Jarvis Landry parody (Dirty Laundry)

So I went down to the Steelers/Browns game yesterday.  Not much happening.  Tailgating scene was a pathetic joke.  Heinz Field attendance ended up being 5,260.  No tickets, no freebies, no action, no nothing.  Just me and my wine.

But I did see a Jarvis Landry jersey and it got me to thinking.  Jarvis Landry?  Where have I heard that name before?  Where have I heard that syllable progression before?  Oh yeah, Don Henley's solo mega-hit from the early 80's.  Dirty Laundry!  Catchy, unforgettable rhythm.  Easy lyrics for a parody.  

And Saffy thought to himself... so let it be written, let it be done.

JARVIS LANDRY

He makes his living off the N-F-L

Just throw him passes, passes he can sell

Even though the Browns all smell

They love Jarvis Landry

Well, he coulda been a winner, but he wound up here

Factory of sadness, there’s nothing left to fear

Throw a spiral over here

Give us Jarvis Landry

Catch ‘em when they’re low

Catch ‘em when they’re high

Catch ‘em when they’re low

Catch ‘em when they’re high

Catch ‘em when they’re low

Catch ‘em when they’re high

Catch ‘em when they’re low

Catch electrify

We got the Jimmy Haslam owner

Who owns Flyin' J

He can tell you ‘bout his truck stops, pumpin’ gas night and day

We hope some day he’ll go away

Give us Jarvis Landry

Can we call for arbitration?

Is the contract set?

You know, the clowns in the press box have a gambling debt

Post it on the internet

We need Jarvis Landry

(Guitar solo)

Can you smell what Baker's cookin', burnt sauerkraut?

His team, they really stink, has there ever been a doubt?

Still he grabs it on his rout

Eat your Jarvis Landry

Catch ‘em when they’re low

Catch ‘em when they’re high

Catch ‘em when they’re low

Catch ‘em when they’re high

Catch ‘em when they’re low

Catch ‘em when they’re high

Smoke another joint

We could use a bye

Catch ‘em when they’re low

Catch ‘em when they’re high

Catch ‘em when they’re low

Catch ‘em when they’re high

Catch ‘em when they’re low

Catch ‘em when they’re high

Smoke another joint

We could use a bye

Dirty little Brownies

Ugly group of guys

They got their silly little jerseys that look like pumpkin pies

Their coaches do not heed our cries

We love Jarvis Landry

There’s no room for innuendo

Yinz all whine and bitch

When the game is done, they will have dug their own ditch

We all know he’s super rich

Give us Jarvis Landry

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Feel free to share this parody as if it were deceased peoples' clothing.    

Once again, here's the karaoke link.