#2456. Laken

MTG was "on fire" at last week's State of the Union address.  

As in fire engine red.

SAY HER NAME!  LAKEN RILEY!

Very well.  

Hints of Korn.

(Do not) dump in the shadows --- Billy Idol

A big step for mankind... on the Blvd. of the Allies no less.

 

This admittedly tasteless parody is dedicated to Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA).

 

 

Laken
sonofsaf

Christianity is retarded but alive
Big Mac take a bite McDonald’s is deep fried
1-6 was tragic a bad stampede doncha know
Top secret leaker it’s a classified shit show

She was Laken (oh oh ooo oh
Her name will linger (oh oh ooo oh)
She was beaten ground and pound (oh oh ooo oh)
Riley’s a Laken (oh oh ooo oh)

Trump’s asshole’s stinkin’ butt his toilet is great
Gang violence in Haiti god damn for goodness sake
The big lie is what The Donald denied
Stormy was fakin’ ‘cause all that plastic ain’t right

Laken (oh oh ooo oh)
Her name will linger (oh oh ooo oh)
She was beaten down with ground and pound
Laken (oh oh ooo oh)
Laken (oh oh ooo oh) (oh oh ooo oh)
(oh oh ooo oh) (oh oh ooo oh)

MTG never shuts up
Taylor Greene’s a jag-off
She’s fuckin’ shitty
Ahh yeah

Riley’s fuckin’ baby suckin’ a cock
Now she’s gone from this world and there ain’t no cock to block
She used to drink Bud Light a clown doncha know
At Mar-a-Lago, she had a job to blow

And she's Laken (oh oh ooo oh)
Her name will linger (oh oh ooo oh)
She was beaten ground and pound (oh oh ooo oh)
Oh she's Laken (oh oh ooo oh)

Laken (oh oh ooo oh)
Her name will linger (oh oh ooo oh)
She was beaten like a clown (oh oh oo oh)
Ground and pound and pound (oh oh ooo oh)
That Laken (oh oh ooo oh)

La La La La La La because Laken
La La La La La La because Laken
La La La La La La because Laken
La La La La La La because Laken

 

Shakin'
Eddie Money

Rosanna's daddy had a car she loved to drive
Stole the keys one night and took me for a ride
Turned up the music just as loud as it could go
Blew out the speakers in her daddy's radio

She was shakin' (oh oh ooo oh)
Snappin' her fingers (oh oh ooo oh)
She was movin' round and round (oh oh ooo oh)
That girl was shakin' (oh oh ooo oh)

We started drinkin' wasn't thinkin' too straight
She was doin' 80 and she slammed on the brakes
Got so high we had to pull to the side
Her tits were shakin' 'til the middle of the night

Shakin' (oh oh ooo oh)
Snappin' her fingers (oh oh ooo oh)
She was up and down and round and round
Shakin' (oh oh ooo oh)
Shakin' (oh oh ooo oh) (oh oh ooo oh)
(oh oh ooo oh) (oh oh ooo oh)

I got a little nervous
When she took her coat off
She looked so pretty
Ahh yeah

I'm always talkin' baby talkin' too much
I love that little girl and I just can't get enough
It takes a lonely night with nowhere to go
Just call Rosanna, it's a hell of a show

And she's shakin' (oh oh ooo oh)
Snappin' her fingers (oh oh ooo oh)
She'll be movin' round and round (oh oh ooo oh)
Oh she's shakin' (oh oh ooo oh)

Shakin' (oh oh ooo oh)
Snappin' her fingers (oh oh ooo oh)
She'll be movin' up and down (oh oh oo oh)
Round and round and round (oh oh ooo oh)
And shakin' (oh oh ooo oh)

Sha sha sha sha sha she was shakin'
Sha sha sha sha sha she was shakin'
Sha sha sha sha sha she was shakin'
Sha sha sha sha sha she was shakin'

From 1978 to the present, Eddie Money has stirred and shaken the Burgh a grand total of 12 times.  I recall being at Star Lake in the summer of 2000 when he opened for Styx & REO Speedwagon.  Never went in.  But I did listen outside, at the top of the steps, while simultaneously tailgatin' and scalpin' tickets.

The Big Lie 100: (#1592)

#2216.  For Trump (Her Strut --- Bob Seger)

#2217.  Mark Green (Green Beans --- Animal Collective)

#2218.  Song For The Trumped (Song For The Dumped --- Ben Folds Five)

#2219.  Trumped (Chumped --- Joyce Manor)

#2220.  Lahmeyer (Desire --- U2)

#2221.  Trumper (Kiss --- Strutter)

#2222.  Prolapse Stain: Forty-Five (Morning Train: Nine To Five --- Sheena Easton)

#2223.  Strong (Wrong --- Lindsey Buckingham)

#2224.  Gilberry (Hail Mary --- Alice Cooper)

#2225.  Perry's Pissed (Cherry Twist --- Crystal Method)

#2226.  Go Musk Yourself (Go Fuck Yourself --- Two Feet)

#2227.  Perry (Cherry - U.F.O.)

#2228.  Strong Is A Clown (Wrong Side Of Town)

#2229.  Trumpy Little Bitch And Cunt (Crazy Little Thing Called Love --- Queen)

#2230.  Gilberry (Hail Mary --- Testament)

#2231.  Christian Ziegler (Sister Christian --- Night Ranger)

#2232.  Forty-Five (9 to 5 --- Dolly Parton)

#2233.  Tesla Sucks (Thunderstruck --- AC/DC)

#2234.  5K (Birthday --- Paul McCartney)

#2235.  Florida State Got Fuckin' Screwed (Overweight But Over You --- The Vaselines)

#2236.  Kennedy (Ecstasy --- PJ Harvey)

#2237.  Mr. Kevin Cramer (Mr. Entertainer --- Men At Work)

#2238.  Kennedy (Faithfully --- Journey)

#2239.  Strong (Wrong --- Waylon Jennings)

#2240.  DeNiro (My Hero --- Foo Fighters)

#2241.  Swift (Rift --- Phish)

#2242.  Tay Tay Tay (Say Say Say --- Michael Jackson & Paul McCartney)

#2243.  Travis (Krampus --- Houndmouth)

#2244.  Strong's Gay (Wrong Way --- Creed)

#2245.  Hostetter (Shoplifter --- Green Day)

#2246.  Donald Trump Is An Orange Clown (London Bridge Is Falling Down --- Cocomelon)

#2247.  Donald Trump Is A Retard (Twinkle Twinkle Little Star --- Olivia Newton-John)

#2248.  Bland Is A Cunt (Band On The Run --- Paul McCartney)

#2249.  Kennedy (Destiny --- Journey)

#2250.  Dictator (Heartbreaker --- Pat Benatar)

#2251.  Kenneth Paxton (Love Boat Captain)

#2252.  The Digital Mugshot Edition (To Defy The Laws Of Tradition --- Primus)

#2253.  Trump Tower (Sunflower --- Neil Diamond)

#2254.  Kid Rock Will Dine (I Walk The Line --- Johnny Cash)

#2255.  Playin' The Browns (Send In The Clowns --- Barbara Streisand)

#2256.  Foxmania (Albania --- Nicholas Colasanto / Cheers Episode)

#2257.  Guy Reschenthaler (Dollar For Dollar --- They Might Be Giants)

#2258.  Reschenthaler (Dollar, Dollar --- PJ Harvey)

#2259.  Kid's Cock (We Rock --- Dio)

#2260.  Reschenthaler (Greenback Dollar --- Woody Guthrie)

#2261.  It's Hunter's Laptop From Hell (I Think I'm Going To Hell --- My Morning Jacket)

#2262.  Laptop Hell (Silver Bells --- Dean Martin)

#2263.  Good!  (Would? --- Alice In Chains)

#2264.  The Tower Of Trump (The Power Of Love --- Huey Lewis & The News)

#2265.  Good Times (Good Times --- Jim Gilstrap, Blinky Williams and a gospel choir)

#2266.  Laptop From Hell (Highway To Hell --- AC/DC)

#2267.  Colby Covington (You Are Number One --- The Whispers)

#2268.  If Bob Good (If I Could --- Phish)

#2269.  Moreno (Tornado --- Garbage)

#2270.  Cum Coney Barrett (Come Holy Spirit --- Planetshakers)

#2271.  Coney Barrett Cum (Holy Spirit Come --- Hillsong UNITED)

#2272.  Coney Barrett Cum (Holy Spirit Come --- Rita Springer)

#2273.  Coney Barrett (Holy Spirit --- Travis Cottrell)

#2274.  Coney Barrett (Holy Spirit --- Neville Brothers)

#2275.  Kushner's Wife Is A Fucking Jew (All I Want For Christmas Is You --- Mariah Carey)

#2276.  Colorado (Desperado --- The Eagles)

#2277.  Detroit Pistons (Sister Christian --- Night Ranger)

#2278.  Isn't Very White (Couldn't Get It Right --- Climax Blues Band)

#2279.  Rudolph, the Yinzer Steeler (Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer)

#2280.  Big Mac Meat (Shakedown Street --- Grateful Dead)

#2281.  Strong's Gay (Wrong Way --- Sublime)

#2282.  Coney Barrett Cum (Holy Spirit Come --- Nathaniel Bassey)

#2283.  Coney Barrett (Holy Spirit --- Jesus Culture)

#2284.  Robert M. Schneider (I Know You Rider --- Grateful Dead)

#2285.  Rob Schneider (Low Rider --- War)

#2286.  Hunter's Laptop (Hunter's Laptop --- Ariel Pink, Winston Marshall, Alex Trimble)

#2287.  Paxton (Captain --- Ween)

#2288.  Fake Coney Barrett (Shake Holy Spirit --- Newworldson)

#2289.  The Real Chip Roy (The Real McCoy --- George Jones)

#2290.  Trumped (Stumped --- Minor Threat)

#2291.  Kari Lake (Coffee Break --- Tony Bennett)

#2292.  Vincent K. Fong (I Might Be Wrong --- Radiohead)

#2293.  Vincent K. Fong (Don't Get Me Wrong --- The Pretenders)

#2294.  Taylor Greene (Halloween --- King Diamond)

#2295.  Kenneth Paxton (I'm Your Captain --- Grand Fuck Railroad)

#2296.  Kushner Is A Jew (All I Wanna Do --- Sheryl Crow)

#2297.  Boebert (T-Shirt --- Foo Fighters)

#2298.  Fong! (Wrong! --- The Mountain Goats)

#2299.  David Tepper (High Ball Stepper --- Jack White)

#2300.  David Tepper Ain't Much Of A Man (Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band --- The Beatles)

#2301.  Vince Fong (Love Song --- The Cure) 

#2302.  Mar-a-Lago Piece Of Shit (American Idiot --- Green Day)

#2303.  American Hate (It's Gonna Be Great --- McCormick Spices commercial)

#2304.  Liar (Higher --- Creed)

#2305.  Emmer Feud (Interlude --- The Killers)

#2306.  The Donald Ain't White: An Orange Masquerade (The Future's So Bright: I Gotta Wear Those Shades --- Timbuk 3)

#2307.  Vince Fong (Mike's Song --- Phish)

#2308.  Taylor Greene (Halloween --- The Misfits)

#2309.  Craig Riedel's A Fuckin' Cunt (Needle And The Damage Done --- Neil Young)

#2310.  Colorado (El Dorado --- Agent Orange)

#2311.  Emmer Yes-Man (Enter Sandman --- Metallica)

#2312.  MAGA Johnson (Mrs. Johnson --- Toto)

#2313.  Boeing Joke (Blowing Smoke --- Taylor Ray Holbrook feat. DJ KO)

#2314.  Boeing Had A Door That Was Bad (Goin' Down The Road Feelin' Bad --- Grateful Dead)

#2315.  Craig Riedel Lies (The Needle Lies --- Queensryche) 

#2316.  Austin's Cancer (Private Dancer --- Tina Turner)

#2317.  Pink Hat Lady (Green Eyed Lady --- Sugarloaf)

#2318.  Pink Hatted Lady (Three Times A Lady --- Lionel Richie)

#2319.  Steve Doocy (Loose Lucy --- Grateful Dead)

#2320.  Nancy Mace (In My Place --- Coldplay)

#2321.  Nancy Mace (A Warm Place --- Nine Inch Nails)

#2322.  John Barrasso (She's A Rainbow --- Rolling Stones)

#2323.  Babbitt's Whiter (Rabbit Fighter --- T. Rex)

#2324.  Nancy Ruth Mace (Amazing Grace --- Chris Tomlin)

#2325.  Nancy Mace (Basket Case --- Green Day)

#2326.  God Made Donald Trump For You (God Gave Rock and Roll To You --- Kiss)

#2327.  Jeffrey Landry (Dirty Laundry --- Don Henley)

#2328.  Nancy Mace (Outer Space --- Red Hot Chili Peppers)

#2329.  Risch (Wish --- Nine Inch Nails)

#2330.  Vivekkk (Redneckkk --- Corrosion of Conformity)

#2331.  Donald Shit Show (Cold Rain & Snow --- Grateful Dead)

#2332.  Vivek Shitshow (Redneck Freakshow --- Saliva)

#2333.  Donald Trump's A Very Shitty Christian (Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas --- Frank Sinatra)

#2334.  Donald Is A Clown And His Asshole's Sore (I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For --- U2)

#2335.  Nikki (Piggy --- Nine Inch Nails)

#2336.  Mace (Grace --- Supergrass)

#2337.  Nikki Haley (Kansas City --- Grateful Dead)

#2338.  God Made Trump (Garbage Dump --- Charles Manson)

#2339. Mar-A-Lago Delusional (America The Beautiful --- Willie Nelson & Neil Young)

#2340.  Friendly Crudite (Send Me On My Way --- Rusted Root)

#2341.  Dave McCormick's Toilet Stall (Another Brick In The Wall --- Pink Floyd)

#2342.  The AFC Is Gay (God Bless The U.S.A. --- Lee Greenwood)

#2343.  Chris T. Sununu (Lonely Avenue --- Taj Mahal)

#2344.  Tomasetti (Joshua Tree --- Limbo)

#2345.  Risch Is A Queer (Wish You Were Here --- Pink Floyd)

#2346.  Good Crimes Bad Crimes (Good Times Bad Times --- Led Zeppelin)

#2347.  Humphrey (I'm Free --- The Who)

#2348.  Birdbrain (Train, Train --- Dolly Parton)

#2349.  Birdbrain: Trump Dumbshit (Big Train: From Memphis --- John Fogerty)

#2350.  Nancy Mace (Fireplace --- REM)

#2351.  Nancy Mace (Time & Place --- Queens Of The Stone Age)

#2352.  Nancy Is A Mace Muff Diver (Jerry Is A Race Car Driver --- Primus)

#2353.  Nancy Mace (Human Race --- Three Days Grace)

#2354.  Nancy Mace (Hiding Place --- Don Moen)

#2355.  Foxx Crevasses (Cocks 'n' Asses --- Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds)

#2356.  Navarro (Tomorrow --- Barbra Streisand)

#2357.  Navarro's Wrong (Tomorrow's Song --- Phish)

#2358.  Tomasetti (Joshua Tree --- Carly Rae Jepsen)

#2359.  Vince McMahon (Superman --- R.E.M.)

#2360.  Vince McMahon Fucked Janel Grant (When A Man Loves A Woman --- Michael Bolton)

#2361.  DeWit (Do It --- Neil Diamond)

#2362.  Swift Is A Cunt (Lifted By Love --- k.d. lang)

#2363.  Vince McMahon (Nowhere Man --- The Beatles)

#2364.  Nancy Mace (Off Your Face --- My Bloody Valentine)

#2365.  Shit On Nancy Mace (Grinnin' In Your Face --- Son House)

#2366.  Swift (Lift --- Hillsong UNITED)

#2367.  Congresswoman Beth Van Duyne (Jesus Is On That Main Line --- Aerosmith)

#2368.  James P. Lankford (Off The Record --- My Morning Jacket)

#2369.  Taylor Swift (The Best Gift --- Barbra Streisand)

#2370.  A Swiftie Cunt (A Gift Of Love --- Olivia Newton John w/ Barry Manilow)

#2371.  Not White, The Orange Prolapse Is Fucking You (Tonight, I Celebrate My Love For You --- Roberta Flack & Peabo Bryson)

#2372.  Viktor Orban (Beast Of Burden --- Rolling Stones)

#2373.  Pick Up The Feces (Pick Up the Pieces --- Average White Band)

#2374.  Stormy Romancer (Music Box Dancer --- Frank Mills)

#2375.  Lies (Rise --- Herb Alpert)

#2376.  Ivanka (Cecelia --- Paul Simon)

#2377.  Bitch Mike (Hitch Hike --- Rolling Stones)

#2378.  Mike Johnson (Mike Tyson --- Ginuwine)

#2379.  Nipplegate (Celebrate --- Three Dog Night)

#2380.  Donald Trump Is So Fucked Up (Never Gonna Give You Up --- Rick Astley)

#2381.  'Vanka's A Jew (Into the Groove --- Madonna)

#2382.  Viktor Orban (Wicked Garden --- Stone Temple Pilots)

#2383.  Mike Gill (Free Will --- Rush)

#2384.  Shawn Fein (Airplane --- Rusted Root)

#2385.  Donald's A Cunt (All Out Of Love --- Air Supply)

#2386.  Trump's A Cunt (Burning Up --- Madonna)

#2387.  He's A Piece Of Shit (Give A Little Bit --- Supertramp)

#2388.  Taylor A. Swift (Love Is A Gift --- Olivia Newton-John)

#2389.  Donald Trump's A Clown (You Should Know By Now --- Ratt)

#2390.  Tim Scott (Too Hot --- Kool & The Gang)

#2391.  Gina (Gina --- Blues Traveler)

#2392.  Shithead Lara (Think Of Laura --- Christopher Cross)

#2393.  Tim Sheehy (Honesty --- Billy Joel)

#2394.  Lara (Laura --- Frank Sinatra)

#2395.  She's Congresswoman Nancy Mace (We Gotta Get Out Of This Place --- The Animals)

#2396.  And I Hate Her (And I Love Her --- The Beatles)

#2398.  Donald Trump (Do The Rump --- The Black Keys)

#2399.  Queer Trump It's Raining Men (Here Comes The Rain Again --- The Eurythmics)

#2400.  Donald's A Cunt (Glory Of Love --- Peter Cetera)

#2401.  Conaway (Holiday --- Scorpions)

#2402.  Trumpin' 'n Dumpin' (Humpin' Pumpkin --- Modest Mouse)

#2403.  Michael Bost (Coast To Coast --- Scorpions)

#2404.  Hur's A Cunt (Stir It Up --- Bob Marley)

#2405.  Bost (Ghost --- Pearl Jam)

#2406.  Joe Manchin (Slow Dancin' --- Chaka Kahn & Rick James)

#2407.  Never Surrender Sneakers (Those Damned Blue-Collar Tweekers --- Primus)

#2408.  Donald's Sneakers (Blow Your Speakers --- Manowar)

#2409.  Donald's Sneakers (Hi-Heel Sneakers --- Rolling Stones)

#2410.  Trump Sneakers (Bad Sneakers --- Steely Dan)

#2411.  #45 (#41 --- Dave Matthews Band)

#2412.  Andy Barr (Movie Star --- Cracker)

#2413.  Andy Barr (Superstar --- The Carpenters)

#2414.  Navarro (Tomorrow --- America)

#2415.  Liz Case (Drumz > Space --- Grateful Dead)

#2416.  A Pair Of Gold Sneakers (A Pair Of Old Sneakers --- George Jones & Tammy Wynette)

#2417.  Trump Activist LaCivita (Don't Cry For Me Argentina --- Madonna)

#2418.  Kerwin (Cold Gin --- Kiss)

#2419.  Rubio (Rodeo --- Motley Crue)

#2420.  Chap Cain (Cocaine --- Eric Clapton)

#2421.  Chap Cain (The Chain --- Fleetwood Mac)

#2422.  Shapiro (My Hero --- Foo Fighters)

#2423.  I.V.F. (S.M.F. --- Twisted Sister)

#2424.  Fucking Cunt (Lotta Love --- Neil Young)

#2425.  Cain (Stain --- Nirvana)

#2426.  Stormy's Big Tits (Stormy Pinkness --- They Might Be Giants)

#2427.  Stormy Bradley (Stormy May Day --- AC/DC)

#2428.  Hickland (Quicksand --- Incubus)

#2429.  Enemy Lies (Ebony Lies --- Bob Welch)

#2430.  Hickland (Quicksand --- A Flock Of Seagulls)

#2431.  Boebert (Love Hurts - Nazareth)

#2432.  Scott Perry (Oh, Sherrie --- Steve Perry)

#2433.  Randy Fine (Frankenstein --- Phish)

#2434.  Rubio (Rodeo --- Joan Osborne)

#2435.  Fine (Shine --- Collective Soul)

#2436.  Trump Is Bad (God Is Good --- Don Moen)

#2437.  Trump's An Infection Of The Yeast (God Bless The Children Of The Beast --- Motley Crue)

#2438.  Trump Fucked America (God Bless America --- Violent Femmes)

#2439.  Trump's A Fraud (Metal Gods --- Judas Priest)

#2440.  Robinson's A Fucking Cunt (Carry On My Wayward Son --- Kansas)

#2441.  Super Tuesday (Ruby Tuesday --- Rolling Stones)

#2442.  Erin Hawley Shithead (Holly Jolly Chirstmas --- Harry Connick Jr.)

#2443.  Boebert (T-Shirt --- Foo Fighters)

#2444.  Trump Sneakers (The Seeker --- The Who)

#2445.  Trump's Bullshit (God's Got It --- Old Crow Medicine Show)

#2446.  Vince Fong (Bird Song --- Grateful Dead)

#2447.  LaLota (Zooropa --- U2)

#2448.  Your Trumper Sneakers (Your Nashville Sneakers)

#2449.  Katie Britt (I Love It --- Icona Pop)

#2450.  Britt Fuck (Shit Luck --- Modest Mouse)

#2451.  U Ain't Shit (Katie Britt --- GWAR)

#2452.  Britt Is White (Hit The Lights --- Metallica)

#2453.  Youngkin (Truckin' --- Grateful Dead)

#2454.  Ralph E. Reed Fuckin' Creep (Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap)

#2455.  Reed (Breed --- Nirvana)

#2456.  Laken (Shakin' --- Eddie Money)

Please do not share this information with the family of Laken Riley and/or former President Donald J. Trump.