#2101. Lantern Fly

An invasive plague of biblical proportions is still swarming the Burgh.  

The Asian Spotted Lantern Flies!

Feel free to share my latest dance craze/musical parody.  I call it the "Asian Stomp."  It's all about the spastic flailing and/or awkward, clumsy stomping.  Toss in a few random shrieks and you got yourself the "Lantern Fly."  Ideally suited for the Jehovah's Witnesses (Liberty Avenue location).  They just stand there and absorb the attack.  Wave after wave. 

I suggested they come equipped with a limited edition Kingdom Hall portable dustbuster.  But they rarely take my advice.  Especially when it comes to voting and participating in the Democratic process.

 

Lantern Fly
sonofsaf

Hey, invasive crooks
Bad romance infestation chance
Fly away hey
Fly away hey
So whenever you stomp, choose the circumstance and pomp
Asian Lantern Fly
Spotted Lantern Fly

Gonna shake ‘em off like a sneezing cough
So many screams yinz Covid vaccines
Fly away hey
Fly away hey
So whenever you stomp, choose the circumstance and pomp
Asian Lantern Fly
Spotted Lantern Fly

Well, there’s no delight with a bug in flight
It’s hard to pretend ‘cause the swarm ain’t pretend
Fly away hey
Fly away hey
So whenever you stomp, choose the circumstance and pomp
Asian Lantern Fly
Spotted Lantern Fly

 

Velcro Fly
ZZ Top

Hey, look at the hooks
On your pants makes you wanna dance
I say yeah yeah
I say yeah yeah
There ain't never a catch, all you got to do is snatch
Do the Velcro fly
Do the Velcro fly

You need just enough of that sticky stuff
To hold the seams of your fine blue jeans
I say yeah yeah
I say yeah yeah
There ain't never a catch, all you got to do is snatch
Do the Velcro fly
Do the Velcro fly

Well, it feels so right when you squeezed it tight
When you reach the end do it over again
I say yeah yeah
I say yeah yeah
There ain't never a catch, all you got to do is snatch
Do the Velcro fly
Do the Velcro fly

 

Great tune.  It's my second parody of Velcro Fly.  Earlier this year, I penned #1688.  Russell Fry.  (regarding MAGA Gamecock Asshole Russell Fry (R-SC). 

Since 1975, ZZ Top has played the Burgh a grand total of 20 times.  They came to Star Lake last month but their concert coincided with my fantasy football draft and some misc. post-draft revelry out the crick.  So far, my record is a disappointing 1-3.

ZZ Top:

4-19-86, Civic Center, Wheeling, WV

7-31-22, The Pavilion At Star Lake, Burgettstown, PA (Outlaw Music Festival)

 

Please do not share this material with Asians and/or insect enthusiasts.