#2133. Jordan

Last week, Jim Jordan's quest for Speaker of the House crashed and burned.  It got smooshed.

But if you're interested in a nationwide abortion ban, Hunter Biden's satanic laptop, gutting Medicare & social security, while simultaneously embracing the bulging warmth of the Orange Prolapse... Jordan was the shit!  Hot Shit!  Full stop!  Literally.

Easily deserving of a better outcome.

 

Jordan
sonofsaf

Ivanka is a god damn Jew
Ivanka her ass isn’t glad
She’ll fuck you even though her pussy smells bad

Stormy her advice is to suck you
She’s not Donald’s wife but she will
She’ll fuck you in the ass and use her hand

Congressman Jordan
The chest of Stormy’s bad
The chest of Stormy’s bad

Ivanka is a god damn Jew
Ivanka’s daddy says she’s hot
Asshole screw it’s in her butt the blitzkrieg bop

Stormy her advice is to fuck you
Transgender a dead beat’s your dad
 Barron who’s another clown with a coup plan

Congressman Jordan
The chest of Stormy’s bad
The chest of Stormy’s bad

He’s coming to town
Another disgrace is what I fear
A Kosher Kushner is no doubt Jew
A dyke is pure scum who fucks you
Cunt’s a cunt fake cunt
Butt his Orange Prolapse meat’s the enemy
You will fucking see

Ivanka is a god damn Jew
Vanka’s daddy says she’s hot
Asshole screw it’s in her butt the blitzkrieg bop

Stormy her advice is to fuck you
Transgender a dead beat’s your dad
Barron who’s another clown with a coup plan

Congressman Jordan
The chest of Stormy’s bad
The chest of Stormy’s bad

 

Bargain
The Who

I'd gladly lose me to find you
I'd gladly give up all I had
To find you I'd suffer anything and be glad

I'd pay any price just to get you
I'd work all my life and I will
To win you I'd stand naked, stoned and stabbed

I'd call that a bargain
The best I ever had
The best I ever had

I'd gladly lose me to find you
Gladly give up all I got
To catch you I'm gonna run and never stop

I'd pay any price just to win you
Surrender my good life for bad
To find you I'm gonna drown an unsung man

I'd call that a bargain
The best I ever had
The best I ever had

I sit looking 'round
I look at my face in the mirror
I know I'm worth nothing without you
And like one and one don't make two
One and one make one
And I'm looking for that free ride to me
I'm looking for you

I'd gladly lose me to find you
Gladly give up all I got
To catch you I'm gonna run and never stop

I'd pay any price just to win you
Surrender my good life for bad
To find you I'm gonna drown an unsung man

I'd call that a bargain
The best I ever had
The best I ever had

 

My third parody of Bargain.  Difficult, choppy lyrics.

#178.  Garland (Attorney General Merrick Garland)

#592.  Parson (extremist Missouri Governor Michael Parson)

#2132.  Jordan (douchebag Ohio Congressman Jim Jordan)

 Favorite Who song?  Probably Eminence Front.  But Bargain's definitely in my Top 5.  Great tune.

From 1967 to the present, The Who have played the Burgh a grand total of 11 times.

The Who:

7-16-89, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA

6-29-00, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

12-11-06, Value City Arena, Columbus, OH

11-11-12, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA

3-16-16, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA

5-30-19, PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

The Big Lie 100: (#1287)

#1938.  Amanda Chase (Leather and Lace --- Stevie Nicks)

#1939.  Wagner Group (Chicken Soup --- Skrillex)

#1940.  Wagner Group (Chicken Soup --- Saint Etienne)

#1941.  Donald Trump Is Not A King (Money Changes Everything --- Cyndi Lauper)

#1942.  Will Hurd (Songbird --- Fleetwood Mac)

#1943.  Trump Is Gay (Trip Away --- Jane's Addiction)

#1944.  Transgender (Surrender --- Natalie Taylor)

#1945.  Robert Bowers (After Hours --- Boz Scaggs)

#1946.  Transgender (Surrender --- Cheap Trick)

#1947.  Mercenary (Virgin Mary --- Joan Baez)

#1948.  Bacon's Fucking You (Breaking Us In Two --- Joe Jackson)

#1949.  Donald Ain't White (Feelin' Alright --- Joe Cocker)

#1950.  Trump's A Cunt (Born To Run --- Bruce Springsteen)

#1951.  Orange Prolapse Fart (Call To Your Heart --- Giuffria)

#1952.  Robert Bowers (Kilburn Towers --- Bee Gees)

#1953.  Is An Asshole (Antisocial --- Anthrax)

#1954.  Walt Nauta (Saltwater --- Julian Lennon)

#1955.  Gay Donald (Hey Stoopid --- Alice Cooper)

#1956.  Luna (Tuna --- Hooverphonic)

#1957.  Sick Bowers (Six Hours --- Alice Cooper)

#1958.  A Border (No Quarter --- Led Zeppelin)

#1959.  Cocaine (The Chain --- Fleetwood Mac)

#1960.  Steven Daines (Country Lanes --- Bee Gees)

#1961.  Greene Is Outta Line (Teenage Frankenstein --- Alice Cooper)

#1962.  Nauta Fucks You (Gotta Jibboo --- Phish)

#1963.  Greene Can't Be Trusted (Mean Mister Mustard --- The Beatles)

#1964.  Kash (Trash --- Silverchair)

#1965.  Sam Brown (Breakdown --- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)

#1966.  The Jesse Law Acrimony (The Oh Kee Pa Ceremony --- Phish)

#1967.  I Hate Sam Brown (I Won't Back Down --- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)

#1968.  Aileen Cannon (Feast or Famine --- Seether)

#1969.  Tommy (Shit) (Eminem --- Mommy (Skit)

#1970.  I Saw Tommy Fisting Donald Trump (I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus --- Twisted Sister)

#1971.  Tommy, Can A Nationalist Be White (Mommy, Can I Go Out And Kill Tonight --- The Misfits)

#1972.  Taylor Greene's Gay (In Between Days --- The Cure)

#1973.  Just Like Kevin (Just Like Heaven --- The Cure)

#1974.  Eli Crane (Crazy Train --- Ozzy Osbourne)

#1975.  Crane (Rain --- Rusted Root)

#1976.  Eli Crane (Purple Rain --- Prince)

#1977.  Taylor Greene (Gasoline --- Audioslave)

#1978.  Nauta And The Treason (Gotta Have A Reason --- Bon Jovi)

#1979.  His Ass Is Why: A Fist For DeSantis (As Time Goes By: A Kiss Is Just A Kiss --- Willie Nelson & Julio Eglesias)

#1980.  Roy's A Fanatic (Toys In The Attic --- Aerosmith)

#1981.  Two Thousand Mules (Nobody's Fool --- Cinderella)

#1982.  Taylor Greene (Gasoline --- Trampled By Turtles)

#1983.  Clown (Down --- Pearl Jam)

#1984.  Taylor Greene (Mean Machine --- Motorhead)

#1985.  Tom Fitton, Big Lie (Once Bitten, Twice Shy --- Great White)

#1986.  Chip Roy's A Fucking Clown (The Toys Go Winding Down --- Primus)

#1987.  Cannon (Famine --- Death Angel)

#1988.  Greene (Jean --- David Hasselhoff)

#1989.  Jim Justice (Street Justice --- Cro-Mags)

#1990.  Ayotte (Slipknot --- Grateful Dead)

#1991.  Hawley (Polly --- Nirvana)

#1992.  Proud Boys Love Trump The Clown (The Boys Are Back In Town --- Thin Lizzy)

#1993.  Cornyn (Outshined --- Soundgarden)

#1994.  Mittens Romney (Hot Pastrami --- The Ronettes)

#1995.  Meet John Cornyn (Sweet Caroline --- James Taylor)

#1996.  John Cornyn (Red, Red Wine --- Neil Diamond)

#1997.  Timothy Shea (Come Out And Play --- The Offspring)

#1998.  Shithead Fred Keller (Rats In The Cellar --- Aerosmith)

#1999.  Timothy Shea (Games People Play --- Alan Parsons Project)

#2000.  Trump's A Fuckin' Orange Clown (Try That In A Small Town --- Jason Aldean)

#2001.  Aldean (Machine --- Black Flag)

#2002.  Aldean (Machine --- Violent Femmes)

#2003.  Chris Sununu (Out Of The Blue --- Alan Parsons Project)

#2004.  Aldean Cunt (Machine Gun --- The Commodores)

#2005.  Vance Is White And Gay (Dance The Night Away --- Van Halen)

#2006.  Huckabee (Suddenly --- Billy Ocean)

#2007.  He's Braun (He's Gone --- Grateful Dead)

 

#2008.  Bishop Probes (Bishop's Robes --- Radiohead)

#2009.  Vance, Vance, Vance (Dance, Dance, Dance --- Neil Young)

#2010.  Donald's Arraignment (That's Entertainment --- Aretha Franklin)

#2011.  Taylor Greene (Hey Nineteen --- Steely Dan)

#2012.  An Asshole No Doubt (The Sun Will Come Out --- Little Orphan Annie)

#2013.  Hillbilly J.D. Vance (Victim of Circumstance --- Santana)

#2014.  Dolan (Stolen --- The Brian Jonestown Massacre)

#2015.  Jim Justice (Blind Justice --- Agnostic Front)

#2016.  My God's Donald Trump (My God Is The Sun --- Queens Of The Stone Age)

#2017.  Robert T. Bigelow (Moving In Stereo --- The Cars)

#2018.  Joshua Sills (Beverly Hills --- Weezer)

#2019.  Pritt Is An Orange Prolapse Fart (Quit Playin' Games With My Heart --- Backstreet Boys)

#2020.  Pudding Fingers (Crazy Fingers --- Grateful Dead) 

#2021.  Deace (Peace --- Judas Priest)

#2022.  Joshua Stills (Beverly Hills --- Circle Jerks)

#2023.  Deace (Peace -- Weezer)

#2024.  Donald's Arraignment (That's Entertainment --- Powerman 5000)

#2025.  Scott Brown (Breakdown --- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)

#2026.  Trevian Kutti (Heavy Duty --- Judas Priest)

#2027.  Donald's Arraignment (That's Entertainment --- Rancid)

#2028.  CUM (Dumb --- Nirvana)

 

#2029.  Clark (Sparks --- Coldplay)

 

#2030.  DOJ Jeffrey Clark (Saturday In The Park --- Chicago)

 

#2031.  Deace (Grease --- Bee Gees)

 

#2032.  Abigail Jo Shry (No Woman, No Cry --- Bob Marley & The Wailers)

 

#2033.  Abigail (Abigail --- King Diamond)

 

#2034.  Nauta's Really Gay (Gotta Get Away --- The Offspring)

 

#2035.  Owens (Oceans --- Pearl Jam)

 

#2036.  Jew!  (Who? --- Brian Jonestown Massacre)

 

#2037.  Shawn Still's A Creep (Until It Sleeps --- Metallica)

 

#2038.  Findling (Kindling --- Harry Brokensha & Nick Wilson)

 

#2039.  Doug Burgum (Bang The Drum --- Lindsey Buckingham)

 

#2040.  Puddin' Stain (Puddin' Taine --- Primus)

 

#2041.  Harrison Floyd (Into The Void --- Kiss)

 

#2042.  Sam Brown (Breakdown --- Moby)

 

#2043.  Sadow (Meatplow --- Stone Temple Pilots)

 

#2044.  Lawfare (I Swear --- All 4 One)

 

#2045.  Reddy Really Blows (Steady, As She Goes --- The Raconteurs)

 

#2046.  Stormy's Chest (Phone Went West --- My Morning Jacket)

 

#2047.  Lake's A Dummy And Cunt (Take The Money And Run --- Steve Miller)

 

#2048.  Lake's A Liar (Lake Of Fire --- Nirvana)

 

#2049.  Assclown (Lowdown --- My Morning Jacket)

 

#2050.  Fuck Forty-Five (Love Is Alive --- Gary Wright)

 

#2051.  Lake Will Fuck You (Take Me With You --- Prince)

 

#2052.  Stephen Lee (Let It Be --- The Beatles)

 

#2053.  Pezzola's Bad News (Viola Lee Blues --- Grateful Dead)

 

#2054.  Crow (Snow --- The Chemical Brothers)

 

#2055.  Blow Chesebro (Go With the Flow --- Queens Of The Stone Age)

 

#2056.  Brandon Judd (Book Of Blood --- Armored Saint)

 

#2057.  David Cole (Rock And Roll --- Led Zeppelin)

 

#2058.  David Cole (Heart And Soul --- Huey Lewis & The News)

 

#2059.  Senator Cruz (Second Hand News --- Fleetwood Mac)

 

#2060.  Elon (He's Gone --- Grateful Dead)

 

#2061.  I Guess That's Why They Call Him Ted Cruz (I Guess That's Why They Call Him Ted Cruz --- Elton John)

 

#2062.  Kari Lake (Crater Lake --- Liz Phair)

#2063.  Rehl (Deal --- Grateful Dead)

#2064.  Navarro (I Don't Know --- Ozzy Osbourne)

#2065.  Navarro (Touch And Go --- The Cars)

#2066.  Noem (Roam --- The B-52's)

#2067.  Charles Roy (Corduroy --- Pearl Jam)

#2068.  Shutdown (Breakdown --- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)

#2069.  Rectum of J.D. Vance (Victim of Circumstance --- Carole King)

 

#2070.  Kim Jong Un (Harvest Moon --- Neil Young)

 

#2071.  Un (Soon --- My Bloody Valentine)

 

#2072.  Harlan Crow (Let It Snow --- Billy Idol)

 

#2073.  Crow (Low --- Cracker)

 

#2074.  Trump Dump's A Piece Of Shit (Trump Won And You Know It --- Natasha Owens)

 

#2075.  Trump Farts (Doll Parts --- Hole)

 

#2076.  Tuberville (Looks That Kill --- Motley Crue)

 

#2077.  Trump Was Born To Fuck You (I Was Born To Love You --- Ray LaMontagne)

 

#2078.  Harrison Floyd (Nine Inch Nails --- Into The Void)

 

#2079.  Ted Cruz (Bad News --- Johnny Cash)

 

#2080.  Rand Paul (Snowball --- Jimmy Fallon)

 

#2081.  Ray Epps (Footsteps --- Pearl Jam)

 

#2082.  Crow (Low --- Coldplay)

 

#2083.  Donald Is Gay (Those Were The Days --- All In The Family theme song)

 

#2084.  Bill Cassidy (Butch Cassidy --- My Morning Jacket)

 

#2085.  Birdbrain (Cocaine --- Eric Clapton)

 

#2086.  McDonald's Meals (Head Over Heels --- The Go-Go's)

 

#2087.  Birdbrain (Red Rain --- Peter Gabriel)

 

#2088.  Birdbrain (Love Train --- Rolling Stones)

 

#2089.  Nikki Haley's A Birdbrain (Have You Ever Seen The Rain --- CCR/John Fogerty)

 

#2090.  Donald Duck (Disco Duck --- Rick Dees And His Cast Of Idiots)

 

#2091.  Birdbrain (Sweet Jane --- The Velvet Underground)

 

#2092.  Birdbrain (Queen Jane ---Grateful Dead)

 

#2093.  Donald Duck (What The Fuck --- The Boxer Rebellion)

 

#2094.  Donald Duck (Police Truck --- Megadeth) 

 

#2095.  Kise Team (Nice Dream --- Radiohead)

 

#2096.  James Craig (Bootleg --- John Fogerty)

 

#2097.  Donald Bender (Hey Big Spender --- Queen)

 

#2098.  Greene Lies (Green Eyes --- Husker Du)

 

#2099.  Chris Kise (Love Bites --- Judas Priest)

 

#2100.  Those Greene Lies (Those Green Eyes --- Avett Brothers)

 

#2102.  Jim (Gym --- Adam Sandler)

 

#2103.  Habba Will Fuck Ya (Havah Nagilah --- Neil Diamond)

 

#2104.  Jim Jordan (The Warden --- Old Crow Medicine Show)

 

#2105.  Stephen Scalise (Karma Police --- Radiohead)

 

#2106.  Fucked Up Hamas (Upon The Cross --- King Diamond)

 

#2107.  Ron DeSantis (Reminiscing --- Little River Band)

 

#2108.  Lake Will Screw (Open Your Ass Wide) (Break On Through To The Other Side --- The Doors)

 

#2109.  Lake's My Enemy (Cake And Sodomy --- Marilyn Manson)

 

#2110.  A Coup D'Etat's The Plan (I Want To Hold Your Hand --- The Beatles)

 

#2111.  Goodbye Hamas (Deny The Cross --- Overkill)

 

#2112.  Steve Scalise (Piece By Piece --- Slayer)

 

#2113.  Kari Lake Is Gay (God Will Make A Way --- Don Moen)

 

#2114.  Jeff McConney Sinner (Reality Winner --- Son Volt)

 

#2115.  Kari Lake's Gonna Fart (Don't Go Breaking My Heart --- Elton John)

 

#2116.  Lake Is Full Of Bullshit (Take It To The Limit --- The Eagles)

 

#2117.  Kari Lake Will Fart (Achy Breaky Heart --- Billy Ray Cyrus)

 

#2118.  Deif  (Grief --- Sepultura)

 

#2119.  Where's El Deif (Where's The Beef --- 1980's Wendy's Commercial)

 

#2120.  And I Hate That Steve Scalise (When I Paint My Masterpiece --- Grateful Dead)

 

#2121. She's Brenna Bird (Gee, I'm A Nerd --- Weird Al Yankovic)

#2122.  That Brenna Bird (This Little Bird --- Nancy Sinatra)

 

#2123.  Why Is Ivanka (Why Don't We Get Drunk --- Jimmy Buffett)

 

#2124.  Brenna Bird (Surfin' Bird --- The Trashmen)

 

#2125.  Brenna Bird (Lady Bird --- Nancy Sinatra)

 

#2126.  Bird Is A Liar (Bird On A Wire --- Johnny Cash)

 

#2127.  Austin Scott (Ocelot --- Phish)

 

#2128.  El Deif (Sweet Leaf --- Black Sabbath)

 

#2129.  Emmer (Hummer --- Cheap Trick)

 

#2130.  On Truth Social (Antisocial --- Anthrax)

 

#2131.  Waltz Is An Asshole

 

#2132.  Trump's A Retard (Calling Blue Cars --- Dishwalla)

 

#2133.  Jordan (Bargain --- The Who)

Please do not share this material with Jim Jordan (R-OH) and/or former President Donald J. Trump.