#1605. Fung

Sometimes a moderate Republican and seemingly normal human being... gets caught up in the zephyr of my parody onslaught.

Great flyer.

Such is the the case with Fung.  Allan Fung!  Nickname "Fungi."

Rest assured, he is not a fun guy.  He was the former mayor of Cranston, Rhode Island.  And recently lost his Congressional race in 2022.

General election for U.S. House Rhode Island District 2

Seth Magaziner defeated Allan Fung and Bill Gilbert in the general election for U.S. House Rhode Island District 2 on November 8, 2022. 

 

		Candidate	%	Votes
✔		Seth Magaziner (D)	50.2	99,369
		Allan Fung (R)	47.0	92,868
		Bill Gilbert (Independent)	2.7	5,352
		Other/Write-in votes	0.1	193

 

 

 

Fung
sonofsaf

He’s Rhode Island shit
Asian queer far and near
Dems ain’t Republicans
Just take a damn poll
Coup d’etat’s an insurrection
Because Donald Trump’s the one
Proud Boys and Oath Keepers come out to play
Bring the treason
Dems are the enemy
Trump is not a king
Jared Kushner’s a Jew
Coup d’etat’s an insurrection
Because Donald Trump’s the one
Proud Boys and Oath Keepers come out to play

Tongue
Butthole Surfers

I can't believe it
Talking to people here
Cowboys and Indians
Have taken control
It really was a wild one
But summer has come and gone
A lot of nice people would fade away
Hold back seasons
Take back the memory
Hold on to something
Better hold on to you
It really was a wild one
But summer has come and gone
A lot of nice people would fade away

Every once in a blue moon, I'll write a parody and not even listen to the original song.  This is one of those times.

Welcome to the Butthole Surfers and their smash hit "Tongue."

Back in 1989, I knew this guy William Schmid at the University of Dayton who was a huge fan of these guys.  He even had a Butthole Surfers tattoo on his butt cheek.  No joke.  

This one time I was at the "Dead House."  A pseudo-frat house in the ghetto,  Long story short, the guys were out of weed.  Bill spotted a caterpillar edging its way across the living room carpet.  He snatched up the caterpillar and crammed it in the bowl of a 3 ft. Graphix bong.

He mumbled, "Fuck it."  Took a mighty hit and exhaled a tiny wisp of smoke.

While coughing, he grabbed a black Sharpie and wrote on the wall... 

"On 10-13-89, Schmid caught a buzz off Carl the Caterpillar."  

I remember the exact date, because later that night, we watched Jerry Garcia and Bob Weir on David Letterman.  #SecondThatEmotion

The Big Lie 100: (#775)

#1417.  Crudite Mode (Holiday Road --- Lindsey Buckingham)

#1418.  Wants Crudite (So Far Away --- Dire Straits)

#1419.  The Crudite (Not Fade Away --- Grateful Dead)

#1420.  Crudite Din (Holiday Inn --- Elton John)

 

#1421.  Tiffany Smiley (Baba O'Riley --- Grateful Dead)

#1422.  Markwayne (Cocaine --- Eric Clapton)

 

#1423.  Coco Elaine (Hello Again --- The Cars)

 

#1424.  Ill Campaigns (Still Remains --- Stone Temple Pilots)

 

#1425.  Crudite (Yesterday --- Paul McCartney)

 

#1426.  Roe Roe Roe Your Vote (Row Row Row Your Vote --- Ella Fitzgerald)

 

#1427.  Tate Reeves (Governor Blows) (Believe (Nobody Knows) --- My Morning Jacket)

 

#1428.  Eatin' Crudite (Surfin' U.S.A. --- Beach Boys)

 

#1429.  Mrs. Smiley (Mr. Smiley --- Poison)

 

#1430.  Mitch McConnell (Old MacDonald --- Unknown)

 

#1431.  Master Is Special (Master Of Puppets --- Metallica) 

#1432.  Crudite (Holiday --- Bee Gees)

 

#1433.  Fucked Up Ass Blake Masters (Fabulous Disaster --- Exodus)

 

#1434.  Mrs. Smiley (Mr. Crowley --- Ozzy Osbourne)

 

#1435.  Talk To Mark Meadows (Walk In The Shadows --- Queensryche)

 

#1436.  Chris Kice (The Price -- Twisted Sister)

#1437.  Crudite (Stay Away --- Nirvana)

#1438.  Crudite (New Year's Day --- U2)

#1439.  One More Crudite Bite (One More Saturday Night --- Grateful Dead)

#1440.  The Crudite's Bad (The Crudite) (Don't Go Away Mad (Just Go Away) --- Motley Crue)

#1441.  Crudite (Say Say Say --- Paul McCartney & Michael Jackson)

#1442.  That Donald Trump Is... (All In The Name Of... Motley Crue)

#1443.  Comer Isn't Very Smart (Owner Of A Lonely Heart --- Yes)

#1444.  Mehmet Oz (Just Because --- Jane's Addiction)

#1445.  A Piece Of Shit From The Start (Total Eclipse Of The Heart --- Bonnie Tyler)

#1446.  J.D. (Lady --- Styx)

#1447.  J.D. Vance (My Romance --- Carly Simon)

#1448.  Donald Trump's Hair (Ya Mo B There --- Michael McDonald)

#1449.  Dixon, Tudor (Touch My Tooter --- Ween)

#1450.  J.D. (Lady --- Little River Band)

#1451.  J.D. Is Gay (Lay Lady Lay --- Bob Dylan)

#1452.  Tudor Dixon (Superstition --- Stevie Wonder)

#1453.  Richard Woods (Harry Hood --- Phish)

#1454.  Woods (Would --- Alice In Chains)

#1455.  Ted Budd (Blackbird --- The Beatles)

#1456.  Budd Is Far Right (Bloody Well Right --- Supertramp)

#1457.  Trump's Strange (La Grange --- ZZ Top)

#1458.  Ashley Kalus (Brokedown Palace --- Grateful Dead)

#1459.  Hung Cao (Right Now --- Van Halen)

#1460.  Hung Cao (Black Cow --- Steely Dan)

#1461.  Scott Jensen (Confusion --- Electric Light Orchestra)

#1462.  Meet Mehmet (Meet The Mets --- Ruth Roberts & Bill Katz)

#1463.  Bolduc (Holed Up --- The Raconteurs)

#1464.  Bolduc's Fucked up (Hold Your Head Up --- Argent)

#1465.  Vance Is A Cunt (Eminence Front --- The Who)

#1466.  Oh Mike Lindell (The First Noel --- Brian Wilson)

#1467.  A Fucking Assclown (The Final Countdown --- Europe)

#1468.  Kim Jong Un Will Fight (Afternoon Delight --- Starland Vocal Band)

#1469.  Majewski's Outta Line (Nobody's Fault But Mine --- Led Zeppelin)

#1470.  I Guess That's Why They Call Him A Jew (I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues --- Elton John)

#1471.  Crudite Plate (Runaway Train --- Soul Asylum)

#1472.  Roger Stone (Danger Zone --- Kenny Loggins)

#1473.  Roger Stone (Danger Zone --- The Ramones)

#1474.  Laxalt (Asshole --- Tom Petty)

#1475.  Trump Is A Bitch (Under The Bridge --- Red Hot Chili Peppers)

#1476.  Mark Meadows Loves Gay Porn (Every Rose Has A Thorn --- Poison)

#1477.  Kim Jong's Illin' (You Be Illin' --- Run DMC)

#1478.  Bad Roger Stone (Bad To The Bone --- George Thorogood & The Destroyers)

#1479.  Burt (Hurt --- Nine Inch Nails)

#1480.  Pate Is A Geek (Eight Days A Week --- The Beatles)

#1481.  Poor Sandy Smith (Poor Ellen Smith --- Billy Strings)

#1482.  Laxalt (Blackout --- Scorpions)

#1483.  Steve J. Scalise (Karma Police --- Radiohead)

#1484. Steve Scalise (Dream Police --- Cheap Trick)

#1485.  Teddy Cruz (Boggie Shoes --- KC & The Sunshine Band)

#1486.  Ronchetti (Black Betty --- Metal Church)

#1487.  Joe O'Dea (Day By Day --- The Hooters)

#1488.  Tommy Tuberville (A View To A Kill --- Duran Duran) 

#1489.  Fuck You Trumpers (All You Zombies --- The Hooters)

#1490.  A. Biggs (War Pigs --- Black Sabbath)

#1491.  Rubio Ga Ga (Radio Ga Ga --- Queen)

#1492.  Moran (Old Man --- Neil Young)

#1493.  Trump's A Liar (Ring Of Fire --- Johnny Cash)

#1494.  Why Does Ivanka Blow (Where Do The Children Go --- The Hooters)

#1495.  Why Why, Gay Gay (Chris Sununu) (My My, Hey Hey (Out Of The Blue) --- Neil Young)

#1496.  Tonight Ivanka Masturbates For You (Tonight I Want To Celebrate With You --- My Morning Jacket)

#1497.  Marco A. Rubio (Turn Up The Radio --- Autograph)

#1498.  Tshibaka (Fuck You) (Axilla (Part II --- Phish)

#1499.  Sinning (Winning --- Santana)

#1500.  Nunes (Jane Says --- Jane's Addiction)

#1501.  (We Don't Want No) Kenneth Paxton (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction --- Rolling Stones)

#1502.  Asshole In Trump Tower... Stinking (Standing In The Shower... Thinking --- Jane's Addiction)

#1503.  Fuck Cooper (The Trooper --- Iron Maiden)

#1504.  Ganahl (Crank Call --- Billy Idol)

#1505.  Bannon (Love Gun --- Kiss)

#1506.  Marco Rubio's A Clown And A Retard (Me And Julio Down By The Schoolyard --- Paul Simon)

#1507.  Paul LePage (Turn The Page --- Bob Seger)

#1508.  The Donald Is Orange Not White (We Only Come Out At Night --- Smashing Pumpkins)

#1509.  Cindy Kirk (Dirty Work --- Steely Dan)

#1510.  Strong And His Mouth (Song Of The South --- Alabama)

#1511.  Clarence Thomas (Mr. Crowley --- Ozzy Osbourne)

#1512.  Jim Marchant (Ants Marching --- Dave Matthews Band)

#1513.  Adam Hinojosa (Champagne Supernova --- Oasis)

#1514.  Acrisure (Immature --- Bjork)

#1515.  Michels The Liar (Trial By Fire --- Testament)

#1516.  Donald's A Liar (Great Balls Of Fire --- Jerry Lee Lewis)

#1517.  Mark Amodei (Carry that Weight --- Paul McCartney)

#1518.  George Logan (War Begun --- My Morning Jacket)

#1519.  Mike DeWine (He's So Fine --- The Chiffons)

#1520.  Connie Scott (Ocelot --- Phish)

#1521.  Colonel Robertson (Mrs. Robisnon --- Paul Simon)

#1522.  Mehmet's A Crudite Fan (We're An American Band --- Rob Zombie)

#1523.  The Liar Bob Burns (The Fire That Burns --- Twisted Sister)

#1524.  Grassley Ass Ass (Blow, Blow, Blow) (Grassy Grass Grass (Grow, Grow, Grow --- Woody Guthrie)

#1525.  Fuck Cory Mills (Run To The Hills --- Iron Maiden)

#1526.  Sununu (Katmandu --- Bob Seger)

#1527.  Josh Brecheen (Hey Nineteen --- Steely Dan)

#1528.  Lombardo (Touch And Go --- The Cars)

#1529.  Gerald Malloy (Seek And Destroy --- Metallica)

#1530.  Ezell (That Smell --- Lynyrd Skynyrd)

#1531.  Die Anus Brenna Bird (Fly Famous Mockingbird --- Phish)

#1532.  I Hope He Dies (DeSantis DeSantis) (As Time Goes By (A Kiss Is Just A Kiss) --- Herman Hupfeld)

#1533.  Sam Peters (Maneater --- Hall & Oates)

#1534.  Houchin Is A Buffoon (Bouncin' Around The Room --- Phish)

#1535.  Brenna Bird (Mockingbird --- Carly Simon)

#1536.  Eli Crane (On A Plain --- Nirvana)

#1537.  Marco Rubio (Sussudio --- Phil Collins) 

#1538.  Dislike Neil Parrott (Smells Like Teen Spirit --- Nirvana)

#1539.  Kirkmeyer (Desire --- U2)

#1540.  Bruce Poliquin (Bad Medicine --- Bon Jovi)

#1541.  Chavez DeRemer (Daydream Believer --- The Monkees)

#1542.  Michelle Steel (Spinning Wheel --- Blood, Sweat & Tears)

#1543.  Ganahl's Gay (Dance Hall Days --- Wang Chung) 

#1544.  Trump (Jump --- Van Halen)

#1545.  Justin Amash (Caught In A Mosh --- Anthrax)

#1546.  Senator Chuck Grassley (Tallahassee Lassie --- Rolling Stones)

#1547.  Omnibus (Magic Bus --- The Who)

#1548.  Bird Whore (3rd Floor --- Death Angel)

#1549.  Fuck Ganahl (Give It All --- Ratt)

#1550.  Heidi Ganahl (I Want It All --- Queen)

#1551.  Aaron Bean (Vasoline --- Stone Temple Pilots)

#1552.  Yum Crudite (Run Runaway --- Slade)

#1553.  Buy The Crudite (Dance The Night Away --- Van Halen)

#1554.  The Crudite (Come Sail Away --- Styx)

#1555.  He's John Cornyn (I Walk The Line --- Johnny Cash)

#1556.  Fuck You  John Cornyn (You Are My Sunshine --- Johnny Cash)

#1557.  Wants The Crudite (Gotta Get Away --- The Offspring)

#1558.  Tuberville (Overkill --- Motorhead)

#1559.  The Crudite (Alice In Chains --- The Crudite)

#1560.  Kushner's A Jew (With Or Without You --- U2)

#1561.  Oz Wants The Crudite (On The Turning Away --- Pink Floyd)

#1562.  So Much Pain (The Big Lie) --- (Morning Train (Nine To Five) --- Sheena Easton)

#1563.  Ganahl (Rag Doll --- Aerosmith)

#1564.  To Scan (The Crudite) (I Ran (So Far Away) --- A Flock Of Seagulls)

#1565.  He'll Buy Crudite (Slip Slidin' Away --- Paul Simon)

#1566.  Lomabrdo (I Don't Know --- Ozzy Osbourne)

#1567.  Miller Hates Science (Killer Of Giants --- Ozzy Osbourne)

#1568.  He's Ye (I'm Free --- The Who)

#1569.  Ye (Free --- Prince)

#1570.  Ye (Free --- Phish)

#1571.  Ye (Free --- Stryper)

#1572.  Ye (Free --- Chicago)

#1573.  Fuentes (Mayonaise --- Smashing Pumpkins)

#1574.  Ye Is Gay (The Hooters --- Day By Day)

#1575.  Trumpy's White (Boogie Nights --- Heatwave)

#1576.  Herschel Walker (Doctor, Doctor --- Iron Maiden)

#1577.  Mike Braun (C'mon --- DEVO)

#1578.  Me And My Pillow (Tears On My Pillow --- Little Anthony & The Imperials)

#1579.  Asshole General Todd Rokita (Back Home Again In Indiana --- Jim Nabors)

#1580.  Ye's A Clown (Lay It Down --- Ratt)

#1581.  Kanye's Name Is Ye (I Want To Break Free --- Queen)

#1582.  Ye Is So Gay (Go Your Own Way --- Fleetwood Mac)

#1583.  Ye Will Fuck You (We Will Rock You --- Queen)

#1584.  Winsome Sears (Wasted Years --- Iron Maiden)

#1585.  Crokin  (Smokin' --- Boston)

#1586.  Crokin' In The Bedroom (Smokin' In The Boys Room --- Motley Crue)

#1587.  Ye Is Gay (Touch Of Grey --- Grateful Dead)

#1588.  Sinema Girl (Cinnamon Girl --- Neil Young)

#1589.  Ye Is Outta Line (Lay It On The Line --- Triumph)

#1590.  Kushner's A Jew (This Note's For You --- Neil Young)

#1591.  His Name Is Kanye (I Want It That Way --- Backstreet Boys)

#1592.  Mike Ezell (Ring My Bell --- Anita Ward)

#1593.  Recep Erdogan (Portland, Oregon --- Loretta Lynn & Jack White)

#1594.  The Crudite (Sing Me Away --- Night Ranger)

#1595.  Greene Is The Enemy (Teenage Lobotomy --- The Ramones)

#1596.  Greene's A Crusty Fucking Pussy (Teenage Nosferatu Pussy --- Rob Zombie)

#1597.  Trump Isn't White (Still Of The Night --- Whitesnake)

#1598.  Mike Ezell (Go To Hell --- Motorhead)

#1599.  Patel (That Smell --- Lynyrd Skynyrd)

#1600.  Prolapse Left A Stain (Crying In The Rain --- Whitesnake)

#1601.  Marjorie Taylor Greene (Welcome To The Machine --- Pink Floyd)

#1602.  Mike Braun (Float On --- Modest Mouse)

#1603.  Donald Trump's A Goon (Trump Trading Cards) (Fly Me To The Moon (In Other Words) --- Frank Sinatra)

#1605.  Fung (Tongue --- Butthole Surfers)

Please do not share this material with Allan Fung and/or former President Donald J. Trump.