#603. Christina Applegate

Sorry to hear the news that Christina Applegate was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.  

This is not the first health issue that Applegate has faced.  In 2008, she made the decision to remove both of her breasts in a double mastectomy.

 

 

Christina Applegate
sonofsaf

Christina Applegate
The daughter in Married with Children
Christina Applegate
Played a heel in the movie Bad Moms

 

Alexander The Great
Iron Maiden

Alexander the Great
His name struck fear into hearts of men
Alexander the Great
He died of fever in Babylon

Iron Maiden:

1-9-87, Civic Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

7-5-88, Civic Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

8-11-00, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

8-8-03, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

7-14-10, First Niagara Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

8-17-19, PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

Alexander The Great is one of Iron Maiden's more obscure tunes.  Just in case you're wondering, the lyrics to this song are essentially "non-parodiable."  So I just did the refrain.  Judge for yourself.  If anyone out there wants to give it a shot...  

It'd probably be easier to do a biblical parody of who begat whom.  Hmm, AC/DC's "Who Made Who.

 

"My son ask for thyself another kingdom
For that which I leave is too small for thee"

 

Near to the east
In a part of ancient Greece
In an ancient land called Macedonia
Was born a son
To Philip of Macedon
The legend, his name was Alexander

 

At the age of nineteen
He became the Macedon King
And he swore to free all of Asia Minor
By the Aegean Sea
In 334 B.C
He utterly beat the armies of Persia

 

Alexander the Great
His name struck fear into hearts of men
Alexander the Great
Became a legend amongst mortal men

 

King Darius the third
Defeated fled Persia
The Scythians fell by the river Jaxartes
Then Egypt fell
To the Macedon King as well
And he founded the city called Alexandria

 

By the Tigris river
He met King Darius again
And crushed him again in the battle of Arbela
Entering Babylon
And Susa, treasures he found
Took Persepolis, the capital of Persia

 

Alexander the Great
His name struck fear into hearts of men
Alexander the Great
Became a God amongst mortal men

 

A Phrygian King had bound a chariot yoke
And Alexander cut the 'Gordian knot'
And legend said that who untied the knot
He would become the master of Asia

 

Hellenism he spread far and wide
The Macedonian learned mind
Their culture was a western way of life
He paved the way for Christianity
Marching on, marching on

 

The battle weary marching side by side
Alexander's army line by line
They wouldn't follow him to India
Tired of the combat, pain and the glory

 

Alexander the Great
His name struck fear into hearts of men
Alexander the Great
He died of fever in Babylon 

 

 

Please do not share this material with Christina Applegate and/or Iron Maiden fans.

#602. Liar

I've already done a slew of parodies about the Orange Prolapse.  Many of them reference the big lie.  But not directly in the title.  So now, I've entered into this new "subset" phase.  I'll be forgoing the standard preamble and simply provide an updated list of "Big Lie" tunes.  Along with an embarrassing photo or humiliating Trump video clip.

Trump demonstrates a pugilistic stance.  Right jab, left hook.  Yeah, right. 

 

 

As the congressional investigation into the 1-6 attempted coup plods along, allow me to make a suggestion.  The media should be repeatedly asking a couple straightforward, simple questions.   

Who exactly came up with the idea to stage a disruptive rally on the Ellipse (less than 2 miles from the Capitol) on the same exact day/time frame, as the certification?  Most would agree that Trump lacks the "requisite creativity" to conceptualize such an idea.  And that's why he was exceptionally giddy as it unfolded.  Because the plan actually worked.  

Who encouraged every speaker to use the term "fight."  And which other speakers, other than Mo Brooks (R-AL), anticipating the potential for violence, made the decision to wear bullet proof vests.  Donald Jr.?  Rudy Giuliani?  Mark Meadows?  The My Pillow fuck?  

Who was in the Oval Office watching everything unfold with Trump?  

And who spoke with the Orange Prolapse on the phone that day while the insurrection was underway?  Make it clear that the NSA, and possibly U.S. Cybercom, has digital recordings of these conversations.  And if you wish too avoid conspiracy and federal election interference charges, it might be advisable to come forward ahead of time and testify behind closed doors.  Before receiving a Congressional subpoena.  But the offer is available for a limited time frame.  And set a fucking deadline.  Watch people like Jared Kushner, Ivanka, Donald Jr., Kelly Anne Conway, and the rest of them come crawling out of their bunkers, begging for forgiveness.  Albeit a year later.

My point to all of this --- If I had to lay a bet on exactly who conceived of the Trump mob physically sacking the Capitol with the ultimate intention of setting the wooden box of state certified election ballots on fire, my money'd be on Trump loyalist and Proud Jew Boy, Stephen Miller.

One final observation that never get spoken of in the mainstream media.  Whoever orchestrated this Stop the Steal rally knew a thing or two about the Capitol Police force.  They knew the cops would be outnumbered by a 20-1 margin.  And more importantly, this individual knew about the ROE (Rules of Engagement) and exposed the fact that Capitol Police are trained to refrain from using their guns.  No matter how precarious the situation.  It's called discussing the undiscussable.  And if you really want to uncover the truth, the ROE's a pretty big deal.

 

Liar
sonofsaf

He loves to deceive
The American way
Oh you know it’s true
Middle initial’s J

Banging porn stars today
That Stormy Daniels was cray
And he’s so cruel

He’s given us strife
Biggest asshole
Better off dead
He’s gonna take a fall

His son-in-law’s a Jew
Jared Kushner screws you
And we know he’s gay

We want Donald dead
We want Donald dead
We want Donald dead

Liar
Liar, liar

We love the far right
We love the right way
And he will deceive
All of the live long day

He’ll keep all of you free
Keep on deceivin’
Ivanka’s a ho

We want Donald dead
We want Donald dead
We want Donald dead

Liar
Liar, liar
Liar

He’s given us strife
Biggest asshole
Better off dead
Melania’s a ho

His son-in-law’s a Jew
Jared Kushner screws you
And we know he’s gay

We want Donald dead
We want Donald dead
We want Donald dead

Liar
Liar, liar

 

Liar
Three Dog Night

I won't ever leave
If you want me to stay
Nothing you could do
That could turn me away

Hanging on anyway
Believing the things you say
Being the fool

You've taken my life
So take my soul
That's what you said
And I believed it all

I want to be with you
Long as you want me to
But don't move away

Ain't that what you said?
Ain't that what you said?
Ain't that what you said?

Liar
Liar, liar

We have seen no night
We have seen no day
If I ever leave
Would you want me to stay?

You can believe in me
I won't be leaving
I won't let you go

Ain't that what you said?
Ain't that what you said?
Ain't that what you said?

Liar
Liar, liar
Liar

You've taken my life
So take my soul
That's what you said
But who are we to know?

I want to be with you
Long as you want me to
But don't move away

Ain't that what you said?
Ain't that what you said?
Ain't that what you said?

Liar
Liar, liar

#390.  Big Lie (Free Ride --- Edgar Winter)

#487.  Donald's Big Lie (Mr. Blue Sky --- E.L.O.)

#495.  American Lie (American Pie --- Don McLean)

#520.  The Big Lie (When Doves Cry --- Prince)

#530.  Big Lie (High Time --- Grateful Dead)

#545.  Big Lie (Goodbye --- Night Ranger)

#548.  Trump World's, Big Lie (Big Girls, Don't Cry --- Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons)  

#549.  All A Big Lie (Live And Let Die --- Paul McCartney)

#550.  Would Trump Lie To You (Would I Lie To You --- Annie Lennox)

#552.  Big Liar (Big Spender --- Shirley Bassey)

 

#553.  Big Lie (Big Me --- Foo Fighters)

#555.  The Big Lie (Let Her Cry --- Hootie And The Blowfish)

#557.  Big Lie (Big Love --- Fleetwood Mac)

#559.  Big Lies (Big Balls --- AC/DC)

#561.  The Big Lie (Aces High --- Iron Maiden)

#562.  Big Lie Trump Overload (Goodbye Yellow Brick Road --- Elton John)

#563.  Byrne's A Bitch (Burn The Witch --- Radiohead)

#564.  As The World Byrnes (As The World Burns --- Kreator)

#565.  Lie (Cry --- Godley and Creme)

#567.  Byrne In Hell (Burn In Hell --- Twisted Sister) 

#571.  He's A Scrotum The Big Lie (I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry --- Hank Williams)

#594.  Lie Lie You Trumpers (Die Die My Darling --- Metallica)

#595.  To Live Is To Lie (To Live Is To Die --- Metallica) 

 

#596.  Don't Lie (Don't Cry --- Guns'n'Roses)

#596.  Big Lie (Big Time --- Peter Gabriel)

#601.  Lies (Lies --- Thompson Twins

#602.  Liar (Liar --- Three Dog Night)

 

Since 1970 (the year I was born), Three Dog Night has played in Pittsburgh a total of 9 times.  That's the same number of times rapper 50 Cent got shot.  But I think it's merely a coincidence.

And who knew that the lead singer of Three Dog Night was actually David Hasselhoff?  Not I.

Please do not share this material with former President Donald J. Trump, Stephen Miller, and/or actor David Hasselhoff.

#601. Lies

I've already done a slew of parodies about the Orange Prolapse.  Many of them reference the big lie.  But not directly in the title.  So now, I've entered into this new "subset" phase.  I'll be forgoing the standard preamble and simply provide an updated list of "Big Lie" tunes.  Along with an embarrassing photo or humiliating Trump video clip.

 

#390.  Big Lie (Free Ride --- Edgar Winter)

#487.  Donald's Big Lie (Mr. Blue Sky --- E.L.O.)

#495.  American Lie (American Pie --- Don McLean)

#520.  The Big Lie (When Doves Cry --- Prince)

#530.  Big Lie (High Time --- Grateful Dead)

#545.  Big Lie (Goodbye --- Night Ranger)

#548.  Trump World's, Big Lie (Big Girls, Don't Cry --- Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons)  

#549.  All A Big Lie (Live And Let Die --- Paul McCartney)

#550.  Would Trump Lie To You (Would I Lie To You --- Annie Lennox)

#552.  Big Liar (Big Spender --- Shirley Bassey)

 

#553.  Big Lie (Big Me --- Foo Fighters)

#555.  The Big Lie (Let Her Cry --- Hootie And The Blowfish)

#557.  Big Lie (Big Love --- Fleetwood Mac)

#559.  Big Lies (Big Balls --- AC/DC)

#561.  The Big Lie (Aces High --- Iron Maiden)

#562.  Big Lie Trump Overload (Goodbye Yellow Brick Road --- Elton John)

#563.  Byrne's A Bitch (Burn The Witch --- Radiohead)

#564.  As The World Byrnes (As The World Burns --- Kreator)

#565.  Lie (Cry --- Godley and Creme)

#567.  Byrne In Hell (Burn In Hell --- Twisted Sister) 

#571.  He's A Scrotum The Big Lie (I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry --- Hank Williams)

#594.  Lie Lie You Trumpers (Die Die My Darling --- Metallica)

#595.  To Live Is To Lie (To Live Is To Die --- Metallica) 

 

#596.  Don't Lie (Don't Cry --- Guns'n'Roses)

#596.  Big Lie (Big Time --- Peter Gabriel)

#601.  Lies (Lies --- Thompson Twins)

 

Lies
sonofsaf

They call me a dummy
The democratic plan
My son-in-law’s a god damn Jew
Not guilty in the end

The Big Macs are btter
Not a Primanti’s fan
Infected by the China virus
Dr. Fauci ain’t a man

Lies, lies, lies, yeah
Lies, lies, lies, yeah
Lies, lies, lies, yeah
Lies, lies, lies, yeah

I’m the Orange Prolapse no doubt
The greatest of all time
Well, Republicans better not flip
Or they'll taste their crime

Stormy was not fun
Her tits were her demise
Lake Tahoe is all fake news
I’m hopin’ that she dies

Lies, lies, lies, yeah
Lies, lies, lies, yeah
Lies, lies, lies, yeah
Lies, lies, lies, yeah (oh, you know I know)

He acts like a martyr
And cultivates the hate
Well, the border wall’s in overdrive
He don’t care about its fate 

His brother, his liver
Cirrhosis too far gone
Infected by the China virus
Blood cry on and on and Donkey Kong and on and

Lies, lies, lies, yeah (he’s gonna fuck you)
Lies, lies, lies, yeah (but he won’t suck you)
Lies, lies, lies, yeah (he’s gonna fuck you)
Lies, lies, lies, yeah (oh, you know I know)
Lies, lies, lies, yeah
Lies, lies, lies, yeah
Lies, lies, lies, yeah
Lies, lies, lies, yeah (oh, Ivanka blows)
Lies, lies, lies, yeah
Lies, lies, lies, yeah
Lies, lies, lies, yeah
Lies, lies, lies, yeah

 

Lies
sonofsaf

You told me you loved me
So I don't understand
Why promises are snapped in two
And words are made to bend

The bigger, the better
Some stolen from Japan
Collected from around the world
They'll catch you if they can

Lies, lies, lies, yeah
Lies, lies, lies, yeah
Lies, lies, lies, yeah
Lies, lies, lies, yeah

Do I have to catch you out
To know what's on your mind?
Well, Cleopatra died for Egypt
What a waste of time

White ones and red ones
And some you can't disguise
Twisted truth and half the news
Can't hide it in your eyes

Lies, lies, lies, yeah
Lies, lies, lies, yeah
Lies, lies, lies, yeah
Lies, lies, lies, yeah (oh, you know I know)

You say you'll try harder
But I think it's just too late
Well, the car is revving in the drive
And I'm not the sort to wait

The bigger, the better
Some nicked from old saigon
Collected from around the world
Love lies on and on and on and on and on and

Lies, lies, lies, yeah (they're gonna get you)
Lies, lies, lies, yeah (they won't forget you)
Lies, lies, lies, yeah (they're gonna get you)
Lies, lies, lies, yeah (oh, you know I know)
Lies, lies, lies, yeah
Lies, lies, lies, yeah
Lies, lies, lies, yeah
Lies, lies, lies, yeah (oh, you know I know)
Lies, lies, lies, yeah
Lies, lies, lies, yeah
Lies, lies, lies, yeah
Lies, lies, lies, yeah 

The Thompson Twins played Pittsburgh 5 times back through the mid-80's.  As a teenager, I never caught 'em.  But lemme speak my peace... since they were a trio, shouldn't they have been named "The Unrelated Triplets?"  Non-related threesome?

Please do not share this material with former President Donald J. Trump.

#600. O Huckabee

I nearly forgot that actor Jim Carrey painted a portrait of Sarah Huckabee Sanders in 2018.  When she functioned as Trump's White House Press Secretary.

 

It begs the question... "How would you like to be the mouthpiece for an Orange Prolapse?"

Her father, a pastor, fired back at Carrey and tweeted that he was a "pathetic bully, sexist, hater, bigot and Christaphobe."  I wonder what Mike Huckabee would think of me.  You know... demanding an accurate measurement of his daughter's gunt.  Preferably on a daily basis.

And now this "tossed word salad, disingeuous cunt" is running for Governor of Arkansas.  Dear (Christian) Lord!

 

O Huckabee
sonofsaf

O Huckabee, o Huckabee
Sarah you aren’t engaging
O Huckabee, o Huckabee
Sarah you aren’t engaging
Heavy not lean and kinda queer
You must defend at smear the queer
O Huckabee, o Huckabee
Sarah you aren’t engaging

O Huckabee, o Huckabee
Please measure your gunt for me
O Huckabee, o Huckabee
Please measure your gunt for me
For Sarah Sanders Huckabee
Orange Prolapse just wait and see
O Huckabee, o Huckabee
Please measure your gunt for me
O Huckabee, o Huckabee
We wish you weren’t engaging
A flood of blood, you’ll rise above
We wish you weren’t engaging
Now you must fight, and fight like hell
O Huckabee, o Huckabee
O Huckabee, o Huckabee
We wish you weren’t engaging

O Christmas Tree
Unknown

O Christmas tree, o Christmas tree
Thy leaves are so unchanging
O Christmas tree, o Christmas tree
Thy leaves are so unchanging
Not only green when summer's here
But also when it's cold and drear
O Christmas tree, o Christmas tree
Thy leaves are so unchanging

O Christmas tree, o Christmas tree
Such pleasure do you bring me
O Christmas tree, o Christmas tree
Such pleasure do you bring me
For every year this Christmas tree
Brings to us such joy and glee
O Christmas tree, o Christmas tree
Such pleasure do you bring me
O Christmas tree, o Christmas tree
You'll ever be unchanging
A symbol of goodwill and love
You'll ever be unchanging
Each shining light, each silver bell
No one alive spreads cheer so well
O Christmas tree, o Christmas tree
You'll ever be unchanging

I've never met Sarah Huckabee Sanders.  I consider this to be a great achievement.  Now maybe it's not the same as scaling Mt. Everest.  Perhaps more the equivalent of receiving an Olympic Bronze Medal in curling.  However, a victory nonetheless.

Please do not share this material with Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Mike Huckabee, and/or actor Jim Carrey.  Mason loved him as Mr. Pickles in Kidding.  I'm sure it was a decent HBO series but I just couldn't get into it.

#599. Jive Walker

Trump is plotting his Georgia revenge tour.  He's busy trying to convince former Georgia Bulldog Herschel Walker to run for U.S. Senate.  Not to play the critical race card, but this kinda reminds me of the time Steelers wide receiver Hines Ward ran for Governor of Pennsylvania back in 2006 as a Republican.  And got absolutely shellacked by political heavyweight Ed Rendell.  For a traditional purple state, the final results weren't even remotely close.

The problem with Herschel Walker... is that all the Republican insiders think he'll get soundly defeated by his Democratic opponent Senator Raphael Warnock.  Not to state the obvious, but the Trumpy Proud Boy wing of the Republican party ain't generally too hip on 'dem colored folk. 

Uninteresting side note:  my mother originally wanted to name me Raphael Saferstein.  So in essence I would have been Ralph Saferstein.  Or even worse Raffy Saffy.  Fortunately, my father weighed in and convinced her to go with Eric.

 

Nothing spells (er uh, smells) fun... like fist bumping (er uh, bump fisting) an Orange Prolapse.

 

 

Jive Walker
sonofsaf

He’s just a jive Walker
We hope that Trump dies, yeah
Jive Walker
Stop selling’ the lies
Jive Walker
If he only would, yeah
Jive Walker’
Cum do what he should

Oh, it’s wild
Everyone knows
Just stop the steal and see
Oh, it’s wild
Big Macs for lunch
You’re gonna fucking say O can you see

He’s just a jive Walker
Who’s sellin’ cream pies
Wood shovin’
In between your thighs
Rumor has it Trump’s a bad lay
He’s just a jive Walker
And he might be gay

Oh the blood
If you could
Beating meat with drool
How you blow
When you biggie size
Deceivin’ Penguins
Like a rented mule
With all his

Jive Walker
We hope that Trump dies, yeah
Jive Walker
Stop sellin’ cream pies
Jive Walker
If only he would, yeah
Jive Walker
Cum on me you should

Orange Prolapse
It’s now time to dine, yeah
Jive Walker
Garnish with lime
‘Cause nobody loves me
But I will not cry
That nigga’s Jive Walker
Herschel’s gonna lie

Jive Walker
We hope that Trump dies, yeah
Wood shovin’
In between your thighs
Rumor has it Trump’s a bad lay
He’s just a jive Walker
And he might be gay

Orange Prolapse
It’s now time to dine, yeah
Jive Walker
Garnish with lime
‘Cause nobody loves me
But I will not cry
That nigga’s Jive Walker
Herschel’s gonna lie, yeah yeah

Oh jive Walker
Jive Walker
Oh jive Walker

 
Jive Talkin’
Bee Gees

t's just your jive talkin'
You're telling me lies, yeah
Jive talkin'
You wear a disguise
Jive talkin'
So misunderstood, yeah
Jive talkin'
You really no good

Oh, my child
You'll never know
Just what you mean to me
Oh, my child
You got so much
You're gonna take away my energy

With all your jive talkin'
You're telling me lies, yeah
Good lovin'
Still gets in my eyes
Nobody believes what you say
It's just your jive talkin'
That gets in the way

Oh my love
You're so good
Treating me so cruel
There you go
With your fancy lies
Leavin' me lookin'
Like a dumbstruck fool
With all your

Jive talkin'
You're telling me lies, yeah
Jive talkin'
You wear a disguise
Jive talkin'
So misunderstood, yeah
Jive talkin'
You just ain't no good

Love talkin'
Is all very fine, yeah
Jive talkin'
Just isn't a crime
And if there's somebody
You'll love till you die
Then all that jive talkin'
Just gets in your eye

Jive talkin'
You're telling me lies, yeah
Good lovin'
Still gets in my eyes
Nobody believes what you say
It's just your jive talkin'
That gets in the way

Love talkin'
Is all very fine, yeah
Jive talkin', just isn't a crime
And if there's somebody
You'll love till you die
Then all that jive talkin'
Just gets in your eye, yeah yeah

Oh jive talkin'
Jive talkin'
Oh jive talkin'

 

Never seen the Bee Gees of course.  A little before my time.  But the older I get, the more I enjoy their music.  And I highly recommend last year's Netflix documentary.

Please do not share this material with potential Georgia Senate candidate Herschel Walker and/or former President Donald J. Trump.

#598. Lemonade!

In honor of PNC Park going cashless.  In honor of this new brand of "reverse ATMs" (as if the customary version of ass-to-mouth isn't tasteless enough).  In honor of the game losing all of it's human vendors and employee pizzazz.  In honor of Major League baseball rapidly accelerating toward its demise...

Let us pay tribute to the infamous Lemonade guy.  May he rest in peace.

I've always thought that "the anguished oink of Lemonade man" would make for a really good t-shirt at one of those "Free Shirt Friday" games.

Lemonade!
sonofsaf

Oh, Nutting, Pittsburgh Pirates for life really makes us fans guffaw
The plan for rebuilding isn’t coming PNC Park’s still your home
Oh, Nutting  I can hear yinzers a-whinin’, you should be a garden gnome
That Mr. Baseball clown is so shallow and his dick’s not very long

Last place what’s up, don’t cry or pout
Make more money for me
The lemonade is your pay grade
Deceived by the county

Vendors have to play the game
Run the bases all the same
Ain’t got no game plan

Oh, Nutting, You aren’t part of the fam Wheeling Feeling right on instead
Ballboy said, “Why does our team nosedive? It’s as if we got no street cred.”
Oh, Nutting  I can hear yinzers a-whinin’, you should be a garden gnome
That Mr. Baseball clown is so shallow and his dick’s not very long

Last place what’s up, don’t cry or pout
Make more money for me
The lemonade is your pay grade
Deceived by the county

Vendors have to play the game
Run the bases all the same
Ain’t got no game plan

Oh, Nutting, Pittsburgh Pirates for life really makes us fans guffaw
That Mr. Baseball clown is so shallow and his dick’s not very long

Last place what’s up, don’t cry or pout
Make more money for me
The lemonade is your pay grade
Deceived by the county

Vendors have to play the game
Run the bases all the same
Ain’t got no game plan

Got no game plan
And up we will not show, oh, no
Oh, Nutting, lemonade is pee
No, no, no, we won’t show
Hey, hey

Renegade
Styx

Oh, Mama, I'm in fear for my life from the long arm of the law
Law man has put an end to my running and I'm so far from my home
Oh, Mama I can hear you a-cryin', you're so scared and all alone
Hangman is comin' down from the gallows and I don't have very long

The jig is up, the news is out
They've finally found me
The renegade who had it made
Retrieved for a bounty

Never more to go astray
This will be the end today
Of the wanted man

Oh, Mama, I've been years on the lam and had a high price on my head
Lawman said, 'Get him dead or alive.' Now it's for sure he'll see me dead
Dear Mama, I can hear you cryin', you're so scared and all alone
Hangman is comin' down from the gallows and I don't have very long

The jig is up, the news is out
They've finally found me
The renegade who had it made
Retrieved for a bounty

Never more to go astray
The judge will have revenge today
On the wanted man

Oh, Mama, I'm in fear for my life from the long arm of the law
Hangman is comin' down from the gallows and I don't have very long

The jig is up, the news is out
They've finally found me
The renegade who had it made
Retrieved for a bounty

Never more to go astray
This will be the end today
Of the wanted man

The wanted man
And I don't wanna go, oh, no
Oh, Mama, don't let them take me
No, no, no, I can't go
Hey, hey

Styx:

2-19-04, Capitol Music Hall, Wheeling, WV

8-22-08, Consol Energy Park, Washington, PA (listened outside in the parking lot w/ Becky & Jake)

7-5-09, Wheeling Island Stadium, Wheeling, WV

5-8-15, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA

10-2-16, Heinz Field, Steelers vs. Chiefs, Pittsburgh, PA (national anthem)

7-14-18 KeyBank Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

Please do not share this material with Pittsburgh Pirates Owner Bob Nutting, any individuals related to the PNC Park Lemonade man, and/or anyone who sits on their front porch and sips Country Time.

#597. Big Lie

I've already done a slew of parodies about the Orange Prolapse.  Many of them reference the big lie.  But not directly in the title.  So now, I've entered into this new "subset" phase.  I'll be forgoing the standard preamble and simply provide an updated list of "Big Lie" tunes.  Along with an embarrassing photo or humiliating Trump video clip.

A spot-on 2 minute synopsis of Trump and his Presidency.  Compliments of political pundit Steve Schmidt.

"Donald Trump has been the worst president this country has ever had. And I don't say that hyperbolically. He is. But he is a consequential president. And he has brought this country in three short years to a place of weakness that is simply unimaginable if you were pondering where we are today from the day where Barack Obama left office. And there were a lot of us on that day who were deeply skeptical and very worried about what a Trump presidency would be. But this is a moment of unparalleled national humiliation, of weakness. 

 

"When you listen to the President, these are the musings of an imbecile. An idiot. And I don't use those words to name call. I use them because they are the precise words of the English language to describe his behavior. His comportment. His actions. We've never seen a level of incompetence, a level of ineptitude so staggering on a daily basis by anybody in the history of the country whose ever been charged with substantial responsibilities. 

 

"It's just astonishing that this man is president of the United States. The man, the con man, from New York City. Many bankruptcies, failed businesses, a reality show, that branded him as something that he never was. A successful businessman. Well, he's the President of the United States now, and the man who said he would make the country great again. And he's brought death, suffering, and economic collapse on truly an epic scale. And let's be clear. This isn't happening in every country around the world. This place. Our place. Our home. Our country. The United States. We are the epicenter. We are the place where you're the most likely to die from this disease. We're the ones with the most shattered economy. And we are because of the fool that sits in the Oval Office behind the Resolute Desk."

 

#390.  Big Lie (Free Ride --- Edgar Winter)

#487.  Donald's Big Lie (Mr. Blue Sky --- E.L.O.)

#495.  American Lie (American Pie --- Don McLean)

#520.  The Big Lie (When Doves Cry --- Prince)

#530.  Big Lie (High Time --- Grateful Dead)

#545.  Big Lie (Goodbye --- Night Ranger)

#548.  Trump World's, Big Lie (Big Girls, Don't Cry --- Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons)  

#549.  All A Big Lie (Live And Let Die --- Paul McCartney)

#550.  Would Trump Lie To You (Would I Lie To You --- Annie Lennox)

#552.  Big Liar (Big Spender --- Shirley Bassey)

 

#553.  Big Lie (Big Me --- Foo Fighters)

#555.  The Big Lie (Let Her Cry --- Hootie And The Blowfish)

#557.  Big Lie (Big Love --- Fleetwood Mac)

#559.  Big Lies (Big Balls --- AC/DC)

#561.  The Big Lie (Aces High --- Iron Maiden)

#562.  Big Lie Trump Overload (Goodbye Yellow Brick Road --- Elton John)

#563.  Byrne's A Bitch (Burn The Witch --- Radiohead)

#564.  As The World Byrnes (As The World Burns --- Kreator)

#565.  Lie (Cry --- Godley and Creme)

#567.  Byrne In Hell (Burn In Hell --- Twisted Sister) 

#571.  He's A Scrotum The Big Lie (I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry --- Hank Williams)

#594.  Lie Lie You Trumpers (Die Die My Darling --- Metallica)

#595.  To Live Is To Lie (To Live Is To Die --- Metallica) 

 

#596.  Don't Lie (Don't Cry --- Guns'n'Roses)

#596.  Big Lie (Big Time --- Peter Gabriel)

 

Big Lie
sonofsaf

I am so gay, and faking it
I had a tv show, yeah
Yeah

Melania is my wife
She’s really good at “ho-ing”

Everyone thinks I’m dumb,
And an orange clown
I am so orange
I shit orange turds

But snot’s free
I am a twat
There is no doubt
I've been living down South
Forget my prolapse falls right out

Don’t call my bluff
There is no doubt
I am shitty
And very pretty
With dildos and toys
Elby’s had Big Boys *
(With a very small bone)

And I am gay with a small dong
As you eat my Orange Prolapse
(Big Lie)
I am so gay, and faking it
(Big Lie)
Uhh, yes
(Big Lie)
I had a tv show, yeah
(Big Lie)
(Big Lie)
Melania is my wife
(Big Lie)
She’s really good at “ho-ing”
(Big Lie)

It’s called fake news it’s all the same
And I eat McDonald’s all the while
Fuck you and my wife
She’s a bitch and a whore
Her face is all cum-glazed

And my Orange Prolapse has now become red
Wanna get paid that will never change
With snow white pillows for my big fat head
Deadly seven will be the sins seven
And my wife’s still a fucking whore

I am so gay, and faking it
(Big Lie)
(Big Lie)
I've had a tv show, yeah
(Big Lie)
(Big Lie)
Melania is my wife
(Big Lie)
She’s really good at “ho-ing”
(Big Lie)
(Big Lie)
My butt gettin' bigger
(Big Lie)
My ass gettin' bigger
(Big Lie)
Prolapse gettin' bigger
(Big Lie)
And my tits,
(Big Lie)
My shit’s gettin' bigger
(Big Lie)
And my butt is round
(Big Lie)
Fake news is my romance
(Big Lie)
And my ... lies are big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big...

 

Big Time
Peter Gabriel

I'm on my way, I'm making it
I've got to make it show, yeah
Yeah

It' so much larger than life
I'm gonna watch it growing

The place where I come from,
Is a small town
They think so small
They use small words

But not me
In spite of that
I worked it out
I've been stretching my mouth
To let those big words come right out

I had enough
I'm getting out
To the city
The big, big city
I'll be your big noise
With all the big boys
(So much stuff I will own)

And I will pray to a big god
As I kneel in the big church
(Big Time)
I'm on my way, I'm making it
(Big Time)
Uhh, yes
(Big Time)
I've got to make it show, yeah
(Big Time)
(Big Time)
It's so much larger than life
(Big Time)
I'm gonna watch it growing
(Big Time)

My parties have all the big names
And I greet them with the widest smile
Tell them how my life
Is one big adventure
And always there amazed

And I showed them round my house to my bed
I had it made like a mountain range
With snow white pillows for my big fat head
And our heaven will be a big heaven
And I will walk through the front door

I'm on my way, I'm making it
(Big Time)
(Big Time)
I've got to make it show, yeah
(Big Time)
(Big Time)
It' so much larger than life
(Big Time)
I'm gonna watch it growing
(Big Time)
(Big Time)
My cars gettin' bigger
(Big Time)
My house gettin' bigger
(Big Time)
My eyes gettin' bigger
(Big Time)
And my mouth,
(Big Time)
My bed's gettin' bigger
(Big Time)
And my bank account
(Big Time)
Look at my circumstance
(Big Time)
And I ... your not big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big...

 

 

* Elby's was a chain of family restaurants in the Ohio Valley.  The son of the owner (Kevin Boury) bore a striking resemblance to Marie "Madame" Curie, the scientist who discovered radon.  An observation made by my 7th grade science teacher at Wheeling Country Day School, Rick Willhite.

Peter Gabriel: 

11-19-02, Gunt Arena, Cleveland, OH

Great concert.  G Mo and I made the trek.  Always thought he was underrated and deserved a wider audience.  Naturally, one of my least favorite Peter Gabriel tune's is "Big Time."

Please do not share this material with former President Donald J. Trump and/or purveyors of the big lie. 

#596. Don't Lie

I've already done a slew of parodies about the Orange Prolapse.  Many of them reference the big lie.  But not directly in the title.  So now, I've entered into this new "subset" phase.  I'll be forgoing the standard preamble and simply provide an updated list of "Big Lie" tunes.  Along with an embarrassing photo or humiliating Trump video clip.

Easily one of the most alarming, terrifying pictures from the last administration.  The irony: about 25% of our country's citizens think it makes the Orange Prolapse look good.

#390.  Big Lie (Free Ride --- Edgar Winter)

#487.  Donald's Big Lie (Mr. Blue Sky --- E.L.O.)

#495.  American Lie (American Pie --- Don McLean)

#520.  The Big Lie (When Doves Cry --- Prince)

#530.  Big Lie (High Time --- Grateful Dead)

#545.  Big Lie (Goodbye --- Night Ranger)

#548.  Trump World's, Big Lie (Big Girls, Don't Cry --- Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons)  

#549.  All A Big Lie (Live And Let Die --- Paul McCartney)

#550.  Would Trump Lie To You (Would I Lie To You --- Annie Lennox)

#552.  Big Liar (Big Spender --- Shirley Bassey)

 

#553.  Big Lie (Big Me --- Foo Fighters)

#555.  The Big Lie (Let Her Cry --- Hootie And The Blowfish)

#557.  Big Lie (Big Love --- Fleetwood Mac)

#559.  Big Lies (Big Balls --- AC/DC)

#561.  The Big Lie (Aces High --- Iron Maiden)

#562.  Big Lie Trump Overload (Goodbye Yellow Brick Road --- Elton John)

#563.  Byrne's A Bitch (Burn The Witch --- Radiohead)

#564.  As The World Byrnes (As The World Burns --- Kreator)

#565.  Lie (Cry --- Godley and Creme)

#567.  Byrne In Hell (Burn In Hell --- Twisted Sister) 

#571.  He's A Scrotum The Big Lie (I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry --- Hank Williams)

#594.  Lie Lie You Trumpers (Die Die My Darling --- Metallica)

#595.  To Live Is To Lie (To Live Is To Die --- Metallica)

#596.  Don't Lie (Don't Cry --- Guns'n'Roses)

 

 

Don’t Lie
sonofsaf

Hope it’s not costly
When a president dies
Just send me the bill tomorrow
And please don't lie
You know the First Lady’s my wife
And she is a whore
That Jared Kushner’s a Jew
Oy vey he blows

Don't you lie alright
Kushner’s a Jew, maybe
Don't you lie alright
Don't you lie alright
Deadly seven sins for you, baby
And don't you lie alright

Call me a doctor
This fever is high
I’ve got some Covid for you
Biden should die
Just because I’m an orange clown
Who’s feeling angry and mad
I'll still be fucking with you
My life is so sad, baby

And don't you lie alright
Don't you lie alright
Don't you lie alright
Deadly seven sins for you, baby
And don’t you lie alright

He is the vendor
of bullshit and lies
Oh please don’t dismember
The fat Orange Prolapse clown, honey
He’s filled with fake shit kinda gay
He’s a McDonald clown, hooker
Trump filled the world with sorrow
Ronald McDonald clown, baby

And don't you lie alright
And don't you lie alright
And don't you lie alright
Deadly seven sins for you, baby
And don't you lie
Don't you ever lie, lie, lie
Don't you lie alright
Maybe, baby you’re gay
Don't you lie
Don't you ever lie, lie, lie
Don't you lie
Alright

 

Don’t Cry
Guns’n’ Roses

Talk to me softly
There's something in your eyes
Don't hang your head in sorrow
And please don't cry
I know how you feel inside I've
I've been there before
Somethin's changin' inside you
And don't you know

Don't you cry tonight
I still love you, baby
Don't you cry tonight
Don't you cry tonight
There's a heaven above you, baby
And don't you cry tonight

Give me a whisper
And give me a sigh
Give me a kiss before you
Tell me goodbye
Don't you take it so hard now
And please don't take it so bad
I'll still be thinkin' of you
And the times we had, baby

And don't you cry tonight
Don't you cry tonight
Don't you cry tonight
There's a heaven above you, baby
And don't you cry tonight

And please remember
That I never lied
Oh and please remember
How I felt inside now, honey
You gotta make it your own way
But you'll be alright now, sugar
You'll feel better tomorrow
Come the morning light now, baby

And don't you cry tonight
And don't you cry tonight
And don't you cry tonight
There's a heaven above you, baby
And don't you cry
Don't you ever cry, cry, cry
Don't you cry tonight
Baby, maybe someday
Don't you cry
Don't you ever cry, cry cry
Don't you cry
Tonight

Since 1988, Guns'n'Roses have only played the Pittsburgh area a total of 4 times.  

7-20-88, Wheeling Civic Center, Wheeling, WV (Opened for Aerosmith.  Mark Madden's all-time favorite concert.) 

7-26-92, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA (headlined along with Metallica & Faith No More.  I went to the concert with Long Red Hair and actually fell asleep for part of the show.)

The last time they came to town, they played at Heinz Field in the summer of 2016.  For some reason, I decided to hang out in the lot and skip the concert.  Just wasn't feeling it.

Please do not share this information with former President Donald J. Trump and/or any purveyors of the big lie.

#595. To Live Is To Lie

I've already done a slew of parodies about the Orange Prolapse.  Many of them reference the big lie.  But not directly in the title.  So now, I've entered into this new "subset" phase.  I'll be forgoing the standard preamble and simply provide an updated list of "Big Lie" tunes.  Along with an embarrassing photo or humiliating Trump video clip.

 

#390.  Big Lie (Free Ride --- Edgar Winter)

#487.  Donald's Big Lie (Mr. Blue Sky --- E.L.O.)

#495.  American Lie (American Pie --- Don McLean)

#520.  The Big Lie (When Doves Cry --- Prince)

#530.  Big Lie (High Time --- Grateful Dead)

#545.  Big Lie (Goodbye --- Night Ranger)

#548.  Trump World's, Big Lie (Big Girls, Don't Cry --- Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons)  

#549.  All A Big Lie (Live And Let Die --- Paul McCartney)

#550.  Would Trump Lie To You (Would I Lie To You --- Annie Lennox)

#552.  Big Liar (Big Spender --- Shirley Bassey)

 

#553.  Big Lie (Big Me --- Foo Fighters)

#555.  The Big Lie (Let Her Cry --- Hootie And The Blowfish)

#557.  Big Lie (Big Love --- Fleetwood Mac)

#559.  Big Lies (Big Balls --- AC/DC)

#561.  The Big Lie (Aces High --- Iron Maiden)

#562.  Big Lie Trump Overload (Goodbye Yellow Brick Road --- Elton John)

#563.  Byrne's A Bitch (Burn The Witch --- Radiohead)

#564.  As The World Byrnes (As The World Burns --- Kreator)

#565.  Lie (Cry --- Godley and Creme)

#567.  Byrne In Hell (Burn In Hell --- Twisted Sister) 

#571.  He's A Scrotum The Big Lie (I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry --- Hank Williams)

#594.  Lie Lie You Trumpers (Die Die My Darling --- Metallica)

#595.  To Live Is To Lie (To Live Is To Die --- Metallica)

 

 

To Live Is To Lie
sonofsaf

Donald Trump worsened the entire world
He’s the Orange Prolapse no ability to thrive
All usury power growing weaker never stronger
Awaken the sum of a nation all alone

 

To Live Is To Die
Metallica

When a man lies he murders some part of the world
These are the pale deaths which men miscall their lives
All this I cannot bear to witness any longer
Cannot the kingdom of salvation take me home

 

 

Metallica:

6-15-88, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA

6-22-88, Rubber Bowl, Akron, OH

11-18-88, Cincinnati Gardens, Cincinnati, OH

4-16-89, Hara Arena, Dayton, OH

7-26-92, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA (w/ Guns'n'Roses & Faith No More) 

3-26-97, Civic Arena, Pittsburgh, PA 

10-18-18, PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

 Please do not share this material with former President Donald J. Trump and/or any purveyors of the big lie.

#594. Lie Lie You Trumpers

I've already done a slew of parodies about the Orange Prolapse.  Many of them reference the big lie.  But not directly in the title.  So now, I've entered into this new "subset" phase.  I'll be forgoing the standard preamble and simply provide an updated list of "Big Lie" tunes.  Along with an embarrassing photo or humiliating Trump video clip.

 

 

#390.  Big Lie (Free Ride --- Edgar Winter)

#487.  Donald's Big Lie (Mr. Blue Sky --- E.L.O.)

#495.  American Lie (American Pie --- Don McLean)

#520.  The Big Lie (When Doves Cry --- Prince)

#530.  Big Lie (High Time --- Grateful Dead)

#545.  Big Lie (Goodbye --- Night Ranger)

#548.  Trump World's, Big Lie (Big Girls, Don't Cry --- Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons)  

#549.  All A Big Lie (Live And Let Die --- Paul McCartney)

#550.  Would Trump Lie To You (Would I Lie To You --- Annie Lennox)

#552.  Big Liar (Big Spender --- Shirley Bassey)

 

#553.  Big Lie (Big Me --- Foo Fighters)

#555.  The Big Lie (Let Her Cry --- Hootie And The Blowfish)

#557.  Big Lie (Big Love --- Fleetwood Mac)

#559.  Big Lies (Big Balls --- AC/DC)

#561.  The Big Lie (Aces High --- Iron Maiden)

#562.  Big Lie Trump Overload (Goodbye Yellow Brick Road --- Elton John)

#563.  Byrne's A Bitch (Burn The Witch --- Radiohead)

#564.  As The World Byrnes (As The World Burns --- Kreator)

#565.  Lie (Cry --- Godley and Creme)

#567.  Byrne In Hell (Burn In Hell --- Twisted Sister) 

#571.  He's A Scrotum The Big Lie (I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry --- Hank Williams)

#594.  Lie Lie You Trumpers (Die Die My Darling --- Metallica)

 

Lie Lie You Trumpers
sonofsaf

Lie, lie, lie you Trumpers
Don't matter they’re only words
Lie, lie, lie you Trumpers
Ivanka’s creamy thighs
So much growing to defend
Yeah, so much throwing up in hell

You know a lie ain’t maybe
Covid’s worse than the chicken pox
You know a lie ain’t maybe
Spreading falsehoods from a-dusk ’til a dawn
You know a lie ain’t maybe
Truth be told Trump’s a fucking coward
You know a lie ain’t maybe
Takes a toll in this dead-end world
You know a lie ain’t maybe
Melania is a whore
You know a lie ain’t maybe

Lie, lie, lie you Trumpers
Don't matter they’re only words
Lie, lie, lie you Trumpers
Ivanka’s creamy thighs
So much growing to defend
Yeah, so much throwing up in hell

You know a lie ain’t maybe
Covid’s worse than the chicken pox
You know a lie ain’t maybe
Spreading falsehoods from a-dusk ’til a dawn
You know a lie ain’t maybe
Truth be told Trump’s a fucking coward
You know a lie ain’t maybe
Takes a toll in this dead-end world
You know a lie ain’t maybe
Melania is a whore
You know a lie ain’t maybe

Lie, lie, lie you Trumpers
Don't matter they’re only words
Lie, lie, lie you Trumpets
Ivanka’s creamy thighs
So much growing to defend
Yeah, so much throwing up in hell
Lie, lie, lie
Lie, lie, lie
Lie, lie, lie
Lie

 

Die Die My Darling
Metallica

Die, die, die my darling
Don't utter a single word
Die, die, die my darling
Just shut your pretty eyes
I'll be seeing you again
Yeah, I'll be seeing you in hell

So don't cry to me oh baby
Your future's in an oblong box
Don't cry to me oh baby
You should have seen it a-comin' on
Don't cry to me oh baby
Had to know it was in your power
Don't cry to me oh baby
Dead-end goal for a dead-end girl
Don't cry to me oh baby
And now your life drains on that floor
Don't cry to me oh baby

Die, die, die my darling
Don't utter a single word
Die, die, die my darling
Just shut your pretty mouth
I'll be seeing you again
I'll be seeing you in hell

Don't cry to me oh baby
Your future's in an oblong box
Don't cry to me oh baby
You should have seen it a-comin' on
Don't cry to me oh baby
Had to know it was in your power
Don't cry to me oh baby
Dead-end goal for a dead-end girl
Don't cry to me oh baby
Now your life drains on that floor
Don't cry to me oh baby

Die, die, die my darling
Don't utter a single word
Die, die, die my darling
Shut your pretty mouth
I'll be seeing you again
I'll be seeing you in hell
Die, die, die
Die, die, die
Die, die, die
Die

Since 1990, Danzig has played Pittsburgh 10 times.  Didn't catch of any of concerts.  So I'll go with the Metallica cover.

Metallica:

6-15-88, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA

6-22-88, Rubber Bowl, Akron, OH

11-18-88, Cincinnati Gardens, Cincinnati, OH

4-16-89, Hara Arena, Dayton, OH

7-26-92, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA (w/ Guns'n'Roses & Faith No More) 

3-26-97, Civic Arena, Pittsburgh, PA 

10-18-18, PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

 Please do not share this material with former President Donald J. Trump and/or any purveyors of the big lie.

 

#593. Budd

 

Small black child asks Ted Budd if he has any "ties" to white supremacists.

A list of my previous parodies regarding "Trump endorsed" North Carolina U.S. Senate Congressman Ted Budd.  

If You Want Budd (You'll Get Shit), If You Want Blood (You Got It) --- AC/DC

Reigning Budd, Raining Blood --- Slayer

Ted Budded, Hot Blooded --- Foreigner

Ted, Shred --- Overkill

and now without further adieu...

Budd, Blood --- Pearl Jam

 

Budd
sonofsaf

Ground and pound.
He’ll bend over.
Fucking ass kiss.
Orange fat clown.
Weak and feeble
Not that holy.
Shoot to kill.
Screw the ladies.
Tampon’s bloody.

He’s Ted Budd.
He’s Ted Budd.

He’s a pig.
He is guilty of many felonies.

He’s Ted Budd.
He’s Ted Budd.
He’s Ted Budd.

Orange fat clown.
Fuck the ladies.
Smoke a bud pipe.
Breaker of laws felonies
Fake news…

Lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie
Ass.

 

Blood
Pearl Jam

Spin me round.
Roll me over.
Fucking circus.
Stab it down.
One way needle.
Pulled so slowly.
Drains and spills.
Soaks the pages.
Fills their sponges.

It's my blood.
It's my blood.

Paint Ed big.
Turn Ed into one of his enemies.

It's my blood.
It's my blood.
It's my blood.

Stab it down.
Fill the pages.
Suck my blood dry.
Maker of my enemies.
Take my...

Why, why, why, why, why, why?
Rats.

 

Never really cared much for this song. 

In retrospect, it would appear doubtful.

Pearl Jam:

8-25-98, Star Lake Amphitheater, Burgettstown, PA
9-5-00, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
9-28-05, PNC Park, Pittsburgh, PA (opened for the Rolling Stones)
6-23-06, Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, PA
10-27-09, Wachovia Spectrum, Philadelphia, PA
10-28-09, Wachovia Spectrum, Philadelphia, PA
5-6-10, Nationwide Arena, Columbus, OH
5-9-10, Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, OH
10-11-13, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA
10-1-14, U.S. Bank Arena, Cincinnati, OH
9-26-15, Central Park, New York City, NY (Global Citizen Festival)
4-28-16, Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, PA
4-29-16, Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, PA

Please do not share this material with U.S. Senate candidate Ted Budd (R-NC).

#592. Parson

Missouri Republican Governor Michael Parson is busy deploying "ambulance strike teams" throughout the Show Me State in a desperate attempt to keep up with the Delta variant and recent Covid spike.  

To be blunt, it's a case of too little, too late.  Instead of encouraging vaccinations over the past year, Parson was busy signing some of the most restrictive abortion laws in the country while working to solidify his political base of Trumpers and Cyber Ninjas, anti-vaxxers and evangelical dumbshits.

Parson
sonofsaf

He sadly just wants to fuck you
He sadly is stark raving mad
To fuck you he’d bluff about the size that he has

He’s gay and so white wants to screw you
Pardon power is such a thrill
Elect you fake news is just oh so bad

His name’s Michael Parson
His dick is small and sad
His dick is small and sad

He sadly just wants to fuck you
He sadly is paid for and bought
To fuck you he will show you his tiny cock

He’s gay and so white wants to suck you
Pretending to be straight’s a fad
To fuck you Orange Prolapse clown’s a MAGA man

His name’s Michael Parson
His dick is small and sad
His dick is small and sad

He shits by the pound
He takes a big dump showing no fear
He blows Jared Kushner who’s a Jew
His wife takes a DP for two
She does it for fun
And she’s spreading that ‘ol big lie for free
Stop stealing and screw

He sadly just wants to fuck you
He sadly is paid for and bought
To fuck you he will show you his tiny cock

He’s gay and so white wants to suck you
Pretending to be straight’s a fad
To fuck you Orange Prolapse clown’s a MAGA man

His name’s Michael Parson
His dick is small and sad
His dick is small and sad

Bargain
The Who

I'd gladly lose me to find you
I'd gladly give up all I had
To find you I'd suffer anything and be glad

I'd pay any price just to get you
I'd work all my life and I will
To win you I'd stand naked, stoned and stabbed

I'd call that a bargain
The best I ever had
The best I ever had

I'd gladly lose me to find you
I'd gladly give up all I got
To catch you I'm gonna run and never stop

I'd pay any price just to win you
Surrender my good life for bad
To find you I'm gonna drown an unsung man

I'd call that a bargain
The best I ever had
The best I ever had

I sit looking 'round
I look at my face in the mirror
I know I'm worth nothing without you
In life one and one don't make two
One and one make one
And I'm looking for that free ride to me
I'm looking for you

I'd gladly lose me to find you
I'd gladly give up all I got
To catch you I'm gonna run and never stop

I'd pay any price just to win you
Surrender my good life for bad
To find you I'm gonna drown an unsung man

I'd call that a bargain
The best I ever had
The best I ever had

My second parody of The Who's "Bargain."  The first one was a Trump bashing tribute to the new U.S. Attorney General Merrick Garland.  Entitled simply "Garland."

The Who:

7-16-89, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA

6-29-00, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

12-11-06, Value City Arena, Columbus, OH

11-11-12, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA

3-16-16, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA

5-30-19, PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

Please do not share this material with Governor Michael Parson (R-MO).