sonofsaf: #250. Thee With Sedition

I've never given much consideration to the notion that presidential campaigns actually give "refunds" to their political donors.

In 2020, the Biden campaign and the DNC made roughly 37,000 online refunds, returning $5.6 million.

In 2020, the Trump campaign and the RNC made roughly 530,000 online refunds, returning $64.3 million.

This fundraising technique is known as a "money bomb." Which basically means using any means possible to raise as much money as possible in the shortest amount of time. The most vile case being those little electronic boxes for "unknowingly recurring" donations that get conveniently charged to your credit card. People assume they're getting a limited edition gold or silver dollar featuring the face of the Orange Prolapse. But if you read the fine print in the 3 page long disclaimer section, what you end up getting is multiple recurring charges on your monthly statement.

It's a sad story for all those hard working patriots (a/k/a naive dumbshits) who got totally bilked at the small hands of the master grifter. Hey I thought Trumpy Bear cost $49. But they ended up charging me 5 payments + s/h. My lovable stuffed companion ended up costing me over $250!

As someone on the receiving end of all those email contribution requests, I'd say that at the height of the campaign in September and October it was about a 12:1 ratio (Trump vs. Biden) on a daily basis. I came up with a term for this a while back --- polivangelism. In a nutshell, it's political fundraising on "televangelistic steroids."

With the unabashed explosion of online, nationwide political fundraising, I suspect that during the next election you will see "money bomb" accusations becoming more and more common. The calls for an investigation or mere allegations of fundraising impropriety are an ideal tactic. Especially for high profile Senate candidates who are raising a shit-ton of cash. It's easy. You just "find" some little old lady in an Oregon nursing home, barely surviving on a fixed income/social security, suffering from a variety of chronic ailments... and then her bank account gets emptied out by a wealthy candidate for U.S. Senate on the other side of the country. Conceive your negative attack ad around this specific premise. Wouldn't be too shocked if political ads of this nature popped up in a 2022 high stakes Senate race. Say, Pennsylvania perhaps.

If I was an upstart candidate who's exceeding expectations in the fundraising department (Hint: the guy who married us raised 3.9 million in the first quarter of 2021), I'd take some time and develop a rapid response strategy for this specific type of political attack. A money bomb allegation would be a phenomenal way to neutralize your opponent's biggest advantage. Uh, you know... money.

Thee With Sedition
sonofsaf

Just for what it’s worth
I fear him in the nude
The look on his orange face
He’s such a god damn tool
He fucked us once again
We cannot get along
Connect all of the dots
A fat ass shithead truly never grown
A tweet comes from his phone
We hope he’ll die one day
Asshole who wasn’t gay

What a bitch
What a clown
Always whined in that D.C. town
Never you
Always me
He tweets to all his friends
What a bitch
What a clown
Always whined in that D.C. town
Always me
Never free
So I charge thee with sedition

He lives off all the lies
And drinking diet fizz
Lets others take the fall
The kinda douche he is
We always see his name
On buildings constantly
Tight whities filled with shit
A guilty man we’ll hate beyond the grave
Nobody truly cares
His eyes Big Mac cheesy
Filet ‘O Fish for me

What a bitch
What a clown
Always whined in that D.C. town
Never you
Always me
He tweets to all his friends
What a bitch
What a clown
Always whined in that D.C. town
Always me
Never free
So I charge thee with sedition

What a bitch
What a clown
Always whined in that D.C. town
Never you
Always me
He tweets to all his friends
What a bitch
What a clown
Always whined in that D.C. town

Always me
Never free
So I charge thee with sedition

Never free
Never me
So I dub thee unforgiven

Always me
Never free
So I charge thee with sedition

Always me
Never free
So I charge thee with sedition

Cable TV
I'll cable you
So I charge thee with sedition

Always me
Never free
So I charge thee with sedition

The Unforgiven
Metallica

New blood joins this earth
And quickly he's subdued
Through constant pained disgrace
The young boy learns their rules
With time the child draws in
This whipping boy done wrong
Deprived of all his thoughts
The young man struggles on and on he's known
A vow unto his own
That never from this day
His will they'll take away

What I've felt
What I've known
Never shined through in what I've shown
Never be
Never see
Won't see what might have been
What I've felt
What I've known
Never shined through in what I've shown
Never free
Never me
So I dub thee unforgiven

They dedicate their lives
To running all of his
He tries to please them all
This bitter man he's
Throughout his life the same
He's battled constantly
This fight he cannot win
A tired man they see no longer cares
The old man then prepares
To die regretfully
That old man here's me

What I've felt
What I've known
Never shined through in what I've shown
Never be
Never see
Won't see what might have been
What I've felt
What I've known
Never shined through in what I've shown
Never free
Never me
So I dub thee unforgiven

What I've felt
What I've known
Never shined through in what I've shown
Never be
Never see
Won't see what might have been
What I've felt
What I've known
Never shined through in what I've shown

Never free
Never me
So I dub thee unforgiven

Never free
Never me
So I dub thee unforgiven

You labeled me
I'll label you
So I dub thee unforgiven

Never free
Never me
So I dub thee unforgiven

You labeled me
I'll label you
So I dub thee unforgiven

Never free
Never me
So I dub thee unforgiven