Friday, February 18, 2005

first posting - local restaurant reviews

Since the beginning of time, man has consumed food. I think we can all agree that eating food is a pretty important aspect of our lives. What is truly worrisome is that some people just don't know where to go. There are a variety of local restaurants from which to choose. Some good, most poor, a few atrocious. These reviews will help serve as a guide or primitive template. Let's start with the places that totally suck. I feel that it's far more important to be aware of the restaurants one should avoid rather than the so called "great" places to eat.

The Swing Club - This place is now called Generations and it should be avoided at all costs. The only upside is that at night, it's frequented by a lot of attractive women. But this about where to eat, not who to eat. The service is absolutely miserable. There are enormous "timing gaps" during the meal. You could be quickly escorted to your table and then wait 20 minutes for a glass of water to arrive. Then, my favorite part is how all the food comes at once. The word "appetizer" doesn't make any sense here. Isn't the concept of an appetizer designed to be a "pre-meal" thing? Let's refer to them as just "tizers". All the tizers have dumb names - in fact, I get embarrased just thinking about them. Why can't nachos, just be nachos. Why does it suddenly have to be "nacho grando fiesta" or "superlicious chicken fajitas".
I'm not sure of the exact number of waiters/waitresses, but be aware - they're all bad. Except for one - there is this one brunette waitress. She could possibly be the best waitress in the entire area. In fact, this could be one of the biggest service anomolies in the entire restaurant biz nationwide.
Anyway, the food here SUCKS. Every salad is strictly and rigidly iceberg enforced. The dressings are all beyond crapulence. What's really ironic is that the place is usually packed. This is consistent with the fact that the majority of people who reside in Wheeling are unbelievably ignorant as to what good food is. They eat a steady diet of burgers and fries. Most are actually afraid of seafood (unless of course, it's deep fried shrimp).
So here's the recap...
Service - Unbelievably poor (except for that one anomolous waitress, she is a beacon of hope in a sea of vomit).
Food - beyond that which sucks. Entering a new era of shit.
Cost - somewhat reasonable
Decor - they remodeled the place and it looks spectacular. Sometimes it gets really cold.
Ambience - Fair
One last thought... Every time I go in there I see one of my neighbors. The next time I see her, I will ask her why she frequents the establishment with such Metamucil-like regularity. I will post her response in a future blog. I might even ask her out - though I probably won't post her response.


Ren said...

FYI - I'd avoid ever actually naming where we live, maybe other than WV. Or use last names. (somewhat standard blog protocol)You don't want some ass track you down for what I'm sure, and hoping will often be inscendiary comments. (Inscendiary?)

sonofsaf said...

The correct spelling is incendiary.
I'll avoid using last names but that's about it. Ashcroft ain't the atty. general no more.

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

Подумали с мужем о подарках на день варении младшему сыну, ему 4 года, всевозможные-роботы-конструкторы у него уже есть навалом, он любитмышку Тич. Я выискала типа подобной игрушки, только мишку , кто покупал такого? Стоит покупать? Или порекомендуйте что-нибудь ещё. Не дайте ребенку остаться без гостинца от родителей.

Anonymous said...

Hello. And Bye.