Friday, December 24, 2021

#930. Wakin' Up On Christmas

Oh the joy of Christmas.  Yesterday in Market Square I noticed they're offering free Santa Zoom tickets (with a $5.00 suggested donation to the Greater Pittsburgh Community Food Bank).   In 2021, Santa obviously made the critical decision to suspend reindeer travel and unwarranted chimney entry during the Covid uptick of the Omicron variant.

So the kiddos will get to chat with Santa via the internet while his white fat ass remains stationed at the North Pole.  

I wholly support the Santa Zoom concept.  As it nullifies the opportunity for any acts of physical pedophelia.  You gotta figure, about 1/2 of all mall Santas take the low-paying seasonal job strictly to achieve some form of sexual gratification.  Always been amazed that more parents don't see it that way.  Perhaps mall security could institute some kind of routine Santa boner patrol "pop surprise" inspection.



Then again, who am I too judge?


 


 

Wakin’ Up On Christmas
sonofsaf

[Musical Intro]

I spend my time abhorring
Religion is boring
Christianity is so fucking shitty
Many presents little love
And Santa jizzin’, Santa cuming
Wrapped in paper you should smoke a doobie
And Jesus Christ it’s time
To turn water into wine
And Stormy gives a blow job right away
So if you need some new toys
Buy a dildo ass destroyed
I’m gonna jack off in every way
And I be

Wakin’ up on Christmas (is so gay)
Wakin’ up on Christmas (games to play)
I be wakin’ up on Christmas (how sublime)
Wakin’ up on Christmas and jackin’ all the time
Jag off

All the presents you been wishin’
Pray to God you’re on a mission
Dancin’ on the ceiling say hello
Just start drinkin’ at the bar
Weave by a cop car
Blow your blood alcohol unless you’re yellow
Mother Mary was a cunt
Candid Camera Allen Funt
Santa’s fat ass is here to stay
If you ever need some toys
Dildo your ass destroyed
Stormy gives a blow job right away
And we be

Wakin’ up on Christmas (is so gay)
Wakin’ up on Christmas (games to play)
I be wakin’ up on Christmas (how sublime)
Wakin’ up on Christmas and jackin’ all the time

Mercy
Whooooo
All right

[Instrumental Interlude]

Wake the fuck up on Christmas
Hear what I say, you’re so gay
Whoooo

I spend my time abhorring
Religion is boring
Christianity so fucking shitty
Many presents little love
And Santa jizzin’, Santa cuming
Wrapped in paper you should smoke a doobie
And Jesus Christ it’s time
To turn water into wine
And Stormy gives a blow job right away
So if you need some new toys
Buy a dildo ass destroyed
I’m gonna jack off in every way
And I be

Wakin’ up on Christmas (is so gay)
Wakin’ up on Christmas (games to play)
I be wakin’ up on Christmas (how sublime)
Wakin’ up on Christmas and jackin’ all the time

[Brief Instrumental Interlude]

Wakin’ up on Christmas, whoo
Wakin’ up on Christmas
Wakin’ up on Christmas
Wakin’ up on Christmas
Wakin’ up on Christmas (is so gay)
Wakin’ up on Christmas (games to play)
Wakin’ up on Christmas (how sublime)
Wakin’ up on Christmas
And jacking all the time
Whoooo
Wakin’ up on Christmas
Wakin’ up on Christmas
Wakin’ up on Christmas
We be wakin’ up on Christmas
We be wakin’ up on Christmas
Wakin’ up on Christmas
Wakin’ up on Christmas

(Fades Out)

 

Takin' Care Of Business
Bachman Turner Overdrive

[Musical Intro]

You get up every morning
From your 'larm clock's warning
Take the 8:15 into the city
There's a whistle up above
And people pushin', people shovin'
And the girls who try to look pretty
And if your train's on time
You can get to work by nine
And start your slaving job to get your pay
If you ever get annoyed
Look at me I'm self-employed
I love to work at nothing all day
And I'll be

Taking care of business (every day)
Taking care of business (every way)
I've been taking care of business (it's all mine)
Taking care of business and working overtime
Work out

If it were easy as fishin'
You could be a musician
If you could make sounds loud or mellow
Get a second-hand guitar
Chances are you'll go far
If you get in with the right bunch of fellows
People see you having fun
Just a-lying in the sun
Tell them that you like it this way
It's the work that we avoid
And we're all self-employed
We love to work at nothing all day
And we be

Taking care of business (every day)
Taking care of business (every way)
We be been taking care of business (it's all mine)
Taking care of business and working overtime

Mercy
Whooooo
All right

[Instrumental Interlude]

Take good care of my business
When I'm away, every day
Whoooo

You get up every morning
From your 'larm clock's warning
Take the 8:15 into the city
There's a whistle up above
And people pushin', people shovin'
And the girls who try to look pretty
And if your train's on time
You can get to work by nine
And start your slaving job to get your pay
If you ever get annoyed
Look at me I'm self-employed
I love to work at nothing all day
And I'll be

Taking care of business (every day)
Taking care of business (every way)
I've been taking care of business (it's all mine)
Taking care of business and working overtime

[Brief Instrumental Interlude]

Takin' care of business, whoo
Takin' care of business
Takin' care of business
Takin' care of business
Takin' care of business (every day)
Takin' care of business (every way)
Takin' care of business (it's all mine)
Takin' care of business
And working overtime
Whoooo
Takin' care of business
Takin' care of business
Takin' care of business
We be Takin' care of business
We be Takin' care of business
Takin' care of business
Takin' care of business

[Fades Out]


 

Since 1975, Bachman Turner Overdrive, in one form or another, has been to Pittsburgh 7 times.  Never been BTO'd.  So which song is better?  You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet or Takin' Care of Business?  I'd have to say it's a complete toss up as both songs have an entirely identical feel.  Just ask anyone.  There is no subjective or objective answer.  It's the ultimate late 70's classic rock paradox.

Please do not share this material with Christians who wish to put the "Christ" back in Christmas.


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