#2473. Jared Kushner's A Jew

I know a few things about Jared Kushner:  

1.  He's a Jew.

2.  Nobody likes him.  He has no close friends.

3.  He feels extremely uncomfortable speaking before the press and large crowds.  

4.  Him and his wife Cunt Dump (Ivanka) have made a concerted effort to distance themselves from the Orange Prolapse.

NOW is the time to strike.  If I were the DNC, I'd leak a narrative that Trump is desperately trying to get the $454 million bond from his son-in-law.  And that Jared is absolutely incensed.  Why?  Because he's furious that Donald is purposely making horrible, consequential financial decisions in order to fire up the MAGA base.  Donald's deliberately squandering Ivanka's inheritance.  Jared's kids are being financially punished for the imbecilic behavior and transgressions of daddy.  E. Jean Carroll, Stormy Daniels, and all the infinite legal bills, bribes, and pay-offs.  It will never end.  Broke Don.

This narrative makes sense.  And to be honest, I'm almost certain it's factual.  You don't need to be a fly on the wall here.  Just use common sense.

Divide and conquer.  Force Jared Kushner into the spotlight.  A social media post won't cut it.  Eventually, he'd be forced to field questions or it'll never be put to rest.  Most importantly, it shines undesirable attention on the shady 2 billion dollar hedge fund investment he got from the Saudis.

This shit's designed to linger... much like a Trump Dump.  

I know, I know.  Those are some pretty uninspired Dumps.

So try this one on for size...

Spring is here.  And so are the Bridge Dumps.

An upscale Heinz Hall Dump in the Theater District.

Allow me to reiterate, with Trump's half billion dollar bond coming due tomorrow in New York, NOW is the time to strike.  America deserves a front row seat... as the extended Trump family descends into absolute chaos.  Push the Jared/Ivanka divorce narrative too.  Get everyone in the media to start saying "Jared!"  Trump went to Jared.

 

Jared Kushner’s a Jew
sonofsaf

A cunt
Donald Trump is a turd and cunt
He’s gonna stop the steal that cunt
His turds will leave a stain

Fuckin’ cunt
His Be Best shittin’ wife’s demands
‘Cause he is the king of scam
Pissing clown they all defend

Stupid Jew
Big Macs indeed til the end
McDonald’s a gluttonous sin
Pink slime’s kosher too, Ivanka chews her own cud

Fuckin’ you
Jared Kushner’s a Jew
A fraud who’s stupid too
Jared Kushner’s a Jew
Ivanka’s thong for you
Kushner’s a damn Jew

A cunt
Four more years you’ll have to endure
Trump’s so fucked up and there’s no cure
Trump train your ride’s never free

Wears Depends
Shit you’ll have to pray and defend
Orange Prolapse I don’t recommend
To kiss his fat ass in the end

Ivanka
Wife-daughter committing crime
McDonald’s is full of pink slime
Forty-five is gay ‘O say can you fuckin’ see

Fuckin’ you
Jared Kushner’s a Jew
A fraud who’s stupid too
Jared Kushner’s a Jew
Ivanka’s thong for you
Jew

 

You Make Me Feel Brand New
The Stylistics

My love
I'll never find the words my love
To tell you how I feel my love
Mere words could not explain

Precious love
You held my life within your hands
Created everything I am
Taught me how to live again

Only you
Cared when I needed a friend
Believed in me through thick and thin
This song is for you, filled with gratitude and love

God bless you
You make me feel brand new
For God blessed me with you
You make me feel brand new
I sing this song 'cause you
Make me feel brand new

My love
Whenever I was insecure
You built me up and made me sure
You gave my pride back to me

Precious friend
With you I'll always have a friend
You're someone who I can depend
To walk a path that sometimes bends

Without you
Life has no meaning or rhyme
Like notes to a song out of time
How can I repay you for having faith in me

God bless you
You make me feel brand new
For God blessed me with you
You make me feel brand new
I sing this song for you
You

This parody is admittedly atrocious.  Some songs just weren't meant for the process.

According to my cursory research, The Stylistics have never performed in the Burgh.  Never seen 'em.

The Big Lie 100: (#1609)

#2216.  For Trump (Her Strut --- Bob Seger)

#2217.  Mark Green (Green Beans --- Animal Collective)

#2218.  Song For The Trumped (Song For The Dumped --- Ben Folds Five)

#2219.  Trumped (Chumped --- Joyce Manor)

#2220.  Lahmeyer (Desire --- U2)

#2221.  Trumper (Kiss --- Strutter)

#2222.  Prolapse Stain: Forty-Five (Morning Train: Nine To Five --- Sheena Easton)

#2223.  Strong (Wrong --- Lindsey Buckingham)

#2224.  Gilberry (Hail Mary --- Alice Cooper)

#2225.  Perry's Pissed (Cherry Twist --- Crystal Method)

#2226.  Go Musk Yourself (Go Fuck Yourself --- Two Feet)

#2227.  Perry (Cherry - U.F.O.)

#2228.  Strong Is A Clown (Wrong Side Of Town)

#2229.  Trumpy Little Bitch And Cunt (Crazy Little Thing Called Love --- Queen)

#2230.  Gilberry (Hail Mary --- Testament)

#2231.  Christian Ziegler (Sister Christian --- Night Ranger)

#2232.  Forty-Five (9 to 5 --- Dolly Parton)

#2233.  Tesla Sucks (Thunderstruck --- AC/DC)

#2234.  5K (Birthday --- Paul McCartney)

#2235.  Florida State Got Fuckin' Screwed (Overweight But Over You --- The Vaselines)

#2236.  Kennedy (Ecstasy --- PJ Harvey)

#2237.  Mr. Kevin Cramer (Mr. Entertainer --- Men At Work)

#2238.  Kennedy (Faithfully --- Journey)

#2239.  Strong (Wrong --- Waylon Jennings)

#2240.  DeNiro (My Hero --- Foo Fighters)

#2241.  Swift (Rift --- Phish)

#2242.  Tay Tay Tay (Say Say Say --- Michael Jackson & Paul McCartney)

#2243.  Travis (Krampus --- Houndmouth)

#2244.  Strong's Gay (Wrong Way --- Creed)

#2245.  Hostetter (Shoplifter --- Green Day)

#2246.  Donald Trump Is An Orange Clown (London Bridge Is Falling Down --- Cocomelon)

#2247.  Donald Trump Is A Retard (Twinkle Twinkle Little Star --- Olivia Newton-John)

#2248.  Bland Is A Cunt (Band On The Run --- Paul McCartney)

#2249.  Kennedy (Destiny --- Journey)

#2250.  Dictator (Heartbreaker --- Pat Benatar)

#2251.  Kenneth Paxton (Love Boat Captain)

#2252.  The Digital Mugshot Edition (To Defy The Laws Of Tradition --- Primus)

#2253.  Trump Tower (Sunflower --- Neil Diamond)

#2254.  Kid Rock Will Dine (I Walk The Line --- Johnny Cash)

#2255.  Playin' The Browns (Send In The Clowns --- Barbara Streisand)

#2256.  Foxmania (Albania --- Nicholas Colasanto / Cheers Episode)

#2257.  Guy Reschenthaler (Dollar For Dollar --- They Might Be Giants)

#2258.  Reschenthaler (Dollar, Dollar --- PJ Harvey)

#2259.  Kid's Cock (We Rock --- Dio)

#2260.  Reschenthaler (Greenback Dollar --- Woody Guthrie)

#2261.  It's Hunter's Laptop From Hell (I Think I'm Going To Hell --- My Morning Jacket)

#2262.  Laptop Hell (Silver Bells --- Dean Martin)

#2263.  Good!  (Would? --- Alice In Chains)

#2264.  The Tower Of Trump (The Power Of Love --- Huey Lewis & The News)

#2265.  Good Times (Good Times --- Jim Gilstrap, Blinky Williams and a gospel choir)

#2266.  Laptop From Hell (Highway To Hell --- AC/DC)

#2267.  Colby Covington (You Are Number One --- The Whispers)

#2268.  If Bob Good (If I Could --- Phish)

#2269.  Moreno (Tornado --- Garbage)

#2270.  Cum Coney Barrett (Come Holy Spirit --- Planetshakers)

#2271.  Coney Barrett Cum (Holy Spirit Come --- Hillsong UNITED)

#2272.  Coney Barrett Cum (Holy Spirit Come --- Rita Springer)

#2273.  Coney Barrett (Holy Spirit --- Travis Cottrell)

#2274.  Coney Barrett (Holy Spirit --- Neville Brothers)

#2275.  Kushner's Wife Is A Fucking Jew (All I Want For Christmas Is You --- Mariah Carey)

#2276.  Colorado (Desperado --- The Eagles)

#2277.  Detroit Pistons (Sister Christian --- Night Ranger)

#2278.  Isn't Very White (Couldn't Get It Right --- Climax Blues Band)

#2279.  Rudolph, the Yinzer Steeler (Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer)

#2280.  Big Mac Meat (Shakedown Street --- Grateful Dead)

#2281.  Strong's Gay (Wrong Way --- Sublime)

#2282.  Coney Barrett Cum (Holy Spirit Come --- Nathaniel Bassey)

#2283.  Coney Barrett (Holy Spirit --- Jesus Culture)

#2284.  Robert M. Schneider (I Know You Rider --- Grateful Dead)

#2285.  Rob Schneider (Low Rider --- War)

#2286.  Hunter's Laptop (Hunter's Laptop --- Ariel Pink, Winston Marshall, Alex Trimble)

#2287.  Paxton (Captain --- Ween)

#2288.  Fake Coney Barrett (Shake Holy Spirit --- Newworldson)

#2289.  The Real Chip Roy (The Real McCoy --- George Jones)

#2290.  Trumped (Stumped --- Minor Threat)

#2291.  Kari Lake (Coffee Break --- Tony Bennett)

#2292.  Vincent K. Fong (I Might Be Wrong --- Radiohead)

#2293.  Vincent K. Fong (Don't Get Me Wrong --- The Pretenders)

#2294.  Taylor Greene (Halloween --- King Diamond)

#2295.  Kenneth Paxton (I'm Your Captain --- Grand Fuck Railroad)

#2296.  Kushner Is A Jew (All I Wanna Do --- Sheryl Crow)

#2297.  Boebert (T-Shirt --- Foo Fighters)

#2298.  Fong! (Wrong! --- The Mountain Goats)

#2299.  David Tepper (High Ball Stepper --- Jack White)

#2300.  David Tepper Ain't Much Of A Man (Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band --- The Beatles)

#2301.  Vince Fong (Love Song --- The Cure) 

#2302.  Mar-a-Lago Piece Of Shit (American Idiot --- Green Day)

#2303.  American Hate (It's Gonna Be Great --- McCormick Spices commercial)

#2304.  Liar (Higher --- Creed)

#2305.  Emmer Feud (Interlude --- The Killers)

#2306.  The Donald Ain't White: An Orange Masquerade (The Future's So Bright: I Gotta Wear Those Shades --- Timbuk 3)

#2307.  Vince Fong (Mike's Song --- Phish)

#2308.  Taylor Greene (Halloween --- The Misfits)

#2309.  Craig Riedel's A Fuckin' Cunt (Needle And The Damage Done --- Neil Young)

#2310.  Colorado (El Dorado --- Agent Orange)

#2311.  Emmer Yes-Man (Enter Sandman --- Metallica)

#2312.  MAGA Johnson (Mrs. Johnson --- Toto)

#2313.  Boeing Joke (Blowing Smoke --- Taylor Ray Holbrook feat. DJ KO)

#2314.  Boeing Had A Door That Was Bad (Goin' Down The Road Feelin' Bad --- Grateful Dead)

#2315.  Craig Riedel Lies (The Needle Lies --- Queensryche) 

#2316.  Austin's Cancer (Private Dancer --- Tina Turner)

#2317.  Pink Hat Lady (Green Eyed Lady --- Sugarloaf)

#2318.  Pink Hatted Lady (Three Times A Lady --- Lionel Richie)

#2319.  Steve Doocy (Loose Lucy --- Grateful Dead)

#2320.  Nancy Mace (In My Place --- Coldplay)

#2321.  Nancy Mace (A Warm Place --- Nine Inch Nails)

#2322.  John Barrasso (She's A Rainbow --- Rolling Stones)

#2323.  Babbitt's Whiter (Rabbit Fighter --- T. Rex)

#2324.  Nancy Ruth Mace (Amazing Grace --- Chris Tomlin)

#2325.  Nancy Mace (Basket Case --- Green Day)

#2326.  God Made Donald Trump For You (God Gave Rock and Roll To You --- Kiss)

#2327.  Jeffrey Landry (Dirty Laundry --- Don Henley)

#2328.  Nancy Mace (Outer Space --- Red Hot Chili Peppers)

#2329.  Risch (Wish --- Nine Inch Nails)

#2330.  Vivekkk (Redneckkk --- Corrosion of Conformity)

#2331.  Donald Shit Show (Cold Rain & Snow --- Grateful Dead)

#2332.  Vivek Shitshow (Redneck Freakshow --- Saliva)

#2333.  Donald Trump's A Very Shitty Christian (Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas --- Frank Sinatra)

#2334.  Donald Is A Clown And His Asshole's Sore (I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For --- U2)

#2335.  Nikki (Piggy --- Nine Inch Nails)

#2336.  Mace (Grace --- Supergrass)

#2337.  Nikki Haley (Kansas City --- Grateful Dead)

#2338.  God Made Trump (Garbage Dump --- Charles Manson)

#2339. Mar-A-Lago Delusional (America The Beautiful --- Willie Nelson & Neil Young)

#2340.  Friendly Crudite (Send Me On My Way --- Rusted Root)

#2341.  Dave McCormick's Toilet Stall (Another Brick In The Wall --- Pink Floyd)

#2342.  The AFC Is Gay (God Bless The U.S.A. --- Lee Greenwood)

#2343.  Chris T. Sununu (Lonely Avenue --- Taj Mahal)

#2344.  Tomasetti (Joshua Tree --- Limbo)

#2345.  Risch Is A Queer (Wish You Were Here --- Pink Floyd)

#2346.  Good Crimes Bad Crimes (Good Times Bad Times --- Led Zeppelin)

#2347.  Humphrey (I'm Free --- The Who)

#2348.  Birdbrain (Train, Train --- Dolly Parton)

#2349.  Birdbrain: Trump Dumbshit (Big Train: From Memphis --- John Fogerty)

#2350.  Nancy Mace (Fireplace --- REM)

#2351.  Nancy Mace (Time & Place --- Queens Of The Stone Age)

#2352.  Nancy Is A Mace Muff Diver (Jerry Is A Race Car Driver --- Primus)

#2353.  Nancy Mace (Human Race --- Three Days Grace)

#2354.  Nancy Mace (Hiding Place --- Don Moen)

#2355.  Foxx Crevasses (Cocks 'n' Asses --- Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds)

#2356.  Navarro (Tomorrow --- Barbra Streisand)

#2357.  Navarro's Wrong (Tomorrow's Song --- Phish)

#2358.  Tomasetti (Joshua Tree --- Carly Rae Jepsen)

#2359.  Vince McMahon (Superman --- R.E.M.)

#2360.  Vince McMahon Fucked Janel Grant (When A Man Loves A Woman --- Michael Bolton)

#2361.  DeWit (Do It --- Neil Diamond)

#2362.  Swift Is A Cunt (Lifted By Love --- k.d. lang)

#2363.  Vince McMahon (Nowhere Man --- The Beatles)

#2364.  Nancy Mace (Off Your Face --- My Bloody Valentine)

#2365.  Shit On Nancy Mace (Grinnin' In Your Face --- Son House)

#2366.  Swift (Lift --- Hillsong UNITED)

#2367.  Congresswoman Beth Van Duyne (Jesus Is On That Main Line --- Aerosmith)

#2368.  James P. Lankford (Off The Record --- My Morning Jacket)

#2369.  Taylor Swift (The Best Gift --- Barbra Streisand)

#2370.  A Swiftie Cunt (A Gift Of Love --- Olivia Newton John w/ Barry Manilow)

#2371.  Not White, The Orange Prolapse Is Fucking You (Tonight, I Celebrate My Love For You --- Roberta Flack & Peabo Bryson)

#2372.  Viktor Orban (Beast Of Burden --- Rolling Stones)

#2373.  Pick Up The Feces (Pick Up the Pieces --- Average White Band)

#2374.  Stormy Romancer (Music Box Dancer --- Frank Mills)

#2375.  Lies (Rise --- Herb Alpert)

#2376.  Ivanka (Cecelia --- Paul Simon)

#2377.  Bitch Mike (Hitch Hike --- Rolling Stones)

#2378.  Mike Johnson (Mike Tyson --- Ginuwine)

#2379.  Nipplegate (Celebrate --- Three Dog Night)

#2380.  Donald Trump Is So Fucked Up (Never Gonna Give You Up --- Rick Astley)

#2381.  'Vanka's A Jew (Into the Groove --- Madonna)

#2382.  Viktor Orban (Wicked Garden --- Stone Temple Pilots)

#2383.  Mike Gill (Free Will --- Rush)

#2384.  Shawn Fein (Airplane --- Rusted Root)

#2385.  Donald's A Cunt (All Out Of Love --- Air Supply)

#2386.  Trump's A Cunt (Burning Up --- Madonna)

#2387.  He's A Piece Of Shit (Give A Little Bit --- Supertramp)

#2388.  Taylor A. Swift (Love Is A Gift --- Olivia Newton-John)

#2389.  Donald Trump's A Clown (You Should Know By Now --- Ratt)

#2390.  Tim Scott (Too Hot --- Kool & The Gang)

#2391.  Gina (Gina --- Blues Traveler)

#2392.  Shithead Lara (Think Of Laura --- Christopher Cross)

#2393.  Tim Sheehy (Honesty --- Billy Joel)

#2394.  Lara (Laura --- Frank Sinatra)

#2395.  She's Congresswoman Nancy Mace (We Gotta Get Out Of This Place --- The Animals)

#2396.  And I Hate Her (And I Love Her --- The Beatles)

#2398.  Donald Trump (Do The Rump --- The Black Keys)

#2399.  Queer Trump It's Raining Men (Here Comes The Rain Again --- The Eurythmics)

#2400.  Donald's A Cunt (Glory Of Love --- Peter Cetera)

#2401.  Conaway (Holiday --- Scorpions)

#2402.  Trumpin' 'n Dumpin' (Humpin' Pumpkin --- Modest Mouse)

#2403.  Michael Bost (Coast To Coast --- Scorpions)

#2404.  Hur's A Cunt (Stir It Up --- Bob Marley)

#2405.  Bost (Ghost --- Pearl Jam)

#2406.  Joe Manchin (Slow Dancin' --- Chaka Kahn & Rick James)

#2407.  Never Surrender Sneakers (Those Damned Blue-Collar Tweekers --- Primus)

#2408.  Donald's Sneakers (Blow Your Speakers --- Manowar)

#2409.  Donald's Sneakers (Hi-Heel Sneakers --- Rolling Stones)

#2410.  Trump Sneakers (Bad Sneakers --- Steely Dan)

#2411.  #45 (#41 --- Dave Matthews Band)

#2412.  Andy Barr (Movie Star --- Cracker)

#2413.  Andy Barr (Superstar --- The Carpenters)

#2414.  Navarro (Tomorrow --- America)

#2415.  Liz Case (Drumz > Space --- Grateful Dead)

#2416.  A Pair Of Gold Sneakers (A Pair Of Old Sneakers --- George Jones & Tammy Wynette)

#2417.  Trump Activist LaCivita (Don't Cry For Me Argentina --- Madonna)

#2418.  Kerwin (Cold Gin --- Kiss)

#2419.  Rubio (Rodeo --- Motley Crue)

#2420.  Chap Cain (Cocaine --- Eric Clapton)

#2421.  Chap Cain (The Chain --- Fleetwood Mac)

#2422.  Shapiro (My Hero --- Foo Fighters)

#2423.  I.V.F. (S.M.F. --- Twisted Sister)

#2424.  Fucking Cunt (Lotta Love --- Neil Young)

#2425.  Cain (Stain --- Nirvana)

#2426.  Stormy's Big Tits (Stormy Pinkness --- They Might Be Giants)

#2427.  Stormy Bradley (Stormy May Day --- AC/DC)

#2428.  Hickland (Quicksand --- Incubus)

#2429.  Enemy Lies (Ebony Lies --- Bob Welch)

#2430.  Hickland (Quicksand --- A Flock Of Seagulls)

#2431.  Boebert (Love Hurts - Nazareth)

#2432.  Scott Perry (Oh, Sherrie --- Steve Perry)

#2433.  Randy Fine (Frankenstein --- Phish)

#2434.  Rubio (Rodeo --- Joan Osborne)

#2435.  Fine (Shine --- Collective Soul)

#2436.  Trump Is Bad (God Is Good --- Don Moen)

#2437.  Trump's An Infection Of The Yeast (God Bless The Children Of The Beast --- Motley Crue)

#2438.  Trump Fucked America (God Bless America --- Violent Femmes)

#2439.  Trump's A Fraud (Metal Gods --- Judas Priest)

#2440.  Robinson's A Fucking Cunt (Carry On My Wayward Son --- Kansas)

#2441.  Super Tuesday (Ruby Tuesday --- Rolling Stones)

#2442.  Erin Hawley Shithead (Holly Jolly Chirstmas --- Harry Connick Jr.)

#2443.  Boebert (T-Shirt --- Foo Fighters)

#2444.  Trump Sneakers (The Seeker --- The Who)

#2445.  Trump's Bullshit (God's Got It --- Old Crow Medicine Show)

#2446.  Vince Fong (Bird Song --- Grateful Dead)

#2447.  LaLota (Zooropa --- U2)

#2448.  Your Trumper Sneakers (Your Nashville Sneakers)

#2449.  Katie Britt (I Love It --- Icona Pop)

#2450.  Britt Fuck (Shit Luck --- Modest Mouse)

#2451.  U Ain't Shit (Katie Britt --- GWAR)

#2452.  Britt Is White (Hit The Lights --- Metallica)

#2453.  Youngkin (Truckin' --- Grateful Dead)

#2454.  Ralph E. Reed Fuckin' Creep (Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap)

#2455.  Reed (Breed --- Nirvana)

#2456.  Laken (Shakin' --- Eddie Money)

#2457.  Chinatown (Funkytown --- Joe Biden)

#2458.  Donald Lies (Hungry Lies --- Eric Carmen)

#2459.  Classified Documents In A Garage In Chinatown (Elderly Woman Behind The Counter In A Small Town --- Pearl Jam)

#2460.  Bobb (Slob --- Weezer)

#2461.  Trump's Gonna Blow (God Always Knows --- Beach Boys)

#2462.  Boebert (Pervert --- The Descendants)

#2463.  Moreno (I Don't Know --- Ozzy Osbourne)

#2464.  Reed (Speed --- L.A. Guns)

#2465.  Couy Griffin (Once Bitten --- Peter Tosh)

#2466.  Morrow (Sorrow --- David Bowie)

#2467.  Donald Trump's A Clown (When Love Comes To Town --- U2 & B.B. King)

#2468.  Milley Attacked (Jilly's On Smack --- Primus)

#2649.  Steve Wynn (Locked In --- Judas Priest)

#2650.  Fuckin' Dick Harry Hamm (Electric Uncle Sam --- Primus)

#2651.  Broke Don Fat Ass (Brokedown Palace --- Grateful Dead)

#2652.  Charlie Kirk (Stupid Jerk --- The Angry Samoans)

#2653.  Jared Kushner's A Jew (You Make Me Feel Brand New --- The Stylistics)

Please do not share this information with Jared Kushner and/or former President Donald J. Trump.