Over the weekend, Steelers cornerback Justin Layne got pulled over on I-90, east of downtown Cleveland, in the middle of the night. He was clocked at 89 in a 60mph. So the 23 year old, driving a Dodge Charger (hint: these cars are cop magnets), got busted for going about 30mph over the speed limit. Then they busted him for a "lone blunt" and "marijuana residue." Apparently, he was driving on a suspended license (should have Ubered) and had an outstanding warrant on another traffic violation (failed to appear in court).
But then the pigs found a loaded glock and it wasn't in its case or holster or whatever. And bingo! There's your felony charge. Kinda surprised they didn't throw in an additional misdemeanor charge for last year's debilitating playoff loss to the Browns. Conspiracy, racketeering, aiding and abetting the hapless Browns n'at.
Dedicated to the Steelers secondary. You guys have really cornered the market on safety.
Justin The Fast Layne
sonofsaf
He had a cornerback plan
East of Cleveland and then some y'all he was Primantilly Yinzer
Cop said whassup and he tried to play so dumb
Tepid warmth of an Iron City
He was filled with trepidation as if he was nude
Had gold but not toothless true but it’s rude
No longer eats Ki Ramen Noodlehead instead
Puppet master master Rooney ain’t got no street cred
Justin the Fast Layne
He was likely smokin’ kind
Justin the Fast Layne
Ripe for taxation football has no shame
There’s no satisfaction the NFL’s to blame
They hang out with the sheeple got the skills to pay the bills
They have the meats at Arby’s the curly fries will thrill
Highway lines have no fear lines from outer space
Pretentious hooker will blow us lick the cum right off her face
Nabbed him for speeding he went through a light
He was too wired to talk shit cop would get fired not write a ticket
Justin the fast Layne
He was likely smokin’ kind
Justin the fast Layne uh-huh
Justin the fast Layne
Chicken wings dinner time
Justin the fast Layne uh-huh
Throttle is churnin’ timing’s the worst
Snoop Doggy was drinkin’ wine 19th’s crime’s not the first
Under arrest maybe then he saw this weapon thing
What’s a Pittsburgh Steeler doin’ with all of this fuckin’ bling
He said call my lawyer think I need some cash
But the lawyer said bail bondsman wake up his fuckin’ ass
McDonald’s pimpin’ on I-90 Big Mac salad got tossed
They didn't know that pig was bein’ a jag off
And it was Justin the fast Layne
He was likely smokin’ kind
Justin the fast Layne
Justin the fast Layne
Chicken wings dinner time
Justin the fast Layne uh huh
Justin the fast Layne
Justin the fast Layne
Life In The Fast Lane
The Eagles
He was a hard headed man
He was brutally handsome y'all she was terminally pretty
She held him up and he held her for ransom
In the heart of the cold cold city
He had a nasty reputation as a cruel dude
They said he was ruthless said he was crude
They had one thing in common they were good in bed
She'd say faster faster the lights are turnin' red
Life in the fast lane
Surely make you lose your mind
Life in the fast lane
Eager for action and hot for the game
The coming attraction the drop of a name
They knew all the right people they took all the right pills
They threw outrageous parties they paid heavily bills
There were lines on the mirror lines on her face
She pretended not to notice she was caught up in the race
Out every evening until it was light
He was too tired to make it she was too tired to fight about it
Life in the fast lane
Surely make you lose your mind
Life in the fast lane uh-huh
Life in the fast lane
Everything all the time
Life in the fast lane uh-huh
Blowin' and burnin' blinded by thirst
They didn't see the stop sign took a turn for the worst
She said listen baby you can hear them engines ring
We've been up and down this highway haven't seen a goddam thing
He said call the doctor think I'm gonna crash
But the doctor say he's comin' you gotta pay him cash
They went rushin' down that freeway messed around and got lost
They didn't know they were just dyin' to get off
And it was life in the fast lane
Surely make you lose your mind
Life in the fast lane
Life in the fast lane
Everything all the time
Life in the fast lane uh huh
Life in the fast lane
Life in the fast lane
The Eagles:
8-15-94, Star Lake Amphitheater, Burgettstown, PA
Please do not share this material with Steelers cornerback Justin Layne and/or anyone with a passing interest in Steelers football.
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