#328. Cyber Ninjas

Fascinating to watch how the Floridian Cyber Ninjas have secretly and stealthily invaded a Phoenix arena in a physical attempt to verify democracy.  They're recounting the votes.  And you wouldn't believe "the things" they're finding.  It's unbelievable.  One thing's for certain.  When the "audacious audit" is all said and done, we're gonna find out that the Orange Prolapse actually won the state of Arizona... by a lot!  Startling, eh?  Then, I imagine the Ninjas will dexterously regroup and head to other states where Trump lost by narrow margins.  Next stop on the mercenary express might be neighboring Georgia.

I actually checked their website.  Aside from the curious background pictures of swords and nunchucks, I noticed something unusual.  The company doesn't have a physical address.  Not even a city or P.O. Box.  This company has no headquarters.  The website doesn't mention its number of employees.  Profit and/or revenue?  Nope.  Testimonials from satisfied customers?  Nope.

The most you get is an unconvincing phone number.  941-3-NINJAS.  And a picture of some creepy, masked up, online pedophile.

 

Amazing how the Cyber Ninjas, founded in 2021 of course, managed to acquire such a prestigious contract.  A tribute to their greatness I suppose.  Hey, they're a great company.

Just for the record, Biden defeated McClown by 45,109 votes in the state of Arizona.  I'm assuming the Cyber Ninjas will discover a hidden tranche of Trump votes, probably from a nearby Del Taco dumpster.  But how many votes?  That is the question.  Hmm, I'd lay odds on that figure naturally being 45,110.       

In the interest of competent transparency, you'd think that the Ninjas might be interested in verifying a few other statewide office elections.  But nope.  This select breed of internet warrior only seems to find his/her inspiration and motivation when it comes to the Orange Prolapse.  Silly Ninjas, chad is for kids.

Cyber Ninjas
sonofsaf

Chasin’ votes to taste Stormy Daniels
Best where in the end the votes are few
Cryin’ margin to shave comes with the pitfalls
Stop the cred, stop the steal and choose

Thank you for your crime, Arizona
Thank you for the Gingrich ass of Newt
So I’m gonna exert beyond the pale
Let’s hope they smoke weed and start anew

But come out, come out west Cyber Ninjas
Come out, let’s get wild, fuck you
Come out, come on out, to Maricopa
Rules we’ll rape what have you got to lose

Yeah, I want you to come out, come out west Cyber Ninjas

I want you to come out, come out west Cyber Ninjas
I want you come out, let’s get wild, I beg you
I want you come out, let’s get wild to Maricopa
Rules we’ll rape what have you got to lose

But come out, come out west Cyber Ninjas
Come out, come on out, I beg
Come out, come on west, to Maricopa
Rules we’ll rape what have you got to lose

 

Sweet Virginia
Rolling Stones

Wadin' through the waste stormy winter
And there's not a friend to help you through
Tryin' to stop the waves behind your eyeballs
Drop your reds, drop your greens and blues

Thank you for your wine, California
Thank you for your sweet and bitter fruits
Yes I got the desert in my toenail
And I hid the speed inside my shoe

But come on, come on down Sweet Virginia
Come on, honey child, beg you
Come on, come on down, you got it in ya
Got to scrape the shit right off your shoes

Yeah, I want you to come on, come on down Sweet Virginia

I want you to come on, come on down Sweet Virginia
I want you come on, honey child, I beg you
I want you come on, honey child you got it in you
Got to scrape that shit right off your shoes

But come on, come on down Sweet Virginia
Come on, come on down, I beg
Come on, come on down, you got it in you
Got to scrape that shit right off your shoes 

Rolling Stones:

9-29-94, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA

9-28-05, PNC Park, Pittsburgh, PA

6-20-15, Heinz Field, Pittsburgh, PA

7-4-15, Indianapolis Motor Speedway, Indianapolis, IN

Do not share this information with Cyber Ninjas "principle consultant" Doug Logan, former President Donald J. Trump, and/or anyone who officially oversaw the 2020 election.