#2300. David Tepper Ain't Much Of A Man

Believe it or not, I actually attended David Tepper's commencement speech at Carnegie Melon University back in 2018.  

 

He had just purchased the Carolina Panthers for a record 2.75 billion.  Chump change for an NFL owner worth over 20 billion.  As a fellow yinzer, I was hoping to have a word with him about preventing the next possible 9/11.  

No such luck.

 

Regardless, his commencement speech was a bit unusual.  He spoke at great length about ending the scourge of domestic violence.

Little did we know, that when the Honorable Dr. Tepper's football team tanked (2-14 heading into their final game), he's very prone to losing his temper.

Tepper's temper on full display.

 

 

 

David Tepper Ain’t Much Of A Man
sonofsaf

Carolina Panthers very gay
And David Tepper’s gonna lead the way
He’s been blowing dicks and all the while
On his fuckin’ knees ‘cause that’s his style
His hedge fund’s gonna fuck you too
The plan’s a dildo in your rear
David Tepper ain’t much of a man

That David Tepper ain’t much of a man
His tiny mushroom cock you’ll blow
David Tepper ain’t much of a man
Ass crack it really stinks shit show
David Tepper ain’t much, David Tepper ain’t much
David Tepper ain’t much of a man
That rich faggot is so queer
I’d really like to kill
He’s such a pussy and a cunt
His quarterback is so fucked up
He has a Down Syndrome

Has a tiny mushroom cock to blow
The owner is a clown bozo
And Stormy Daniels gonna wear a thong
‘Cause that porn star’s gonna get it on
His hedge fund’s gonna fuck you too
Gonna dump his drink on New Years
That David Tepper ain’t much of a man

Reprise

That David Tepper ain’t much of a man
A mushroom tiny cock to blow
David Tepper ain’t much of a man
The Panthers are a real shit show
David Tepper ain’t much, David Tepper ain’t much
David Tepper ain’t much, David Tepper ain’t much
David Tepper ain’t much of a man
Their losing record ain’t pretend
Sgt. Pepper's one and only Lonely Hearts Club Band
Their coaching staff he won’t defend
David Tepper ain’t much, David Tepper ain’t much
David Tepper ain’t much of a man

Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
The Beatles

It was twenty years ago today
When Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play
They've been going in and out of style
But they're guaranteed to raise a smile
So let me introduce to you
The man you've known for all these years
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

We're Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
We hope you will enjoy the show
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
Sit back and let the evening go
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely, Sgt. Pepper's Lonely
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
It's wonderful to be here
It's certainly a thrill
You're such a lovely audience
We'd like to take you home with us
We'd love to take you home

I don't really want to stop the show
But I thought you might like to know
That the singer's going to sing a song
And he wants you all to sing along
So let me introduce to you
The one and only Billy Shears
And Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

Reprise

We're Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
We hope you have enjoyed the show
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
We're sorry, but it's time to go
Sgt. Pepper's lonely, Sgt. Pepper's lonely
Sgt. Pepper's lonely, Sgt. Pepper's lonely
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
We'd like to thank you once again
Sgt. Pepper's one and only Lonely Hearts Club Band
It's getting very near the end
Sgt. Pepper's lonely, Sgt. Pepper's lonely
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

Since 1990, Paul McCartney has played the Burgh a grand total of 6 times.  And once with The Beatles back in '64 when I was -6 years old.

Paul McCartney:

2-12-90, Riverfront Coliseum, Cincinnati, OH

4–29-02, Gund Arena, Cleveland, OH

8-18-10, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA

7-7-14, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA

The Big Lie 100: (#1436)

#2216.  For Trump (Her Strut --- Bob Seger)

#2217.  Mark Green (Green Beans --- Animal Collective)

#2218.  Song For The Trumped (Song For The Dumped --- Ben Folds Five)

#2219.  Trumped (Chumped --- Joyce Manor)

#2220.  Lahmeyer (Desire --- U2)

#2221.  Trumper (Kiss --- Strutter)

#2222.  Prolapse Stain: Forty-Five (Morning Train: Nine To Five --- Sheena Easton)

#2223.  Strong (Wrong --- Lindsey Buckingham)

#2224.  Gilberry (Hail Mary --- Alice Cooper)

#2225.  Perry's Pissed (Cherry Twist --- Crystal Method)

#2226.  Go Musk Yourself (Go Fuck Yourself --- Two Feet)

#2227.  Perry (Cherry - U.F.O.)

#2228.  Strong Is A Clown (Wrong Side Of Town)

#2229.  Trumpy Little Bitch And Cunt (Crazy Little Thing Called Love --- Queen)

#2230.  Gilberry (Hail Mary --- Testament)

#2231.  Christian Ziegler (Sister Christian --- Night Ranger)

#2232.  Forty-Five (9 to 5 --- Dolly Parton)

#2233.  Tesla Sucks (Thunderstruck --- AC/DC)

#2234.  5K (Birthday --- Paul McCartney)

#2235.  Florida State Got Fuckin' Screwed (Overweight But Over You)

#2236.  Kennedy (Ecstasy --- PJ Harvey)

#2237.  Mr. Kevin Cramer (Mr. Entertainer --- Men At Work)

#2238.  Kennedy (Faithfully --- Journey)

#2239.  Strong (Wrong --- Waylon Jennings)

#2240.  DeNiro (My Hero --- Foo Fighters)

#2241.  Swift (Rift --- Phish)

#2242.  Tay Tay Tay (Say Say Say --- Michael Jackson & Paul McCartney)

#2243.  Travis (Krampus --- Houndmouth)

#2244.  Strong's Gay (Wrong Way --- Creed)

#2245.  Hostetter (Shoplifter --- Green Day)

#2246.  Donald Trump Is An Orange Clown (London Bridge Is Falling Down --- Cocomelon)

#2247.  Donald Trump Is A Retard (Twinkle Twinkle Little Star --- Olivia Newton-John)

#2248.  Bland Is A Cunt (Band On The Run --- Paul McCartney)

#2249.  Kennedy (Destiny --- Journey)

#2250.  Dictator (Heartbreaker --- Pat Benatar)

#2251.  Kenneth Paxton (Love Boat Captain)

#2252.  The Digital Mugshot Edition (To Defy The Laws Of Tradition --- Primus)

#2253.  Trump Tower (Sunflower --- Neil Diamond)

#2254.  Kid Rock Will Dine (I Walk The Line --- Johnny Cash)

#2255.  Playin' The Browns (Send In The Clowns --- Barbara Streisand)

#2256.  Foxmania (Albania --- Nicholas Colasanto / Cheers Episode)

#2257.  Guy Reschenthaler (Dollar For Dollar --- They Might Be Giants)

#2258.  Reschenthaler (Dollar, Dollar --- PJ Harvey)

#2259.  Kid's Cock (We Rock --- Dio)

#2260.  Reschenthaler (Greenback Dollar --- Woody Guthrie)

#2261.  It's Hunter's Laptop From Hell (I Think I'm Going To Hell --- My Morning Jacket)

#2262.  Laptop Hell (Silver Bells --- Dean Martin)

#2263.  Good!  (Would? --- Alice In Chains)

#2264.  The Tower Of Trump (The Power Of Love --- Huey Lewis & The News)

#2265.  Good Times (Good Times --- Jim Gilstrap, Blinky Williams and a gospel choir)

#2266.  Laptop From Hell (Highway To Hell --- AC/DC)

#2267.  Colby Covington (You Are Number One --- The Whispers)

#2268.  If Bob Good (If I Could --- Phish)

#2269.  Moreno (Tornado --- Garbage)

#2270.  Cum Coney Barrett (Come Holy Spirit --- Planetshakers)

#2271.  Coney Barrett Cum (Holy Spirit Come --- Hillsong UNITED)

#2272.  Coney Barrett Cum (Holy Spirit Come --- Rita Springer)

#2273.  Coney Barrett (Holy Spirit --- Travis Cottrell)

#2274.  Coney Barrett (Holy Spirit --- Neville Brothers)

#2275.  Kushner's Wife Is A Fucking Jew (All I Want For Christmas Is You --- Mariah Carey)

#2276.  Colorado (Desperado --- The Eagles)

#2277.  Detroit Pistons (Sister Christian --- Night Ranger)

#2278.  Isn't Very White (Couldn't Get It Right --- Climax Blues Band)

#2279.  Rudolph, the Yinzer Steeler (Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer)

#2280.  Big Mac Meat (Shakedown Street --- Grateful Dead)

#2281.  Strong's Gay (Wrong Way --- Sublime)

#2282.  Coney Barrett Cum (Holy Spirit Come --- Nathaniel Bassey)

#2283.  Coney Barrett (Holy Spirit --- Jesus Culture)

#2284.  Robert M. Schneider (I Know You Rider --- Grateful Dead)

#2285.  Rob Schneider (Low Rider --- War)

#2286.  Hunter's Laptop (Hunter's Laptop --- Ariel Pink, Winston Marshall, Alex Trimble)

#2287.  Paxton (Captain --- Ween)

#2288.  Fake Coney Barrett (Shake Holy Spirit --- Newworldson)

#2289.  The Real Chip Roy (The Real McCoy --- George Jones)

#2290.  Trumped (Stumped --- Minor Threat)

#2291.  Kari Lake (Coffee Break --- Tony Bennett)

#2292.  Vincent K. Fong (I Might Be Wrong --- Radiohead)

#2293.  Vincent K. Fong (Don't Get Me Wrong --- The Pretenders)

#2294.  Taylor Greene (Halloween --- King Diamond)

#2295.  Kenneth Paxton (I'm Your Captain --- Grand Fuck Railroad)

#2296.  Kushner Is A Jew (All I Wanna Do --- Sheryl Crow)

#2297.  Boebert (T-Shirt --- Foo Fighters)

#2298.  Fong! (Wrong! --- The Mountain Goats)

#2299.  David Tepper (High Ball Stepper --- Jack White)

#2300.  David Tepper Ain't Much Of A Man (Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band --- The Beatles)

Please do not share this material with David Tepper and/or former President Donald J. Trump.