Monday, December 14, 2009

Flavor Wave

I watched a new infomercial this morning for a kitchen device. Here's a link to the 6 minute abbreviated version which pretty much covers the basics.

This revolutionary product is known as the Flavor Wave. It's basically a small glass-domed convection oven. Darla Haun, an actress I've never heard of before, serves as the host for our culinary journey. I'm guessing she was a daytime soap star but I really don't know (or care). However, her special guest sidekick is none of the than... drumroll please... 1980's A-Team sensation Mr. T. Darla's in the kitchen and Mr. T busts down the door. A plume of smoking dust permeates the air. Why the rudimentary pyrotechnics - I do not know. Mr. T has been invited over for dinner but apparently doesn't know that he will unwittingly serve as a cook. In this case, a cook's job is to simply throw the food in the Flavor Wave.
This contraption is odd in that it grills, bakes, broils, roasts, and even steams the food. Somehow it just magically knows what to do. Darla pulls out a bounty of frozen meat on a platter. Let's see, there's the standard chicken, steak, burgers but there's also this open container of a bizarre scrambled egg custard. For the life of me, I have absolutely no idea what this yellow gelatinous shit could possibly be.
Mr. T wants to have a medium rare steak so they collectively throw in the meat a potato and a piece of corn. Darla confidently proclaims, "Set it to cook and you're off the hook." This is obviously a spin-off line from the unforgettable "set it and forget it" Ron Popeil rotisserie infomercial. I'll never forget how an inspired Popeil stormed the stage and sprayed that aerosol container on his bald spot.
Mr. T has this disoriented, hapless way of communicating. One second he's carrying on a conversation with Darla. The next second he stares into the camera and has this omniscient authoritarian perspective. He'll make these random comments to nobody - "That's right boys and girls. It's always good to eat our veggies." The poorly edited-in audience doesn't really know when to laugh or applaud. Sometimes there's this unwarranted crowd murmuring that takes place for no apparent reason.
Mr. T uses the "I pity the fool" line a couple times as well. This gets the crowd riled up although it's easy to discern that the studio audience was filmed separately. It seems the writers of the Flavor Wave Infomercial couldn't decide if they wanted a gruff Mr. T or a kinder, gentler Mr. T. So they chose to go with both shades of his personality resulting in a less than dynamic performance.
Mr. T also makes these ill-timed proclamations. Early on when he first encounters the Flavor Wave, he jubilantly looks at the camera and announces, "That's cool!" On another occasion, he stares at some chicken frying in a vat of hot oil and defiantly remarks, "That's disgusting." My point here - the Flavor Wave infomercial writers just really don't seem too inspired. Time and time again, you can see how they must have had to do multiple scene takes. Every scene is very stilted and Mr. T seems way out of his element. He just has this haunting, disjointed delivery. Darla is far more fluent and relaxed.
My only other issue with the Flavor Wavers - they're trying to usher in the end to barbecuing as we know it. Apparently, they see the social experience and merit of outdoor grilling as a waste of time. All you need is this kitchen appliance and you're set. Personally, I prefer the excitement of the grill compared to this domed infrared heating device.
I also came across this 2 minute youtube spoof which pretty much sums up the whole Flavor Wave experience. Enjoy "Flavor Wave Turbo!"


Anonymous said...

Ugg Boots
Wholesale Ugg Boots
Cheap Ugg Boots

ugg boots on sale
uggs outlet
Tall Metallic Ugg Boots

Ugg Classic Mini

Ugg Classic Short

Anonymous said...

Maybe you should have an infomercial with your stovetop grill.

Anonymous said...

It might be the alcohol here but this one made me laugh my ass off from the time Mr. T breaks down the door. Seriously...hilarious! Good job! Stacy

Anonymous said...

Half the time, it looks like his eyes are closed. When he isn't all militant, he comes across as effeminate. I still can't stop watching this! "This is delicious!My taste buds is goin' wild" Stacy