Justin Tucker, everyone's favorite Fantasy Football outdoor kicker, has been racking up the sexual assault complaints from a venerable swath of female massage therapists.
Reminiscent of that Deshaun Watson saga with the Browns (Chapter 2). But without the gratuitous facial expressions.
When those legal depositions start including words like "anus" and phrases like "periphery of the perineum"... well, uh, yinz fucked.
As if NFL Commish Roger Goodell doesn't have enough problems.
Tucker
sonofsaf
Kickers will misbehave, mother Tucker
Fuckin’ cunt, his Catholic dick keeps cuming
Special teams gotta get laid, Justin Tucker
It’s so sad when your only job is to blow
Ho
That Ravens kicker’s inbred
Justin Tucker
It’s the Baltimore screw, he hates his wife, yo
Amanda Tucker feels despair
Mother Tucker
Massage therapy is the enemy
Crucified
Roger Goodell’s radical, gone national, mother fucker
Fuckin’ cunt, tiny mushroom keeps cuming
It’s the green new scam, Trump you will fear, Justin Tucker
It’s so sad when your only job is to blow (MAGA)
That Raven’s kicker’s inbred
Justin Tucker
It’s the Baltimore screw, he hates his wife, yo
Amanda Tucker feels despair
Mother Tucker
Massage therapy is the enemy
That Ravens kicker’s inbred
Justin Tucker
It’s the Baltimore screw, he hates his wife, yo
Amanda Tucker feels despair
Mother Tucker
Massage therapy is the enemy
Crucified
Amanda Tucker feels despair
Mother Tucker
Massage therapy is the enemy
Crucified
Sucker
Marcus King
(from Arcane: Season 2 soundtrack)
No red rose on your grave, you poor sucker
One by one, all these bloodhounds keep coming
Sleep in the casket you made, you're gone, sucker
But you're mad if you thought I'd let you go
No
Get the fuck outta my head
So long, sucker
I don't wanna see you, I hate this life, oh
Get your fingers out of my hair
You're gone, sucker
Good luck killing me 'cause I'm already, already
Dead inside
Dirty little animals, you cannibals, eat your supper
One by one, all these vultures keep coming
Pretty little lamb, don't come down here, you're gone sucker
But you're mad if you thought I'd let you go (haha)
Get the fuck outta my head
So long, sucker
I don't wanna see you, I hate this life, oh
Get your fingers out of my hair
You're gone, sucker
Good luck killing me 'cause I'm already, already
Get the fuck outta my head
So long, sucker
I don't wanna see you, I hate this life, oh
Get your fingers out of my hair
You're gone, sucker
Good luck killing me 'cause I'm already, already
Dead inside
Get your fingers out of my hair
You're gone, sucker
Good luck killing me 'cause I'm already, already
Dead inside
From 2017 to the present, Marcus King has thugged the Burgh a surprising 8 times. Never heard of him.
However, I've always wanted to meet Jerry "The King" Lawler. Maybe throw a proposition his way.
I opted to include this ditty in the Big Lie 100. Mostly because of the similar allegations directed at the Orange Prolapse (adultery, rape, grab 'em by the pussy, tiny mushroom penis, etc.)