#2148. Kristi's, A Fucking Gnome

With the planet in turmoil, Governor Kristi Noem (R-SD) is gittin' down to business.  She's preparing to wage war against the NCAA.  

If I had to wager a bet on an Orange Prolapse VP selection, I'd pick the midwest gnome.

So Noem and eight other Republican Governors...

Sarah Sanders (R-AR), Tate Reeves (R-MS), Mike Parson (R-MO), Greg Gianforte (R-MT), Joe Lombardo (R-NV), Kevin Stitt (R-OK), Greg Abbott (R-TX), and Mark Gordon (R-WY)

... are spearheading an effort to eliminate transgendered individuals from participating in college athletics.  Congratulations!  Great distraction.  A mindless furtherance of the 2024 culture wars.  

All of these governors have something in common.  

1.  I've parodied all of them.  Several on multiple occasions.

2.  They all express an extreme eagerness to get down on their hands and knees and lick the Orange Prolapse's orange prolapse.

 

Kristi’s, A Fucking Gnome
sonofsaf

Crime’s to blame and crime’s a shame
She’s a cunt, and the sex is lame
Kristi’s, a fucking gnome

Slime is why, pink you see
McDonald’s meat is not her enemy
Kristi’s, a fucking gnome

Trump didn’t win and there is no doubt
Yeah, the voters biggie-sized, yeah
Fooled around with a Quarter Pound
She’s a liar in disguise

I wish he’d die, ‘cause I despise
Forty-five’s spreading the big lie
Kristi’s, a fucking gnome

Trump isn’t white, his dick ain’t long
He’s even mad, at Stormy’s thong
Kristi’s, a fucking gnome

Flood of blood, yeah, shits on a throne
A golden toilet stall, yeah
And he’s gonna get his mushroom blown
As the others take the fall

A coup d’etat is a bad crime
Smell so gay Orange Prolapse fart
An insurrection’s outta line, yeah
‘Cause Kristi, Kristi’s, a fucking gnome
Kristi’s, a fucking gnome

Trump didn’t win and there is no doubt
Yeah, the voters biggie-sized, yeah
Fooled around with a Quarter Pound
She’s a liar in disguise

A coup d’etat is a bad crime
Smell so gay Orange Prolapse fart
An insurrection’s outta line, yeah
‘Cause Kristi, Kristi’s, a fucking gnome
A fucking gnome
A fucking gnome
A fucking gnome

 

Mama, I'm Coming Home
Ozzy Osbourne

Times have changed and times are strange
Here I come, but I ain't the same
Mama, I'm coming home

Times gone by, seems to be
You could have been a better friend to me
Mama, I'm coming home

You took me in and you drove me out
Yeah, you had me hypnotized, yeah
Lost and found and turned around
By the fire in your eyes

You made me cry, you told me lies
But I can't stand to say goodbye
Mama, I'm coming home

I could be right, I could be wrong
It hurts so bad, it's been so long
Mama, I'm coming home

Selfish love, yeah, we're both alone
The ride before the fall, yeah
But I'm gonna take this heart of stone
I just got to have it all

I've seen your face a hundred times
Everyday we've been apart
I don't care about the sunshine, yeah
'Cause mama, mama, I'm coming home
I'm coming home

You took me in and you drove me out
Yeah, you had me hypnotised, yeah
Lost and found and turned around
By the fire in your eyes

I've seen your face a thousand times
Everyday we've been apart
And I don't care about the sunshine, yeah
'Cause mama, mama, I'm coming home
I'm coming home
I'm coming home
I'm coming home

One of Ozzy Osbourne's most popular songs.  I have no idea why.  There's just so much better material out there.  For example, anything off Bark at the Moon.

Since 1981, Ozzy has played the Burgh a grand total of 15 times.  Never seen him live in concert.  True story.  Honestly, it's one that defies reality.

Gnome Top 10:

#1.  Noem Sweet Noem: (Motley Crue --- Home Sweet Home)

#242.  Cumming Noem: (Scorpions --- Coming Home)

#249.  Sweet Noem South Dakota: (Lynyrd Skynyrd --- Sweet Home Alabama)

#301.  Welcome Noem Planetarium: (Metallica --- Welcome Home Sanitarium)

#302.  Who Says You Can't Blow Noem: (Bon Jovi --- Who Says You Can't Go Home)

#303.  Noem: (Daughtry --- Home)

#497.  Can't Stand Kristi Noem: (Blind Faith --- Can't Find My Way Home)

#515.  Fuck The Leech:  (Jane's Addiction --- Up The Beach)

#535.  Welcome Noem: (King Diamond --- Welcome Noem)

#536.  Noem: (Phish --- Foam)

#703.  Noem: (Unknown --- universal meditation mantra)

#704.  Asshole Noem: (Astrodome --- Houston ex-mayor, Roy Hofheinz)

#721.  I Haunt Kristi Noem (Me Want Honeycomb --- Post Mills marketing dept.)

#1009.  Noem (Home --- Foo Fighters)

#1319.  Kristi Noem's, Cunt Explodes (Take Me Home Country Roads --- John Denver)

#1813.  Kristi Noem (Kodachrome --- Paul Simon)

#1816.  Kristi Noem (Hell Is Chrome --- Wilco)

#2066.  Noem (Roam --- The B-52's)

#2148.  Kristi's, A Fucking Gnome (Mama, I'm Coming Home --- Ozzy Osbourne)

 

The Big Lie 100: (#1302)

#1938.  Amanda Chase (Leather and Lace --- Stevie Nicks)

#1939.  Wagner Group (Chicken Soup --- Skrillex)

#1940.  Wagner Group (Chicken Soup --- Saint Etienne)

#1941.  Donald Trump Is Not A King (Money Changes Everything --- Cyndi Lauper)

#1942.  Will Hurd (Songbird --- Fleetwood Mac)

#1943.  Trump Is Gay (Trip Away --- Jane's Addiction)

#1944.  Transgender (Surrender --- Natalie Taylor)

#1945.  Robert Bowers (After Hours --- Boz Scaggs)

#1946.  Transgender (Surrender --- Cheap Trick)

#1947.  Mercenary (Virgin Mary --- Joan Baez)

#1948.  Bacon's Fucking You (Breaking Us In Two --- Joe Jackson)

#1949.  Donald Ain't White (Feelin' Alright --- Joe Cocker)

#1950.  Trump's A Cunt (Born To Run --- Bruce Springsteen)

#1951.  Orange Prolapse Fart (Call To Your Heart --- Giuffria)

#1952.  Robert Bowers (Kilburn Towers --- Bee Gees)

#1953.  Is An Asshole (Antisocial --- Anthrax)

#1954.  Walt Nauta (Saltwater --- Julian Lennon)

#1955.  Gay Donald (Hey Stoopid --- Alice Cooper)

#1956.  Luna (Tuna --- Hooverphonic)

#1957.  Sick Bowers (Six Hours --- Alice Cooper)

#1958.  A Border (No Quarter --- Led Zeppelin)

#1959.  Cocaine (The Chain --- Fleetwood Mac)

#1960.  Steven Daines (Country Lanes --- Bee Gees)

#1961.  Greene Is Outta Line (Teenage Frankenstein --- Alice Cooper)

#1962.  Nauta Fucks You (Gotta Jibboo --- Phish)

#1963.  Greene Can't Be Trusted (Mean Mister Mustard --- The Beatles)

#1964.  Kash (Trash --- Silverchair)

#1965.  Sam Brown (Breakdown --- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)

#1966.  The Jesse Law Acrimony (The Oh Kee Pa Ceremony --- Phish)

#1967.  I Hate Sam Brown (I Won't Back Down --- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)

#1968.  Aileen Cannon (Feast or Famine --- Seether)

#1969.  Tommy (Shit) (Eminem --- Mommy (Skit)

#1970.  I Saw Tommy Fisting Donald Trump (I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus --- Twisted Sister)

#1971.  Tommy, Can A Nationalist Be White (Mommy, Can I Go Out And Kill Tonight --- The Misfits)

#1972.  Taylor Greene's Gay (In Between Days --- The Cure)

#1973.  Just Like Kevin (Just Like Heaven --- The Cure)

#1974.  Eli Crane (Crazy Train --- Ozzy Osbourne)

#1975.  Crane (Rain --- Rusted Root)

#1976.  Eli Crane (Purple Rain --- Prince)

#1977.  Taylor Greene (Gasoline --- Audioslave)

#1978.  Nauta And The Treason (Gotta Have A Reason --- Bon Jovi)

#1979.  His Ass Is Why: A Fist For DeSantis (As Time Goes By: A Kiss Is Just A Kiss --- Willie Nelson & Julio Eglesias)

#1980.  Roy's A Fanatic (Toys In The Attic --- Aerosmith)

#1981.  Two Thousand Mules (Nobody's Fool --- Cinderella)

#1982.  Taylor Greene (Gasoline --- Trampled By Turtles)

#1983.  Clown (Down --- Pearl Jam)

#1984.  Taylor Greene (Mean Machine --- Motorhead)

#1985.  Tom Fitton, Big Lie (Once Bitten, Twice Shy --- Great White)

#1986.  Chip Roy's A Fucking Clown (The Toys Go Winding Down --- Primus)

#1987.  Cannon (Famine --- Death Angel)

#1988.  Greene (Jean --- David Hasselhoff)

#1989.  Jim Justice (Street Justice --- Cro-Mags)

#1990.  Ayotte (Slipknot --- Grateful Dead)

#1991.  Hawley (Polly --- Nirvana)

#1992.  Proud Boys Love Trump The Clown (The Boys Are Back In Town --- Thin Lizzy)

#1993.  Cornyn (Outshined --- Soundgarden)

#1994.  Mittens Romney (Hot Pastrami --- The Ronettes)

#1995.  Meet John Cornyn (Sweet Caroline --- James Taylor)

#1996.  John Cornyn (Red, Red Wine --- Neil Diamond)

#1997.  Timothy Shea (Come Out And Play --- The Offspring)

#1998.  Shithead Fred Keller (Rats In The Cellar --- Aerosmith)

#1999.  Timothy Shea (Games People Play --- Alan Parsons Project)

#2000.  Trump's A Fuckin' Orange Clown (Try That In A Small Town --- Jason Aldean)

#2001.  Aldean (Machine --- Black Flag)

#2002.  Aldean (Machine --- Violent Femmes)

#2003.  Chris Sununu (Out Of The Blue --- Alan Parsons Project)

#2004.  Aldean Cunt (Machine Gun --- The Commodores)

#2005.  Vance Is White And Gay (Dance The Night Away --- Van Halen)

#2006.  Huckabee (Suddenly --- Billy Ocean)

#2007.  He's Braun (He's Gone --- Grateful Dead)

 

#2008.  Bishop Probes (Bishop's Robes --- Radiohead)

#2009.  Vance, Vance, Vance (Dance, Dance, Dance --- Neil Young)

#2010.  Donald's Arraignment (That's Entertainment --- Aretha Franklin)

#2011.  Taylor Greene (Hey Nineteen --- Steely Dan)

#2012.  An Asshole No Doubt (The Sun Will Come Out --- Little Orphan Annie)

#2013.  Hillbilly J.D. Vance (Victim of Circumstance --- Santana)

#2014.  Dolan (Stolen --- The Brian Jonestown Massacre)

#2015.  Jim Justice (Blind Justice --- Agnostic Front)

#2016.  My God's Donald Trump (My God Is The Sun --- Queens Of The Stone Age)

#2017.  Robert T. Bigelow (Moving In Stereo --- The Cars)

#2018.  Joshua Sills (Beverly Hills --- Weezer)

#2019.  Pritt Is An Orange Prolapse Fart (Quit Playin' Games With My Heart --- Backstreet Boys)

#2020.  Pudding Fingers (Crazy Fingers --- Grateful Dead) 

#2021.  Deace (Peace --- Judas Priest)

#2022.  Joshua Stills (Beverly Hills --- Circle Jerks)

#2023.  Deace (Peace -- Weezer)

#2024.  Donald's Arraignment (That's Entertainment --- Powerman 5000)

#2025.  Scott Brown (Breakdown --- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)

#2026.  Trevian Kutti (Heavy Duty --- Judas Priest)

#2027.  Donald's Arraignment (That's Entertainment --- Rancid)

#2028.  CUM (Dumb --- Nirvana)

 

#2029.  Clark (Sparks --- Coldplay)

 

#2030.  DOJ Jeffrey Clark (Saturday In The Park --- Chicago)

 

#2031.  Deace (Grease --- Bee Gees)

 

#2032.  Abigail Jo Shry (No Woman, No Cry --- Bob Marley & The Wailers)

 

#2033.  Abigail (Abigail --- King Diamond)

 

#2034.  Nauta's Really Gay (Gotta Get Away --- The Offspring)

 

#2035.  Owens (Oceans --- Pearl Jam)

 

#2036.  Jew!  (Who? --- Brian Jonestown Massacre)

 

#2037.  Shawn Still's A Creep (Until It Sleeps --- Metallica)

 

#2038.  Findling (Kindling --- Harry Brokensha & Nick Wilson)

 

#2039.  Doug Burgum (Bang The Drum --- Lindsey Buckingham)

 

#2040.  Puddin' Stain (Puddin' Taine --- Primus)

 

#2041.  Harrison Floyd (Into The Void --- Kiss)

 

#2042.  Sam Brown (Breakdown --- Moby)

 

#2043.  Sadow (Meatplow --- Stone Temple Pilots)

 

#2044.  Lawfare (I Swear --- All 4 One)

 

#2045.  Reddy Really Blows (Steady, As She Goes --- The Raconteurs)

 

#2046.  Stormy's Chest (Phone Went West --- My Morning Jacket)

 

#2047.  Lake's A Dummy And Cunt (Take The Money And Run --- Steve Miller)

 

#2048.  Lake's A Liar (Lake Of Fire --- Nirvana)

 

#2049.  Assclown (Lowdown --- My Morning Jacket)

 

#2050.  Fuck Forty-Five (Love Is Alive --- Gary Wright)

 

#2051.  Lake Will Fuck You (Take Me With You --- Prince)

 

#2052.  Stephen Lee (Let It Be --- The Beatles)

 

#2053.  Pezzola's Bad News (Viola Lee Blues --- Grateful Dead)

 

#2054.  Crow (Snow --- The Chemical Brothers)

 

#2055.  Blow Chesebro (Go With the Flow --- Queens Of The Stone Age)

 

#2056.  Brandon Judd (Book Of Blood --- Armored Saint)

 

#2057.  David Cole (Rock And Roll --- Led Zeppelin)

 

#2058.  David Cole (Heart And Soul --- Huey Lewis & The News)

 

#2059.  Senator Cruz (Second Hand News --- Fleetwood Mac)

 

#2060.  Elon (He's Gone --- Grateful Dead)

 

#2061.  I Guess That's Why They Call Him Ted Cruz (I Guess That's Why They Call Him Ted Cruz --- Elton John)

 

#2062.  Kari Lake (Crater Lake --- Liz Phair)

#2063.  Rehl (Deal --- Grateful Dead)

#2064.  Navarro (I Don't Know --- Ozzy Osbourne)

#2065.  Navarro (Touch And Go --- The Cars)

#2066.  Noem (Roam --- The B-52's)

#2067.  Charles Roy (Corduroy --- Pearl Jam)

#2068.  Shutdown (Breakdown --- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)

#2069.  Rectum of J.D. Vance (Victim of Circumstance --- Carole King)

 

#2070.  Kim Jong Un (Harvest Moon --- Neil Young)

 

#2071.  Un (Soon --- My Bloody Valentine)

 

#2072.  Harlan Crow (Let It Snow --- Billy Idol)

 

#2073.  Crow (Low --- Cracker)

 

#2074.  Trump Dump's A Piece Of Shit (Trump Won And You Know It --- Natasha Owens)

 

#2075.  Trump Farts (Doll Parts --- Hole)

 

#2076.  Tuberville (Looks That Kill --- Motley Crue)

 

#2077.  Trump Was Born To Fuck You (I Was Born To Love You --- Ray LaMontagne)

 

#2078.  Harrison Floyd (Nine Inch Nails --- Into The Void)

 

#2079.  Ted Cruz (Bad News --- Johnny Cash)

 

#2080.  Rand Paul (Snowball --- Jimmy Fallon)

 

#2081.  Ray Epps (Footsteps --- Pearl Jam)

 

#2082.  Crow (Low --- Coldplay)

 

#2083.  Donald Is Gay (Those Were The Days --- All In The Family theme song)

 

#2084.  Bill Cassidy (Butch Cassidy --- My Morning Jacket)

 

#2085.  Birdbrain (Cocaine --- Eric Clapton)

 

#2086.  McDonald's Meals (Head Over Heels --- The Go-Go's)

 

#2087.  Birdbrain (Red Rain --- Peter Gabriel)

 

#2088.  Birdbrain (Love Train --- Rolling Stones)

 

#2089.  Nikki Haley's A Birdbrain (Have You Ever Seen The Rain --- CCR/John Fogerty)

 

#2090.  Donald Duck (Disco Duck --- Rick Dees And His Cast Of Idiots)

 

#2091.  Birdbrain (Sweet Jane --- The Velvet Underground)

 

#2092.  Birdbrain (Queen Jane ---Grateful Dead)

 

#2093.  Donald Duck (What The Fuck --- The Boxer Rebellion)

 

#2094.  Donald Duck (Police Truck --- Megadeth) 

 

#2095.  Kise Team (Nice Dream --- Radiohead)

 

#2096.  James Craig (Bootleg --- John Fogerty)

 

#2097.  Donald Bender (Hey Big Spender --- Queen)

 

#2098.  Greene Lies (Green Eyes --- Husker Du)

 

#2099.  Chris Kise (Love Bites --- Judas Priest)

 

#2100.  Those Greene Lies (Those Green Eyes --- Avett Brothers)

 

#2102.  Jim (Gym --- Adam Sandler)

 

#2103.  Habba Will Fuck Ya (Havah Nagilah --- Neil Diamond)

 

#2104.  Jim Jordan (The Warden --- Old Crow Medicine Show)

 

#2105.  Stephen Scalise (Karma Police --- Radiohead)

 

#2106.  Fucked Up Hamas (Upon The Cross --- King Diamond)

 

#2107.  Ron DeSantis (Reminiscing --- Little River Band)

 

#2108.  Lake Will Screw (Open Your Ass Wide) (Break On Through To The Other Side --- The Doors)

 

#2109.  Lake's My Enemy (Cake And Sodomy --- Marilyn Manson)

 

#2110.  A Coup D'Etat's The Plan (I Want To Hold Your Hand --- The Beatles)

 

#2111.  Goodbye Hamas (Deny The Cross --- Overkill)

 

#2112.  Steve Scalise (Piece By Piece --- Slayer)

 

#2113.  Kari Lake Is Gay (God Will Make A Way --- Don Moen)

 

#2114.  Jeff McConney Sinner (Reality Winner --- Son Volt)

 

#2115.  Kari Lake's Gonna Fart (Don't Go Breaking My Heart --- Elton John)

 

#2116.  Lake Is Full Of Bullshit (Take It To The Limit --- The Eagles)

 

#2117.  Kari Lake Will Fart (Achy Breaky Heart --- Billy Ray Cyrus)

 

#2118.  Deif  (Grief --- Sepultura)

 

#2119.  Where's El Deif (Where's The Beef --- 1980's Wendy's Commercial)

 

#2120.  And I Hate That Steve Scalise (When I Paint My Masterpiece --- Grateful Dead)

 

#2121. She's Brenna Bird (Gee, I'm A Nerd --- Weird Al Yankovic)

#2122.  That Brenna Bird (This Little Bird --- Nancy Sinatra)

 

#2123.  Why Is Ivanka (Why Don't We Get Drunk --- Jimmy Buffett)

 

#2124.  Brenna Bird (Surfin' Bird --- The Trashmen)

 

#2125.  Brenna Bird (Lady Bird --- Nancy Sinatra)

 

#2126.  Bird Is A Liar (Bird On A Wire --- Johnny Cash)

 

#2127.  Austin Scott (Ocelot --- Phish)

 

#2128.  El Deif (Sweet Leaf --- Black Sabbath)

 

#2129.  Emmer (Hummer --- Cheap Trick)

 

#2130.  On Truth Social (Antisocial --- Anthrax)

 

#2131.  Waltz Is An Asshole

 

#2132.  Trump's A Retard (Calling Blue Cars --- Dishwalla)

 

#2133.  Jordan (Bargain --- The Who)

 

#2134.  That Liar Mark Burns (The Fire Still Burns --- Twisted Sister)

 

#2135.  Palmer (Bomber --- Motorhead)

 

#2136.  Pete Sessions (Impressions --- Napalm Death)

 

#2137.  Stormy's Gonna Fake It (We're Not Gonna Take It --- Twisted Sister)

 

#2138.  Jim Jordan (The Curtain --- Phish)

 

#2139.  Mike Johnson (Black Hole Sun --- Soundgarden)

 

#2140.  Justice (Justice --- Krokus)

 

#2141.  Pete Sessions (Possessions --- Loretta Lynn)

 

#2142.  Tata Fucks You (Gotta Jibboo --- Phish)

 

#2143.  I'm Giving To Mike Johnson (I'm Living In Wisconsin --- The Dead Milkmen)

 

#2144.  Mike Johnson (Done And Done --- The Tragically Hip)

 

#2145.  Larry Elder (Gimme Shelter --- Rolling Stones) 

 

#2146.  Donald Trump Isn't White (And We Bid You Goodnight --- Grateful Dead)

 

#2147.  Larry Elder (Helter Skelter --- The Beatles)

 

#2148.  Kristi's, A Fucking Gnome (Mama, I'm Coming Home --- Ozzy Osbourne)

 

Please do not share this material with Governor Kristi Noem (R-SD) and/or former President Donald J. Trump.