#253. Holy Pfizer

My second Pfizer shot is scheduled for April 15, 2021.  I'm requesting that everyone keep me in their thoughts and prayers.  For some of us, Heinz Field can be a very intimidating atmosphere.  Imagine going to receive the vaccine at a location where everyone hates your guts.

Holy Pfizer
sonofsaf

Mmmmhhh mhmm, yeah yeah
Holy Pfizer
Antidote is strong shoot your arm and see
Oh an injection for thee

Are you wiser
Sanitary wipes are not a vaccine
Oh the truth from Saferstein

Get a shot today
Holy Pfizer

Limes and lemons
Stick the wing of the bat in the ranch or bleu
Covid is gonna get you
No doubt

Courtroom adjourning
You can blame the Chinese and stir up the fright
Your arm will be sore tonight

Get your shot today, shot today

Between pain virus dies
Yeah the shot will make you squeal
Division and the lies
Last great supper final meal

Holy Pfizer
You’ll go far but never get laid
Get your pets neutered and spayed

Trump, Trump
Trump’s not the wiser
Wisdom to impart if life was a dream
The presidential obscene, yeah

Holy Pfizer
Antidote is strong shoot your arm and see
Oh an injection for thee
No, no

Are you wiser
Sanitary wipes are not a vaccine
Oh the truth from Saferstein

Get your shot today, shot today
Get your shot today, shot today
Holy Pfizer, Floyd reviver
Just take the vaccine
Holy Pfizer, holy Pfizer
You will pay what’s due, China virus screw
Holy Pfizer
Holy Pfizer, yeah

Just a, shot away, shot away, shot away
Holy Pfizer, holy Pfizer, holy Pfizer mmhhmmm 

 

Holy Diver
Dio

Mmmmhhh mhmm, yeah yeah
Holy diver
You've been down too long in the midnight sea
Oh what's becoming of me

Ride the tiger
You can see his stripes but you know he's clean
Oh don't you see what I mean

Gotta get away
Holy diver

Shiny diamonds
Like the eyes of a cat in the black and blue
Something is coming for you
Look out

Race for the morning
You can hide in the sun 'till you see the light
Oh we will pray it's all right

Gotta get away, get away

Between the velvet lies
There's a truth that's hard as steel
The vision never dies
Life's a never ending wheel

Holy diver
You're the star of the masquerade
No need to look so afraid

Jump, jump
Jump on the tiger
You can feel his heart but you know he's mean
Some light can never be seen, yeah

Holy diver
You've been down too long in the midnight sea
Oh what's becoming of me
No, no

Ride the tiger
You can see his stripes but you know he's clean
Oh don't you see what I mean

Gotta get away, get away
Gotta get away, get away
Holy diver, soul survivor
You' re the one whose clean
Holy diver, holy diver
Never come to knew, coming after you
Holy diver
Holy diver, yeah

Alright, get away, get away, get away
Holy diver, holy diver, holy diver mmhhmmm

 

Heinz Field:

Unknown... but definitely exceeding 200.

Ronnie James Dio:

6-15-02, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA (w/ Motorhead and Iron Maiden)

8-8-03, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA (w/ Scorpions and Deep Purple)

Please do not share this information with anyone who has received the Covid Pfizer vaccine at Heinz Field.

 

#252. Gonzaga Ga Ga

March Madness alert from about a decade ago.  Back in 2012, Mason and I hit up the second round at Consol Energy Center for Gonzaga vs. West Virginia.  The Mountaineers got clobbered 77 to 54.  

My sign "Gonzaga Has Gonorrhea" did little to buoy the spirits of my fellow Mountaineers.  At the time, I was enamored with the concept of some diehard Bulldog fans making the long flight in from Spokane, Washington.  What if, by chance, it was a couple who had previously been impacted by any venereal disease.  Hey, fun fact for ya.  Twenty million new STD cases reported every year.  An even better sign would've been...

If you think Gonzaga 

Has Gonorrhea...

CLAP your hands.

Gonorrhea is often referred to as "the clap."

Fast forward to 2021, Gonzaga had the opportunity to put together an undefeated season (32-0)... but they lost in the final to Baylor 86-70, heaping shame upon themselves and anything "zag" related.  Including Zig Zag rolling papers, Zagnut candy bars, and Scary Spice whose sole purpose in life was to "zig a zig ahh."

I place all of the blame entirely on this dude for wearing a head band.  He shalt be forever known as "flexing honky."  Not to sound critical, but what a Zag-Off.

Gonzaga Ga Ga
sonofsaf

Pick up your phone and say what’s right
Tell all your friends we bought the fight
And Willy Wonk Oompa Loompa
We bulldogged them all Gonzaga

We played them all we watched in bars
We fucked the girls penetrated far
We drank carafes, and Frenched our fries
We stopped the steals we’ll never die

So fuck those bums they’re all young boys
The little kids who always annoy
They all will pay, the blow job fare
With great disdain and short shorts Nair

You wrote a rhyme, you took a shower
You gyro’d lambs you are not cowards
Gonzaga (Gonzaga)

All we hear is Gonzaga ga ga
Gonzaga goo goo
Gonzaga ga ga
All we hear is Gonzaga ga ga
Gonzaga blah blah
Gonzaga, what's new?
Gonzaga, Hitler hated Jews

We coked the nose, we caned the bars
Porn videos for hours and hours
The dark web feed is sometimes queer
The Bulldog fangs your greatest fear

So if you ever shit Depends
From chicken wings, menu we defend
‘Cause Trump’s a clown, and he might diss you
He says your fired this zombie ritual

You wrote a rhyme, you took a shower
You gyro’d lambs you are not cowards
Gonzaga (Gonzaga)

All we hear is Gonzaga ga ga
Gonzaga goo goo
Gonzaga ga ga
All we hear is Gonzaga ga ga
Gonzaga goo goo
Gonzaga ga ga
All we hear is Gonzaga ga ga
Gonzaga blah blah
Gonzaga, what's new?
Hitler hated Jews

You wrote a rhyme, you took a shower
You gyro’d lambs you are not cowards
Gonzaga (Gonzaga)

 

Radio Ga Ga
Queen

I'd sit alone and watch your light
My only friend through teenage nights
And everything I had to know
I heard it on my radio

You gave them all those old time stars
Through wars of worlds invaded by Mars
You made 'em laugh, you made 'em cry
You made us feel like we could fly

So don't become some background noise
A backdrop for the girls and boys
Who just don't know, or just don't care
And just complain when you're not there

You had your time, you had the power
You've yet to have your finest hour
Radio (radio)

All we hear is radio ga ga
Radio goo goo
Radio ga ga
All we hear is radio ga ga
Radio blah blah
Radio, what's new?
Radio, someone still loves you

We watch the shows, we watch the stars
On videos for hours and hours
We hardly need to use our ears
How music changes through the years

Let's hope you never leave, old friend
Like all good things, on you we depend
So stick around, 'cause we might miss you
When we grow tired of all this visual

You had your time, you had the power
You've yet to have your finest hour
Radio (radio)

All we hear is radio ga ga
Radio goo goo
Radio ga ga
All we hear is radio ga ga
Radio goo goo
Radio ga ga
All we hear is radio ga ga
Radio blah blah
Radio, what's new?
Someone still loves you

You had your time, you had the power
You've yet to have your finest hour
Radio (radio)

Queen (w/ Adam Lambert):

8-1-19, PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

Gonzaga:

3-15-12, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA

Feel free to share this material with Gonzaga fans, Adam Lambert, and/or all that is duly considered ga ga.

#251. John Boner

April 13, 2021 is the release date of former Republican Speaker of the House, John Boehner's latest book entitled "On the House: A Washington Memoir."  He made headlines this weekend when he explicitly told Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) to go fuck himself.  An ironically amusing book-selling strategy for a person who was by all means considered a "humble statesmen."

(There are zero pictures of John Boehner and the Orange Prolapse on the internet.  This is the closest I could find.)

Growing up I really didn't watch a lot of cartoons.  But my favorite, hands down, was Speed Racer.  I was all in for Chim Chim and the mysterious Racer X.  Just something about the trance-like animation and that cast of characters with their stilted, Americanized speech patterns.

If you find this parody to be overly offensive, just substitute the correct pronunciation of Johnny Boy's last name (pronounced Bainer).

 

John Boner
sonofsaf

Here he cums
Here cums John Boner
He's a creamin’ for feels
He's a creamin’ and he's hatin’ on all the Republicans

He's bashing fake news and you shouldn’t be surprised.
He's really fucking with the Trumpers is that wise

But when Fox News goes against him
And there's really rough comments too
You see the strife John Boner
And fuck Ted Cruz.

Blow John Boner
Blow John Boner
Blow John Boner, Blow!

Gets off starts crying as he slams the far right with attacks
He wants a freedom medal even though it sounds so whack
Censorship’s anything but dead.

Blow John Boner
Blow John Boner
Blow John Boner, Blow! 

 

Speed Racer
Nobuyoshi Koshibe

Here he comes
Here comes Speed Racer
He's a demon on wheels
He's a demon and he's gonna be chasin' after someone.

He's gainin' on you so you better look alive.
He's busy revvin' up the powerful Mach 5.

And when the odds are against him
And there's dangerous work to do
You bet your life Speed Racer
Will see it through.

Go Speed Racer
Go Speed Racer
Go Speed Racer, Go!

He's off and flyin' as he guns the car around the track
He's jammin' down the pedal like he's never comin' back
Adventure's waitin' just ahead.

Go Speed Racer
Go Speed Racer
Go Speed Racer, Go!

Favorite Speed Racer episode:

Probably The Fire Race (part 1) and (part 2).  They raced through a fucking volcano!  That's tough to beat. 

I tried to watch the 2008 Speed Racer movie starring Emile Hirsch but just couldn't wrap my head around it.  Seemed exhausting and unnecessarily tedious.  Maybe one day I'll reconsider and give it a shot.

Please do not share this information with former Congressman John Boehner (R-OH), Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) and/or former President Donald J. Trump.

#250. Thee With Sedition

I've never given much consideration to the notion that presidential campaigns actually give "refunds" to their political donors.

In 2020, the Biden campaign and the DNC made roughly 37,000 online refunds, returning $5.6 million.

In 2020, the Trump campaign and the RNC made roughly 530,000 online refunds, returning $64.3 million.

This fundraising technique is known as a "money bomb."  Which basically means using any means possible to raise as much money as possible in the shortest amount of time.  The most vile case being those little electronic boxes for "unknowingly recurring" donations that get conveniently charged to your credit card.  People assume they're getting a limited edition gold or silver dollar featuring the face of the Orange Prolapse.  But if you read the fine print in the 3 page long disclaimer section, what you end up getting is multiple recurring charges on your monthly statement.

It's a sad story for all those hard working patriots (a/k/a naive dumbshits) who got totally bilked at the small hands of the master grifter.  Hey I thought Trumpy Bear cost $49.  But they ended up charging me 5 payments + s/h.  My lovable stuffed companion ended up costing me over $250!

As someone on the receiving end of all those email contribution requests, I'd say that at the height of the campaign in September and October it was about a 12:1 ratio (Trump vs. Biden) on a daily basis.  I came up with a term for this a while back --- polivangelism.  In a nutshell, it's political fundraising on "televangelistic steroids."

With the unabashed explosion of online, nationwide political fundraising, I suspect that during the next election you will see "money bomb" accusations becoming more and more common.  The calls for an investigation or mere allegations of fundraising impropriety are an ideal tactic.  Especially for high profile Senate candidates who are raising a shit-ton of cash.  It's easy.  You just "find" some little old lady in an Oregon nursing home, barely surviving on a fixed income/social security, suffering from a variety of chronic ailments... and then her bank account gets emptied out by a wealthy candidate for U.S. Senate on the other side of the country.  Conceive your negative attack ad around this specific premise.  Wouldn't be too shocked if political ads of this nature popped up in a 2022 high stakes Senate race.  Say, Pennsylvania perhaps.

If I was an upstart candidate who's exceeding expectations in the fundraising department (Hint: the guy who married us raised 3.9 million in the first quarter of 2021), I'd take some time and develop a rapid response strategy for this specific type of political attack.  A money bomb allegation would be a phenomenal way to neutralize your opponent's biggest advantage.  Uh, you know... money.

 

Thee With Sedition
sonofsaf

Just for what it’s worth
I fear him in the nude
The look on his orange face
He’s such a god damn tool
He fucked us once again
We cannot get along
Connect all of the dots
A fat ass shithead truly never grown
A tweet comes from his phone
We hope he’ll die one day
Asshole who wasn’t gay

What a bitch
What a clown
Always whined in that D.C. town
Never you
Always me
He tweets to all his friends
What a bitch
What a clown
Always whined in that D.C. town
Always me
Never free
So I charge thee with sedition

He lives off all the lies
And drinking diet fizz
Lets others take the fall
The kinda douche he is
We always see his name
On buildings constantly
Tight whities filled with shit
A guilty man we’ll hate beyond the grave
Nobody truly cares
His eyes Big Mac cheesy
Filet ‘O Fish for me

What a bitch
What a clown
Always whined in that D.C. town
Never you
Always me
He tweets to all his friends
What a bitch
What a clown
Always whined in that D.C. town
Always me
Never free
So I charge thee with sedition

What a bitch
What a clown
Always whined in that D.C. town
Never you
Always me
He tweets to all his friends
What a bitch
What a clown
Always whined in that D.C. town

Always me
Never free
So I charge thee with sedition

Never free
Never me
So I dub thee unforgiven

Always me
Never free
So I charge thee with sedition

Always me
Never free
So I charge thee with sedition

Cable TV
I'll cable you
So I charge thee with sedition

Always me
Never free
So I charge thee with sedition

 

The Unforgiven
Metallica

New blood joins this earth
And quickly he's subdued
Through constant pained disgrace
The young boy learns their rules
With time the child draws in
This whipping boy done wrong
Deprived of all his thoughts
The young man struggles on and on he's known
A vow unto his own
That never from this day
His will they'll take away

What I've felt
What I've known
Never shined through in what I've shown
Never be
Never see
Won't see what might have been
What I've felt
What I've known
Never shined through in what I've shown
Never free
Never me
So I dub thee unforgiven

They dedicate their lives
To running all of his
He tries to please them all
This bitter man he's
Throughout his life the same
He's battled constantly
This fight he cannot win
A tired man they see no longer cares
The old man then prepares
To die regretfully
That old man here's me

What I've felt
What I've known
Never shined through in what I've shown
Never be
Never see
Won't see what might have been
What I've felt
What I've known
Never shined through in what I've shown
Never free
Never me
So I dub thee unforgiven

What I've felt
What I've known
Never shined through in what I've shown
Never be
Never see
Won't see what might have been
What I've felt
What I've known
Never shined through in what I've shown

Never free
Never me
So I dub thee unforgiven

Never free
Never me
So I dub thee unforgiven

You labeled me
I'll label you
So I dub thee unforgiven

Never free
Never me
So I dub thee unforgiven

You labeled me
I'll label you
So I dub thee unforgiven

Never free
Never me
So I dub thee unforgiven

Metallica:

11-18-88, Cincinnati Gardens, Cincinnati, OH

6-15-88, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA

6-22-88, Rubber Bowl, Akron, OH

4-16-89, Hara Arena, Dayton, OH

3-26-97, Civic Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

10-18-18, PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

Feel free to share this material with the Democratic and Republican National Committees and/or political hacks.

#249. Sweet Noem South Dakota

With hate crimes on the rise during a global pandemic, and while most Republicans are focused on Jim Crow-styled voter suppression, Governor Kristi Noem is doubling down on anti-transgender legislation.  She's obviously searching for that key signature issue which could propel her to victory in a crowded future presidential primary. 

(Assuming she throws her "cock in the ring," Noem will be begging for an endorsement from the Orange Prolapse.) 

 

I don't do much in the realm of photoshopping.  But here's a proposal.  All future digital pictures of Kristi Noem should include a superimposed picture of a small, flaccid penis in the appropriate location.  Keep it tasteful though.  No hard-ons.

(I'm guessing that nobody in this photo has encountered gender identity issues.  Just a hunch.)

 

 

Dedicated to Kristi Noem's three children: Kassidy, Kennedy and Booker.  Oh yeah, and husband Byron.

 

 

Sweet Noem South Dakota
sonofsaf

One, two, three
Fuck it up

Freedom I keep yearnin’
Being transgender is a sin
Givin’ blow jobs with my left hand
South paw Dakoty is my friend and I’m gonna defend, yes

Well I heard Mister Trump likes me for sure
When the Orange Prolapse comes to town
But we hope he ends up dismembered
Us Midwest folk think he is a clown anyhow

Sweet Noem South Dakota
Where the lies are so true
Sweet Noem South Dakota
Lord she’s cumming to fuck you

The Dems they hate me as their governor (boo-hoo-hoo)
Hate me more if I was a Jew
Never too late to discriminate
Do the coloreds bother you?
Voting booth

Sweet Noem South Dakota
Where the lies are so true
Sweet Noem South Dakota
Lord she’s cumming to fuck you
Here I cum, South Dakota

Now Donald Trump has got the Trumpers
And he’s been known to screw ‘em all for you (even Jews)
Lord I’m thinking in as much
I’d suck his dick if I was asked to
But I’d Bobbitt you.

Sweet Noem South Dakota
Where the lies are so true
Sweet Noem South Dakota
Lord she’s cumming to fuck you

Sweet Noem South Dakota (oh, sweet Noem)
Where the lies are so true
Kristi Noem will fuck you
Sweet Noem South Dakota (lordy)
Lord she’s cumming to fuck you, yeah, yeah
My family is the answer

Sweet Home Alabama
Lynyrd Skynyrd

One, two, three
Turn it up

Big wheels keep on turnin'
Carry me home to see my kin
Singin' songs about the south-land
I miss Alabamy once again and I think it's a sin, yes

Well I heard Mister Young sing about her
Well I heard ol' Neil put her down
Well I hope Neil Young will remember
A southern man don't need him around anyhow

Sweet home Alabama
Where the skies are so blue
Sweet home Alabama
Lord I'm comin' home to you

In Birmingham they love the governor (boo-hoo-hoo)
Now we all did what we could do
Now Watergate does not bother me
Does your conscience bother you?
Tell the truth

Sweet home Alabama
Where the skies are so blue
Sweet home Alabama (oh yeah)
Lord I'm comin' home to you
Here I come, Alabama

Now Muscle Shoals has got the Swampers
And they've been known to pick a song or two (yes they do)
Lord they get me off so much
They pick me up when I'm feelin' blue
Now how about you?

Sweet home Alabama
Where the skies are so blue
Sweet home Alabama
Lord I'm comin' home to you

Sweet home Alabama (oh, sweet home)
Where the skies are so blue
And the governor's true
Sweet home Alabama (lordy)
Lord I'm comin' home to you, yeah, yeah
Montgomery's got the answer

 

Surprisingly, I've never seen Lynyrd Skynyrd in concert.  And they've played Pittsburgh a grand total of 30 times plus a couple shows out Jamboree in 'dem 'der Hills.  However, for what it's worth, I have simultaneously scalped and tailgated at a few of them.  Just never went inside.  Out of all the Star Lake crowds, I'd have to say that Skynyrd was probably the most violent and intoxicated.  Long day and night for the Burgettstown division of Blue Lives Matter. 

Sweet Noem South Dakota is actually my second parody of Skynyrd's "Sweet Home Alabama."  I'm also responsible for "Slave State Panorama" which is equally abhorrent.

Feel free to share this information with Governor Kristi Noem (R-SD).

#248. Sery Kim

Congressman Ron Wright (R-TX) died from Covid-related complications back in February.  He represented the 6th district, mostly the Southern area below Forth Worth and Dallas.  His death left a vacant seat in the House of Representatives.

A slew of candidates from both parties will be on the ballot for the special election on May 1.  Among them, a former member of the Orange Prolapse's administration.  Sery Kim is a Korean American.  

(Needs more lipstick)

She recently came under fire from 2 Korean members of Congress for making incendiary comments regarding fellow Asians.  

“I don’t want them here at all,” Kim said of potential Chinese immigrants. “They steal our intellectual property, they give us coronavirus, they don’t hold themselves accountable.”

“And quite frankly, I can say that because I’m Korean,” she added.

Fascinating to watch how minorities are willing to scapegoat each other in an effort to obtain power and seize control.  Hey, internal ethnic and religious divisions are as old as society itself.  Make me wonder if anyone has ever explored the notion of exploiting Trump's "outlandish ginger identity."  

The U.S. leads the world in redheads.  About 5 percent of the population.  Somewhere between 10-15 million.  I just think it would make for an amusing "even his fellow gingers hate his guts" narrative.

 

Sery Kim
sonofsaf

Never IRA’d my Roth
Never able to get off
Never felt it in my tush
Never smoked the Hindu Kush

Always fondling small ball sacks
Always call a goat a yak
Always memorize what’s great
Always growl Chuck Billy’s fate

Left in hell the libtards burn
Left the judge I will adjourn
Left the lord for goodness sake
Left the hypnotic clambake

Up your ass God I eschew
Up in chairs you’re not a Jew
Up for some twat fu manchu
Up sit down a pew for you

I wish to cast a Chinese pall
Cause I’m Korean bada bim
If I allude without a damn care
and change all the norms
Sery Kim

And we’re all put on display

Judgements are lowly and here to stay
Tossing the salad my ass ye shall play
Pimping my daughter is showing her love
Sampled the jams, jellies, and studs

Violence is normally heaped upon me
No one to fuck and nowhere to pee
Confesses for salsa a Mexican queen
If I I feel alone maybe it’s a dream

I wish to cast a Chinese pall
Cause I’m Korean bada bim
If I allude without a damn care
and change all the norms
Sery Kim 

 

Limb by Limb
Phish

Never want my hand cut off
Never want a hacking cough
Never need a cliffside push
Never turn my brain to mush

Always give me what I lack
Always take the best parts back
Always recognize your fate
Always just a moment late

Left is where I always turn
Left is how I'm forced to learn
Left the route my walking takes
Left alone with my mistakes

Up against the person who
Up 'til now I never knew
Up from hell the answer blew
Up or down it's up to you

Drop me off the Chinese wall
And peel my fingers off the rim
I come unglued while in midair
and land to reform
Limb by limb

And I am taken far away

Lingering slowly melting away
Tossed with the salad and baled with the hay
Pooling the water that drips from above
Trampled by lambs pecked by the dove

Silence is suddenly smothering me
Nothing I touch and nothing I see
Possesses a pulse or is fit to be seen
If I am a drone then where is my queen?

Drop me off the chinese wall
and peel my fingers off the rim
I come unglued while in mid-air
and land to reform
limb by limb

 

 
Phish:

12-8-94, CSU Convocation Center, Cleveland, OH
6-20-95, Blossom Music Center, Cleveland, OH
11-24-95, Civic Arena, Pittsburgh, PA
8-12-96, Deer Creek Music Center, Noblesville, IN
10-18-96, Civic Arena, Pittsburgh, PA
8-13-97, Star Lake Amphitheatre, Burgettstown, PA
12-5-97, CSU Convocation Center, Cleveland, OH
7-31-98, Polaris Amphitheater, Columbus, OH
11-13-98, CSU Convocation Center, Cleveland, OH
7-29-03, Post Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
6-18-09, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
6-23-12, Niagara Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
7-19-17, Peterson Events Center, Pittsburgh, PA
6-19-19, Blossom Music Center, Cuyahoga Falls, OH
12-4-19, Peterson Events Center, Pittsburgh, PA

Trey Anastasio:

2-25-11, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA

Please do not share this information with Sery Kim, former President Donald J. Trump, and any of the candidates running for the open House seat in the 6th District of Texas.

#247. You're Out!

Welcome to the political title fight of century - the race for governor of Georgia in 2022.  The rematch.

(White man vs. Black woman)

Georgia Governor Brian Kemp has made it clear that he's "not backing down" to Stacey Abrams, Joe Biden, and the radical left cancel culture.  Kemp has doubled down on Jim Crow and unwittingly cornered himself.  If he capitulates on any aspect of the legislation that he signed into law...well uh, he's totally fucked.  Advantage Dems!  If I was the Georgia Democratic party, I'd run a statewide paid political advertisement that goes something like this.  

Instantly recognizable "Wipe Out" background music - the vintage late 60's sound of The Surfaris classic. 

Put together a simplistic, sequential narrative of Governor Brian Kemp's voter suppression legislation in a Family Feud format.  The question:  Things that Governor Kemp doesn't want ordinary Georgians to do while standing in line and exercising their right to vote.

1.  Have something to eat (won't let voters eat).  Strike One!

2.  Have something to drink (won't let voters drink).  Strike Two!

3.  Take a breath (won't let voters breathe).

 

Strike Three!  Yerrrr OUT!

The final picture would have a superimposed Brian Kemp with his knee on George Floyd's neck.  Yeah... I know, it's a little bit harsh.  But what the hell!  Desperate times call for desperate measures.  After all, it's merely the fate of planetary Democracy at stake.  

If you think #3 is too extreme, just replace it with "exercise their right to vote" (won't let people vote).

Yerrrr Out! (Instrumental)
sonofsaf

Wipe Out (Instrumental)
The Surfaris

In addition to television, it would make for a great quickie radio spot.  

Feel free to share this material with high stakes Democratic political operatives.

#246. I Boycott

The Delta and Coca Cola CEO's spoke out against Governor Brian Kemp's voter suppression (aka Jim Crow legislation).  But it was MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred who really stepped up to the plate.  At my suggestion, he removed the 2021 All Star game from Cobb County, GA.  Good for him.  You gotta start somewhere.  Establish a precedent.  Hold politicians accountable.  Make the statement.  Send a clear message. 

And of course that miscreant Brian Kemp immediately goes on Fox News and lies through his teeth about how the legislation actually "expands" voting rights.  And how it's a problem because of the deviant, woke cancel culture.  His behavior truly sickens me.  That thick, yokel, Southern redneck accent doesn't help matters either.

(Kemp offering his blind loyalty to the Orange Prolapse.)

This entire saga reminds me of when I launched my own protest/boycott of Mellon Bank way back in 2003.  Televangelist Benny Hinn was using Mellon Arena to host one of his infamous crusades.  So I rented a passenger van and assembled together a spirited, but admittedly rag-tag, group of a dozen individuals.  We made our signs and zipped up to protest the event.  In lieu of compensation, I fed them cheap beer and DiCarlo's pizza.  To some extent, it worked.

We didn't get Mellon to nix their subsidiary Mell-Hinn.  But we did get the attention of the media and it became that evening's lead story for the local evening news.  The premise of my argument was that a con artist faith healer shouldn't be permitted to host an event in a tax payer, municipally funded arena.  If he wants to appear in the Burgh and defraud all of the evangelical yinzers, he should be forced to do it in a megachurch.  Or even better, set up a carnival tent at his own expense, preferably outside the city limits.

Furthermore, Mellon should be held accountable for what goes on inside the arena.  If you stand to benefit from the publicity derived via the naming rights, your company should be held directly accountable for what happens inside that venue.  The objective being to keep out organizations like the KKK.  Or in this day and age, Oath Keepers and Proud Boys.

Maybe me and Pirates owner Bob Nutting could bury the hatchet.  Get together and figure out a way to snag the All Star game for the Burgh.  Logic would dictate that PNC Park is among the top possibilities.  Hint: I'd push the Roberto Clemente angle... hard.

I Boycott (instrumental)
sonofsaf

I Robot (instrumental)
Alan Parsons Project

Alan Parsons Project:

11-13-18, Carnegie Music Hall of Homestead, Pittsburgh, PA (bucket list concert)

Please do not share this information with Governor Brian Kemp (R-GA), MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred, televangelist Benny Hinn, Coca Cola President and CEO James Quincey, Delta Air Lines CEO Ed Bastian, and/or employees of Mellon Bank.

#245. JuJu Just Wants To Have Fun

I've seen a few of the JuJu Smith-Schuster TikTok videos.  The innovative dance moves, the Corvette calisthenics and scantily clad workout videos, the tug of war with a lion from the Pittsburgh Zoo, etc.  But I really don't make watching them a habit.

(JuJu and Eric Safron, er uh, Ebron.  Hey, it could have been worse.  At least we were up big in the 4th.)

Local sports talk phenom Mark Madden really takes his antics personally.  So here's an idea.  The Super Genius should consider turning the tables on JuJu... and "out-celebretizing" him.  Maybe hire someone to do some copycat, deep fake videos of him doing JuJu reenactments.  Now granted, considering the mammoth physique discrepancy and skin color variation, this would likely require a team of the best computer programming experts that Carnegie Mellon University has to offer.   But it'd definitely be worth the cost of admission. 

Thank god the internet is free.  This coming from your friendly neighborhood atheist.

 

 

JuJu Just Wants To Have Fun
sonofsaf
 
Pittsburgh’s home, on a yinzer night
Mike Tomlin says "When you gonna play the game right?"
Oh Rooney here, you are a son of a gun
And JuJu, he wants to have fun
Oh JuJu just wants to have fun...
Chicken wings, from Big Shot Bob’s tonight
The poultry asks “Do you wanna spice up your life?”
Oh Rooney here, he wants a fish sandwich bun
But JuJu he wants to have fun
Oh JuJu just wants to have
That's all he really wants
Some fun
He should catch the ball and run
Oh JuJu, he wants to have fun
Ho hoo JuJu just wants to have (JuJu) fun (he wants)
(Wants to have fun)
(JuJu)
(Wants to have)

The toys of the media social
Are the ways to meet and impress all of the girls
Oh can I switch from nineteen to number one
Oh JuJu just wants to have fun
Ho hoo JuJu just wants to have fun
That's all he really wants
Is some fun
He should catch the ball and run
Oh JuJu, just wants to have fun
Oh JuJu just wants to have (JuJu) fun (he wants)
(Wants to have fun)
(JuJu)
(Wants to have)
He just wants, he just wants to (JuJu)
He just wants, he just wants to (JuJu just wants to have fun)
Oh JuJu
JuJu just wants to have fun
(Just wants, he just wants to)
He just wants to, he just wants to (JuJu)
He just wants, he just wants to (JuJu just wants to have fun)
JuJu, JuJu just wants to have fun
He should catch the
He should catch the ball and run
Oh, he should catch the ball and run
Oh, JuJu
JuJu just wants to have fun
He just wants, he just wants to (JuJu)
He just wants, he just wants to (JuJu just wants to have fun)
Oh, JuJu
JuJu just wants to have fun
(He just wants to, he just wants to)
He should catch the
He should catch the ball and run (he just wants, he just wants to)
Oh, he should catch the ball and run (oh, JuJu)
(JuJu just wants to have fun)
(He just wants, he just wants to)

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
Cyndi Lauper
 
I come home, in the mornin' light
My mother says "When you gonna live your life right?"
Oh momma dear, we're not the fortunate ones
And girls, they wanna have fun
Oh girls just wanna have fun...
The phone rings, in the middle of the night
My father yells "What you gonna do with your life?"
Oh daddy dear, you know you're still number one
But girls they wanna have fun
Oh girls just wanna have
That's all they really want
Some fun
When the workin' day is done
Oh girls, they wanna have fun
Ho hoo girls just wanna have (girls) fun (they want)
(Wanna have fun)
(Girls)
(Wanna have)

Some boys take a beautiful girl
And hide her away from the rest o' the world
I wanna be the one to walk in the sun
Oh girls, they wanna have fun
Ho hoo girls just wanna have
That's all they really want
Is some fun
When the workin' day is done
Oh girls, they wanna have fun
Oh girls just wanna have (girls) fun (they want)
(Wanna have fun)
(Girls)
(Wanna have)
They just want, they just wanna (girls)
They just want, they just wanna (girls just wanna have fun)
Oh girls
Girls just wanna have fun
(Just want, they just wanna)
They just wanna, they just wanna (girls)
They just want, they just wanna (girls just wanna have fun)
Girls, girls just wanna have fun
When the workin'
When the workin' day is done
Oh, when the workin' day is done
Oh, girls
Girls just wanna have fun
They just want, they just wanna (girls)
They just want, they just wanna (girls just wanna have fun)
Oh, girls
Girls just wanna have fun
(They just wanna, they just wanna)
When the workin'
When the working day is done (they just want, they just wanna)
Oh, when the working day is done (oh, girls)
(Girls just wanna have fun)
(They just want, they just wanna)

Cyndi Lauper:

8-11-18, PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, PA (Opened for Rod Stewart.  She should writing a song about psoriasis and call it "Cosentyx."  (Fans would be exiting the venue... "Oh yeah, Cyndi gave us a Cosentyx encore.  Totally bad ass!  Epic!).

Please do not share this information with Steelers receivers JuJu Smith-Schuster, Eric Ebron, radio personality Mark Madden, and/or Cyndi Lauper.

#244. Miller Queen

Former presidential senior Stephen Miller is easily the most despised member of the Orange Prolapse's administration.  And that's saying something.

(Notice how the smarmy piece of shit lurks in the background.  So which one is Stephen Miller?  Take your pick.)

So now Miller's hitting the conservative news circuit in a desperate attempt to rehabilitate his image and maintain relevancy.  In light of the current problems at the Southern border, he's doubling down on the draconian Trump policies.  More wall, more criminality, more child separation, more cages... in essence, more evil.

Miller Queen
sonofsaf

He keeps his dick in a condom
All the vaginal distress
“Wanna get laid“, he says
Just like Romeo and Juliet
Hates all the ebony
Mazel Tov obscenity
Partner in crime solicitation
Just don’t ask why

Stock the bar with Covid tests
Defense and massive debt
Hey you had better think twice

He’s the Miller Queen
Bald fucker, very mean
Marital aid and dildo scream
Caging kids is not so kind
All the time

He’s conceited not so nice
Strictly kosher afraid to fight
What a guy

Carries pads for menstruation
Butt truth be told he won’t confess
Bathroom gas station
Swallows cum doesn’t make a mess
Has a big vagina
Went down on some coal miners
Iller than the mentally
The ass hole of mankind
Candy came chocolatey from Sarris (chocolatey) *
Sci-fi he is the greatest
Dungeons and dragons roll the dice

He’s the Miller Queen
Bald fucker, very mean
Marital aid and dildo scream
Caging kids is not so kind
All the time

In high school class was a total spaz
A scared fuckin’ pussy n’at
Giving me an allergic reaction
Voluntarily up his ass
This gloomy doomy punk’s a child, child
He’s all in to screw you

He’s the Miller Queen
Bald fucker, very mean
Marital aid and dildo scream
Caging kids is not so kind
All the time

He’s conceited not so nice
Strictly kosher afraid to fight
What a guy
Oh what a guy

 

Killer Queen
Queen

She keeps her Moet et Chandon
In her pretty cabinet
"Let them eat cake", she says
Just like Marie Antoinette
A built-in remedy
For Khrushchev and Kennedy
At anytime an invitation
You can't decline

Caviar and cigarettes
Well versed in etiquette
Extraordinarily nice

She's a Killer Queen
Gunpowder, gelatine
Dynamite with a laser beam
Guaranteed to blow your mind
Anytime

Recommended at the price
Insatiable an appetite
Wanna try?

To avoid complications
She never kept the same address
In conversation
She spoke just like a baroness
Met a man from China
Went down to Geisha Minah
Then again incidentally
If you're that way inclined

Perfume came naturally from Paris (naturally)
For cars she couldn't care less
Fastidious and precise

She's a Killer Queen
Gunpowder, gelatine
Dynamite with a laser beam
Guaranteed to blow your mind
Anytime

Drop of a hat she's as willing as
Playful as a pussy cat
Then momentarily out of action
Temporarily out of gas
To absolutely drive you wild, wild
She's all out to get you

She's a Killer Queen
Gunpowder, gelatine
Dynamite with a laser beam
Guaranteed to blow your mind
Anytime

Recommended at the price
Insatiable an appetite
Wanna try?
You wanna try

Queen w/ Adam Lambert:

7-31-19, PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

One of the last big concerts at PPG before Covid came along and shoved the entertainment industry up Trump's ass.  Definitely exceeded my expectations.  Lambert brought his own distinct style to the band without going overboard.

* - Sarris Candies is a nostalgic, er uh, extremist right-wing ice cream parlor in Canonsburg, PA.  

The ongoing joke in the community... Why does Sarris refuse to stock Nestle or Hershey chocolate bars?  

Because they're not white.

(A hair-netted Don Jr. savors a bite from a "Jim Crow" chocolate salted pretzel.  Yum.)

 

 

Please do not share this information with Stephen Miller, former President Donald J. Trump, and/or Sarris Candies employees/ownership.

#243. Gotti Gotti

Good thing I check the Fox News website everyday.  Otherwise, I wouldn't be aware that on this day in history (April 2), infamous New York mobster John Gotti was sentenced to life in prison for murder and racketeering.

I lack any ties to the New York mob.  However, Hesh Rafkin from neighboring Jersey and I seem to share a connection of sorts.  So I composed a John Gotti parody with a Sopranos-styled twist.

(Milli and/or Vanilli got absolutely NUTHIN' on John Parr.  

Gotta love the last ditch attempt to mix in crowd applause as this rockin' performance fades out.)

 

 

Gotti Gotti
sonofsaf

Just breakin’ balls don’t be mocking, Little Paulie you should know
Vito’s gay that’s kinda shocking, lawns need mowed Sal Vitro

Blundetto “Jackie Gleason said boy are you fat”
Do you like to see when some rats die?
Jackie Gleason said boy are you fat
Maybe life’s a victimless crime (life’s a victimless crime)

Gotti Gotti, Paulie Walnuts, Beansie
Captain Ralphie, vig and squeeze
A Gotti Gotti, Gotti, I have Gotti Gotti ties
Guys aren’t wise, that Big Pussy, Mommy!  Chrissy in the zone
Knight in satin White Russian me, irritable bowel syndrome

Blundetto “Jackie Gleason said boy are you fat”
Do you like to see when some rats die?
Jackie Gleason said boy are you fat
Maybe life’s a victimless crime (life’s a victimless crime)
Gotti Gotti, John and Ginny, Beansie

Captain Ralphie, vig and squeeze me, love homemade wine
Moulinyan’s are brown, Vin was a private eye
Hear the cries being shot with a gun
Acid scarred, feel me right, order coke and a slice
Cause I have Gotti, Gotti, Gotti ties

Jackie Gleason said boy are you fat
Maybe life’s a victimless crime (life’s a victimless crime)
Gotti Gotti, John and Ginny, Beansie

Captain Ralphie, vig and squeeze
A Gotti Gotti, Gotti, I have Gotti Gotti (ties)
Gotti Gotti, John and Ginny, Beansie
Gotti Gotti, Dr. Melfi, love homemade wine
Gotti Gotti, Dr. Melfi, Beansie

Naughty Naughty
John Parr

I put my hand on your stocking, I was movin' nice and slow
Let my fingers do the walking, and there ain't far to go

Don't tell me "I don't want to be a girl like that"
Do you want to see a grown man cry?
You don't want to be a girl like that
Baby this could be the first time (this could be the first time)

Naughty naughty, loud and bawdy, tease me
Take it easy, hug and squeeze
A naughty naughty, naughty, I'm a naughty naughty guy
Bedroom eyes, they undress me, take me, cut me to the bone
Lace and satin pressed against me, should we call a chaperon

Don't tell me "I don't want to be a girl like that"
Do you want to see a grown man cry
You don't want to be a girl like that
Baby this could be the first time (this could be the first time)
Naughty naughty, cute and horny, tease me

Take it easy, hug and squeeze me, love outta line
With your hair hung down, and your dress ridin' high
And your eyes burning hot like the sun
Kiss me hard, squeeze me tight, gonna love you alright
Cause I'm a naughty, naughty, naughty guy

You don't want to be a girl like that
Baby this could be the first time (this could be the first time)
Naughty naughty, cute and horny, tease me

Take it easy, hug and squeeze
A naughty naughty, naughty, I'm a naughty naughty (guy)
Naughty naughty, cute and horny, tease me
Naughty naughty, loud and bawdy, love outta line
Naughty naughty, loud and bawdy, tease me

Never seen John Parr live in concert.  Although during my daily walks through downtown Pittsburgh, I must say, he has many a doppleganger.  The mid-80's Parr mullet (with varying degrees of feathered plumage) is actually quite prevalent.

Please do not share this information with John Parr, the cast of the Sopranos, and/or members of El Cosa Nostra.

#242. Cumming Noem

The 2024 Republican primary is a ways off.  But if I had to wager a guess, I think it'll pan out like this.    

Two women --- Governor Kristi Noem and former UN Ambassador/Governor Nikki Haley.  

Two men --- Senator Ted Cruz and former Secretary of State Mike Pompeo.

It'd make for a great UFC coed double headliner.  Now keep in mind, there will be others.  Rand Paul, Josh Hawley, maybe even Donald Trump Jr.  But I just don't see any of them as viable.  Maybe credible  enough to take the debate stage.  'Cause hey, it's the Republican primary on Fox.  Cum all ye faithful.  Everyone's a winner.  But what you really need is the Fox News seal of approval.

Regardless, Governor Noem is trying to appeal to the Trump base.  And what does that entail?  Yep, pursuing anti-transgender legislation.  Just what the country is hoping for during these tumultuous times.  That and Jim Crow legislation of course.  South Dakota being 85% white... aggressive voter suppression might not be worth the effort.  Best to stick with the biblical-oriented sexuality themes of sin and repression.  Advantage Noem!  

Cumming Noem
Scorpions

Beer after beer ‘bout to explode
She's gotta pee here inside a stall
Libtards, they think I’m a dyke
Cumming Noem

Gay after gay porn I download
Want to be a star a job that I’ll blow
Will do whatever you like
I got no soul

Fuck both my teats, stick your fist in with care
I’m so devout, you’re a queer say a prayer
A liar I dream about more glory holes
The more cocks to blow

Beer after beer ‘bout to explode
She's gotta pee here drinks take a toll
Libtards, they think I’m a dyke
Cumming Noem
Cumming Noem

Libtards, they think I’m a dyke
Cumming Noem
Cumming Noem
Like cumming Noem
Cumming Noem
Like cumming Noem
Cumming Noem
Like cumming Noem
Cumming Noem
Like cumming Noem
Cumming Noem

Coming Home
Scorpions

Year after year out on the road
It's great to be here to see you all
I know, for me it is like
Coming home

Day after day out on the road
There's no place too far that we wouldn't go
We go wherever you like
To rock'n roll

Jump on the seats, put your hands in the air
Give me a shout, let me hear you're out there
The wilder you scream for some more rock'n roll
The higher we'll go

Year after year out on the road
It's great to be here to rock you all
I know, for me it is like
Coming home
Coming home

I know, for me it is like
Coming home
Coming home
Like coming home
Coming home
Like coming home
Coming home
Like coming home
Coming home
Like coming home
Coming home

Scorpions concerts:

9-21-88, Hara Arena, Dayton, OH

6-15-88, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA

6-23-88, Rubber Bowl, Akron, OH

6-15-02, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

Please do not share this information with Governor Kristi Noem (R-SD).  Feel free to share this material with Nikki Haley (call me --- I have an idea for an impromptu Curry Time, Hammer Time, Haley Time marketing bit.  Could distinguish you from the rest of the pack without alienating the Orange Prolapse adherents).

#241. Like Winning Gaetz

History is replete with scenarios where "the mighty have fallen."  However, recent history would seem to indicate that "the hair of the mighty who have fallen... has actually risen."

For example:

(2008 mugshot)

Over a decade later:

Gotta be totally honest here.  When the news of the underage sex-trafficking broke, it was me who was heartbroken.  Because I initially thought it was a 17 year old boy.  Not a girl.  Yeah, I know.  I know.  That is admittedly pretty sick.  At the very least, somewhat demented.

Fascinating how the sole vote, the only vote against a 2017 human trafficking bill in the entire House and Senate came from the Floridian clown with all the cum in his hair.  Just another crazy coinkydink I suppose.

Like Winning Gaetz
sonofsaf

Saved by the bell silly screeches
A total mutt no dreads
You lead me into silence
Deplorable violence

Does it just feel like winning Gaetz?
You’re failing in the motherland
Does it just feel like winning Gaetz?
You will walk alone by the Black Muddy River

Like Spinning Plates
Radiohead

While you make pretty speeches
I'm being cut to shreds
You feed me to the lions
A delicate balance

And this just feels like spinning plates
I'm living in cloud cuckoo land
And this just feels like spinning plates
My body is floating down the muddy river

Radiohead:

8-8-01, Blossom Music Center, Cuyahoga Falls, OH

7-26-18, PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

Please do not share this information with Matt Gaetz (R-FL).

#240. Matt Gaetz

Been a while since my last Matt Gaetz parody, ironically entitled Gaetz Ordeal (Devo's Gates of Steel).   For the near future, I suspect this could be the gift that keeps on giving

You gotta wonder if Matt Gaetz (R-FL) is thinking to himself... maybe I should've asked the Orange Prolapse for one of those special presidential pardons.  Issued behind the scenes.  Incognito of course.  I doubt it but who really knows.  Maybe Gaetz has a golden ticket in his back pocket or hidden somewhere in that fucked up, slicked back hairdo.

Judging by the company he keeps, I'd say there's a 33% chance.

Matt Gaetz
sonofsaf

Rearranging, day by day
Those hooters get bigger teenage way
The boobs make me shiver
My own playground
The beaver’s moistened Wynona’s tight
Matt Gaetz… Matt Gaetz…
Matt Gaetz… Matt Gaetz…

More destabling, violence knows
The dude abides
Extortion grows
Human snot from big nosed Jews
For what it’s never worth
Welcome the fake news

Matt Gaetz… Matt Gaetz…
Matt Gaetz… Matt Gaetz…

Matt Gaetz… Matt Gaetz…
Matt Gaetz… Matt Gaetz…

The Wait
Killing Joke

Motives changing, day to day
The fire increases, masks decay
I look at the river
White foam floats down
The body's poisoned, gotta sit tight
The wait... the wait...
The wait... the wait...

After wakening, silence grows
The screams subside
Distortion shows
Mutant thoughts of bad mouthed news
Is just another birth
Of distorted views

The wait... the wait...
The wait... the wait...

The wait... the wait...
The wait... the wait...

Killing Joke:

11-8-19, PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, PA (opened for Tool).

Definitely one of the more intriguing opening acts I've ever seen.

Please do not share this information with Matt Gaetz (R-FL), his fiance Ginger Luckey, his father Donald Gaetz, presently incarcerated Florida tax collector Joel Greenberg, Roger Stone, and/or former President Donald J. Trump.

#239. Floyd Safe Harbor

Day #3 of the George Floyd trial just wrapped up.  It got me to thinking.  When the visual evidence is so clearly incontrovertible.  And the testimony is so emphatically damning.  What's the best course of action for maggot Derek Chauvin?  Lemme give you a hint.

(Is that Derek Chauvin wearing a MAGA ballcap holding some kind of genetically modified prune-turd?)

Just for the record, it's not.  But do you see where I'm coming from?

I'm thinking this trial might be a halfway decent test case for the first ever "Deep Fake" defense.  You basically just allege that the whole trial is a set-up.  A con job.  It's all fake news being promulgated by the media.  All of the bystander video evidence has been tampered with --- faked, hacked, altered... by slick liberal Hollywood producers.  And then you simply pivot and vilify the political angle.  Inextricably linking your personal fate to the perceived persecution of DJT, the ex-POSUS (piece of shit of the United States)

A unanimous verdict is always an uphill struggle.  Especially when it's a veteran cop on trial.  The Chauvin jury consists of 14 members.  You gotta figure that the percentages, even in a liberal area like South Minneapolis, would favor at least one of them being a diehard Trumper.  Just enough for a hung jury and a mistrial. 

Then, you bring in your competing cyber-analysts and technology experts to testify.  Much like both sides will be presenting differing toxicology and coronary experts in the George Floyd trial.  Was it the drugs?  Or was it the asphyxiation?  If the ultimate judgement lies in the realm of "beyond a reasonable doubt," I'd think certain elements of a "deep fake" defense would be worth the shot.  Hey, it wouldn't be the first time somebody lied in a court of law.  And it won't be the last.

At some point, during the future of litigation, I suspect you'll hear a defendant conceptually invoke this line of defense.  During the next 5-10 years, deep fake technology will evolve into the application phase.  In a nutshell, even people with zero IT knowledge, will be able to construct fictitiously exploitative videos with the press of a button.  And you thought that doctored photos and deliberately misleading memes are bad news.  The universe is rapidly spiraling toward a cyber version of the wild, wild west. 

Think about it.  If you can convince millions of people that Hillary Clinton was running a pedophile sex trafficking ring out of the basement of D.C. pizza shop... is it really that much of a stretch?

Welcome to the dystopian consequence of the Orange Prolapse. 

 

Floyd Safe Harbor
sonofsaf

Chauvin no thanks, you can’t win
Floyd was handcuffed Fox News spin
Skin brown, care, he got no aid
Disavowal of a race

Say his name
Say his name
Say his name

Fuck the police if you dare
Take a knee, I do declare
Floyd can’t breathe, knee was the whip
Heart to heart a full eclipse

Say his name
Say his name
Say his name

Trial’s one of gloom and doom
Minnesota, the courtroom
Truth returns a cover up
He was colored and suffered much

Say his name
Say his name
Say his name

Floyd The Barber
Nirvana

Bell on door clanks, come on in
Floyd observes my hairy chin
Sit down, chair, don't be afraid
Steamed hot towel on my face

I'm ashamed
I'm ashamed
I'm ashamed

Barney ties me to the chair
I can't see, I'm really scared
Floyd breathes hard, I hear a zip
Pee pee pressed against my lips

I'm ashamed
I'm ashamed
I'm ashamed

I sense others in the room
Opie, Aunt Bea, I presume
They take turns and cut me up
I died smothered in Andy's clutch

I'm ashamed
I'm ashamed
I'm ashamed

Feel free to share this material with members of the defense and prosecution in the Derek Chauvin murder trial.  Oh what the hell... share it with anyone who has an interest in the future trajectory of technology and law.