#3108. Ryan Woods

Meet Ryan Woods a/k/a "Lady MAGA" a/k/a "the loneliest drag queen in Utah."

Woods used to be a Democratic Mormon activist from Salt Lake City.  Butt during the 2016 and 2020 presidential campaigns, "he" discovered his inner Orange Prolapse and jumped on board the Trump Train.

 

A very unusual co-presidential Trump Dump.  Has a certain ping pong effect.  Roberto Clemente Bridge.

 

 

 

Ryan Woods
sonofsaf

MAGA Lady enemy
His name is Ryan if you really care
He’s the token urinary
Mushroom, tiny penis causing despair

Forty-seven’s full of shit
Forty-five jag-off commits adultery
Pornography can be gay
All of his lies and infidelity

He’s Ryan Woods
His cunt ain’t shaved
He’s Ryan Woods
Orange Prolapse hooray
He’s Ryan Woods
Opens mouth wide
He’s Ryan Woods
Tahoe made him cry
Stormy D.

The Donald’s playin’ footsie
Vladimir Putin’s in Ukraine and on the beat
Butt the queers all love Zelenskyy
Donald’s the king of gold toiletry

Coup d’etat crime’s nothing new
Big Mac at fuckin’ McDonald’s with large fries
He’s always clean-shaven and probably inbred
Trump is deified

He’s Ryan Woods
His cunt ain’t shaved
He’s Ryan Woods
Orange Prolapse hooray
He’s Ryan Woods
Opens mouth wide
He’s Ryan Woods
Tahoe made him cry
Stormy D.

Stormy D.’s
Titties
Titties

The Donald’s playin footsie
With a transvestite if you really care

He’s Ryan Woods
His cunt ain’t shaved
He’s Ryan Woods
Orange Prolapse hooray
He’s Ryan Woods
Opens mouth wide
He’s Ryan Woods
Tahoe made him cry
Stormy D.

Damaged Goods
Stabbing Westward

I know you wanna fix me
But I am damaged far beyond repair
I was broken when you met me
And entropy has carried on from there

I tried so hard to hide it
Tried to play it off as eccentricity
But I'm afraid that someday
You'll recognize a cold reality

I'm damaged goods
I can't be saved
I'm damaged goods
To be thrown away
I'm damaged goods
Shattered inside
I'm damaged goods
So don't even try
To save me

I know you wanna save me
Like an orphan that you've rescued off the street
And for years you've tried to shape me
Into something I could never be

And every time I fail you
I could see the disappointment in your eyes
I know your frustration will turn into hatred
Once you've realized

I'm damaged goods
I can't be saved
I'm damaged goods
To be thrown away
I'm damaged goods
Shattered inside
I'm damaged goods
So don't even try
To save me

To save me
Save me
Save me

I know you wanna fix me
But I am fucked up far beyond repair

I'm damaged goods
I can't be saved
I'm damaged goods
To be thrown away
I'm damaged goods
Shattered inside
I'm damaged goods
So don't even try
To save me 

After two decades without a studio release, this song landed in 2022.  If you're a techno-inspired clubber, it ain't too shabby.  Kinda like drinkin' an NIN limited-edition can of Bud Light.

From 1994 to 2001, Stabbing Westward skewered the Burgh a grand total of 6 times.   Never saw 'em

The Big Lie 100: (#2230)

#3000.  Kash (Stash --- Phish)

#3001.  Keith Sonderling (Jesus Is King --- Selah)

#3002.  Bannon (Cannon --- Jack White)

#3003.  Kash (Trash --- New York Dolls)

#3004.  Ashley Moody (Call Of Duty --- Anvil)

#3005.  Kash (Trash --- Silverchair)

#3006.  TikTok (Bangkok --- Destroyer)

#3007.  Michael Vrabel (God Is Able --- Planetshakers)

#3008.  Kristi Lynn Noem (Autumn In Rome --- Tony Bennett)

#3009.  Noem (Rome --- Destroyer)

#3010.  Mulligan's Big Lie (Mulligan's Big Lie --- Lin Manuel Miranda)

#3011.  Kristi Lynn Noem (Under A Dome --- Of Monsters And Men)

#3012.  Hegseth (Macbeth --- Frank Turner & Jon Snodgrass)

#3013.  Trumpin' & Dumpin' (Garden Of Eden --- Ratt)

#3014.  Trumpin' & Dumpin' (Garden Of Eden --- Harem Scarem)

#3015.  Trumpin' & Dumpin' (Garden Of Eden --- Paula Cole)

#3016.  Kristi Noem (Heart Of Rome --- Elvis Presley)

#3017.  Ivanka's A Cunt (Memories Of Love --- Chicago)

#3018.  The J-6 Hostages (Song For The Hostages --- Five For Fighting)

#3019.  Stormy D.'s A Cunt (Memory Of Love --- Elton John)

#3020.  Jeff Van Drew (Thru And Thru --- Rolling Stones)

#3021.  Jeff Van Drew (Not For You --- Pearl Jam)

#3022.  Daniel Ball (Alcohol --- Butthole Surfers)

#3023.  Oath Keeper Rhodes (So Many Roads --- Grateful Dead)

#3024.  Pardon (Garden --- Pearl Jam)

#3025.  Noem Crust (Dome Rust --- Guided by Voices)

#3026.  Trump Dumpin' Rage (The Golden Age --- Cracker)

#3027.  Trumpin' 'n Dumpin' (Garden Of Eden --- Chinchilla)

#3028.  Proud Boys (Bad Boys --- Inner Circle)

#3029.  Guy Reffitt (Forget It --- Rodriguez)

#3030.  Reffitt (Bullshit --- Guttermouth)

#3031.  Oath Keeper Rhodes (So Many Roads --- Joe Bonamassa)

#3032.  Trump Forever (Come Together --- Soundgarden)

#3033.  Trump Trump Trump (Dump Dump Dump --- Urge Overkill)

#3034.  Donald J. Trump's A Clown (Who Can It Be Now --- Men At Work)

#3035.  Proud Boys Will Defile (Bad Boys Running Wild --- Scorpions)

#3036.  Proud Boys (Bad Boys --- Whitesnake)

#3037.  Hegseth (Last Breath --- Low)

#3038.  Trump Wants A Tariff (I Shot The Sheriff --- Bob Marley & The Wailers)

#3039.  A Tariff (The Sheriff --- The Strumbellas)

#3040.  Andrew Kloster (Great Imposter --- The Fleetwoods)

#3041.  Go To Hell / Benjamin Black (Morning Bell / Amnesiac --- Radiohead)

#3042.  Netanyahu (Who's Cheatin' Who --- Alan Jackson)

#3043.  Trump's A Cunt (For Your Love --- The Yardbirds)

#3044.  Brendan Carr (Lucky Star --- Madonna)

#3045.  Marocco's Load (Tobacco Road --- David Lee Roth)

#3046.  Brendan Carr (lucky star --- Nessa Barrett)

#3047.  Noem (Rome --- Yeasayer)

#3048.  Brendan Carr (Superstar --- Social Distortion)

#3049.  FCC's Brendan Carr (You Are My Lucky Star --- Gene Kelly & Debbie Reynolds)

#3050. McClain (Insane --- The Hives)

#3051.  Paula White (Fly By Night --- Rush)

#3052.  Paula White (Candlelight --- The Mystery Writers)

#3053.  Paula White (Dynamite --- Son Volt)

#3054.  Elon Musk's DOGE (Holiday Road --- Lindsey Buckingham)

#3055.  Unanue (Day By Day --- The Hooters)

#3056.  Finland's Howard Brodie (On Top Of Old Smoky --- Burl Ives)

#3057.  Elon's DOGE (Vintage Clothes --- Paul McCartney)

#3058.  Paula White (Parasite --- Kiss)

#3059.  Brendan Carr (Caviar --- Wavves)

#3060.  Taake's Fuckin' Gay (Rocky Mountain Way --- Joe Walsh)

#3061.  Brendan Carr (lucky star --- Ricky Nelson)

#3062.  Whore Paula White's A Cunt (Your Inner Light Is Love --- Right Said Fred)

#3063.  The Biggest Lie (I Wonder Why --- Sha Na Na)

#3064.  Nancy Mace (Damage Case --- Motorhead)

#3065.  Emil Bove (Hello Hooray --- Alice Cooper)

#3066.  Paula White (Dynamite --- Mr. Kitty)

#3067.  Paula White (Dynamite --- Sly & The Family Stone)

#3068.  Kellogg (Black Dog --- Led Zeppelin)

#3069.  Kellogg (Hot Dog --- Elvis Presley)

#3070.  JD Vance (Take A Chance --- Olivia Newton-John & John Travolta)

#3071.  Kellogg (Hot Dog --- They Might Be Giants)

#3072.  JD Vance (Second Chance --- Lemonheads)

#3073.  Trance (Vance --- Screeching Weasel)

#3074.  JD Vance (Second Chance --- Don Williams)

#3075.  Kellogg (Hot Dog --- Mark Knopfler)

#3076.  JD Vance (If By Chance --- Patti LaBelle)

#3077.  Edward Robert Martin (Fightin' Fuckin' Fartin' --- Wheeler Walker Jr.)

#3078.  Vance (Dance --- Jesus Culture)

#3079.  Tucker (Sucker --- Marcus King)

#3080.  Congressman Hern's Pink Slime (If I Could Turn Back Time --- Cher)

#3081.  Turn! Turn! Turn!  (Hern! Hern! Hern! --- The Byrds)

#3082.  Hern's A Fuckin' Cunt (Turn My Back On Love --- Triumph)

#3083.  Hern's A Fuckin' Cunt (Turn It Into Love --- Kylie Minogue)

#3084.  Terry Cole (Rock And Roll --- Led Zeppelin)

#3085.  Tenney's A Piece Of Shit (Any Way You Want It --- The Ramones)

#3086.  Jack Posobiec (Right Side Of My Neck --- Faye Webster)

#3087.  JD Vance (Song And Dance --- Buck Owens)

#3088.  JD Vance (If By Chance --- Dean Martin)

#3089.  JD Vance (Take A Chance --- Chicago)

#3090.  Usha (Russia --- Tori Amos)

#3091.  JD Vance (Half A Chance --- Carly Simon)

#3092.  JD Vance (Half A Chance --- Vince Gill)

#3093.  Schimel Plan (Simple Man --- Lynyrd Skynyrd)

#3094.  Schimel (Simple --- Phish)

#3095.  Caine (Rain --- Planetshakers)

#3096.  Caine (Rain --- Skinny Puppy)

#3097.  Caine (Rain --- Rusted Root)

#3098.  Caine (Rain --- Grateful Dead)

#3099.  Dan Bongino (Love Casino --- Lenny Kravitz)

#3100.  Bongino (Casino --- Gleemer)

#3101.   Trumpin' Dumpin' Ass: He's Always Shittin' --- (Living Loving: She's Just A Woman --- Led Zeppelin)

#3102.  JD Vance (Song And Dance --- The Sound)

#3103.  Amy Gleason (Feels Like Treason --- Magnum)

#3104.  Jimmy Fuckin' Comer (Gary's Got A Boner --- The Replacements)

#3105.  Gleason (Reason --- The Cranberries)

#3106.  The Donald's Gay (This Is The Day --- The The)

#3107.  Dan Caine (Cocaine -- Eric Clapton)

#3108.  Ryan Woods (Damaged Goods --- Stabbing Westward) 

 

Please do not share this material with Ryan Woods and/or President Donald J. Trump.