I want to get my thoughts down on this whole thing. I think this debate is going to continue for the duration. There's way too many conflicting political interests and diverse public opinion. I think the entire torture debate will somehow end up going to the Supreme Court when a CIA military contractor goes after the government, appeals his jail sentence and it makes it way up the chain of justice.
I think this will be one of the landmark court decisions of our lifetime. Similar to stuff like justifying slavery, giving women the right to vote, etc. This will become one of the defining moments in the history of the planet. I just can't see the issue going away, especially in the state our country is right now. I want to explore this further but just don't feel like typing right now. It was more of a reminder.
I think it's also reasonable to assume that we'll get hit militarily while all this goes on. Things always seem to balance out on this planet. This will give Obama some problems when he runs for reelection, especially if its Mitt Romney, who I swear, is well-positioned and is playing his cards perfectly.
I also think it's feasible, while all this transpires, the Supreme Court issues a decision where there must be some kind of independent observer per X # of war prisoners. Keep in mind, the Supreme Court is still marginally to the right. And the guys on the left are getting on in years (plenty of health issues, less so, with the Bush/Reagan appointees).
This whole term "enemy combatant" is guaranteed to come under scrutiny. Can you imagine a Supreme Court fight in the Senate to nominate an Obama appointee while this shit goes down? The judiciary committee is all left and Arlen Spector could get spanked out of the Senate by the PA voters. He's in the middle of all that shit. Never forget Saf's law of the universe. He doesn't believe in religious or spiritual trash, but he know one thing for sure - EVERYTHING VEERS TOWARD THE MIDDLE. I swear to you - the torture debate will continue unabated. Be prepared to hear about it.
It'll also be interesting to see if/when torture or "enhanced interrogation techniques" can be justified - the ticking time bomb scenario.
Democracy is so much more interesting than a dictatorship. You get way more scenarios.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
enhanced interrogation techniques
A 2005 memo says that the C.I.A. used waterboarding 183 times in March 2003 against Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, the self-described planner of the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks.
I found this intriguing. Keep in mind, this happened during the course of one month. That's about 6 times per day for an entire month. They're also talking about sleep deprivation through the use of excessive lighting and sound. And some kind of mass insect exposure in a confined area.
I'm hardly an expert on what constitutes torture, but this sounds like torture to me. THIS HAPPENED ROUGHLY 2 1/2 YEARS AFTER 9/11. How much credible information could you possibly extract? Maybe I'm naive.
I've often thought about how Dick Cheney sold the Iraq war to George Bush. I'm pretty sure this is how it transpired. After 9/11, Cheney correctly came to the conclusion that the greatest threat to the United States was a band of suicidal terrorists working in conjunction with a state sponsor. This sounds credible to me. Hell, Saddam Hussein was worth about 6 billion at one point. The late Yassir Arafat had about 1 billion. There's a ruling class of about 5,000 in Saudi Arabia with basically unlimited funds. Cheney thought to himself... We got lucky this time. These jihadists were harbored by the penniless Taliban in Afghanistan. What happens when the suicidal religious fucks have some real backing?
So we invaded and occupied, ousted the Taliban and chased whatever was left into the Afghan/Pakistan border region. Here's where it gets interesting. Cheney thinks to himself... This just isn't enough. The war in Afghanistan just doesn't cut it. The U.S. needs to send a stronger message to the world that the U.S. will not tolerate terrorists working in concert with rogue governments. I still think he's on credible ground here.
Cheney didn't need to look far to find the next enemy to send a message. Saddam was definitely a regional threat and had previously tried to go nuclear. Cheney figures it's just a matter of time. And to be honest, considering the stranglehold the family had on the country, he was probably right.
Cheney knew when we invaded Iraq, that we most certainly would NOT be greeted as liberators. I swear to fucking god. HE KNEW THIS. The guy is not some naive idiot. He knew there would be endless waves of violence and organized rebellion for about a decade. He knew that a civil war would erupt between the Sunni and Shia. BUT HE NEEDED THE WAR TO SEND THE REST OF THE WORLD THE FOLLOWING MESSAGE... If you're a third world dictator and you align yourself with jihadists, you will be ousted from power and your country will be demolished and transcend into endless chaos.
But he had to sell the war to Bush and he knew that this explanation wouldn't sell to the United States population. So he went with broader themes... The amped up nuclear threat and the axis of evil. Bush would be able to comprehend this. The Iraqi people would welcome us. They've needed us and we will come to their rescue. The scary part is that one person (Cheney) was able to sell it. When you've got a naive Texas country boy in the White House, anything is possible.
The sad truth... I think Dick Cheney had a reasonable position. An Al Gore administration would have just cleaned up Afghanistan. Would that have been a strong enough message to the rest of the world? I'm not so sure. In fact, I doubt it.
I was planning on blogging about torture but ended up on this tangent. Sorry for the confusion.
And I often wonder about the other links on my friend Amanda's blogslist. I access my blog from hers. I occasionally read them and wonder what they must be thinking if they read mine. Their blogs are usually about family and friends, whereas mine is about concerts, looting, terrorism, mediocre restaurants and mythical superheroes such as Cumburglar. They probably think I'm nuts. And they're probably right.
I found this intriguing. Keep in mind, this happened during the course of one month. That's about 6 times per day for an entire month. They're also talking about sleep deprivation through the use of excessive lighting and sound. And some kind of mass insect exposure in a confined area.
I'm hardly an expert on what constitutes torture, but this sounds like torture to me. THIS HAPPENED ROUGHLY 2 1/2 YEARS AFTER 9/11. How much credible information could you possibly extract? Maybe I'm naive.
I've often thought about how Dick Cheney sold the Iraq war to George Bush. I'm pretty sure this is how it transpired. After 9/11, Cheney correctly came to the conclusion that the greatest threat to the United States was a band of suicidal terrorists working in conjunction with a state sponsor. This sounds credible to me. Hell, Saddam Hussein was worth about 6 billion at one point. The late Yassir Arafat had about 1 billion. There's a ruling class of about 5,000 in Saudi Arabia with basically unlimited funds. Cheney thought to himself... We got lucky this time. These jihadists were harbored by the penniless Taliban in Afghanistan. What happens when the suicidal religious fucks have some real backing?
So we invaded and occupied, ousted the Taliban and chased whatever was left into the Afghan/Pakistan border region. Here's where it gets interesting. Cheney thinks to himself... This just isn't enough. The war in Afghanistan just doesn't cut it. The U.S. needs to send a stronger message to the world that the U.S. will not tolerate terrorists working in concert with rogue governments. I still think he's on credible ground here.
Cheney didn't need to look far to find the next enemy to send a message. Saddam was definitely a regional threat and had previously tried to go nuclear. Cheney figures it's just a matter of time. And to be honest, considering the stranglehold the family had on the country, he was probably right.
Cheney knew when we invaded Iraq, that we most certainly would NOT be greeted as liberators. I swear to fucking god. HE KNEW THIS. The guy is not some naive idiot. He knew there would be endless waves of violence and organized rebellion for about a decade. He knew that a civil war would erupt between the Sunni and Shia. BUT HE NEEDED THE WAR TO SEND THE REST OF THE WORLD THE FOLLOWING MESSAGE... If you're a third world dictator and you align yourself with jihadists, you will be ousted from power and your country will be demolished and transcend into endless chaos.
But he had to sell the war to Bush and he knew that this explanation wouldn't sell to the United States population. So he went with broader themes... The amped up nuclear threat and the axis of evil. Bush would be able to comprehend this. The Iraqi people would welcome us. They've needed us and we will come to their rescue. The scary part is that one person (Cheney) was able to sell it. When you've got a naive Texas country boy in the White House, anything is possible.
The sad truth... I think Dick Cheney had a reasonable position. An Al Gore administration would have just cleaned up Afghanistan. Would that have been a strong enough message to the rest of the world? I'm not so sure. In fact, I doubt it.
I was planning on blogging about torture but ended up on this tangent. Sorry for the confusion.
And I often wonder about the other links on my friend Amanda's blogslist. I access my blog from hers. I occasionally read them and wonder what they must be thinking if they read mine. Their blogs are usually about family and friends, whereas mine is about concerts, looting, terrorism, mediocre restaurants and mythical superheroes such as Cumburglar. They probably think I'm nuts. And they're probably right.
Monday, April 20, 2009
McHorror
Did you see the youtube video of the two idiots that posted themselves picking their noses and incorporating the snot within the pizza crust? I didn't watch the video but did see the clip on MSNBC. Far be it from me to support a right wing extremist pizza chain, but the incident did spark my interest - strictly from the perspective of it being a public relations disaster. It's fascinating that your company could donate millions to charities, spend time with community projects and perform other philanthropic activities. Then, in one earth-shattering moment, your entire brand and status is dismantled because of the actions of some dipshit in Boone, North Carolina or wherever that happened.
Obviously, fast food chains are particularly vulnerable here. They employ millions of minimum wager earners, most of whom do not have a vested interest in the company. The finger tip in the Wendy's chili incident in California a few years ago was kind of similar. It didn't impact me much because I really like their chili, but I'm sure it deterred many other chili enthusiasts. What about the idiot in Moundsville who stuck his pubes on the Wendy's burger and gave it to the cop? Seems like a disturbing trend has emerged.
Anyway, I got to thinking last night (always a dangerous scenario). What if an internet rumor started online about a McDonald's employee who referred to himself as "The Cumburglar," or I prefer, simply "Cumburglar." He's a "supposedly" fictitious McDonald's grillman that ejaculates into the cheeseburgers. Nobody knows which McDonald's he works at. Could be here in Wheeling. Could be Zanesville, Ohio. Could be in Shanghai, China. Simply put, nobody knows. He has a blog and a credible, realistic myspace page. In the blog, he shares his proclivity for ejaculating into a variety of food items. He often tries to coincide his ejaculative posts when they introduce a new burger or McShake or McNugget dipping sauce or whatever.
My point - wouldn't the public relations people at McDonald's pay huge bucks to squash something like this? If I was the CEO, I'd be willing to go monetary extremes to make sure this never sees the light of day. Interestingly enough, McDonald's is one of the few Fortune 500 companies that has seen its stock rise significantly during the recent recession.
Could you imagine??? What if Cumburglar posted a youtube video that gets immediately removed (for violating the obscenity rules)? But the video is then circulated virally and via email forwards. It could potentially be the most devastating PR nightmare a Fortune 500 company has ever faced. I'm trying to think of one that could top this and I'm left blank. Nike using Indonesian child/slave labor to mass produce sneakers comes to mind. Or should I say "cums" to mind.
By the way, I think Domino's Pizza totally sucks. Assuming you have alternative choices, why the fuck would anyone buy Domino's?
If you gave Cumburglar some phallic attire, that would lend even more credibility to this mythical hero. He'd obviously wear some kind of mask like the original Hamburglar guy in order to conceal his identity. I guess you'd probably want him to wear a McDonald's uniform but with a "special twist" of some kind. Any ideas out there for speculative garb?
Obviously, fast food chains are particularly vulnerable here. They employ millions of minimum wager earners, most of whom do not have a vested interest in the company. The finger tip in the Wendy's chili incident in California a few years ago was kind of similar. It didn't impact me much because I really like their chili, but I'm sure it deterred many other chili enthusiasts. What about the idiot in Moundsville who stuck his pubes on the Wendy's burger and gave it to the cop? Seems like a disturbing trend has emerged.
Anyway, I got to thinking last night (always a dangerous scenario). What if an internet rumor started online about a McDonald's employee who referred to himself as "The Cumburglar," or I prefer, simply "Cumburglar." He's a "supposedly" fictitious McDonald's grillman that ejaculates into the cheeseburgers. Nobody knows which McDonald's he works at. Could be here in Wheeling. Could be Zanesville, Ohio. Could be in Shanghai, China. Simply put, nobody knows. He has a blog and a credible, realistic myspace page. In the blog, he shares his proclivity for ejaculating into a variety of food items. He often tries to coincide his ejaculative posts when they introduce a new burger or McShake or McNugget dipping sauce or whatever.
My point - wouldn't the public relations people at McDonald's pay huge bucks to squash something like this? If I was the CEO, I'd be willing to go monetary extremes to make sure this never sees the light of day. Interestingly enough, McDonald's is one of the few Fortune 500 companies that has seen its stock rise significantly during the recent recession.
Could you imagine??? What if Cumburglar posted a youtube video that gets immediately removed (for violating the obscenity rules)? But the video is then circulated virally and via email forwards. It could potentially be the most devastating PR nightmare a Fortune 500 company has ever faced. I'm trying to think of one that could top this and I'm left blank. Nike using Indonesian child/slave labor to mass produce sneakers comes to mind. Or should I say "cums" to mind.
By the way, I think Domino's Pizza totally sucks. Assuming you have alternative choices, why the fuck would anyone buy Domino's?
If you gave Cumburglar some phallic attire, that would lend even more credibility to this mythical hero. He'd obviously wear some kind of mask like the original Hamburglar guy in order to conceal his identity. I guess you'd probably want him to wear a McDonald's uniform but with a "special twist" of some kind. Any ideas out there for speculative garb?
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
low-end(ing)
Well, the lawn saga seems to have been resolved. The manner in which it ended... well, let's just say it felt like being at church. First, I was made to feel bad. Then, I was made a pathetic offer (here's what you must do if you want to stay out of hell). Finally, there was a truly pathetic bargaining attempt to save what was left of my squandered dignity.
Mom's son and his spokesman promptly showed up at 1pm today. Apparently, my neighbor does not want any compensation for his yard or the hillside. Which in all honesty, he owns, not me. I own a tiny sliver at the top. My neighbor only wants a new tarp for his pool. I figure he'll have his lawn and garden crew attend to any repairs on his property. The cemetery didn't file a grievance either and they had a pretty big swath of land that got tracked.
Then, it was inferred how embarrassing this whole incident has been on the original perpetrator. I kind of felt guilty for making a production about everything. Especially since I was treated as the antichrist on our message board.
The lawn spokesman offered to pat down the lawn and reseed it. I said, "Well, I was planning on doing it myself so how about just making me an offer." Gil looks at me and says, "How about $200?" I sheepishly counter with a whopping $225 and then we shook hands. I'll get the check in a couple days and consider the entire matter closed. They both quickly exit the scene of the crime. This entire incident, although it made for good humor, was relatively weak. I mean we're basically talking about an older woman driving over a hillside late one night. It's not like she flew a plane into the World Trade Center.
I spent about 25 mintues stomping the wet ground in my Nikes. It's pretty much level for future lawn mowing. Stomping it out was easy since the lawn was so saturated today. I worked up a pretty good sweat which will suffice as my daily exercise. No grass seed is necessary. It's just a little muddy and I'm sure something will grow there. I'm not entering any lawn and garden contests this summer so we're safe from that perspective.
All in all, I guess you could say I got Gilled in the White. I should have countered with more, I know... I know... but I started to feel pangs of guilt. Maybe this is a fitting conclusion after all. In retrospect, maybe I could have shown a little restraint when communicating this whole ordeal to everyone I know. I think I'll take the proceeds and stock my liquor cabinet - which will benefit everyone. This way we can all commiserate and share in the muddy despair.
Oh, and Danno wins the contest with what we presumably thought was a weak bid of $1.00. Congratulations!
Mom's son and his spokesman promptly showed up at 1pm today. Apparently, my neighbor does not want any compensation for his yard or the hillside. Which in all honesty, he owns, not me. I own a tiny sliver at the top. My neighbor only wants a new tarp for his pool. I figure he'll have his lawn and garden crew attend to any repairs on his property. The cemetery didn't file a grievance either and they had a pretty big swath of land that got tracked.
Then, it was inferred how embarrassing this whole incident has been on the original perpetrator. I kind of felt guilty for making a production about everything. Especially since I was treated as the antichrist on our message board.
The lawn spokesman offered to pat down the lawn and reseed it. I said, "Well, I was planning on doing it myself so how about just making me an offer." Gil looks at me and says, "How about $200?" I sheepishly counter with a whopping $225 and then we shook hands. I'll get the check in a couple days and consider the entire matter closed. They both quickly exit the scene of the crime. This entire incident, although it made for good humor, was relatively weak. I mean we're basically talking about an older woman driving over a hillside late one night. It's not like she flew a plane into the World Trade Center.
I spent about 25 mintues stomping the wet ground in my Nikes. It's pretty much level for future lawn mowing. Stomping it out was easy since the lawn was so saturated today. I worked up a pretty good sweat which will suffice as my daily exercise. No grass seed is necessary. It's just a little muddy and I'm sure something will grow there. I'm not entering any lawn and garden contests this summer so we're safe from that perspective.
All in all, I guess you could say I got Gilled in the White. I should have countered with more, I know... I know... but I started to feel pangs of guilt. Maybe this is a fitting conclusion after all. In retrospect, maybe I could have shown a little restraint when communicating this whole ordeal to everyone I know. I think I'll take the proceeds and stock my liquor cabinet - which will benefit everyone. This way we can all commiserate and share in the muddy despair.
Oh, and Danno wins the contest with what we presumably thought was a weak bid of $1.00. Congratulations!
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Saudi judge upholds...
....marriage of 8 year old.
(CNN) -- A Saudi judge has refused for a second time to annul a marriage between an 8-year-old girl and a 47-year-old man, a relative of the girl told CNN.
The most recent ruling, in which the judge upheld his original verdict, was handed down Saturday in the Saudi city of Onaiza, where late last year the same judge rejected a petition from the girl's mother, who was seeking a divorce for her daughter.
The relative said the judge, Sheikh Habib Al-Habib, "stuck by his earlier verdict and insisted that the girl could petition the court for a divorce once she reached puberty." The family member, who requested anonymity, added that the mother will continue to pursue a divorce for her daughter.
The case, which has drawn criticism from local and international rights groups, came to light in December when al-Habib declined to annul the marriage on a legal technicality. The judge ruled the girl's mother -- who is separated from the girl's father -- was not the girl's legal guardian and therefore could not represent her in court, according to Abdullah al-Jutaili, the mother's lawyer.
The girl's father, according to the attorney, arranged the marriage in order to settle his debts with the man, who is "a close friend" of his. At the time of the initial verdict, the judge required the girl's husband to sign a pledge that he would not have sex with her until she reaches puberty, al-Jutaili told CNN. The judge ruled that when the girl reaches puberty, she will have the right to request a divorce by filing a petition with the court, the lawyer said.
-------------------
The article goes on for a bit. I think it's interesting how our govt. often condemns the use of Sharia law to validate strict Sunni Wahhabist philosophy. But you only heard about the Taliban in Afghanistan. You never hear much of what goes on in Saudi Arabia. Oddly enough, back in the day, Kabul was a pretty progressive city. It attracted a great number of educators and scholars. I seriously doubt Mecca, or its deep outskirts, has ever been considered a bastion of intellectual freedom and educational development.
It's just fascinating how we arm the Saudis to the teeth and generally back them across the board. Good to know the Saudis are with us. Well, except the 15 of the 19 hijackers from 9/11. George Bush Jr. was really on the money when he wanted to democratize the entire Middle East. He was such a visionary. And Karl Rove has the unmitigated audacity to suggest that Obama has a naive approach to foreign policy. Maybe I'm being to hard on our former president. Sometimes Bush reminds me of a current occupant of the White House. That current occupant being the recently adopted Portugese Waterdog "Bo." Maybe Obama was thinking the same thing and wanted to name the dog "Bosh." It would have certainly been a fitting tribute.
(CNN) -- A Saudi judge has refused for a second time to annul a marriage between an 8-year-old girl and a 47-year-old man, a relative of the girl told CNN.
The most recent ruling, in which the judge upheld his original verdict, was handed down Saturday in the Saudi city of Onaiza, where late last year the same judge rejected a petition from the girl's mother, who was seeking a divorce for her daughter.
The relative said the judge, Sheikh Habib Al-Habib, "stuck by his earlier verdict and insisted that the girl could petition the court for a divorce once she reached puberty." The family member, who requested anonymity, added that the mother will continue to pursue a divorce for her daughter.
The case, which has drawn criticism from local and international rights groups, came to light in December when al-Habib declined to annul the marriage on a legal technicality. The judge ruled the girl's mother -- who is separated from the girl's father -- was not the girl's legal guardian and therefore could not represent her in court, according to Abdullah al-Jutaili, the mother's lawyer.
The girl's father, according to the attorney, arranged the marriage in order to settle his debts with the man, who is "a close friend" of his. At the time of the initial verdict, the judge required the girl's husband to sign a pledge that he would not have sex with her until she reaches puberty, al-Jutaili told CNN. The judge ruled that when the girl reaches puberty, she will have the right to request a divorce by filing a petition with the court, the lawyer said.
-------------------
The article goes on for a bit. I think it's interesting how our govt. often condemns the use of Sharia law to validate strict Sunni Wahhabist philosophy. But you only heard about the Taliban in Afghanistan. You never hear much of what goes on in Saudi Arabia. Oddly enough, back in the day, Kabul was a pretty progressive city. It attracted a great number of educators and scholars. I seriously doubt Mecca, or its deep outskirts, has ever been considered a bastion of intellectual freedom and educational development.
It's just fascinating how we arm the Saudis to the teeth and generally back them across the board. Good to know the Saudis are with us. Well, except the 15 of the 19 hijackers from 9/11. George Bush Jr. was really on the money when he wanted to democratize the entire Middle East. He was such a visionary. And Karl Rove has the unmitigated audacity to suggest that Obama has a naive approach to foreign policy. Maybe I'm being to hard on our former president. Sometimes Bush reminds me of a current occupant of the White House. That current occupant being the recently adopted Portugese Waterdog "Bo." Maybe Obama was thinking the same thing and wanted to name the dog "Bosh." It would have certainly been a fitting tribute.
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Indigo Joe's
Mark and I went to Wheeling's newest restaurant in the Highlands today for lunch. I usually wait a month or so before trying out a new restaurant but said "what the hell, let's just go for it."
Great building & great service (Ashley). The parking lot is a bit unusual. Kind of like a dual-tiered rhombus w/ an illegal fire lane of handicapped parking directly in front. The place has a nice feel. Warm, relaxed and inviting. We sat on the restaurant side. I neglected to check out the restrooms or the bar side.
Mark got a corned beef reuben and a side of fries. I opted for the Maui Waui (pronounced Mow-wee Wow-wee) sandwich and a side salad. I normally try not to order food that has super-fun titles. The side salad was alright, nothing spectacular but most important, the bowl was chilled. You wouldn't believe how many times I get a salad and the bowl is room temperature, or even worse, sometimes hot right out of the dishwasher. My sandwich was decent. The tuna was a tiny bit undercooked, but I generally like my fish on the rarer side. However, I think they are going to have a lot of trouble with this type of fish preparation. In the Ohio Valley, people are accustomed to Coleman's fish - DFBAR (Deep Fried Beyond All Recognition). Don't get me wrong - I love Coleman's Fish. TJ's has their own take on how to prepare fish. Just throw it straight in the microwave and nuke it til it's nice and hot.
The reason I'm mentioning this is because their menu has a good amount of fish and one of their "specialties" is the fish tacos. I'm just worried that the wait staff will end up suffering because of what I call OVPS. That's Ohio Valley Palate Syndrome. The majority of diners in the valley - when they think of fish, they think of it either submerged and soaked in butter or DFBAR. There's not a lot of room for compromise with a Triadelphia resident. "Ma, my fish ain't cooked through! Where'd they get this? Schenk Lake? Out the crick?"
It would be a travesty if the wait staff (which was skilled, competent and friendly) has to bear the burden of OVPS in the form of lighter tips. And aren't we in the month of lent right now? I predict that one day, ownership will question the timing of the grand opening. I liked Indigo Joe's though and I'll be back.
Great building & great service (Ashley). The parking lot is a bit unusual. Kind of like a dual-tiered rhombus w/ an illegal fire lane of handicapped parking directly in front. The place has a nice feel. Warm, relaxed and inviting. We sat on the restaurant side. I neglected to check out the restrooms or the bar side.
Mark got a corned beef reuben and a side of fries. I opted for the Maui Waui (pronounced Mow-wee Wow-wee) sandwich and a side salad. I normally try not to order food that has super-fun titles. The side salad was alright, nothing spectacular but most important, the bowl was chilled. You wouldn't believe how many times I get a salad and the bowl is room temperature, or even worse, sometimes hot right out of the dishwasher. My sandwich was decent. The tuna was a tiny bit undercooked, but I generally like my fish on the rarer side. However, I think they are going to have a lot of trouble with this type of fish preparation. In the Ohio Valley, people are accustomed to Coleman's fish - DFBAR (Deep Fried Beyond All Recognition). Don't get me wrong - I love Coleman's Fish. TJ's has their own take on how to prepare fish. Just throw it straight in the microwave and nuke it til it's nice and hot.
The reason I'm mentioning this is because their menu has a good amount of fish and one of their "specialties" is the fish tacos. I'm just worried that the wait staff will end up suffering because of what I call OVPS. That's Ohio Valley Palate Syndrome. The majority of diners in the valley - when they think of fish, they think of it either submerged and soaked in butter or DFBAR. There's not a lot of room for compromise with a Triadelphia resident. "Ma, my fish ain't cooked through! Where'd they get this? Schenk Lake? Out the crick?"
It would be a travesty if the wait staff (which was skilled, competent and friendly) has to bear the burden of OVPS in the form of lighter tips. And aren't we in the month of lent right now? I predict that one day, ownership will question the timing of the grand opening. I liked Indigo Joe's though and I'll be back.
Monday, April 06, 2009
my license
I was speaking with a city of Wheeling police officer earlier today. He remarked that the address on my license is inaccurate. "How long ago did you live at your previous address?" I responded, "About 5 years ago." He replied, "You really need to get that updated as soon as possible." I thought to myself, but it expires in August of 2010. It was issued in 2003. He became just a slight bit more adamant, "Yeah, but it's important." The conversation was actually quite jovial.
I must be honest. I don't see myself rushing down to the DMV anytime soon. My insurance and registration are all good, and have my current address. My point - is it a reasonable expectation of the cops that all drivers on the road have the correct address on their license? What if they are trained to think of this as a "red flag." Seems plausible. Not a good sign for college kids who change residences more often than they twitter about their nightly beer consumption.
If it was so important, why wouldn't I be notified by the DMV? How come I've never heard of this? In my world, you get a new license right before the old one expires. I'm not one of these "paranoid of big brother types" - I don't mind the govt. knowing my current address, but I think I'll hold off for another year and 4 months.
I must be honest. I don't see myself rushing down to the DMV anytime soon. My insurance and registration are all good, and have my current address. My point - is it a reasonable expectation of the cops that all drivers on the road have the correct address on their license? What if they are trained to think of this as a "red flag." Seems plausible. Not a good sign for college kids who change residences more often than they twitter about their nightly beer consumption.
If it was so important, why wouldn't I be notified by the DMV? How come I've never heard of this? In my world, you get a new license right before the old one expires. I'm not one of these "paranoid of big brother types" - I don't mind the govt. knowing my current address, but I think I'll hold off for another year and 4 months.
enough
It has been insinuated that I'm taking pleasure in the misfortune others. Honestly, I harbor no ill will. To the best of my knowledge, I've never even met this woman. However, I can see how some of my recent ramblings have been insensitive. Therefore, I will immediately cease and desist discussing anymore of this (unless something totally bizarre happens).
After considerable reflection, the lawn damage estimate contest will continue forward.
After considerable reflection, the lawn damage estimate contest will continue forward.
the saga continues
I went to the Wheeling Police Dept. to obtain a copy of the report so I could submit it to my homeowners insurance company. I assume they'll contact her auto insurance carrier. I paid the $15.00 fee and they said they'd mail it to me in a few days. The desk officer seemed to have trouble locating the case number. It took him about 10 minutes and he offered up the #1628, but said nothing would be available online because it involved a DUI.
Here's an oddity about the incident - the manner in which it was reported by the newspaper. I can't believe I didn't notice it sooner. There's an unusual listing directly above her DUI notice. It reads...
Leaving the scene of an accident
At 2:34 a.m. Saturday, police were called to a Wetzel Street address regarding a domestic. There was no information on the report about leaving the scene of an accident.
This doesn't make any sense. It sounds like they were trying to "merge" the Leaving the scene w/ the DUI but utilize separate headings. It's almost as if the person who printed this decided to look for a way to save his/her own ass. I have a friend working to see if she can uncover any details about the odd wording.
I saw my neighbor leaving his garage this morning as I was coming up the driveway. I thought about stopping but we've got a "don't ask, don't tell" policy that's been going on for 2 years or so. It's really not a don't ask, don't tell. It's more like a "don't look at me, speak to me and stay away from me" policy. I was tempted to initiate a discussion but decided against it. Too risky.
By the way, I hope this woman is alright. I'm assuming she's ok. I honestly have no idea. Everybody I've spoken with claims she's a wonderful woman.
By the way, I enjoyed Gary's facebook status update...
"I wouldn't be surprised if more mothers of former WV politicians crashed into Saf's neighbor's swimming pool." Strong update.
And we've got some preliminary estimates for the contest on the insurance payout...
Saf - $847.00
Paige R. - $2,800
Katie S. - $3,600
Jess W. - $1,100
Gary M. - $1,350
This contest is open to the public. I know, I know... pictures would certainly help. I tried to be as descriptive as possible in the previous blog. Winner gets a Top 10 Vacation Destinations near Wheeling t-shirt and possibly a "certificate of excellence in estimating landscaping costs."
Here's an oddity about the incident - the manner in which it was reported by the newspaper. I can't believe I didn't notice it sooner. There's an unusual listing directly above her DUI notice. It reads...
Leaving the scene of an accident
At 2:34 a.m. Saturday, police were called to a Wetzel Street address regarding a domestic. There was no information on the report about leaving the scene of an accident.
This doesn't make any sense. It sounds like they were trying to "merge" the Leaving the scene w/ the DUI but utilize separate headings. It's almost as if the person who printed this decided to look for a way to save his/her own ass. I have a friend working to see if she can uncover any details about the odd wording.
I saw my neighbor leaving his garage this morning as I was coming up the driveway. I thought about stopping but we've got a "don't ask, don't tell" policy that's been going on for 2 years or so. It's really not a don't ask, don't tell. It's more like a "don't look at me, speak to me and stay away from me" policy. I was tempted to initiate a discussion but decided against it. Too risky.
By the way, I hope this woman is alright. I'm assuming she's ok. I honestly have no idea. Everybody I've spoken with claims she's a wonderful woman.
By the way, I enjoyed Gary's facebook status update...
"I wouldn't be surprised if more mothers of former WV politicians crashed into Saf's neighbor's swimming pool." Strong update.
And we've got some preliminary estimates for the contest on the insurance payout...
Saf - $847.00
Paige R. - $2,800
Katie S. - $3,600
Jess W. - $1,100
Gary M. - $1,350
This contest is open to the public. I know, I know... pictures would certainly help. I tried to be as descriptive as possible in the previous blog. Winner gets a Top 10 Vacation Destinations near Wheeling t-shirt and possibly a "certificate of excellence in estimating landscaping costs."
Sunday, April 05, 2009
full disclosure
Here's an excerpt from this mornings Sunday News Register in Wheeling, WV.
DUIs
At 12:55am Saturday, police arrested M. White, 74, of Wheeling for driving under the influence at an undisclosed location.
At first glance, this probably doesn't seem like headline material. Think again. Let's journey back in time to earlier that morning. I'm at my friend Gigi's house in Pittsburgh presumably minding my own business. All of a sudden, my phone starts ringing incessantly three times in a row. Sensing an emergency, I scramble downstairs. It's my good friend Heather (her last name rhymes with Holla!).
"Eric, around 2am last night a 72 year old woman drove through your lawn and ended up in your neighbor's pool! Call Gary. He has all the details."
I'm stunned, bewildered, confused, flabbergasted... Overcome with a torrent of emotions, I want answers. How could this happen? How the hell do you even get a car into my yard, let alone my neighbor's pool? Heather doesn't have any answers though.
I get back home mid-afternoon to assess the damage. What I'm about to see is eerily reminiscent of the Shock and Awe campaign during the early days of the Iraq war. My lawn has been mercilessly attacked in what appears to be some twisted form of vehicular sodomization. There are mammoth ruts on the hillside all the way down to the yard. Highly visible tire marks scar the entire length of the lawn. Sheer horror.
I"m like WHAT THE FUCK? Apparently, she was trying to turn around in the 3 point turn near my garage and failed miserably. She slid down the hill and ended up next to my fire pit (I currently call it stick mountain). Dazed and confused, I guess she sees the blue tarp covering Bill's pool. I'm assuming she thought, "Oh, praise the lord. Dear Jesus. Goodness gracious. I can see a wrap around driveway in the distance. Thank goodness. Heavens to Betsy." Needless to say, she drives across the tarp and the car starts to sink. Basically, her car met the same fate as Captain Ed's Floating Lounge. What happened next is a matter of pure speculation.
She obviously left the scene. Not sure if she knocked on Bill's door or what. I'm guessing she gathered her wits and called her son. Later that night, the cops showed up to survey the scene. Multiple towing companies show up. And I guess things got a little heated. I wasn't there, but I'm speculating that Meowee was terrified. She's not used to all this kind of stimulus. And Meowee still seems traumitized. Last night, all she could do was sit on the edge of the couch and gaze out the window. She probably blames herself. Meowee, it's not your fault.
I notice in the newspaper it reads "undisclosed location." Undisclosed location??? Undisclosed location my ass. She undisclosed herself all over my yard and hillside. Then she undisclosed herself in Bill's pool.
I just want the truth to come out. Wheeling is notorious for shady political cover-ups. Well, I've got news for the Whites. There's a new head honcho in town and he's BLACK, not white. His name's Obama and we're doing things differently now. There will be transparency from here on out.
Since I'm advocating full disclosure, I must tell you that Gil White was the realtor I bought my house from. Not my realtor, he represented the previous owners. Could it be that I'm the victim of some kind of conspiracy. For five years, the Whites have been plotting. They know I couldn't stand the Bush administration. They know I love Obama. So Gil encourages his mom to do doughnuts in my yard. All the while, she's thinking "I'll show this burn-out what a real burn-out is!" The whole incident really leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Yeah, that's right - bad taste on and around my mouth.
Like I said, there will be full disclosure. I'm going down to the police station tomorrow to check the police report and seek reparations form her insurance carrier. I'm guessing the length of the tire marks in the yard is about 150 ft. The hillside has been sodomized as well. Probably about 50 ft of homo-erotic mutilation. I'm also concerned about the emotional well-being of Meowee. And what about my pain and suffering. Honestly, I'm afraid to leave the house. This could have long lasting ramifications on my limo career.
Anyway, I'll gladly be accepting predictions on how much money I'll get from her insurance. Closest prediction wins a Top 10 Vacation Destinations near Wheeling t-shirt. It's NOT closest without going over. I still hear about the change speculation incident via Merl.
And I almost forgot the best part. There are pictures of the car in the pool on somebody's cell phone. This could be a turning point in my personal blogging history as I will certainly learn how to upload these pics once I get my hands on them.
DUIs
At 12:55am Saturday, police arrested M. White, 74, of Wheeling for driving under the influence at an undisclosed location.
At first glance, this probably doesn't seem like headline material. Think again. Let's journey back in time to earlier that morning. I'm at my friend Gigi's house in Pittsburgh presumably minding my own business. All of a sudden, my phone starts ringing incessantly three times in a row. Sensing an emergency, I scramble downstairs. It's my good friend Heather (her last name rhymes with Holla!).
"Eric, around 2am last night a 72 year old woman drove through your lawn and ended up in your neighbor's pool! Call Gary. He has all the details."
I'm stunned, bewildered, confused, flabbergasted... Overcome with a torrent of emotions, I want answers. How could this happen? How the hell do you even get a car into my yard, let alone my neighbor's pool? Heather doesn't have any answers though.
I get back home mid-afternoon to assess the damage. What I'm about to see is eerily reminiscent of the Shock and Awe campaign during the early days of the Iraq war. My lawn has been mercilessly attacked in what appears to be some twisted form of vehicular sodomization. There are mammoth ruts on the hillside all the way down to the yard. Highly visible tire marks scar the entire length of the lawn. Sheer horror.
I"m like WHAT THE FUCK? Apparently, she was trying to turn around in the 3 point turn near my garage and failed miserably. She slid down the hill and ended up next to my fire pit (I currently call it stick mountain). Dazed and confused, I guess she sees the blue tarp covering Bill's pool. I'm assuming she thought, "Oh, praise the lord. Dear Jesus. Goodness gracious. I can see a wrap around driveway in the distance. Thank goodness. Heavens to Betsy." Needless to say, she drives across the tarp and the car starts to sink. Basically, her car met the same fate as Captain Ed's Floating Lounge. What happened next is a matter of pure speculation.
She obviously left the scene. Not sure if she knocked on Bill's door or what. I'm guessing she gathered her wits and called her son. Later that night, the cops showed up to survey the scene. Multiple towing companies show up. And I guess things got a little heated. I wasn't there, but I'm speculating that Meowee was terrified. She's not used to all this kind of stimulus. And Meowee still seems traumitized. Last night, all she could do was sit on the edge of the couch and gaze out the window. She probably blames herself. Meowee, it's not your fault.
I notice in the newspaper it reads "undisclosed location." Undisclosed location??? Undisclosed location my ass. She undisclosed herself all over my yard and hillside. Then she undisclosed herself in Bill's pool.
I just want the truth to come out. Wheeling is notorious for shady political cover-ups. Well, I've got news for the Whites. There's a new head honcho in town and he's BLACK, not white. His name's Obama and we're doing things differently now. There will be transparency from here on out.
Since I'm advocating full disclosure, I must tell you that Gil White was the realtor I bought my house from. Not my realtor, he represented the previous owners. Could it be that I'm the victim of some kind of conspiracy. For five years, the Whites have been plotting. They know I couldn't stand the Bush administration. They know I love Obama. So Gil encourages his mom to do doughnuts in my yard. All the while, she's thinking "I'll show this burn-out what a real burn-out is!" The whole incident really leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Yeah, that's right - bad taste on and around my mouth.
Like I said, there will be full disclosure. I'm going down to the police station tomorrow to check the police report and seek reparations form her insurance carrier. I'm guessing the length of the tire marks in the yard is about 150 ft. The hillside has been sodomized as well. Probably about 50 ft of homo-erotic mutilation. I'm also concerned about the emotional well-being of Meowee. And what about my pain and suffering. Honestly, I'm afraid to leave the house. This could have long lasting ramifications on my limo career.
Anyway, I'll gladly be accepting predictions on how much money I'll get from her insurance. Closest prediction wins a Top 10 Vacation Destinations near Wheeling t-shirt. It's NOT closest without going over. I still hear about the change speculation incident via Merl.
And I almost forgot the best part. There are pictures of the car in the pool on somebody's cell phone. This could be a turning point in my personal blogging history as I will certainly learn how to upload these pics once I get my hands on them.
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
unhappy meal
I've always been skeptical of McDonald's. There's just something disturbing when you watch a corpulent parent and/or guardian taking their morbidly obese child by the hand in the parking lot, guiding their way to the entrance. They have this satiated look of contentment as if they're approaching hallowed ground. I'm sure for many it truly is a sacred experience. I also don't care for the concept of The Hamburglar. Why would this guy violate his parole in a never-ending quest to acquire dollar hamburgers? And I also despise adding the prefix "Mc" to every word imaginable.
Now is the time for payback. Just today I saw an internet ad for a free chicken wrap at Tim Hortons. Available today from 11:30am > 2pm only on April 1. At first, I thought it might be an April Fool's Day internet hoax. Heather and I went there for lunch and sure enough, it was legit. But it got me wondering, what if you set up a facebook ad and email chain letter that resembled the infamous Neiman Marcus Cookie recipe from the early days of the internet. For those that don't know, some guy had a spat with Neiman Marcus, so he found out the recipe for their "secret" cookie and encouraged people to fwd the recipe to everyone they knew. Back in the late 1990's, just about everyone on the planet had this fwd in their inbox.
Here's my idea. Granted it's a bit more diabolical and disruptive. I'd prefer to use facebook since it's way more efficient and effective. Stay with me here... First you design an ad that says "McDonald's is celebrating their 100th Anniversary." They have decided, that in these recessionary times, they will give away a free Happy Meal to every customer on the first Monday of every month for an entire year! Sounds somewhat credible. The whole team is in the ad. You've got Ronald McDonald, the purple entity Grimace and, of course, the Hamburglar pedophile along with the corporate logo. The whole thing looks very convincing and official.
Of course, once this thing starts making the facebook rounds, Mcdonald's comes out and says it was all a hoax and they apologize for any confusion. Now, I can already hear what you're thinking - Great idea, Saf! You suck. What's the purpose here? I can't believe I'm reading your blogshit.
NOW WE TAKE IT ONE STEP FURTHER. There is a follow up email ready to go after all this has unfolded. It explains that what started as some kind of pathetic internet hoax is actually coming true. People are getting free happy meals. Apparently, in several cities across the country and even some locations outside the U.S., there have been numerous accounts of people going through the McDonald drive-thrus. They request their free happy meal. The brittle voice responds over the intercom, "I'm sorry sir, this was all just one big hoax." In all these situations, the person responded with, "Hey, I'm not going anywhere til I get my free happy meal as promised. I'm going to TURN OFF MY IGNITION." All of a sudden, the drive thru is clogged. What are they really going to do? The manager will tell you to get lost but if you hold your ground, they have no options outside calling the authorities.
Can you imagine the fallout from people doing this at every McDonald's nationwide? I'm sure there are tons of people (mostly males ages 16-35) who would try this out if they thought it could work. What's Mcdonald's going to do - Call the cops everytime someone pulls this routine? You've got to realize that the new ad would have testimonials from people who have successfully obtained their free happy meal. You alter the individual accounts of their particular experiences. I could write a ton of these until it takes off on its own.
And the new facebook ad actually encourages people to try it and document their experiences. It begins to spread like a virus and basically the thing has a momentum all of its own. Also in the ad, you leak a phony corporate memo that was sent out to all participating McDonalds. In it, the Vice President of Sales mentions that corporate has decided it's best to just give away the free happy meals rather than put up a fight.
I swear to god. This idea has merit. And it would be a typical facebook group entitled "I got a Free Happy Meal from McDonald's." The best part of it all - For many people, it would become a truly "happy" meal. At the same time, it would make everyone at McDonald's decidedly "unhappy."
Saf, why all the resentment? Well, about 4 years ago I ordered a meal and the senile old lady in the pick-up window didn't include my fries. Like I said earlier - Now it's time for payback! Fuck Mickey D's - The only true Mickey D. is the drummer from King Diamond.
Now is the time for payback. Just today I saw an internet ad for a free chicken wrap at Tim Hortons. Available today from 11:30am > 2pm only on April 1. At first, I thought it might be an April Fool's Day internet hoax. Heather and I went there for lunch and sure enough, it was legit. But it got me wondering, what if you set up a facebook ad and email chain letter that resembled the infamous Neiman Marcus Cookie recipe from the early days of the internet. For those that don't know, some guy had a spat with Neiman Marcus, so he found out the recipe for their "secret" cookie and encouraged people to fwd the recipe to everyone they knew. Back in the late 1990's, just about everyone on the planet had this fwd in their inbox.
Here's my idea. Granted it's a bit more diabolical and disruptive. I'd prefer to use facebook since it's way more efficient and effective. Stay with me here... First you design an ad that says "McDonald's is celebrating their 100th Anniversary." They have decided, that in these recessionary times, they will give away a free Happy Meal to every customer on the first Monday of every month for an entire year! Sounds somewhat credible. The whole team is in the ad. You've got Ronald McDonald, the purple entity Grimace and, of course, the Hamburglar pedophile along with the corporate logo. The whole thing looks very convincing and official.
Of course, once this thing starts making the facebook rounds, Mcdonald's comes out and says it was all a hoax and they apologize for any confusion. Now, I can already hear what you're thinking - Great idea, Saf! You suck. What's the purpose here? I can't believe I'm reading your blogshit.
NOW WE TAKE IT ONE STEP FURTHER. There is a follow up email ready to go after all this has unfolded. It explains that what started as some kind of pathetic internet hoax is actually coming true. People are getting free happy meals. Apparently, in several cities across the country and even some locations outside the U.S., there have been numerous accounts of people going through the McDonald drive-thrus. They request their free happy meal. The brittle voice responds over the intercom, "I'm sorry sir, this was all just one big hoax." In all these situations, the person responded with, "Hey, I'm not going anywhere til I get my free happy meal as promised. I'm going to TURN OFF MY IGNITION." All of a sudden, the drive thru is clogged. What are they really going to do? The manager will tell you to get lost but if you hold your ground, they have no options outside calling the authorities.
Can you imagine the fallout from people doing this at every McDonald's nationwide? I'm sure there are tons of people (mostly males ages 16-35) who would try this out if they thought it could work. What's Mcdonald's going to do - Call the cops everytime someone pulls this routine? You've got to realize that the new ad would have testimonials from people who have successfully obtained their free happy meal. You alter the individual accounts of their particular experiences. I could write a ton of these until it takes off on its own.
And the new facebook ad actually encourages people to try it and document their experiences. It begins to spread like a virus and basically the thing has a momentum all of its own. Also in the ad, you leak a phony corporate memo that was sent out to all participating McDonalds. In it, the Vice President of Sales mentions that corporate has decided it's best to just give away the free happy meals rather than put up a fight.
I swear to god. This idea has merit. And it would be a typical facebook group entitled "I got a Free Happy Meal from McDonald's." The best part of it all - For many people, it would become a truly "happy" meal. At the same time, it would make everyone at McDonald's decidedly "unhappy."
Saf, why all the resentment? Well, about 4 years ago I ordered a meal and the senile old lady in the pick-up window didn't include my fries. Like I said earlier - Now it's time for payback! Fuck Mickey D's - The only true Mickey D. is the drummer from King Diamond.
Monday, March 30, 2009
soccer riot
There was a soccer riot over the weekend in Abidjan, Ivory Coast. I'm not sure if it was a riot. From what I've read, it sounds more like a crush or a stampede. Initial reports suggest 19 to 22 dead and about 132 wounded. Police may have contributed to the chaos by firing rounds of tear gas.
Why would I mention a newsreel blip like this, aside from my fascination with soccer riots and frenzied mobs? Well, all this happened BEFORE the game. Apparently, they decided to go ahead with the game (an African World Cup qualifying match). They were about halfway through the group qualifying stage (6th out of 10 games). Ivory Coast would eventually go on to win the game against Malawi 5-0.
I find this intriguing because I wonder if the game would have commenced if a similar tragedy had occurred in Europe or the United States. My conclusion - in Europe, I seriously doubt it. In the States, no way in hell. What about Central or South America? What's intriguing here is the barometer by which a country or culture measures the value of human life. Be sure to understand what I'm saying - I'm NOT suggesting that Africans have less regard for human life. I AM suggesting the possibility that when death and violence have become such an ingrained routine observance in normal day-to-day activity, a certain "desensitization" sets in.
When the great civilization of the United States crumbles, and trust me, it will eventually fall just like every other "great" empire, I wonder if a scenario like this could unfold on our turf. Remember, Ivory Coast authorities had the opportunity to delay or cancel the game. They opted to proceed. Perhaps they concluded that had they canceled the game, a riot of greater magnitude might transpire. It's hard to accurately judge what happened from a house in Wheeling, WV.
All of this just made me think of The Who concert in Cincinnati (1979 maybe) where people got crushed to death before the general admission show. I forget the death count - I think it was 10-20. I wonder if they went ahead with the concert. Not quite sure.
Why would I mention a newsreel blip like this, aside from my fascination with soccer riots and frenzied mobs? Well, all this happened BEFORE the game. Apparently, they decided to go ahead with the game (an African World Cup qualifying match). They were about halfway through the group qualifying stage (6th out of 10 games). Ivory Coast would eventually go on to win the game against Malawi 5-0.
I find this intriguing because I wonder if the game would have commenced if a similar tragedy had occurred in Europe or the United States. My conclusion - in Europe, I seriously doubt it. In the States, no way in hell. What about Central or South America? What's intriguing here is the barometer by which a country or culture measures the value of human life. Be sure to understand what I'm saying - I'm NOT suggesting that Africans have less regard for human life. I AM suggesting the possibility that when death and violence have become such an ingrained routine observance in normal day-to-day activity, a certain "desensitization" sets in.
When the great civilization of the United States crumbles, and trust me, it will eventually fall just like every other "great" empire, I wonder if a scenario like this could unfold on our turf. Remember, Ivory Coast authorities had the opportunity to delay or cancel the game. They opted to proceed. Perhaps they concluded that had they canceled the game, a riot of greater magnitude might transpire. It's hard to accurately judge what happened from a house in Wheeling, WV.
All of this just made me think of The Who concert in Cincinnati (1979 maybe) where people got crushed to death before the general admission show. I forget the death count - I think it was 10-20. I wonder if they went ahead with the concert. Not quite sure.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Greco's
A good friend of mine once said, and I quote, "Greco's is the best Italian food from here to Pittsburgh." I responded with a vitriolic tirade marked with unabashed caustic venom. What the Fuck? Greco's? Are you fucking kidding me? Apparently he was not - his name is Doug. Truth be told, he's one of my favorite human beings on the planet. High praise indeed.
Well, I ate there today and it was pretty much as expected. Everyone at my table opted for the buffet, so I acquiesced and joined "the party."
The salad bar didn't have much in the way of credible toppings, unless you consider tapioca pudding an adequate garnish. It could be more of a space issue. There was an ample choice of 6 dressings, but you had to guess what they were. Perhaps a little sign that says "light ranch" might confuse the delicate palate of the Grecovites. I would suggest signs that read "white" for ranch and "yellow" for creamy Italian. This way a diner could walk back to the table and proudly extol, "Look ma, I put the yummy white on it! I'm gonna put yella on the next one, gramps!"
The pizza buffet was exceptionally disgusting. Simply stated, the pizza is not cooked sufficiently. What you're left with is a doughy spectacle of grief and despair. I just don't know. The mushrooms are straight out of a can - I think I can see the Pennsylvania Dutch label from orbit. They also offer these miniaturized pepperoni rolls. I don't think adjectives like gross or abysmal are applicable here. You must invoke horrific descriptions. For example, these pepperoni rolls taste like "the aftermath of tsunami" or "the unforgiving tribal hatred of the Hutus and Tutsis."
Come to think of it, I've had other bad experiences in that plaza. The True Value (or as I like to call it, False Value) people took 6 weeks to sharpen the blades on my lawn mower and then, when I went to pay the $5.00, they ridiculed me for being anti-Bush. There also was a stolen milk crate debacle back in the early 1990's, but I brought that one upon myself. There is one shining beacon of light... the dumpster behind Convenient. Yep, that is all.
Well, I ate there today and it was pretty much as expected. Everyone at my table opted for the buffet, so I acquiesced and joined "the party."
The salad bar didn't have much in the way of credible toppings, unless you consider tapioca pudding an adequate garnish. It could be more of a space issue. There was an ample choice of 6 dressings, but you had to guess what they were. Perhaps a little sign that says "light ranch" might confuse the delicate palate of the Grecovites. I would suggest signs that read "white" for ranch and "yellow" for creamy Italian. This way a diner could walk back to the table and proudly extol, "Look ma, I put the yummy white on it! I'm gonna put yella on the next one, gramps!"
The pizza buffet was exceptionally disgusting. Simply stated, the pizza is not cooked sufficiently. What you're left with is a doughy spectacle of grief and despair. I just don't know. The mushrooms are straight out of a can - I think I can see the Pennsylvania Dutch label from orbit. They also offer these miniaturized pepperoni rolls. I don't think adjectives like gross or abysmal are applicable here. You must invoke horrific descriptions. For example, these pepperoni rolls taste like "the aftermath of tsunami" or "the unforgiving tribal hatred of the Hutus and Tutsis."
Come to think of it, I've had other bad experiences in that plaza. The True Value (or as I like to call it, False Value) people took 6 weeks to sharpen the blades on my lawn mower and then, when I went to pay the $5.00, they ridiculed me for being anti-Bush. There also was a stolen milk crate debacle back in the early 1990's, but I brought that one upon myself. There is one shining beacon of light... the dumpster behind Convenient. Yep, that is all.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Top 10 Sex Moves in Wheeling, WV
10. THE CLINTON HILLS
Pretend you're Bill Clinton. When your wife strips down, loudly proclaim, "Wow, that's a big dick!"
9. THE TRIADELPHIA
Ahhh... you're growing up. From the youthfully innocent "Try da feel ya" to the present day hardcore "Tri-dirty"
8. THE WHEELING ISLAND
You must love anal because the Island is a real shithole.
7. THE DICARLOS
Offering the hottest phone sex in town. While whacking off, call down and they'll answer "DICK...arlos"
6. THE WHEELING DOWNS
When you finish and she goes to light up a cigarette, tell her, "No smoking, bitch. Only at the casino, Ho!"
5. THE MOON DOGGIE STYLE
Fuck her like Moondog. When you're done, just give her a blank stare. You don't need to talk to that bitch."
4. THE WHEELING NAIL-HER
You're a minor league superstar worshipped by 11-year old girls. So fuck 'em all. Pedophiles Unite!
3. THE PALACE OF GOLD
Meditate, eat some vegetarian slop and go Krishna Berzerker on that Hare pussy!
2. THE WHEELING TUNNEL
You're totally screwed. All the Viagra in the world can't repair your fucked up dick!
1. THE JAMBO
Fuck her in a port-a-jon at Jamboree in the Hills. Embrace the scent - It's known as the acrid stench of incest.
DISCLAIMER: If you're a Wheeling Bible Belter, I'm very sorry. You weren't supposed to see this.
Pretend you're Bill Clinton. When your wife strips down, loudly proclaim, "Wow, that's a big dick!"
9. THE TRIADELPHIA
Ahhh... you're growing up. From the youthfully innocent "Try da feel ya" to the present day hardcore "Tri-dirty"
8. THE WHEELING ISLAND
You must love anal because the Island is a real shithole.
7. THE DICARLOS
Offering the hottest phone sex in town. While whacking off, call down and they'll answer "DICK...arlos"
6. THE WHEELING DOWNS
When you finish and she goes to light up a cigarette, tell her, "No smoking, bitch. Only at the casino, Ho!"
5. THE MOON DOGGIE STYLE
Fuck her like Moondog. When you're done, just give her a blank stare. You don't need to talk to that bitch."
4. THE WHEELING NAIL-HER
You're a minor league superstar worshipped by 11-year old girls. So fuck 'em all. Pedophiles Unite!
3. THE PALACE OF GOLD
Meditate, eat some vegetarian slop and go Krishna Berzerker on that Hare pussy!
2. THE WHEELING TUNNEL
You're totally screwed. All the Viagra in the world can't repair your fucked up dick!
1. THE JAMBO
Fuck her in a port-a-jon at Jamboree in the Hills. Embrace the scent - It's known as the acrid stench of incest.
DISCLAIMER: If you're a Wheeling Bible Belter, I'm very sorry. You weren't supposed to see this.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Top 10 Forgotten Bars of Wheeling
10. Mac's
Coach was the dickhead. Wonderful Wonderful.
9. The Study Hall
Great business model. Torch the place and collect the insurance.
8. Bud's Club
Home of the Bud Burger. Fuck That! Home of the heroin addict.
7. Office Lounge
Rest room to crowded? No problem - piss in the alley.
6. The Metro
Was it a metal bar? Was it a redneck bar? Was it a gay bar? No one really knew.
5. The Firehouse
Remember those two gay dudes that videotaped everyone smoking dope out back and sent the footage to WTOV9? Did you make the evening news?
4. My Club
Bad promotional ideas... C-section night, dental improvement night and "bring your daughter to work" night all failed miserably.
3. Captain Ed's Floating Lounge.
Sucked. Stank. Sunk.
2. Stormin' Norman's
This place was coked, err...uhhh, choked out of business. My bad.
1. The Eagle Inn
The original Wheeling meat market. 44 year old divorced mother of three - cinch in that pussy pillow. Tonight you will shine.
Coach was the dickhead. Wonderful Wonderful.
9. The Study Hall
Great business model. Torch the place and collect the insurance.
8. Bud's Club
Home of the Bud Burger. Fuck That! Home of the heroin addict.
7. Office Lounge
Rest room to crowded? No problem - piss in the alley.
6. The Metro
Was it a metal bar? Was it a redneck bar? Was it a gay bar? No one really knew.
5. The Firehouse
Remember those two gay dudes that videotaped everyone smoking dope out back and sent the footage to WTOV9? Did you make the evening news?
4. My Club
Bad promotional ideas... C-section night, dental improvement night and "bring your daughter to work" night all failed miserably.
3. Captain Ed's Floating Lounge.
Sucked. Stank. Sunk.
2. Stormin' Norman's
This place was coked, err...uhhh, choked out of business. My bad.
1. The Eagle Inn
The original Wheeling meat market. 44 year old divorced mother of three - cinch in that pussy pillow. Tonight you will shine.
Monday, March 09, 2009
gate crashing
I've always been fascinated by the power of the mob. Whether it be soccer riots, political rallies or even a going out of business sale at Bed, Bath & Beyond. I get this strange sense of exhilaration when I see the potential for acts of hooliganism, looting and general destruction. There's just something wildly invigorating about watching the emergence of chaos.
Over the years, I've been swept up in a few mob scenes. My all-time favorite was the Deer Creek Grateful Dead riot in the summer of 1995. For those of you who missed it, about 8,000 fans unruly fans stormed the hillside of an ampitheatre in Noblesville, Indiana. I was among them. We ripped apart the wooden fence as cops unleashed the hounds and launched canisters of tear gas. Then, they called in about 100 cruisers from nearby Indianapolis while police helicopters hovered above the venue. Upon reflection, it was an unusual gate crashing. There was a group of about 20 hippies at the northern side of the parking lot that made the move towards the end of the first set. Very little coordination or planning went into this one. Then, suddenly the mob erupted and everyone charged. My point - it was an act of totally disorganized spontaneity.
I've always wondered if you could harness and better coordinate the power of the mob. In this day and age of instant communication via text messaging, the answer is... yes. Let's get hypothetical here but we'll stay well grounded in reality. U2 just announced their stadium tour for North America. They've decided to play only football stadiums. Two of the more obscure dates are for Charlottesville and Raleigh. These will be huge shows that draw in the 50,000 range. Since they're college oriented towns, I'd expect that demand will exceed supply on the ticket front. Plus, there will be the usual tailgating and an alcohol induced supercharged atmosphere. Let's say there's a website out there called gatecrashers.com. Currently, no such site exists but what if there was such a forum. It would be an open forum where people could discuss upcoming concerts and sporting events all over the country. The site would also offer a small box where you could input your cell phone number. On the day of the event, just before show time, you could receive an instant message. This message would designate an exact time and place where a ticketless mob will congregate. Now I'm not a security professional or some bullshit rent-a-cop, but I'll tell you one thing - if 1,000 people without tickets suddenly convene right outside Gate D, a mob could instantly form and just push their way in. Whether or not you have a ticket becomes completely irrelevant if you get caught up in the "surge."
If I were going to attend an event, I'd certainly want to know when and where the chaos will emerge. My mindset - Hell, I'm on my way to the concert. I might as well check it out, maybe videotape the crush on my cell phone. Even if you somehow manage to mobilize a few security chumps, there's nothing that can be done. The power of the mob will ALWAYS win via strength in numbers. Hypothetically, you've got 50,000 people converging on the entry points. Suddenly, about 2,500 get the same text message. It's at Gate C, 7:37pm. That's all you need. And trust me, word will spread instantly. Unless, you're a total chickenshit or 7 months pregnant, who isn't going to zip over and check out the mob? Most rock bands like U2 aren't helping themselves with top ticket prices of $400 during a recession. That's just extra motivation.
You might ask, "Well Saf, why haven't we seen this shit go down?" The answer is simple, people have yet to comprehend the power of merging texting with large unruly throngs. I've seen it emerge on a much smaller level - when our local pigs have a surprise DUI checkpoint in Wheeling. You'll see a text go out and it informally makes the rounds. This is what I'd call defensive or preventative texting. You're trying to alert the populace and look out for your mutual friends. My idea of assembling the mob is simply more on the offensive side or as I like to call it "Takin' it to the streets."
Certain events really lend themselves to this idea. Obviously rock concerts, particularly metal and redneck country shows. Stadium style venues that aren't accustomed to dealing with large scale rock concert productions. Think about it - you're attending an all day Rock Festival in one of those mammoth European soccer stadiums. Who wouldn't want to be notified where the mob is going to instantly emerge? At the very least, it makes for some interesting discussion on the ride home. At some point, we will see this happen. I'm thinking by 2012. It's way more likely to become commonplace in South America and parts of Europe; then, eventually make its way to the United States in 2012 or so. I'd get more into the logistics, but I don't feel like talking about it anymore. Perhaps in my next blog...
Over the years, I've been swept up in a few mob scenes. My all-time favorite was the Deer Creek Grateful Dead riot in the summer of 1995. For those of you who missed it, about 8,000 fans unruly fans stormed the hillside of an ampitheatre in Noblesville, Indiana. I was among them. We ripped apart the wooden fence as cops unleashed the hounds and launched canisters of tear gas. Then, they called in about 100 cruisers from nearby Indianapolis while police helicopters hovered above the venue. Upon reflection, it was an unusual gate crashing. There was a group of about 20 hippies at the northern side of the parking lot that made the move towards the end of the first set. Very little coordination or planning went into this one. Then, suddenly the mob erupted and everyone charged. My point - it was an act of totally disorganized spontaneity.
I've always wondered if you could harness and better coordinate the power of the mob. In this day and age of instant communication via text messaging, the answer is... yes. Let's get hypothetical here but we'll stay well grounded in reality. U2 just announced their stadium tour for North America. They've decided to play only football stadiums. Two of the more obscure dates are for Charlottesville and Raleigh. These will be huge shows that draw in the 50,000 range. Since they're college oriented towns, I'd expect that demand will exceed supply on the ticket front. Plus, there will be the usual tailgating and an alcohol induced supercharged atmosphere. Let's say there's a website out there called gatecrashers.com. Currently, no such site exists but what if there was such a forum. It would be an open forum where people could discuss upcoming concerts and sporting events all over the country. The site would also offer a small box where you could input your cell phone number. On the day of the event, just before show time, you could receive an instant message. This message would designate an exact time and place where a ticketless mob will congregate. Now I'm not a security professional or some bullshit rent-a-cop, but I'll tell you one thing - if 1,000 people without tickets suddenly convene right outside Gate D, a mob could instantly form and just push their way in. Whether or not you have a ticket becomes completely irrelevant if you get caught up in the "surge."
If I were going to attend an event, I'd certainly want to know when and where the chaos will emerge. My mindset - Hell, I'm on my way to the concert. I might as well check it out, maybe videotape the crush on my cell phone. Even if you somehow manage to mobilize a few security chumps, there's nothing that can be done. The power of the mob will ALWAYS win via strength in numbers. Hypothetically, you've got 50,000 people converging on the entry points. Suddenly, about 2,500 get the same text message. It's at Gate C, 7:37pm. That's all you need. And trust me, word will spread instantly. Unless, you're a total chickenshit or 7 months pregnant, who isn't going to zip over and check out the mob? Most rock bands like U2 aren't helping themselves with top ticket prices of $400 during a recession. That's just extra motivation.
You might ask, "Well Saf, why haven't we seen this shit go down?" The answer is simple, people have yet to comprehend the power of merging texting with large unruly throngs. I've seen it emerge on a much smaller level - when our local pigs have a surprise DUI checkpoint in Wheeling. You'll see a text go out and it informally makes the rounds. This is what I'd call defensive or preventative texting. You're trying to alert the populace and look out for your mutual friends. My idea of assembling the mob is simply more on the offensive side or as I like to call it "Takin' it to the streets."
Certain events really lend themselves to this idea. Obviously rock concerts, particularly metal and redneck country shows. Stadium style venues that aren't accustomed to dealing with large scale rock concert productions. Think about it - you're attending an all day Rock Festival in one of those mammoth European soccer stadiums. Who wouldn't want to be notified where the mob is going to instantly emerge? At the very least, it makes for some interesting discussion on the ride home. At some point, we will see this happen. I'm thinking by 2012. It's way more likely to become commonplace in South America and parts of Europe; then, eventually make its way to the United States in 2012 or so. I'd get more into the logistics, but I don't feel like talking about it anymore. Perhaps in my next blog...
Monday, March 02, 2009
Fleetwood Mac / Mellon Arena
Last night was the tour opener for Fleetwood Mac at Mellon Arena. Why they chose Pittsburgh, I have no idea. Gigi and I met up with Nikki and Mike for dinner and drinks at Bigelow Grill at 6pm. I had never been there before and seriously doubt I'll return anytime soon. Gigi had this cauliflower oriented soup which was decent. Mike and Nikki both had fish and salad. I wasn't really hungry, so I opted for this wild mushroom and gorgonzola pizza appetizer. If they had decreased the amount of gorgonzola by 80%, it would have been decent. Suffice to say, it was not. The service ranged from mediocre to poor, but I was more interested in just chit-chatting before the show and having a couple beers.
Those 2 had purchased Igloo tickets so they were good to go. We briskly hiked to the arena in search of some cheap tickets. It was freezing cold and I didn't feel much like bartering. Cheap seats were $52 + service and the good seats were $150 + service charge. I found a guy right out front who had two extra in Section E. He wanted an even $100. I countered with 2 for $40. He dropped to $60, then $50. I kind of felt bad for him so I said, "Hey, let's meet in the middle at $45. This way we can all take away something positive from tonight." Bingo! That ordeal took about 35 seconds. And hey, we're in a recession. Right?
We zipped in and ventured to the side of the stage. We were about 20 rows up from the 3 background singers, directly below the widescreen. Great seats - I love standing on the side and we had the entire row to ourselves.
I've always been a fan of Fleetwood Mac. They're just an unusual collaboration of individuals. You've got Lindsay Buckingham who's kind of arrogantly talented, Stevie Nicks who's kind of mysterious and the drummer guy who provides a 70 year old foundation. Christie McVie isn't touring with them which kind of blows. She brings a very cool dimension to the band - kind of like a pleasant host of a casual, but sophisticated dinner party. Just for the record, there was an additional drummer, relatively hidden on the lower side of the stage. I think they needed a little extra ooomph for some of the songs. The kid did get to take a bow near the end so at least they gave him credit.
Pretty much a greatest hits show. Everyone sounded decent, nothing too outrageous or over-the-top. Highlights for me were The Chain, Rhiannon, and a great version of Gold Dust Woman. They closed out with Don't Stop and came back for Silver Springs. I liked the mellow closer. Kind of reminded me of when the Dead would close shows on a softer note. Quiet the crowd and send them home with a warm glow. After all, we'll rock it out later. The only low point was Lindsay Buckingham's mid 1980's solo material. Why he decided to include this stuff, I have no idea.
Halfway through the show, I noticed some open seats in the front row on the side, so we discreetly zipped down there and hung out. We invaded the space of an older mulleted gentleman who complained briefly and then took off for some other aisle seats. These were obviously unsold seats. I was hardly surprised that nobody was brave enough to move down. For the most part, the crowd was lame. Vast sections remained seated for the entire show. Well, until the end of course where people got up and suddenly acted jubilant. I know... I know... It's an older crowd, but come the fuck on!
Anyway, at the sound of the last note, we hit the restrooms and bolted to the car. We made it back to Gig's house in about 6 minutes. I'm just not accustomed to that. Usually it takes an hour to get back to Wheeling. No need to do any after-tailgating. It was freezing outside.
All in all, it was a great time/great show but totally paled in comparison to the Fleetwood Mac Starlake show of 1997. Now that one was a concert for the ages. Only one downer note - I didn't get to hear Edge of Seventeen (Stevie Nicks solo material), but she did play it at the 2001 Starlake show, so that is that. I've said it before and I'll say it one more time - I have no need for a Fleetwood Cadillac nor a Big Mac, but a combination of the two ain't bad.
Those 2 had purchased Igloo tickets so they were good to go. We briskly hiked to the arena in search of some cheap tickets. It was freezing cold and I didn't feel much like bartering. Cheap seats were $52 + service and the good seats were $150 + service charge. I found a guy right out front who had two extra in Section E. He wanted an even $100. I countered with 2 for $40. He dropped to $60, then $50. I kind of felt bad for him so I said, "Hey, let's meet in the middle at $45. This way we can all take away something positive from tonight." Bingo! That ordeal took about 35 seconds. And hey, we're in a recession. Right?
We zipped in and ventured to the side of the stage. We were about 20 rows up from the 3 background singers, directly below the widescreen. Great seats - I love standing on the side and we had the entire row to ourselves.
I've always been a fan of Fleetwood Mac. They're just an unusual collaboration of individuals. You've got Lindsay Buckingham who's kind of arrogantly talented, Stevie Nicks who's kind of mysterious and the drummer guy who provides a 70 year old foundation. Christie McVie isn't touring with them which kind of blows. She brings a very cool dimension to the band - kind of like a pleasant host of a casual, but sophisticated dinner party. Just for the record, there was an additional drummer, relatively hidden on the lower side of the stage. I think they needed a little extra ooomph for some of the songs. The kid did get to take a bow near the end so at least they gave him credit.
Pretty much a greatest hits show. Everyone sounded decent, nothing too outrageous or over-the-top. Highlights for me were The Chain, Rhiannon, and a great version of Gold Dust Woman. They closed out with Don't Stop and came back for Silver Springs. I liked the mellow closer. Kind of reminded me of when the Dead would close shows on a softer note. Quiet the crowd and send them home with a warm glow. After all, we'll rock it out later. The only low point was Lindsay Buckingham's mid 1980's solo material. Why he decided to include this stuff, I have no idea.
Halfway through the show, I noticed some open seats in the front row on the side, so we discreetly zipped down there and hung out. We invaded the space of an older mulleted gentleman who complained briefly and then took off for some other aisle seats. These were obviously unsold seats. I was hardly surprised that nobody was brave enough to move down. For the most part, the crowd was lame. Vast sections remained seated for the entire show. Well, until the end of course where people got up and suddenly acted jubilant. I know... I know... It's an older crowd, but come the fuck on!
Anyway, at the sound of the last note, we hit the restrooms and bolted to the car. We made it back to Gig's house in about 6 minutes. I'm just not accustomed to that. Usually it takes an hour to get back to Wheeling. No need to do any after-tailgating. It was freezing outside.
All in all, it was a great time/great show but totally paled in comparison to the Fleetwood Mac Starlake show of 1997. Now that one was a concert for the ages. Only one downer note - I didn't get to hear Edge of Seventeen (Stevie Nicks solo material), but she did play it at the 2001 Starlake show, so that is that. I've said it before and I'll say it one more time - I have no need for a Fleetwood Cadillac nor a Big Mac, but a combination of the two ain't bad.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
random observations
Just wanted to mention a few things I've thought about lately...
Remember when there was an outcry in California to get rid of governer Gray Davis. Granted, this guy was about as exciting as a local algebra teacher, but he was still an elected official. The referendum to have a special election was based on his lack of fiscal oversight in the debt ridden state. After all, California had a budget deficit of 6 billion at the time. Fortunately, California voters were wise enough to elect Arnold Scharzenegger aka The Governator. Now their budget deficit is 42 billion. Maybe they should have stuck with Gray Davis, but that election was just so much fun. They had porn star Mary Carey, midget TV phenom Gary Coleman, and roughly 300 other people run for Governor.
Fox News always makes this huge production that Iran and North Korea are going to test fire long range missiles. What country with long range missiles does NOT actively test them? Wouldn't it be even more irresponsible to have these missiles and not engage in routine testing? Why does Fox only mention the "axis of evil" countries in this regard. Why not disclose when India and Israel perform tests? Wouldn't that be a little more fair and balanced?
Here's an idea. When you speak with low income Republican who voted for Bush and is an ardent supporter of the war in Iraq, ask them to name 2 other cities in the country other than Baghdad. In Afghanistan, see if they can name 1 city.
Why did El Salvador commit troops to the Iraq war? How could this possibly have been in the national interest of a tiny impoverished country in Central America? Does the average El Salvadorian really have a vested interest in the Middle East or the political transformation of Iraq. They were just one of the more obscure members of the "coalition of the willing."
What kind of bank would extend a $400,000 mortgage with no money down?
How could the sequel to Meet the Parents be so pathetic when the first one was so hysterical?
Why does the Republican party seek to destroy absolutely anyone that proposes raising taxes? For a party that supposedly embraces sound principles of economics, you'd think they'd realize that in good times you're supposed to increase taxes and during recessionary times, you decrease taxes. It's called Econ 101. You can't just keep indiscriminately cutting taxes in every situation. Eventually you'd have no revenue.
Rank these 10 things in order of importance AS THEY AFFECT YOUR LIFE. BE TOTALLY HONEST. Which are you most likely to talk discuss with friends and family...
Nadya Suleman, the price of gasoline, the weekly episode of American Idol, the war in Iraq, long term U.S. energy policy, celebrity couples and romances, Nascar, Oprah's Book Club or any book, credit card debt, high profile arrests & mugshots.
Remember when there was an outcry in California to get rid of governer Gray Davis. Granted, this guy was about as exciting as a local algebra teacher, but he was still an elected official. The referendum to have a special election was based on his lack of fiscal oversight in the debt ridden state. After all, California had a budget deficit of 6 billion at the time. Fortunately, California voters were wise enough to elect Arnold Scharzenegger aka The Governator. Now their budget deficit is 42 billion. Maybe they should have stuck with Gray Davis, but that election was just so much fun. They had porn star Mary Carey, midget TV phenom Gary Coleman, and roughly 300 other people run for Governor.
Fox News always makes this huge production that Iran and North Korea are going to test fire long range missiles. What country with long range missiles does NOT actively test them? Wouldn't it be even more irresponsible to have these missiles and not engage in routine testing? Why does Fox only mention the "axis of evil" countries in this regard. Why not disclose when India and Israel perform tests? Wouldn't that be a little more fair and balanced?
Here's an idea. When you speak with low income Republican who voted for Bush and is an ardent supporter of the war in Iraq, ask them to name 2 other cities in the country other than Baghdad. In Afghanistan, see if they can name 1 city.
Why did El Salvador commit troops to the Iraq war? How could this possibly have been in the national interest of a tiny impoverished country in Central America? Does the average El Salvadorian really have a vested interest in the Middle East or the political transformation of Iraq. They were just one of the more obscure members of the "coalition of the willing."
What kind of bank would extend a $400,000 mortgage with no money down?
How could the sequel to Meet the Parents be so pathetic when the first one was so hysterical?
Why does the Republican party seek to destroy absolutely anyone that proposes raising taxes? For a party that supposedly embraces sound principles of economics, you'd think they'd realize that in good times you're supposed to increase taxes and during recessionary times, you decrease taxes. It's called Econ 101. You can't just keep indiscriminately cutting taxes in every situation. Eventually you'd have no revenue.
Rank these 10 things in order of importance AS THEY AFFECT YOUR LIFE. BE TOTALLY HONEST. Which are you most likely to talk discuss with friends and family...
Nadya Suleman, the price of gasoline, the weekly episode of American Idol, the war in Iraq, long term U.S. energy policy, celebrity couples and romances, Nascar, Oprah's Book Club or any book, credit card debt, high profile arrests & mugshots.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Top 10 WORST Rock Concerts
You always see these lists everywhere - Favorite rock bands, vehicles I used to own, best recipes, favorite expressions (you know, "gag my with a spoon", "FACIAL")... on and on it goes, reluctantly and with a momentum entirely of its own. I already compiled a list of my favorite rock concerts a couple of years ago.
Well, how about a list of the absolute WORST rock concerts I've ever seen. I have all my ticket stubs showcased on my bedroom wall, so it was easy for me to walk around and pick them out. I would encourage others to make a similar list. I'll try to offer a brief explanation of why the show sucked. I'll also avoid targeting shitty bands, Jimmy Buffett and various country acts - what purpose would this possibly serve.
These are listed in no particular order.
10. Deep Purple & The Scorpions, June 15, 2002, Post Gazette Pavilion
I wouldn't classify this show as poor, but rather oddly pathetic. What desperate promoter conjured up this pairing? This was when The Scorpions came out with those horrible songs - Winds of Change and Gorky Park. When I saw these large, toothless morons swaying to that Winds of Change song, I bolted for the car and procured a much needed beverage. You think of great bands that have become absolute jokes - Aerosmith, Van Halen/Hagar, and The Scorpions are right up there.
9. Allman Brothers - Post Gazette (I think it was the 2003 show).
I love the Allman Brothers. Seen them about 10 times. There was one show that was really uninspiring. I'm sure their fans who go see them in Burgettstown every year know which year I'm talking about.
8. The Artist Formerly Known As Prince - 1997, Mellon Arena
I saw his Musicology Tour in 2004 at Mellon and it was one of the best concerts I've ever seen. This show was blatantly lame. First off, the venue was half full. He was at the peak of his Jehovah's Witness phase and properly referred to as The Artist. He wouldn't play any of his racy material and he refused to curse on stage, so he had the audience yell out words like "damn" or "hell." What the fuck? What was this? Although he's a weirdo, Prince is fantastic. But this tour he was straight weirdo.
7. Rusted Root - Wheeling Civic Center (I think it was 1996 or 97)
Rusted Root (I like to call them Rusted Soot) came to town riding the wave of that crappy "Simmy's on the Way" song. There's something embarrassing about going to see a concert in Wheeling. After the show, I feel like my mom's supposed to discreetly pick me up and tell me it's time for bed. This was the show where a Wheeling Jesuit girl bit the dust in the restroom and had to got to the emergency room so they could wire her jaw shut. I remember partying on the Island that night at Smitty's house. Long night for everyone.
6. Santana - Post Gazette Pavilion, 2003
This was the year Santana teamed up with all those crappy Top 40 bands - Goo Goo Dolls, the Matchbox 20 fag, Third Eye Blind. He released this horrible collaborative cd with all these endlessly regurgitated pop songs. Rest assured, he played them all to a crowd of rabid 40 year old women who had no idea his first name was Carlos.
5. Beat Bash - Post Gazette Pavillion, August 25, 2001
I'm still not sure what this was, why I was there or who I was with. I ight have zipped up just to scalp. Lots of Eminem, fake wanna-be thugs all over the parking lot. Not sure who played but I vaguely remember something called Kool-Aid and JoJo. This concert may have been a contributing factor to 9/11.
4. Grateful Dead - 3-18-91, Cap Center - Landover, Maryland
Everyone loves a Dead show, right??? Well this one totally sucked. Jerry kept forgetting lyrics and the band just sounded horrible. Setlist was boring and uninspired too. Couldn't even compensate through partying at the campground (Greenbelt) because we were continually harassed by militant park rangers. They even took our beer.
3. Anthrax, Exodus & Helloween - Hara Arena, Dayton, Ohio 4-24-89
Of all the top tier trash bands, Anthrax was always out of place. The only thing I remember was being embarrased to cheer, clap or applaud. Not a good sign.
2. The Other Ones - Mellon Arena, November 29, 2002
This was one of those early Phil and Friends shows. Plain awful. We had a good time though. For a while, we were behind the stage until security tossed us out. I hate to say this, but from what I've seen, the remaining members of the Grateful Dead and their affiliate members have become a colossal joke. You gotta know when to hang it up. Here's an idea - don't tour during the winter. So at the very least, we can enjoy the tailgating weather.
1. David Bowie & Nine Inch Nails - Starlake Ampitheatre, September 23, 1995
This was the year they collaborated. I think it was called "Tin Can Project" or something to that effect. We were so psyched. Instead, they played only the new material. You could see the disappointment in the entire crowd. After the show, everyone bitched on the way to their vehicles. You don't see that very often.
Honorable Mention - What else could it be but the Grateful Dead Blizzard Show. 3-20-94, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, Ohio
They canceled the show the night before and everyone partied their asses off at any hotel, rest stop, Taco Bell, wherever... Fuck it! State of Emergency and, ohhh yeah, the Dead comes to town. We were totally psyched. It might have been one hell of a party, but let's be honest. That show sucked.
Well, how about a list of the absolute WORST rock concerts I've ever seen. I have all my ticket stubs showcased on my bedroom wall, so it was easy for me to walk around and pick them out. I would encourage others to make a similar list. I'll try to offer a brief explanation of why the show sucked. I'll also avoid targeting shitty bands, Jimmy Buffett and various country acts - what purpose would this possibly serve.
These are listed in no particular order.
10. Deep Purple & The Scorpions, June 15, 2002, Post Gazette Pavilion
I wouldn't classify this show as poor, but rather oddly pathetic. What desperate promoter conjured up this pairing? This was when The Scorpions came out with those horrible songs - Winds of Change and Gorky Park. When I saw these large, toothless morons swaying to that Winds of Change song, I bolted for the car and procured a much needed beverage. You think of great bands that have become absolute jokes - Aerosmith, Van Halen/Hagar, and The Scorpions are right up there.
9. Allman Brothers - Post Gazette (I think it was the 2003 show).
I love the Allman Brothers. Seen them about 10 times. There was one show that was really uninspiring. I'm sure their fans who go see them in Burgettstown every year know which year I'm talking about.
8. The Artist Formerly Known As Prince - 1997, Mellon Arena
I saw his Musicology Tour in 2004 at Mellon and it was one of the best concerts I've ever seen. This show was blatantly lame. First off, the venue was half full. He was at the peak of his Jehovah's Witness phase and properly referred to as The Artist. He wouldn't play any of his racy material and he refused to curse on stage, so he had the audience yell out words like "damn" or "hell." What the fuck? What was this? Although he's a weirdo, Prince is fantastic. But this tour he was straight weirdo.
7. Rusted Root - Wheeling Civic Center (I think it was 1996 or 97)
Rusted Root (I like to call them Rusted Soot) came to town riding the wave of that crappy "Simmy's on the Way" song. There's something embarrassing about going to see a concert in Wheeling. After the show, I feel like my mom's supposed to discreetly pick me up and tell me it's time for bed. This was the show where a Wheeling Jesuit girl bit the dust in the restroom and had to got to the emergency room so they could wire her jaw shut. I remember partying on the Island that night at Smitty's house. Long night for everyone.
6. Santana - Post Gazette Pavilion, 2003
This was the year Santana teamed up with all those crappy Top 40 bands - Goo Goo Dolls, the Matchbox 20 fag, Third Eye Blind. He released this horrible collaborative cd with all these endlessly regurgitated pop songs. Rest assured, he played them all to a crowd of rabid 40 year old women who had no idea his first name was Carlos.
5. Beat Bash - Post Gazette Pavillion, August 25, 2001
I'm still not sure what this was, why I was there or who I was with. I ight have zipped up just to scalp. Lots of Eminem, fake wanna-be thugs all over the parking lot. Not sure who played but I vaguely remember something called Kool-Aid and JoJo. This concert may have been a contributing factor to 9/11.
4. Grateful Dead - 3-18-91, Cap Center - Landover, Maryland
Everyone loves a Dead show, right??? Well this one totally sucked. Jerry kept forgetting lyrics and the band just sounded horrible. Setlist was boring and uninspired too. Couldn't even compensate through partying at the campground (Greenbelt) because we were continually harassed by militant park rangers. They even took our beer.
3. Anthrax, Exodus & Helloween - Hara Arena, Dayton, Ohio 4-24-89
Of all the top tier trash bands, Anthrax was always out of place. The only thing I remember was being embarrased to cheer, clap or applaud. Not a good sign.
2. The Other Ones - Mellon Arena, November 29, 2002
This was one of those early Phil and Friends shows. Plain awful. We had a good time though. For a while, we were behind the stage until security tossed us out. I hate to say this, but from what I've seen, the remaining members of the Grateful Dead and their affiliate members have become a colossal joke. You gotta know when to hang it up. Here's an idea - don't tour during the winter. So at the very least, we can enjoy the tailgating weather.
1. David Bowie & Nine Inch Nails - Starlake Ampitheatre, September 23, 1995
This was the year they collaborated. I think it was called "Tin Can Project" or something to that effect. We were so psyched. Instead, they played only the new material. You could see the disappointment in the entire crowd. After the show, everyone bitched on the way to their vehicles. You don't see that very often.
Honorable Mention - What else could it be but the Grateful Dead Blizzard Show. 3-20-94, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, Ohio
They canceled the show the night before and everyone partied their asses off at any hotel, rest stop, Taco Bell, wherever... Fuck it! State of Emergency and, ohhh yeah, the Dead comes to town. We were totally psyched. It might have been one hell of a party, but let's be honest. That show sucked.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
using facebook as a weapon
Here's a hypothetical situation. My name is Marlene and I live in the small rural town of Bethesda, Ohio. The population of our community is about 600. Being part of small town America, everyone pretty much knows everybody. About 2/3 of the townspeople have internet access and the majority are connected via facebook. We all monitor each others status and frequently discuss local politics and future events. In many ways, interest in facebook and its related groups (Bethesda bowlers, gardening club, etc.) has surpassed the popularity of the local newspaper. The instantaneous nature and accessibility to information via facebook just seems like a better way to keep in touch.
Recently, my best friend Annie Thompson was the victim of a physical assualt. Her alcoholic husband Jim came home violent and drunk. He punched her several times leaving her with 2 bruises and a broken nose. Annie fled the house and came to my home in tears. She told me the whole story and I decided to exact my own form of revenge upon her asshole husband Jim. I got on the computer, went to my facebook page and posted the following as my status update...
"Jim Thompson beat his wife, gave her a sexually transmitted disease and has engaged in acts of bestiality." Actually, you could write just about anything with the insinuation of child pornography or molestation and BOOM, it's all over. Maybe a drugged date rape accusation or so and so is a heroin junkie. The possibilities are endless - you get the drift.
Rest assured, all this is merely hypothetical but I assure you this is a highly plausible scenario. This is a vicious attack with little or no recourse. After all, it could be a reference to some other Jim Thompson. I could argue that someone else knew my password and posted it. You could go the freedom of speech route.
My point - I think you'll see a rise in frivolous litigation concerning these matters. What if I decided to start an internet facebook club entitled, "Here is a list of the names and addresses of sexual predators in Bethesda, Ohio." Hell, I got my information form a govt. website and was just trying to fulfill my civic duty.
Something very similar happened in Wheeling in the pre-internet days (early 1990's). Does anyone remember when a vindictive individual spray painted a message about how another person "raped her son" on a vacant building wall next to a local church. I'm sure that made for some interesting conversation amongst the churchies at Sunday brunch.
Here's the point of all this. There's going to have to eventually be some global acceptance that when it comes to libelous/slanderous (via webcams) online activity, the perpetrators will increasingly not be held liable. You'll be able to say anything or post anything with absolute impunity. In a world that increasingly relies on the world wide web as a reliable source for information and the non-stop level of accompanying litigation, it seems as though these two forces will soon collide. For the most part, they already have. I suspect we'll see a tipping point in the near future. When the interent surfaced 10 years ago, it was hailed as the World Wide Web. WWW is an acronym for the wild wild west???? Wild, wild west - that's the global understatement of the millenium.
Recently, my best friend Annie Thompson was the victim of a physical assualt. Her alcoholic husband Jim came home violent and drunk. He punched her several times leaving her with 2 bruises and a broken nose. Annie fled the house and came to my home in tears. She told me the whole story and I decided to exact my own form of revenge upon her asshole husband Jim. I got on the computer, went to my facebook page and posted the following as my status update...
"Jim Thompson beat his wife, gave her a sexually transmitted disease and has engaged in acts of bestiality." Actually, you could write just about anything with the insinuation of child pornography or molestation and BOOM, it's all over. Maybe a drugged date rape accusation or so and so is a heroin junkie. The possibilities are endless - you get the drift.
Rest assured, all this is merely hypothetical but I assure you this is a highly plausible scenario. This is a vicious attack with little or no recourse. After all, it could be a reference to some other Jim Thompson. I could argue that someone else knew my password and posted it. You could go the freedom of speech route.
My point - I think you'll see a rise in frivolous litigation concerning these matters. What if I decided to start an internet facebook club entitled, "Here is a list of the names and addresses of sexual predators in Bethesda, Ohio." Hell, I got my information form a govt. website and was just trying to fulfill my civic duty.
Something very similar happened in Wheeling in the pre-internet days (early 1990's). Does anyone remember when a vindictive individual spray painted a message about how another person "raped her son" on a vacant building wall next to a local church. I'm sure that made for some interesting conversation amongst the churchies at Sunday brunch.
Here's the point of all this. There's going to have to eventually be some global acceptance that when it comes to libelous/slanderous (via webcams) online activity, the perpetrators will increasingly not be held liable. You'll be able to say anything or post anything with absolute impunity. In a world that increasingly relies on the world wide web as a reliable source for information and the non-stop level of accompanying litigation, it seems as though these two forces will soon collide. For the most part, they already have. I suspect we'll see a tipping point in the near future. When the interent surfaced 10 years ago, it was hailed as the World Wide Web. WWW is an acronym for the wild wild west???? Wild, wild west - that's the global understatement of the millenium.
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