.  Kirkmeyer (Desire --- U2)

#1540.  Bruce Poliquin (Bad Medicine --- Bon Jovi)

#1541.  Chavez DeRemer (Daydream Believer --- The Monkees)

#1542.  Michelle Steel (Spinning Wheel --- Blood, Sweat & Tears)

#1543.  Ganahl's Gay (Dance Hall Days --- Wang Chung) 

#1544.  Trump (Jump --- Van Halen)

#1545.  Justin Amash (Caught In A Mosh --- Anthrax)

#1546.  Senator Chuck Grassley (Tallahassee Lassie --- Rolling Stones)

#1547.  Omnibus (Magic Bus --- The Who)

#1548.  Bird Whore (3rd Floor --- Death Angel)

#1549.  Fuck Ganahl (Give It All --- Ratt)

#1550.  Heidi Ganahl (I Want It All --- Queen)

#1551.  Aaron Bean (Vasoline --- Stone Temple Pilots)

#1552.  Yum Crudite (Run Runaway --- Slade)

#1553.  Buy The Crudite (Dance The Night Away --- Van Halen)

#1554.  The Crudite (Come Sail Away --- Styx)

#1555.  He's John Cornyn (I Walk The Line --- Johnny Cash)

#1556.  Fuck You  John Cornyn (You Are My Sunshine --- Johnny Cash)

#1557.  Wants The Crudite (Gotta Get Away --- The Offspring)

#1558.  Tuberville (Overkill --- Motorhead)

#1559.  The Crudite (Alice In Chains --- The Crudite)

#1560.  Kushner's A Jew (With Or Without You --- U2)

#1561.  Oz Wants The Crudite (On The Turning Away --- Pink Floyd)

#1562.  So Much Pain (The Big Lie) --- (Morning Train (Nine To Five) --- Sheena Easton)

#1563.  Ganahl (Rag Doll --- Aerosmith)

#1564.  To Scan (The Crudite) (I Ran (So Far Away) --- A Flock Of Seagulls)

#1565.  He'll Buy Crudite (Slip Slidin' Away --- Paul Simon)


Please do not share this material with Mehmet Oz and/or former President Donald J. Trump.



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