Tuesday, March 22, 2022

#1111. Eric Saferstein

Hmm... you say Alice Cooper is playing at Heinz Hall?  

For the love of dog, what's this world coming to?!?



Indeed, that's question numero uno.  What's the world coming to?

If you take an objective look at the arc of cybersecurity and the trajectory of generational warfare, I think it's pretty easy to deduce what lies upon the "event horizon."  The only significant questions become the traditional... who, what, when, where, how... and of course, why.


 


Eric Saferstein
sonofsaf

I’ve got a Jewish cock
That’s as hard as a rock
And I give it to Gigi
I'm a man with no heart
Murderous from the start
Bring on the FBI
I ain't terribly loud
But I’m painfully wise
Something you will see
Havin' fun all the time
As I work on my rhymes
So I now shall confide
A world of strife
Forming, warning

My name’s Eric Saferstein
Dominipede I’m the master mind
My name’s Eric Saferstein
I’ve got big plans
That are outta line

An asymmetric case
Of warfare to embrace
Freedom of speech is bloody
DHS wants to fight
They don’t think I’m alright
All about the big lie
They don’t like what I say
DHS ain’t alright
Reaching for new lows
On the extreme right
And so now I’ll confide
Trump is orange and not white
A world of strife
Forming, warning

My name’s Eric Saferstein
Dominipede I’m the master mind
My name’s Eric Saferstein
I’ve got big plans
That are outta line

 

Teenage Frankenstein
Alice Cooper

I'm the kid on the block
With my head made of rock
And I ain't got nobody
I'm the state of the art
Got a brain a la carte
I make the babies cry
I ain't one of the crowd
I ain't one of the guys
They just avoid me
They run and they hide
Are my colours too bright
Are my eyes set too wide
I spend my whole life
Burning, turning

I'm a teenage Frankenstein
The local freak with the twisted mind
I'm a teenage Frankenstein
These ain't my hands
And these legs ain't mine

Got a synthetic face
Got some scars and a brace
My hands are rough and bloody
I walk into the night
Women faint at the sight
I ain't no cutie-pie
I can't walk in the day
I must walk in the night
Stay in the shadows
Stay out of the light
Are my shoulders too wide
Is my head screwed on tight
I spend my whole life
Burning, turning

I'm a teenage Frankenstein
The local freak with the twisted mind
I'm a teenage Frankenstein
These ain't my hands
And these legs ain't mine


Gigi and I zipped down to Heinz Hall for Alice Cooper a couple nights ago.  Skipped the Buckcherry opener (ptl).  But we couldn't manage to score any tickets.  Most of the crowd was already inside the venue.  We were just about to give up and purchase them, but suddenly, those cultural district bastards prematurely closed the box office window.  Keep in mind, this was about 30 minutes before Alice Cooper even took the stage.  WTF?!?  So we went across the street to Redbeards and lamented with a scotch.

Feeling low and defeated, we gave it one last shot on our way back to the car.  Miraculously, somehow, we "slipped" in a side entrance.  I'm not going to dispense any details on this one.  So as to protect the guilty and the innocent.  Both us and them.

As always, the show was phenomenal.  They closed the set with one of my favorites... Teenage Frankenstein.  

For a superior "parody experience," feel free to deliberately mispronounce my last name.  I will not take offense.


Alice Cooper:

9-3-10, Classic Park, Eastlake, OH


8-12-11, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA


7-15-12, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA


6-23-13, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA


5-20-16, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA


9-1-17, KeyBank Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA


10-26-18, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA

3-20-22, Heinz Hall, Pittsburgh, PA


Please do not share this material with mankind.


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