Nothing. I repeat nothing is more satisfying than watching a Dallas Cowboys wildcard loss... especially in Jerry World. Particularly when Dak Prescott tries to spike the ball in hopes of taking that final, last gasp shot at the end zone.
But time runs out. The clock expires. And the game is over. It's called a negative feedback loop.
Because truth be told, I'd much rather watch the Cowboys lose. Than see the Steelers win (they didn't).
That might sound a little backwards, but hey, it's the lifestyle I have chosen.
You gotta love the notion of all these band-wagon Cowboy fans, many coughing up their life savings and traveling great distances, just for the opportunity to attend a playoff game. Clinging desperately to hope as the planet's richest sports franchise (5.7 billion) loses a heartbreaker in the final seconds... at home. And one of the wealthiest NFL owners, Jerry Jones with a net worth of 8.8 billion, bites the dust... again.
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| Because what transpired here in 2015 can never be allowed to happen again. |
sonofsaf
[Lady Gaga:]
Hello, hello, Jerry, you called? I call you a bitch
Jerry has an escort who will rub, he’s gay, gay. (Gay)
Hee-haw-he’s gonna pay, huh. He’s faking news you see.
Sorry, he wants to screw you, he’s kinda shitty (he’s kinda shitty)
K-kinda shitty (he’s kinda shitty), k-kinda shitty (he’s kinda shitty)
Sorry, he wants to screw you, he’s kinda shitty
Jerry beckons, how about ‘dem Cowboys all the way (hey)
But he cannot fuck you ‘cause he is not a man, eh
So Ollie Ollie in cum free, let’s go for a ride and see
And Jerry never cums for free, he’s kinda shitty
Appallin’, appallin’, Cowboys gotta learn how to score
I love Dallas, Texas but Fort Worth is a whore
Appallin’, appallin’, Cowboys gotta learn how to score
I love Dallas, Texas but Fort Worth is a whore
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh
Stop Jerry Jonzing me!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh (stop Jerry Jonzing me)
Lit litty!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh (lit litty)
Stop Jerry Jonzing me!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh (stop Jerry Jonzing me)
Owner is a cunt doesn’t have a bone
‘Cause the Super Bowl ain’t for Jerry Jones (No)
Ain’t gotta ticket stub for the floodin’ of blood
‘Cause the Super Bowl ain’t for Jerry Jones (No)
Owner is a cunt doesn’t have a bone
‘Cause the Super Bowl ain’t for Jerry Jones (No)
Ain’t gotta ticket stub for the floodin’ of blood
‘Cause the Super Bowl ain’t for Jerry Jones (No)
[Beyoncé:]
Boy, ‘dem Cowboys fuckin’ make me groan
Better call up my pastor
Puppets of disaster, Metallica’s your master
He jacks off all alone at home he’s wackin’ even faster
Ballin’ asshole inspector
Fuck you, you’re anal cancer
[Lady Gaga & Beyoncé:]
If only you were Jew, with Bar Mitzvah party
That Torah’s thick and tired of my dead c-scrolling
No more penalties to give in AT&T S-Stadium (Stadium)
Jerry’s world has no balls he ain’t romancing
('Cause he ain’t romancing) he ain’t romancing
('Cause he ain’t romancing) he ain’t romancing
(He ain’t romancing)
Jerry’s world has no balls he ain’t romancing
[Lady Gaga:]
Appallin’, appallin’, Cowboys gotta learn how to score
I love Dallas, Texas but Fort Worth is a whore
Appallin’, appallin’, Cowboys gotta learn how to score
I love Dallas, Texas but Fort Worth is a whore
Appallin’, appallin’, Cowboys gotta learn how to score
I love Dallas, Texas but Fort Worth is a whore
Appallin’, appallin’, Cowboys gotta learn how to score
I love Dallas, Texas but Fort Worth is a whore
[Lady Gaga & Beyoncé:]
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh (Stop Jerry Jonzing me)
Stop Jerry Jonzing me!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh (lit litty)
Lit litty!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh (Stop Jerry Jonzing me)
Stop Jerry Jonzing me!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh (lit litty)
[Lady Gaga:]
Owner is a cunt doesn’t have a bone
‘Cause the Super Bowl ain’t for Jerry Jones (No)
Ain’t gotta ticket stub for the floodin’ of blood
‘Cause the Super Bowl ain’t for Jerry Jones (No)
Owner is a cunt doesn’t have a bone
‘Cause the Super Bowl ain’t for Jerry Jones (No)
Ain’t gotta ticket stub for the floodin’ of blood
‘Cause the Super Bowl ain’t for Jerry Jones (No)
He’s Jerry Jones, h-h-he’s Jerry Jones
Ain’t gotta ticket stub for the floodin’ of blood
‘Cause the Super Bowl ain’t for Jerry Jones
He’s Jerry Jones, h-h-he’s Jerry Jones
Ain’t gotta ticket stub for the floodin’ of blood
‘Cause the Super Bowl ain’t for Jerry Jones
We're sorry (We're sorry)
Being a Dallas Cowboys fan is the ultimate crime
’Tis any wonder the star they will defend
Telephone
Lady Gaga (featuring Beyonce)
[Lady Gaga:]
Hello, hello, baby, you called? I can't hear a thing
I have got no service in the club, you say, say? (Say)
Wha-wha-what did you say, huh? You're breaking up on me
Sorry, I cannot hear you, I'm kinda busy (I'm kinda busy)
K-kinda busy (I'm kinda busy), k-kinda busy (I'm kinda busy)
Sorry, I cannot hear you, I'm kinda busy
Just a second, it's my favorite song they're gonna play (Play)
And I cannot text you with a drink in my hand, eh
You should've made some plans with me, you knew that I was free
And now you won't stop calling me, I'm kind of busy
Stop callin', stop callin', I don't wanna think anymore
I left my head and my heart on the dance floor
Stop callin', stop callin', I don't wanna talk anymore
I left my head and my heart on the dance floor
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh
Stop telephoning me!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh (Stop telephoning me)
I'm busy!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh (I'm busy)
Stop telephoning me!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh (Stop telephoning me)
Can call all you want but there's no one home
And you're not gonna reach my telephone (No)
'Cause I'm out in the club and I'm sipping that bubb
And you're not gonna reach my telephone (No)
Can call all you want but there's no one home
And you're not gonna reach my telephone
'Cause I'm out in the club and I'm sipping that bubb
And you're not gonna reach my telephone
[Beyoncé:]
Boy, the way you blowing up my phone
Won't make me leave no faster
Put my coat on faster, leave my girls no faster
I should've left my phone at home 'cause this is a disaster
Callin' like a collector
Sorry, I cannot answer
[Lady Gaga & Beyoncé:]
It's not that I don't like you, I'm just at a party
And I am sick and tired of my phone r-ringing
Sometimes I feel like I live in Grand Central S-Station (Station)
Tonight I'm not taking no calls 'cause I'll be dancing
('Cause tonight I'm dancing) 'Cause I'll be dancing
('Cause tonight I'm dancing) 'Cause I'll be dancing
(Tonight I'm dancing)
Tonight I'm not taking no calls, 'cause I'll be dancing
[Lady Gaga:]
Stop calling, stop calling, I don't wanna think anymore
I left my head and my heart on the dance floor
Stop calling, stop calling, I don't wanna talk anymore
I left my head and my heart on the dance floor
Stop calling, stop calling, I don't wanna think anymore
I left my head and my heart on the dance floor
Stop calling, stop calling, I don't wanna talk anymore
I left my head and my heart on the dance floor
[Lady Gaga & Beyoncé:]
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh (Stop telephoning me)
Stop telephoning me!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh (I'm busy)
I'm busy!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh (Stop telephoning me)
Stop telephoning me!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh (I'm busy)
[Lady Gaga:]
Can call all you want but there's no one home
And you're not gonna reach my telephone
'Cause I'm out in the club and I'm sipping that bubb
And you're not gonna reach my telephone
Can call all you want but there's no one home
And you're not gonna reach my telephone
'Cause I'm out in the club and I'm sipping that bubb
And you're not gonna reach my telephone
My telephone, m-m-my telephone
'Cause I'm out in the club, and I'm sipping that bubb
And you're not gonna reach my telephone
My telephone, m-m-my telephone
'Cause I'm out in the club, and I'm sipping that bubb
And you're not gonna reach my telephone
We're sorry (We're sorry)
The number you have reached is not in service at this time
Please check the number or try your call again
Dallas Cowboys:
8-9-99, Fawcett Stadium, Canton, OH (Hall of Fame Game vs. Cleveland Browns)
Ironically, there's only one NFL franchise I've never seen play at Heinz Field or Three Rivers Stadium. And that team is... drumroll please... America's team.
Lady Gaga has been to the arena 4 times. She also sang a couple songs at a Joe Biden drive-in, campaign gig on Gold Lot 1 at Heinz Field a few days before America soundly rejected the Orange Prolapse.
Never seen her. Not really gaga 4 Gaga. However, I do like Pam.
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| Not gaga, but smitten. |
Until yesterday, I'd never seen the official video for Telephone. It's a little warped if you ask me. But has almost a half billion hits. So if you're an audio/video guru who loves Lady Gaga and despises the Cowboys, feel free to run with my alternative version. The lyrics are pretty tight.
Please do not share this material with Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones and/or Lady "Glendale Granddaughter" Gaga.
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