Friday, July 05, 2013

Freedom Run - 2013 Wheeling, WV

I just got back from the annual 5 mile "Freedom Run" in glorious downtown Wheeling.  Finishing time was 43 minutes and change.  Not good, not bad.  Other than the repetitive stench of sewage, I kind of like this race.  It's flat and fast.

Of course, I opted for the usual "race bandit" approach.  The next time there's one of those "Run from the Cops" benefits, I think I'm going to wear my PIGS SUCK t-shirt.

I haven't made it yet but it's a pretty cool design. On the front would be a picture of the infamous pig (of Pink Floyd fame).

Replace that text with "PIGS SUCK"

On the back of the shirt it reads:


... one day.

I also like the AJKAWVNP (Atheist Jewish Kosher Alliance of the West Virginia Northern Panhandle).

Cruised up to Pittsburgh.  Gigi and I hit the downtown fireworks.  Met up with our friends and their daughter on the Roberto Clemente Bridge.  They regaled with some furry stories.  That's right - it's Anthrocon 2013 at the Convention Center and they were staying at the hotel next door.

I suppose this is a good time... or at least the manifestation thereof.  One would think the furries would host their all-star convention when it's a little colder outside.  Maybe October?  Early July in the Burgh is a bit hot and muggy.   Doesn't bode well for the rumored sexual proclivities of the animal-garbed weirdos.  And what about all the fireworks?  Assuming they're immersed in role-playing, wouldn't they all want to go hide in a utility closet or under a bed (nervously shaking and shivering).

Two years ago, Gigi was covering the furries and a "turtle" purposely stomped on her foot during the closing ceremonies (a parade where they march around a conference room).  She was pissed about it.  But I think that upright turtle was probably trying to teach her a lesson - you humans don't belong here.  You're not part of our world!  This is our time to shine.  Leave us alone.  Get the fuck outta here!

If I were a furry, what animal would I choose to emulate?  A wolf, a dog, a fox???  I wouldn't even know how to answer an inquiry of such extravagant douchebaggery and unparalleled dumbshittedness.   

The best part of Anthrocon 2013... it coincided with the final game of the Phillies/Pirates series.  Hordes of Philly fans always show up at PNC Park.  So at least the furries got a taste of some hardcore verbal bashing.   I can hear the Philly fans now as they walk towards the ballpark.  It's an old-school East coast scolding.  "God damn piece-of-shit make-believe mutt.  Get a life you fucking retard rhino.  If I hear that owl "hoot" one more time, I'm gonna give him a smack."  And the best part - the human-morphed animals won't talk back... so that makes the Philly fans even more irate. 

Oddly enough, I had another encounter this morning with Pittsburgh Pirates owner Bob Nutting and talked about the you-know-what.  He was very cordial... just like last time.  But honestly, I think he'd prefer it if we lived in different cities.  He'll smile diplomatically, but in his heart, I know he's thinking "for the love of god, not him again."  And this was only our second encounter.  So until the next time... 

Phillies 6
Pirates 4

Am I the only one who would enjoy witnessing a late season, post all-star break Pirates collapse?  Nope, there's Danno.  Honestly, I have mixed emotions.  It would be cool to see a Bucs playoff game.  But it does go against everything I've been preaching for the last decade or so.  There's just too much energy and talent this year.  I think they make the post season and then likely falter under the high expectations.

Maybe the furries should have a 5K.  Scampering through the streets of the Burgh. It would be a sight to behold.  Sounds like one big furry hot mess.  Finish it up with some kind of "furry orgy."  Put the damn thing on pay-per-view and gross a few million.  I've never ordered a pay-per-view event but I would not be entirely reticent or overtly dismissive.

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