Friday, January 06, 2023

#1642. Eli Crane

A few hours ago, incoming Representative-elect Eli Crane (R-AZ) tweeted...



But, uh, this just happened mere minutes before Andy Harris (R-MD) bailed on the "Never Kevins."  So now, all of a sudden, Doogie Harris MD is totally on board with K-Mac.  

I'd like to see Eli Crane organize what's left of his remaining colleagues.  And tweet a "reenactment photo" of this other scene from Braveheart.



Directed at Andy Harris MD, of course.  Stick Boebert in the middle.  Insolent bastard!

In the meantime, here's a few Trump Dumps I spotted on my walk this morning.





May the Dump be with you!

 


 

 

Eli Crane
sonofsaf

Well, I am a sucker, only MAGA for me
He’s been loving the Big Mac clown
Dems the enemy, yeah

Trump is the orange boy wonder
Trump is the person to blame
Trump thought the coup d’etat was gonna be wild

[Chorus:]
Well, Eli Crane [repeat]

Donald Trump isn’t so humble
Well, he’s the Orange Prolapse indeed
Donald Trump’s a fucking fat cunt
Doesn’t drink or smoke weed, yeah

Trump’s very discolored
Trump doesn’t have shame
Trump only cared if the coup d’etat was wild

[Chorus]

Eli Crane [repeat]

I wish that Donald would die real soon
Daughter is a whore
Hakeem Jeffries the new enemy
And Ivanka’s ass is sore

Well, I am a sucker, only MAGA for me
He’s been loving the Big Mac clown
Those Dems the enemy, yeah
Trump is the orange boy wonder
Trump is the person to blame
Trump thought the coup d’etat was gonna be wild

[Chorus]

 

I'm Insane
Ratt

Well, I'm off my rocker, I fell out of my tree
I've been standin' on shaky ground
There's no helping me, yeah

I can't remember my number
I can't remember your name
I can't remember all the trouble I'm in, child

[Chorus:]
Well, I'm insane [repeat]

You don't go looking for trouble
Well, I'm all the trouble you need
You don't go looking for bad love
You got it guaranteed, yeah

I can't see no colors
I can't play your games
I should've listened what my momma said, child

[Chorus]

I'm insane [repeat]

You lock me up in a padded room
Chain me to the floor
Well, I'm headed for lobotomy
And I'm beggin' them for more

Well, I'm off my rocker, I fell outta my tree
I've been standin' on shaky ground
Well, there's no helping me, yeah
I can't remember my number
I can't remember your name
I can't remember all the trouble I'm in, child

[Chorus]




So, Out Of The Cellar or Invasion Of Your Privacy?  Now that's a tough one.  If forced to choose between the two, I'd probably have to flip a coin.  In other news, "Back For More" was one of the most underrated pop-metal songs of the 80's.

I just found out that Stephen Pearcy announced an Ohio date.  But it's in Versailles, just North of Dayton.  So it would be about a 4 1/2 hour trek to see my childhood hero.  My limit on this one would probably be about 2 1/2 hours max.  Just can't do it. 

From 1984 to 2009, Ratt played the Burgh a grand total of 14 times.


Ratt:

7-15-85, Civic Center, Wheeling, WV (opened for Bon Jovi)

2-7-89, Hara Arena, Dayton, OH

1-21-01, The Crossroads, Wheeling, WV (out the crick)

Bobby Blotzer's Ratt Experience:

6-16-16, Jergel's, Warrendale, PA

Stephen Pearcy:

3-23-17, The Kent Stage, Kent, OH


The Big Lie 100: (#807)

#1417.  Crudite Mode (Holiday Road --- Lindsey Buckingham)

#1418.  Wants Crudite (So Far Away --- Dire Straits)

#1419.  The Crudite (Not Fade Away --- Grateful Dead)

#1420.  Crudite Din (Holiday Inn --- Elton John)
 
#1421.  Tiffany Smiley (Baba O'Riley --- Grateful Dead)

#1422.  Markwayne (Cocaine --- Eric Clapton)
 
#1423.  Coco Elaine (Hello Again --- The Cars)
 
#1424.  Ill Campaigns (Still Remains --- Stone Temple Pilots)
 
#1425.  Crudite (Yesterday --- Paul McCartney)
 
#1426.  Roe Roe Roe Your Vote (Row Row Row Your Vote --- Ella Fitzgerald)
 
#1427.  Tate Reeves (Governor Blows) (Believe (Nobody Knows) --- My Morning Jacket)
 
#1428.  Eatin' Crudite (Surfin' U.S.A. --- Beach Boys)
 
#1429.  Mrs. Smiley (Mr. Smiley --- Poison)
 
#1430.  Mitch McConnell (Old MacDonald --- Unknown)
 
#1431.  Master Is Special (Master Of Puppets --- Metallica) 

#1432.  Crudite (Holiday --- Bee Gees)
 
#1433.  Fucked Up Ass Blake Masters (Fabulous Disaster --- Exodus)
 
#1434.  Mrs. Smiley (Mr. Crowley --- Ozzy Osbourne)
 
#1435.  Talk To Mark Meadows (Walk In The Shadows --- Queensryche)
 
#1436.  Chris Kice (The Price -- Twisted Sister)

#1437.  Crudite (Stay Away --- Nirvana)

#1438.  Crudite (New Year's Day --- U2)

#1439.  One More Crudite Bite (One More Saturday Night --- Grateful Dead)

#1440.  The Crudite's Bad (The Crudite) (Don't Go Away Mad (Just Go Away) --- Motley Crue)

#1441.  Crudite (Say Say Say --- Paul McCartney & Michael Jackson)

#1442.  That Donald Trump Is... (All In The Name Of... Motley Crue)

#1443.  Comer Isn't Very Smart (Owner Of A Lonely Heart --- Yes)

#1444.  Mehmet Oz (Just Because --- Jane's Addiction)

#1445.  A Piece Of Shit From The Start (Total Eclipse Of The Heart --- Bonnie Tyler)

#1446.  J.D. (Lady --- Styx)

#1447.  J.D. Vance (My Romance --- Carly Simon)

#1448.  Donald Trump's Hair (Ya Mo B There --- Michael McDonald)

#1449.  Dixon, Tudor (Touch My Tooter --- Ween)

#1450.  J.D. (Lady --- Little River Band)

#1451.  J.D. Is Gay (Lay Lady Lay --- Bob Dylan)

#1452.  Tudor Dixon (Superstition --- Stevie Wonder)

#1453.  Richard Woods (Harry Hood --- Phish)

#1454.  Woods (Would --- Alice In Chains)

#1455.  Ted Budd (Blackbird --- The Beatles)

#1456.  Budd Is Far Right (Bloody Well Right --- Supertramp)

#1457.  Trump's Strange (La Grange --- ZZ Top)

#1458.  Ashley Kalus (Brokedown Palace --- Grateful Dead)

#1459.  Hung Cao (Right Now --- Van Halen)

#1460.  Hung Cao (Black Cow --- Steely Dan)

#1461.  Scott Jensen (Confusion --- Electric Light Orchestra)

#1462.  Meet Mehmet (Meet The Mets --- Ruth Roberts & Bill Katz)

#1463.  Bolduc (Holed Up --- The Raconteurs)

#1464.  Bolduc's Fucked up (Hold Your Head Up --- Argent)

#1465.  Vance Is A Cunt (Eminence Front --- The Who)

#1466.  Oh Mike Lindell (The First Noel --- Brian Wilson)

#1467.  A Fucking Assclown (The Final Countdown --- Europe)

#1468.  Kim Jong Un Will Fight (Afternoon Delight --- Starland Vocal Band)

#1469.  Majewski's Outta Line (Nobody's Fault But Mine --- Led Zeppelin)

#1470.  I Guess That's Why They Call Him A Jew (I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues --- Elton John)

#1471.  Crudite Plate (Runaway Train --- Soul Asylum)

#1472.  Roger Stone (Danger Zone --- Kenny Loggins)

#1473.  Roger Stone (Danger Zone --- The Ramones)

#1474.  Laxalt (Asshole --- Tom Petty)

#1475.  Trump Is A Bitch (Under The Bridge --- Red Hot Chili Peppers)

#1476.  Mark Meadows Loves Gay Porn (Every Rose Has A Thorn --- Poison)

#1477.  Kim Jong's Illin' (You Be Illin' --- Run DMC)

#1478.  Bad Roger Stone (Bad To The Bone --- George Thorogood & The Destroyers)

#1479.  Burt (Hurt --- Nine Inch Nails)

#1480.  Pate Is A Geek (Eight Days A Week --- The Beatles)

#1481.  Poor Sandy Smith (Poor Ellen Smith --- Billy Strings)

#1482.  Laxalt (Blackout --- Scorpions)

#1483.  Steve J. Scalise (Karma Police --- Radiohead)

#1484. Steve Scalise (Dream Police --- Cheap Trick)

#1485.  Teddy Cruz (Boggie Shoes --- KC & The Sunshine Band)

#1486.  Ronchetti (Black Betty --- Metal Church)

#1487.  Joe O'Dea (Day By Day --- The Hooters)

#1488.  Tommy Tuberville (A View To A Kill --- Duran Duran) 

#1489.  Fuck You Trumpers (All You Zombies --- The Hooters)

#1490.  A. Biggs (War Pigs --- Black Sabbath)

#1491.  Rubio Ga Ga (Radio Ga Ga --- Queen)

#1492.  Moran (Old Man --- Neil Young)

#1493.  Trump's A Liar (Ring Of Fire --- Johnny Cash)

#1494.  Why Does Ivanka Blow (Where Do The Children Go --- The Hooters)

#1495.  Why Why, Gay Gay (Chris Sununu) (My My, Hey Hey (Out Of The Blue) --- Neil Young)

#1496.  Tonight Ivanka Masturbates For You (Tonight I Want To Celebrate With You --- My Morning Jacket)

#1497.  Marco A. Rubio (Turn Up The Radio --- Autograph)

#1498.  Tshibaka (Fuck You) (Axilla (Part II --- Phish)

#1499.  Sinning (Winning --- Santana)

#1500.  Nunes (Jane Says --- Jane's Addiction)

#1501.  (We Don't Want No) Kenneth Paxton (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction --- Rolling Stones)

#1502.  Asshole In Trump Tower... Stinking (Standing In The Shower... Thinking --- Jane's Addiction)

#1503.  Fuck Cooper (The Trooper --- Iron Maiden)

#1504.  Ganahl (Crank Call --- Billy Idol)

#1505.  Bannon (Love Gun --- Kiss)

#1506.  Marco Rubio's A Clown And A Retard (Me And Julio Down By The Schoolyard --- Paul Simon)

#1507.  Paul LePage (Turn The Page --- Bob Seger)

#1508.  The Donald Is Orange Not White (We Only Come Out At Night --- Smashing Pumpkins)

#1509.  Cindy Kirk (Dirty Work --- Steely Dan)

#1510.  Strong And His Mouth (Song Of The South --- Alabama)

#1511.  Clarence Thomas (Mr. Crowley --- Ozzy Osbourne)

#1512.  Jim Marchant (Ants Marching --- Dave Matthews Band)

#1513.  Adam Hinojosa (Champagne Supernova --- Oasis)

#1514.  Acrisure (Immature --- Bjork)

#1515.  Michels The Liar (Trial By Fire --- Testament)

#1516.  Donald's A Liar (Great Balls Of Fire --- Jerry Lee Lewis)

#1517.  Mark Amodei (Carry that Weight --- Paul McCartney)

#1518.  George Logan (War Begun --- My Morning Jacket)

#1519.  Mike DeWine (He's So Fine --- The Chiffons)

#1520.  Connie Scott (Ocelot --- Phish)

#1521.  Colonel Robertson (Mrs. Robisnon --- Paul Simon)

#1522.  Mehmet's A Crudite Fan (We're An American Band --- Rob Zombie)

#1523.  The Liar Bob Burns (The Fire That Burns --- Twisted Sister)

#1524.  Grassley Ass Ass (Blow, Blow, Blow) (Grassy Grass Grass (Grow, Grow, Grow --- Woody Guthrie)

#1525.  Fuck Cory Mills (Run To The Hills --- Iron Maiden)

#1526.  Sununu (Katmandu --- Bob Seger)

#1527.  Josh Brecheen (Hey Nineteen --- Steely Dan)

#1528.  Lombardo (Touch And Go --- The Cars)

#1529.  Gerald Malloy (Seek And Destroy --- Metallica)

#1530.  Ezell (That Smell --- Lynyrd Skynyrd)

#1531.  Die Anus Brenna Bird (Fly Famous Mockingbird --- Phish)

#1532.  I Hope He Dies (DeSantis DeSantis) (As Time Goes By (A Kiss Is Just A Kiss) --- Herman Hupfeld)

#1533.  Sam Peters (Maneater --- Hall & Oates)

#1534.  Houchin Is A Buffoon (Bouncin' Around The Room --- Phish)

#1535.  Brenna Bird (Mockingbird --- Carly Simon)

#1536.  Eli Crane (On A Plain --- Nirvana)

#1537.  Marco Rubio (Sussudio --- Phil Collins) 

#1538.  Dislike Neil Parrott (Smells Like Teen Spirit --- Nirvana)

#1539.  Kirkmeyer (Desire --- U2)

#1540.  Bruce Poliquin (Bad Medicine --- Bon Jovi)

#1541.  Chavez DeRemer (Daydream Believer --- The Monkees)

#1542.  Michelle Steel (Spinning Wheel --- Blood, Sweat & Tears)

#1543.  Ganahl's Gay (Dance Hall Days --- Wang Chung) 

#1544.  Trump (Jump --- Van Halen)

#1545.  Justin Amash (Caught In A Mosh --- Anthrax)

#1546.  Senator Chuck Grassley (Tallahassee Lassie --- Rolling Stones)

#1547.  Omnibus (Magic Bus --- The Who)

#1548.  Bird Whore (3rd Floor --- Death Angel)

#1549.  Fuck Ganahl (Give It All --- Ratt)

#1550.  Heidi Ganahl (I Want It All --- Queen)

#1551.  Aaron Bean (Vasoline --- Stone Temple Pilots)

#1552.  Yum Crudite (Run Runaway --- Slade)

#1553.  Buy The Crudite (Dance The Night Away --- Van Halen)

#1554.  The Crudite (Come Sail Away --- Styx)

#1555.  He's John Cornyn (I Walk The Line --- Johnny Cash)

#1556.  Fuck You  John Cornyn (You Are My Sunshine --- Johnny Cash)

#1557.  Wants The Crudite (Gotta Get Away --- The Offspring)

#1558.  Tuberville (Overkill --- Motorhead)

#1559.  The Crudite (Alice In Chains --- The Crudite)

#1560.  Kushner's A Jew (With Or Without You --- U2)

#1561.  Oz Wants The Crudite (On The Turning Away --- Pink Floyd)

#1562.  So Much Pain (The Big Lie) --- (Morning Train (Nine To Five) --- Sheena Easton)

#1563.  Ganahl (Rag Doll --- Aerosmith)

#1564.  To Scan (The Crudite) (I Ran (So Far Away) --- A Flock Of Seagulls)

#1565.  He'll Buy Crudite (Slip Slidin' Away --- Paul Simon)

#1566.  Lomabrdo (I Don't Know --- Ozzy Osbourne)

#1567.  Miller Hates Science (Killer Of Giants --- Ozzy Osbourne)

#1568.  He's Ye (I'm Free --- The Who)

#1569.  Ye (Free --- Prince)

#1570.  Ye (Free --- Phish)

#1571.  Ye (Free --- Stryper)

#1572.  Ye (Free --- Chicago)

#1573.  Fuentes (Mayonaise --- Smashing Pumpkins)

#1574.  Ye Is Gay (The Hooters --- Day By Day)

#1575.  Trumpy's White (Boogie Nights --- Heatwave)

#1576.  Herschel Walker (Doctor, Doctor --- Iron Maiden)

#1577.  Mike Braun (C'mon --- DEVO)

#1578.  Me And My Pillow (Tears On My Pillow --- Little Anthony & The Imperials)

#1579.  Asshole General Todd Rokita (Back Home Again In Indiana --- Jim Nabors)

#1580.  Ye's A Clown (Lay It Down --- Ratt)

#1581.  Kanye's Name Is Ye (I Want To Break Free --- Queen)

#1582.  Ye Is So Gay (Go Your Own Way --- Fleetwood Mac)

#1583.  Ye Will Fuck You (We Will Rock You --- Queen)

#1584.  Winsome Sears (Wasted Years --- Iron Maiden)

#1585.  Crokin  (Smokin' --- Boston)

#1586.  Crokin' In The Bedroom (Smokin' In The Boys Room --- Motley Crue)

#1587.  Ye Is Gay (Touch Of Grey --- Grateful Dead)

#1588.  Sinema Girl (Cinnamon Girl --- Neil Young)

#1589.  Ye Is Outta Line (Lay It On The Line --- Triumph)

#1590.  Kushner's A Jew (This Note's For You --- Neil Young)

#1591.  His Name Is Kanye (I Want It That Way --- Backstreet Boys)

#1592.  Mike Ezell (Ring My Bell --- Anita Ward)

#1593.  Recep Erdogan (Portland, Oregon --- Loretta Lynn & Jack White)

#1594.  The Crudite (Sing Me Away --- Night Ranger)

#1595.  Greene Is The Enemy (Teenage Lobotomy --- The Ramones)

#1596.  Greene's A Crusty Fucking Pussy (Teenage Nosferatu Pussy --- Rob Zombie)

#1597.  Trump Isn't White (Still Of The Night --- Whitesnake)

#1598.  Mike Ezell (Go To Hell --- Motorhead)

#1599.  Patel (That Smell --- Lynyrd Skynyrd)

#1600.  Prolapse Left A Stain (Crying In The Rain --- Whitesnake)

#1601.  Marjorie Taylor Greene (Welcome To The Machine --- Pink Floyd)

#1602.  Mike Braun (Float On --- Modest Mouse)

#1603.  Donald Trump's A Goon (Trump Trading Cards) (Fly Me To The Moon (In Other Words) --- Frank Sinatra)

#1605.  Fung (Tongue --- Butthole Surfers)

#1607.  Donald's Thing (Little Wing --- Jimi Hendrix)

#1608.  We Want Harmeet (We Got The Beat --- Go-Go's)

#1609.  Fuller Figure (Father Figure --- George Michaels)

#1610.  Harmeet (Love Street --- The Doors)

#1611.  He Used To Tweet (We Got The Beat --- Go-Go's)

#1612.  Kari Lake (Cups And Cakes --- Spinal Tap)

#1613.  Donald Is Gay (Y.M.C.A. --- The Village People) (blocked for violation of community standards)

#1614.  Divine Insurrection (Divine Intervention --- Slayer)

#1615.  Meuser (Loser --- Grateful Dead)

#1616.  New York's George Santos (Me And My Shadow --- Frank Sinatra & Sammy Davis Jr.)

#1617.  Andrew Clyde (Cyanide --- Metallica)

#1618.  Andrew Clyde (Saigon Bride --- Joan Baez)

#1619.  Andrew Clyde G. (Glorified G --- Pearl Jam)

#1620.  Andrew Clyde (When You Died --- Violent Femmes)

#1621.  Donald Is Gay (Help On The Way --- Grateful Dead)

#1622.  Trump  is Very Gay (Help Is On It's Way --- Little River Band)

#1623.  Andrew Clyde (Mama Tried --- Grateful Dead)

#1624.  Abbott (Habit --- Pearl Jam)

#1625.  Santos Is Scum (Under My Thumb --- Rolling Stones)

#1626.  Harmeet Dhillon (You Be Illin' --- Run DMC)

#1627.  Spreads The Big Lie (As Tears Go By --- Rolling Stones)

#1628.  Harmeet Harmeet (Heartbeat Heartbeat --- The Eurythmics)

#1631.  Victor Bout (Substitute --- The Who)

#1633.  Hope Hicks (Chopsticks --- Euphemia Allen)

#1634.  Kevin Is A Dumb Whore (Knockin' On Heaven's Door --- Bob Dylan)

#1635.  Kevin's Very Upset (Seven Years In Tibet --- David Bowie)

#1636.  Kevin Learns (Seven Turns --- Allman Brothers Band)

#1637.  Kevin (Heaven --- Rolling Stones)

#1638.  Kevin (Heaven --- Warrant)

#1639.  Kevin  (Session --- Linkin' Park) 

#1640.  Kevin Is Slow (Seven Below --- Phish)

#1641.  Josh Brecheen (Tangerine --- Led Zeppelin)

#1642.  Eli Crane (I'm Insane --- Ratt)


Please do not share this material with Eli Crane and/or former President Donald J. Trump.



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