Friday, January 07, 2022

#964. Waiting All Day For Sunday Night

The NFL, in its infinite wisdom (cash & ratings), moved the Los Angeles Chargers (-3) at Las Vegas Raiders to the Sunday night time slot.  Because if the Colts (-15.5) beat the hapless Jaguars, it becomes a win-and-you're-in game.  Excitement!  However, if the Jagoffs were to pull off the big upset, it opens the door to a mind-blowing scenario.  The Chargers and Raiders could conceivably play for a TIE.  Which would put BOTH teams in the playoffs.  Keep in mind, this scenario would physically unfold in Vegas, the gambling capitol of the world.

No matter how it unfolds, this would be a nightmare for the league.  And we're definitely talking less than 1% probability.  Fans would be screaming at the top of their lungs... FIXED!  It's all RIGGED!  CONSPIRACY!  And after an entire year of the Orange Prolapse complaining that he was screwed in the 2020 Presidential election, such claims could resonate.  At least among the Q-Anon crowd and miscellaneous Oath Keeping fucktards.

The most comical scenario would be for the Jaguars to pull off the big upset and a Steelers (+5.5) upset win at Baltimore.  Then, the aforementioned Chargers/Raiders tie.  Pixburgh fans would be drinking IC Light and slinging Jagerbombs all afternoon, celebrating deep into the evening.  And then be forced to watch as they gradually get eliminated about 10 hours later around midnight in the most twisted, excruciatingly painful scenario ever conceived.

Personally, I think it's all moot.  I suspect Big Ben and the Steelers will lose on Sunday.  Probably come back down to earth after the overly emotional win at Heinz Field against the Browns last Monday night.  I was down there but couldn't score a ticket.  Though, in all candor, I didn't make much of an effort.  Still, it'd be amusing if the Jags did their part but then the Steelers lose a heartbreaker.  Maybe a Big Ben pick six in OT.  Dare to dream!

Oh, the NFL.  You give me so much and ask of me so little.


Waiting All Day for Sunday Night

Far right, extreme right.  Fuck you too!  We wanna smack the ass of Stormy too.  You wanna spread blame.  And stage a coup.

Hey, Trump, you’re an ass.  An Orange Prolapse clown.  Stuck your cock in Stormy and Ivanka she frowned.  Donald J. Trump’s ass is pretty gay.  He has a plan insurrection is okay.
We be savin’ our hate for the extreme right .  They’ll huff and puff on some cock tonight.  The Proud Boys plannin’ gonna start up a fight.  'Cause we be savin’ our hate for the extreme right.  Yea, yea, yeah.

Georgia cunt Marjorie Taylor Greene.  Paul Gosar is the worst that you’ve seen. The Trumpers are ready.  Stuck their flags in D.C.  'Cause the USA sucks our liberty.  Yeah.

Waiting All Day for Sunday Night
NFL starring Carrie Underwood

All right, Sunday night.  Where are you?  Just kickin' back from the things that you do.  You want the big game.  We want it, too

Hey, Jack, it's a fact.  The show's back in town.  The stadium's rockin' time to crank up the sound.  The NFL's best have come to play.  For every fan there's just one thing left to say.
I been waitin' all day for Sunday night.  The tough get rough in a primetime fight.  The last one standin' gets to turn out the lights.  ’Cause I been waitin' all day for Sunday night.  Yea, yea, yeah.

Sunday Night Football on NBC.  Al and John are the best on TV.  The players are ready.  Kick that ball off the tee.  'Cause the NFL rocks on NBC.  Yeah.

Saf, how many times have you been to a Steelers Sunday night game?  Interesting question.  I'd say definitely more than 10.  But probably less than 15. 

Well how many games total?  I'd say more than 185.  But less than 200.  But hey, who's counting?  An even better question.  What was the collective price tag for attending nearly 200 Steelers games?  Hmm, let's see here.

80% freebies.

15% cost me $20 each.  Hey, Andrew Jackson is always an acceptable token gesture.

5% cost me in the $40-50 range.  I remember once paying $100 for a Baltimore/Pittsburgh Monday night game.  I think it was during the 2005-06 Super Bowl run back in the limo days.  Probably drunk. 

All in all, I'm likely around the $750 - $1000 in the red.  Not too shabby for the double century mark.  

However, it's all relative.  'Cause if you take my glory days of ticket scalping into consideration, I'm probably about 10K-15K in the black.  So there's that.

Please do not share this material with the NFL front office, Steelers fans, and/or former President Donald J. Trump.

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