Saturday, January 07, 2023

#1644. Kevin

In light of his recent victory, I think newly elected Speaker Kevin McCarthy deserves a viral sex scandal. 

Something along the lines of the Orange Prolpase (Trump), in a Moscow hotel room, with the Russian hookers, and the urine...

Butt instead, let's go with the official House gavel, 

and the Congressional Anus of Matt Gaetz (R-FL), and some filthy accusations of non-consensual sodomy.


You can almost squeeze the testicular build-up.

 

The "act" likely transpired in a dank, secret tunnel, far below the U.S. Capitol.

Hey, trust me.  I know what I'm talkin' about.  Back in the early 90's, an angry teen HUD girl from Wheeling Station besmirched  me... "Talk to the wrist, 'cause the fist is pissed!"

My response 30 years later?  "Kevin wants ass, but Matt has gas."

 


 

Kevin
sonofsaf

Trump was planning
An insurrection and coup attack
Faking and demanding
The support of an Orange Prolapse
Trump’s so fucked up
Jesus and the Gods, will fuck us too
The Proud boys usurp us
And the Oath Keepers keep fucking you

Send him money and don’t ask why
Achieving less his battle cry.

I choose Kevin - I choose Kevin
I choose Kevin!

He needed to win
But it wasn’t fun, or any good
The GOP and their admiration
Chopped off his manhood
Don’t discourage
That crooked devil in disguise
Cause he’s not okay
It’s Forty Five and he tells big lies

I choose Kevin - depression
I choose Kevin - I choose Kevin!

I choose Kevin - affection
I choose Kevin
I choose Kevin - depression
Affection - I choose Kevin!

 

 

Heaven
Stryper

I am standing
Even though I've been to hell and back
Taking off and landing
With my heart in place and faith in tact
I won't give up
Even though the odds, they tell me to
I'm here with a purpose
Every word I say and thing I do

My destiny will never die
I'll never guess or wonder why

I choose heaven - I choose heaven
I choose heaven!

This world spins
Every deed that's done, misunderstood
At times it's a no-win situation
To defend what's good
It takes courage
To look the devil in the eyes
And say "get away"
I can see right through your cheap disguise

I choose heaven - confession
I choose heaven - I choose heaven!

I choose heaven - accession
I choose heaven
I choose heaven - confession
Accession - I choose heaven!



From 1985 to 2016, Stryper played the Burgh a grand total of 8 times.  More importantly, they've played Jergel's out in Warrendale on 3 occasions (2018, 2019, & 2022).  For some undogly reason, Jergel's isn't defined as "part of Pittsburgh" on the setlist.fm website.  For the love of Dog!  The Warrendale exit's less than 20 minutes from dahntahn!  

Jergel's should count dog-vomit! (dag-nammit)  

I've never seen Stryper in concert.  And the odds of being swept away in a yellow and black attack continue to  dwindle with every passing year.


From what I've heard on the streets, this mini-triangular Trump Dump has been deemed "scalene and lackluster."


The Big Lie 100: (#809)

#1417.  Crudite Mode (Holiday Road --- Lindsey Buckingham)

#1418.  Wants Crudite (So Far Away --- Dire Straits)

#1419.  The Crudite (Not Fade Away --- Grateful Dead)

#1420.  Crudite Din (Holiday Inn --- Elton John)
 
#1421.  Tiffany Smiley (Baba O'Riley --- Grateful Dead)

#1422.  Markwayne (Cocaine --- Eric Clapton)
 
#1423.  Coco Elaine (Hello Again --- The Cars)
 
#1424.  Ill Campaigns (Still Remains --- Stone Temple Pilots)
 
#1425.  Crudite (Yesterday --- Paul McCartney)
 
#1426.  Roe Roe Roe Your Vote (Row Row Row Your Vote --- Ella Fitzgerald)
 
#1427.  Tate Reeves (Governor Blows) (Believe (Nobody Knows) --- My Morning Jacket)
 
#1428.  Eatin' Crudite (Surfin' U.S.A. --- Beach Boys)
 
#1429.  Mrs. Smiley (Mr. Smiley --- Poison)
 
#1430.  Mitch McConnell (Old MacDonald --- Unknown)
 
#1431.  Master Is Special (Master Of Puppets --- Metallica) 

#1432.  Crudite (Holiday --- Bee Gees)
 
#1433.  Fucked Up Ass Blake Masters (Fabulous Disaster --- Exodus)
 
#1434.  Mrs. Smiley (Mr. Crowley --- Ozzy Osbourne)
 
#1435.  Talk To Mark Meadows (Walk In The Shadows --- Queensryche)
 
#1436.  Chris Kice (The Price -- Twisted Sister)

#1437.  Crudite (Stay Away --- Nirvana)

#1438.  Crudite (New Year's Day --- U2)

#1439.  One More Crudite Bite (One More Saturday Night --- Grateful Dead)

#1440.  The Crudite's Bad (The Crudite) (Don't Go Away Mad (Just Go Away) --- Motley Crue)

#1441.  Crudite (Say Say Say --- Paul McCartney & Michael Jackson)

#1442.  That Donald Trump Is... (All In The Name Of... Motley Crue)

#1443.  Comer Isn't Very Smart (Owner Of A Lonely Heart --- Yes)

#1444.  Mehmet Oz (Just Because --- Jane's Addiction)

#1445.  A Piece Of Shit From The Start (Total Eclipse Of The Heart --- Bonnie Tyler)

#1446.  J.D. (Lady --- Styx)

#1447.  J.D. Vance (My Romance --- Carly Simon)

#1448.  Donald Trump's Hair (Ya Mo B There --- Michael McDonald)

#1449.  Dixon, Tudor (Touch My Tooter --- Ween)

#1450.  J.D. (Lady --- Little River Band)

#1451.  J.D. Is Gay (Lay Lady Lay --- Bob Dylan)

#1452.  Tudor Dixon (Superstition --- Stevie Wonder)

#1453.  Richard Woods (Harry Hood --- Phish)

#1454.  Woods (Would --- Alice In Chains)

#1455.  Ted Budd (Blackbird --- The Beatles)

#1456.  Budd Is Far Right (Bloody Well Right --- Supertramp)

#1457.  Trump's Strange (La Grange --- ZZ Top)

#1458.  Ashley Kalus (Brokedown Palace --- Grateful Dead)

#1459.  Hung Cao (Right Now --- Van Halen)

#1460.  Hung Cao (Black Cow --- Steely Dan)

#1461.  Scott Jensen (Confusion --- Electric Light Orchestra)

#1462.  Meet Mehmet (Meet The Mets --- Ruth Roberts & Bill Katz)

#1463.  Bolduc (Holed Up --- The Raconteurs)

#1464.  Bolduc's Fucked up (Hold Your Head Up --- Argent)

#1465.  Vance Is A Cunt (Eminence Front --- The Who)

#1466.  Oh Mike Lindell (The First Noel --- Brian Wilson)

#1467.  A Fucking Assclown (The Final Countdown --- Europe)

#1468.  Kim Jong Un Will Fight (Afternoon Delight --- Starland Vocal Band)

#1469.  Majewski's Outta Line (Nobody's Fault But Mine --- Led Zeppelin)

#1470.  I Guess That's Why They Call Him A Jew (I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues --- Elton John)

#1471.  Crudite Plate (Runaway Train --- Soul Asylum)

#1472.  Roger Stone (Danger Zone --- Kenny Loggins)

#1473.  Roger Stone (Danger Zone --- The Ramones)

#1474.  Laxalt (Asshole --- Tom Petty)

#1475.  Trump Is A Bitch (Under The Bridge --- Red Hot Chili Peppers)

#1476.  Mark Meadows Loves Gay Porn (Every Rose Has A Thorn --- Poison)

#1477.  Kim Jong's Illin' (You Be Illin' --- Run DMC)

#1478.  Bad Roger Stone (Bad To The Bone --- George Thorogood & The Destroyers)

#1479.  Burt (Hurt --- Nine Inch Nails)

#1480.  Pate Is A Geek (Eight Days A Week --- The Beatles)

#1481.  Poor Sandy Smith (Poor Ellen Smith --- Billy Strings)

#1482.  Laxalt (Blackout --- Scorpions)

#1483.  Steve J. Scalise (Karma Police --- Radiohead)

#1484. Steve Scalise (Dream Police --- Cheap Trick)

#1485.  Teddy Cruz (Boggie Shoes --- KC & The Sunshine Band)

#1486.  Ronchetti (Black Betty --- Metal Church)

#1487.  Joe O'Dea (Day By Day --- The Hooters)

#1488.  Tommy Tuberville (A View To A Kill --- Duran Duran) 

#1489.  Fuck You Trumpers (All You Zombies --- The Hooters)

#1490.  A. Biggs (War Pigs --- Black Sabbath)

#1491.  Rubio Ga Ga (Radio Ga Ga --- Queen)

#1492.  Moran (Old Man --- Neil Young)

#1493.  Trump's A Liar (Ring Of Fire --- Johnny Cash)

#1494.  Why Does Ivanka Blow (Where Do The Children Go --- The Hooters)

#1495.  Why Why, Gay Gay (Chris Sununu) (My My, Hey Hey (Out Of The Blue) --- Neil Young)

#1496.  Tonight Ivanka Masturbates For You (Tonight I Want To Celebrate With You --- My Morning Jacket)

#1497.  Marco A. Rubio (Turn Up The Radio --- Autograph)

#1498.  Tshibaka (Fuck You) (Axilla (Part II --- Phish)

#1499.  Sinning (Winning --- Santana)

#1500.  Nunes (Jane Says --- Jane's Addiction)

#1501.  (We Don't Want No) Kenneth Paxton (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction --- Rolling Stones)

#1502.  Asshole In Trump Tower... Stinking (Standing In The Shower... Thinking --- Jane's Addiction)

#1503.  Fuck Cooper (The Trooper --- Iron Maiden)

#1504.  Ganahl (Crank Call --- Billy Idol)

#1505.  Bannon (Love Gun --- Kiss)

#1506.  Marco Rubio's A Clown And A Retard (Me And Julio Down By The Schoolyard --- Paul Simon)

#1507.  Paul LePage (Turn The Page --- Bob Seger)

#1508.  The Donald Is Orange Not White (We Only Come Out At Night --- Smashing Pumpkins)

#1509.  Cindy Kirk (Dirty Work --- Steely Dan)

#1510.  Strong And His Mouth (Song Of The South --- Alabama)

#1511.  Clarence Thomas (Mr. Crowley --- Ozzy Osbourne)

#1512.  Jim Marchant (Ants Marching --- Dave Matthews Band)

#1513.  Adam Hinojosa (Champagne Supernova --- Oasis)

#1514.  Acrisure (Immature --- Bjork)

#1515.  Michels The Liar (Trial By Fire --- Testament)

#1516.  Donald's A Liar (Great Balls Of Fire --- Jerry Lee Lewis)

#1517.  Mark Amodei (Carry that Weight --- Paul McCartney)

#1518.  George Logan (War Begun --- My Morning Jacket)

#1519.  Mike DeWine (He's So Fine --- The Chiffons)

#1520.  Connie Scott (Ocelot --- Phish)

#1521.  Colonel Robertson (Mrs. Robisnon --- Paul Simon)

#1522.  Mehmet's A Crudite Fan (We're An American Band --- Rob Zombie)

#1523.  The Liar Bob Burns (The Fire That Burns --- Twisted Sister)

#1524.  Grassley Ass Ass (Blow, Blow, Blow) (Grassy Grass Grass (Grow, Grow, Grow --- Woody Guthrie)

#1525.  Fuck Cory Mills (Run To The Hills --- Iron Maiden)

#1526.  Sununu (Katmandu --- Bob Seger)

#1527.  Josh Brecheen (Hey Nineteen --- Steely Dan)

#1528.  Lombardo (Touch And Go --- The Cars)

#1529.  Gerald Malloy (Seek And Destroy --- Metallica)

#1530.  Ezell (That Smell --- Lynyrd Skynyrd)

#1531.  Die Anus Brenna Bird (Fly Famous Mockingbird --- Phish)

#1532.  I Hope He Dies (DeSantis DeSantis) (As Time Goes By (A Kiss Is Just A Kiss) --- Herman Hupfeld)

#1533.  Sam Peters (Maneater --- Hall & Oates)

#1534.  Houchin Is A Buffoon (Bouncin' Around The Room --- Phish)

#1535.  Brenna Bird (Mockingbird --- Carly Simon)

#1536.  Eli Crane (On A Plain --- Nirvana)

#1537.  Marco Rubio (Sussudio --- Phil Collins) 

#1538.  Dislike Neil Parrott (Smells Like Teen Spirit --- Nirvana)

#1539.  Kirkmeyer (Desire --- U2)

#1540.  Bruce Poliquin (Bad Medicine --- Bon Jovi)

#1541.  Chavez DeRemer (Daydream Believer --- The Monkees)

#1542.  Michelle Steel (Spinning Wheel --- Blood, Sweat & Tears)

#1543.  Ganahl's Gay (Dance Hall Days --- Wang Chung) 

#1544.  Trump (Jump --- Van Halen)

#1545.  Justin Amash (Caught In A Mosh --- Anthrax)

#1546.  Senator Chuck Grassley (Tallahassee Lassie --- Rolling Stones)

#1547.  Omnibus (Magic Bus --- The Who)

#1548.  Bird Whore (3rd Floor --- Death Angel)

#1549.  Fuck Ganahl (Give It All --- Ratt)

#1550.  Heidi Ganahl (I Want It All --- Queen)

#1551.  Aaron Bean (Vasoline --- Stone Temple Pilots)

#1552.  Yum Crudite (Run Runaway --- Slade)

#1553.  Buy The Crudite (Dance The Night Away --- Van Halen)

#1554.  The Crudite (Come Sail Away --- Styx)

#1555.  He's John Cornyn (I Walk The Line --- Johnny Cash)

#1556.  Fuck You  John Cornyn (You Are My Sunshine --- Johnny Cash)

#1557.  Wants The Crudite (Gotta Get Away --- The Offspring)

#1558.  Tuberville (Overkill --- Motorhead)

#1559.  The Crudite (Alice In Chains --- The Crudite)

#1560.  Kushner's A Jew (With Or Without You --- U2)

#1561.  Oz Wants The Crudite (On The Turning Away --- Pink Floyd)

#1562.  So Much Pain (The Big Lie) --- (Morning Train (Nine To Five) --- Sheena Easton)

#1563.  Ganahl (Rag Doll --- Aerosmith)

#1564.  To Scan (The Crudite) (I Ran (So Far Away) --- A Flock Of Seagulls)

#1565.  He'll Buy Crudite (Slip Slidin' Away --- Paul Simon)

#1566.  Lomabrdo (I Don't Know --- Ozzy Osbourne)

#1567.  Miller Hates Science (Killer Of Giants --- Ozzy Osbourne)

#1568.  He's Ye (I'm Free --- The Who)

#1569.  Ye (Free --- Prince)

#1570.  Ye (Free --- Phish)

#1571.  Ye (Free --- Stryper)

#1572.  Ye (Free --- Chicago)

#1573.  Fuentes (Mayonaise --- Smashing Pumpkins)

#1574.  Ye Is Gay (The Hooters --- Day By Day)

#1575.  Trumpy's White (Boogie Nights --- Heatwave)

#1576.  Herschel Walker (Doctor, Doctor --- Iron Maiden)

#1577.  Mike Braun (C'mon --- DEVO)

#1578.  Me And My Pillow (Tears On My Pillow --- Little Anthony & The Imperials)

#1579.  Asshole General Todd Rokita (Back Home Again In Indiana --- Jim Nabors)

#1580.  Ye's A Clown (Lay It Down --- Ratt)

#1581.  Kanye's Name Is Ye (I Want To Break Free --- Queen)

#1582.  Ye Is So Gay (Go Your Own Way --- Fleetwood Mac)

#1583.  Ye Will Fuck You (We Will Rock You --- Queen)

#1584.  Winsome Sears (Wasted Years --- Iron Maiden)

#1585.  Crokin  (Smokin' --- Boston)

#1586.  Crokin' In The Bedroom (Smokin' In The Boys Room --- Motley Crue)

#1587.  Ye Is Gay (Touch Of Grey --- Grateful Dead)

#1588.  Sinema Girl (Cinnamon Girl --- Neil Young)

#1589.  Ye Is Outta Line (Lay It On The Line --- Triumph)

#1590.  Kushner's A Jew (This Note's For You --- Neil Young)

#1591.  His Name Is Kanye (I Want It That Way --- Backstreet Boys)

#1592.  Mike Ezell (Ring My Bell --- Anita Ward)

#1593.  Recep Erdogan (Portland, Oregon --- Loretta Lynn & Jack White)

#1594.  The Crudite (Sing Me Away --- Night Ranger)

#1595.  Greene Is The Enemy (Teenage Lobotomy --- The Ramones)

#1596.  Greene's A Crusty Fucking Pussy (Teenage Nosferatu Pussy --- Rob Zombie)

#1597.  Trump Isn't White (Still Of The Night --- Whitesnake)

#1598.  Mike Ezell (Go To Hell --- Motorhead)

#1599.  Patel (That Smell --- Lynyrd Skynyrd)

#1600.  Prolapse Left A Stain (Crying In The Rain --- Whitesnake)

#1601.  Marjorie Taylor Greene (Welcome To The Machine --- Pink Floyd)

#1602.  Mike Braun (Float On --- Modest Mouse)

#1603.  Donald Trump's A Goon (Trump Trading Cards) (Fly Me To The Moon (In Other Words) --- Frank Sinatra)

#1605.  Fung (Tongue --- Butthole Surfers)

#1607.  Donald's Thing (Little Wing --- Jimi Hendrix)

#1608.  We Want Harmeet (We Got The Beat --- Go-Go's)

#1609.  Fuller Figure (Father Figure --- George Michaels)

#1610.  Harmeet (Love Street --- The Doors)

#1611.  He Used To Tweet (We Got The Beat --- Go-Go's)

#1612.  Kari Lake (Cups And Cakes --- Spinal Tap)

#1613.  Donald Is Gay (Y.M.C.A. --- The Village People) (blocked for violation of community standards)

#1614.  Divine Insurrection (Divine Intervention --- Slayer)

#1615.  Meuser (Loser --- Grateful Dead)

#1616.  New York's George Santos (Me And My Shadow --- Frank Sinatra & Sammy Davis Jr.)

#1617.  Andrew Clyde (Cyanide --- Metallica)

#1618.  Andrew Clyde (Saigon Bride --- Joan Baez)

#1619.  Andrew Clyde G. (Glorified G --- Pearl Jam)

#1620.  Andrew Clyde (When You Died --- Violent Femmes)

#1621.  Donald Is Gay (Help On The Way --- Grateful Dead)

#1622.  Trump  is Very Gay (Help Is On It's Way --- Little River Band)

#1623.  Andrew Clyde (Mama Tried --- Grateful Dead)

#1624.  Abbott (Habit --- Pearl Jam)

#1625.  Santos Is Scum (Under My Thumb --- Rolling Stones)

#1626.  Harmeet Dhillon (You Be Illin' --- Run DMC)

#1627.  Spreads The Big Lie (As Tears Go By --- Rolling Stones)

#1628.  Harmeet Harmeet (Heartbeat Heartbeat --- The Eurythmics)

#1631.  Victor Bout (Substitute --- The Who)

#1633.  Hope Hicks (Chopsticks --- Euphemia Allen)

#1634.  Kevin Is A Dumb Whore (Knockin' On Heaven's Door --- Bob Dylan)

#1635.  Kevin's Very Upset (Seven Years In Tibet --- David Bowie)

#1636.  Kevin Learns (Seven Turns --- Allman Brothers Band)

#1637.  Kevin (Heaven --- Rolling Stones)

#1638.  Kevin (Heaven --- Warrant)

#1639.  Kevin  (Session --- Linkin' Park) 

#1640.  Kevin Is Slow (Seven Below --- Phish)

#1641.  Josh Brecheen (Tangerine --- Led Zeppelin)

#1642.  Eli Crane (I'm Insane --- Ratt)

#1643.  Kevin's Blunders (Seven Wonders --- Fleetwood Mac)

#1645.  Kevin (Heaven --- Stryper)

 

Please do not share this material with Speaker Kevin McCarthy and/or former President Donald J. Trump.



No comments: