#996. Schlissel Whistle

University of Michigan President Mark Schlissel got fired over the weekend.  

All he wanted to do... was wet his whistle.

 

No, not drinking or DUI related.  It seems as though he was having an affair with a student.

But the Ann Arbor Board of Regents nailed him on a different matter.

You see, over a period of years, Schlissel used his university email account to communicate with a subordinate in a manner deemed "inconsistent with the dignity and reputation of the University."  

Hot damn!  Sordid, eh?  'Cause when you phrase it like that.  Well it makes my blood boil.

 

Schlissel Whistle
sonofsaf

What made Mark Schlissel whistle
Student foul temptress
His cum is evil, presidents are not kings
His cum is evil, and now he’s taking a fall
It’s the big lie…
Truth will set you free
Why did he screw…
Why did he screw…
What makes a Trumper lie
What makes a red Trumper pinker than an orange cunt
And why do we feed at the McDonald’s or else…
It’s the big lie…
Truth will set you free…
Why did he screw…
Why did he screw…

Kettle Whistle
Jane’s Addction

What makes a kettle whistle?
What makes gold precious?
How come some people, they'll show you everything?
How come some people, they don't like nothing at all?
Well I know why...
We all want to be
Beautiful too...
Beautiful too...
What makes a baby cry?
What makes a poor baby older than a rich one?
And why do we need to belong to someone else...
Well I know why...
We all want to be...
Beautiful too...
Beautiful too...

 

Since 1988, Jane's Addiction has played the Burgh a grand total of 8 times.  Easily one of my Top 10 favorite bands.

Favorite album?  Ritual de lo Habitual (although I cannot stand it's most popular song... Been Caught Stealing).  Close follow up is Nothing Shocking.  At the time, both releases were mind blowers.  And they still are.

Jane’s Addiction:

5-7-91, A.J. Palumbo Center, Pittsburgh, PA
7-19-03, Post Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA (Lollapalooza)
7-10-15, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA

Porno for Pyros:

8-20-93, I.C. Light Amphitheatre, Pittsburgh, PA

Although my parody contains some familiar Trumpian overtones (the state of Michigan, the presidency, the prestige, the adultery, the evil cum, etc.), I've decided not to include it in the Big Lie 100.

Please do not share this material with former University of Michigan President Mark Schlissel.