#332. Stormy Porn

I've always thought the White House press pool should've excoriated Trump on the "this whole Stormy Daniels thing."  Talk about a lay up.

Mr. President... "Do you think the American public, particularly the evangelicals, is ready for a Commander-in-Chief who slept with a porn star while his wife was giving birth to their only son."

Stormy Porn
sonofsaf

You ever had to worry
About a Donald story
Say, 'He who eats baloney’s a pig and all…’

Have you ever faltered
Said, Trump is a piece of shit
He’s a piece of shit, anal breath stay away... away... away'
Yeah, wild.

Kaepernick is kinda kneelin’
Kamala Harris breakin’ ceilin’
Mister of a Drummond
Was good at foster care, wild.
The Orange Prolapse wants to fuck you.
Your shithole’s left in tatters
I’m just glad he’s no more the tweetin’ clown defriend… defriend…
Yeah maybe, defriend… Oh yes.

He ain’t winning
But he’s still out for blood.
Until the crack of dawn.
With a crack that reads insert bone, yes it does.

Trump is still out for blood.
Until the crack of dawn.
With a crack that reads insert bone.

He reads Corinthians Two maybe.
Now he’s begging like a preacher.
Bankruptcies are a shitty, way to go through life.

He knows he ain’t too funny
Goes where the weather is sunny
The Donald Trumper story he’s-a-once again a-doin' crimes, oh yeah.

Trump is still out for blood.
Until the crack of dawn.
With a crack that reads insert bone, yes it does, ah.
Trump is still out for blood.
Until the crack of dawn.
With a crack that, with a crack and
It SAYS INSERT BONE, YEAH!

Daniels’ Stormy porn.
Damn those tits sure grow.
Just don’t squeeze your nipples, woman,
'Cause they’ll spray, yeah...

Kick it...
Trump is still out for blood.
Until the crack of dawn.
With a crack that reads insert bone.
Trump is still out for blood.
Until the crack of dawn.
It's the kind that leaves me.

Baby... I said a cum on, cum on, cum on, cum on, spew it.
I said baby...
Don’t squeeze your nipples, woman...
I'm gonna cum all on you…

Crown of Thorns
Pearl Jam

You ever heard the story
Of Mr. Faded Glory?
Say, 'He who rides the pony must someday fall...'

Talking to my Alter
Said, 'Life is what you make it
And if you make it, death will rest your soul away... away... away'
Yeah, child.

It's a broken kinda feelin'.
She'd have to tie me to the ceiling.
A bad moon's a-comin'
Better say your prayers, child.
I wanna tell you that I love you.
But does it really matter?
I just can't stand to see you draggin' down again... again...
My baby, again... Oh yes.

So I'm singing
This is my kind of love.
It's the kind that moves on.
It's unkind and leaves me alone, yes it does.

This is my kind of love.
It's the kind that moves on.
It's unkind and leaves me alone.

I used to treat you like a lady.
Now you're a substitute teacher.
This bottle's not a pretty, not a pretty sight.

I owe the man some money
So I'm turnin' over, honey.
Say Mr. Faded Glory is-a-once again a-doin' time, oh yeah.

And this is my kind of love.
It's the kind that moves on.
It's unkind and leaves me alone, yes it does, ah.
This is my kind of love.
It's the kind that moves on.
It's unkind and, it's unkind and
It LEAVE ME ALONE, YEAH!

Like a crown of thorns.
It's all who you know.
So don't burn your bridges, woman,
'Cause someday, yeah...

Kick it...
This is my kind of love.
It's the kind that moves on.
It's unkind and leaves me alone.
And this is my kind of love.
It's the kind that moves on.
It's the kind that leaves me.

Baby... I said a come on, come on, come on, come on, do it.
I said baby...
Don't burn you bridges, woman...
I'm gonna come back to you...

Pearl Jam:

8-25-98, Star Lake Amphitheater, Burgettstown, PA
9-5-00, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
9-28-05, PNC Park, Pittsburgh, PA (opened for the Rolling Stones)
6-23-06, Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, PA
10-27-09, Wachovia Spectrum, Philadelphia, PA
10-28-09, Wachovia Spectrum, Philadelphia, PA
5-6-10, Nationwide Arena, Columbus, OH
5-9-10, Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, OH
10-11-13, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA
10-1-14, U.S. Bank Arena, Cincinnati, OH
9-26-15, Central Park, New York City, NY (Global Citizen Festival)
4-28-16, Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, PA
4-29-16, Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, PA

Crown of Thorns was originally written by Mother Love Bone.  But I assure you, the admittedly pornographic elements of my parody are purely a coincidence.

Please do not share this information with Stephanie Cliffords a/k/a Stormy Daniels, former President Donald J. Trump, and/or former First Lady Melania Trump.