#290. Chauvin

So Derek Chauvin finally removed his mask and spoke.  He chose not to testify.  

Hardly a surprise.  Perhaps if the prosecutors were wholly incompetent.  Hint: they aren't.

Closing arguments are set for Monday.

I gotta be honest.  If Derek "take a knee" Chauvin had taken the stand, it would have been a fascinating/nauseating experiment in high stakes human behavior analytics.  After all, it's the trial of the century.  Would've been tough to beat. Are we talkin' the level a Maury Povich paternity test result?  Uh, no.  Try kickin' it up a notch Emeril Lagasse style.

One of my more spirited parodies.  So let's dedicate it to Chauvin's wife Kellie.  

She ditched him, moved to Florida, and filed for divorce.  Can't say I blame her.  Poor guy.

 

Chauvin
sonofsaf

Carryin’ a heavy load
All my guns and ammo
Pressin’ with my skin George Floyd knows I’m hardcore
Torture is not a sin
Just a matter of who wins
The way I made my bones reminder so hardcore

Mmh, how could all them scold me
I’ll kill your one and only
Go take a flying leap into thin air
Sometimes I take a knee
I’m innocent never guilty
And the time to end your life is drawing near

Niggers I will defend
Humans they all depend
Stealin’ chicken wings I like to settle scores
How could I be a heel? Seriously what’s the deal?
The way I make you squeal reminder so hardcore, mmh
Why do they always scold me
Surgery for all the lonely
And book my open heart
My duty’s not to care
Murder is like the weather
We couldn’t be friends forever
So on Derek Chauvin’s fate we’ll rest instead

Golden
My Morning Jacket

Watchin' a stretch of road
Miles of light explode
Driftin' off a thing I'd never done before
Watchin' a crowd roll in
Out go the lights it begins
A feelin' in my bones I never felt before

Mmh, people always told me
That bars are dark and lonely
And talk is often cheap and filled with air
Sure sometimes they thrill me
But nothin' could ever chill me
Like the way they make the time just disappear

Feelin' you here again
Hot on my skin again
Feelin good a thing I'd never known before
What does it mean to feel? Millions of dreams come real
A feelin' in my soul I'd never felt before, mmh
And you you always told me
No matter how long it holds me
If it falls apart
Or makes us millionaire
You'll be right here forever
We'll go thru this thing together
And on heaven's golden shore we'll lay our heads

 

My Morning Jacket:

5-2-10, Lifestyles Community Pavilion, Columbus, OH
8-27-10, Trib Total Media Amphitheater, Pittsburgh, PA
8-10-11, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA
8-12-12, LC Pavilion, Columbus, OH
8-21-12, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA
6-4-15, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA
6-3-15, State Theatre, Cleveland, OH
7-8-17, Metro Amphitheater, Charlotte, NC
7-9-17 Red Hat Amphitheater, Raleigh, NC

Please do not share this material with Derek Chauvin, Kellie Chauvin, and/or the family members of the late George Floyd.