#901. Jack Off And Vote For Mehmet

It will be a contentious, expensive, and crowded Democratic primary for U.S. Senate in Pennsylvania.  So let's not get ahead of ourselves. 

But if he were to emerge victorious (hint: Lt. Governor John Fetterman).  And face off against likely Republican challenger and television physician Dr. Mehmet Oz... I would cut an obvious Wizard of Oz parody commercial.  Although I'd probably use different lyrics.

Anyhoo, I'd expose him as a "sedentary miniature puppeteer" of sorts.  Manipulating voters from behind a large curtain.  A diminutive Hollywood guy worth a hundred million dollars who's sending out mass emails and text messages from a "computer room bunker," begging for money.  In the same vein as the Orange Prolapse.  

Focus on the New Jersey carpet bagging aspect.  Construct an ad with little PA geo-locator dots designed to highlight the towns and cities you've frequented.  Oz would have a few red dots popping up around Philly and maybe Pittsburgh and Harrisburg (slow boop, pause, another boop, pause, boop, etc.).  Differentiate your campaign with an infinite number of blue dots popping up based on all your prior campaign stops.  Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, etc.   It's all about showing up in person and being on the ground.  Traveling throughout the entire state and meeting the people.  Not dark money, Super PACS, and the endless commercial ad blitz.

I'd also coin the term "Sheetz bagger"... the notion that while Mehmet Oz might be familiar with Wawa, because he's from New Jersey, he lacks any authentic, substantive connection to the Western half of the keystone state.  I'd also casually quiz him during a live debate.  Steelers/Eagles name during World War II?  The 1943 Steagles.  State dance?  The polka.  State motto?  Virtue, Liberty, and Independence.  Here's a killer... name the 3 rivers that make up the confluence at the Point.  

But don't overdo it.

 

Jack Off And Vote For Mehmet
sonofsaf

Jack off and vote for Mehmet
The Senator Mehmet of Oz.
We swear he is the jizz of some jizz wherever the jizz cums from
Whenever, wherever the jizz cums from,
The Mehmet of Oz is scum because, because, because, because, because, because,
Because of the carpet bagging he does.
Jack off and vote for Mehmet
The Senator Mehmet of Oz.

 

We’re Off To See The Wizard
Harold Arlen

We're off to see the Wizard,
The wonderful Wizard of Oz.
We hear he is a whiz of a Wiz if ever a Wiz there was.
If ever, oh ever a Wiz there was,
The Wizard of Oz is one becoz, becoz, becoz, becoz, becoz, becoz,
Becoz of the wonderful things he does.
We're off to see the Wizard,
The wonderful Wizard of Oz.

Assuming Mehmet Oz disposes of his primary competitor Jeff Bartos, and to a lesser extent, political commentator Kathy Barnette, the general race will likely be the most expensive in the history of the entire U.S. Senate.  Big bucks.  Explain to voters that it shouldn't all be about money.  

Hey, populism is still a big hit in PA.  Look up the former Senator from the early 1990's... Harris Wofford.

Mehmet's campaign slogan "America First" is straight outta the Mar-A-Lago playbook.  So we're gonna include him in the Big Lie 100.

The Big Lie 100: (#161)

#390.  Big Lie (Free Ride --- Edgar Winter)

#487.  Donald's Big Lie (Mr. Blue Sky --- E.L.O.)

#495.  American Lie (American Pie --- Don McLean)

#520.  The Big Lie (When Doves Cry --- Prince)

#530.  Big Lie (High Time --- Grateful Dead)

#545.  Big Lie (Goodbye --- Night Ranger)

#548.  Trump World's, Big Lie (Big Girls, Don't Cry --- Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons)  

#549.  All A Big Lie (Live And Let Die --- Paul McCartney)

#550.  Would Trump Lie To You (Would I Lie To You --- Annie Lennox)

#552.  Big Liar (Big Spender --- Shirley Bassey)

 

#553.  Big Lie (Big Me --- Foo Fighters)

#555.  The Big Lie (Let Her Cry --- Hootie And The Blowfish)

#557.  Big Lie (Big Love --- Fleetwood Mac)

#559.  Big Lies (Big Balls --- AC/DC)

#561.  The Big Lie (Aces High --- Iron Maiden)

#562.  Big Lie Trump Overload (Goodbye Yellow Brick Road --- Elton John)

#563.  Byrne's A Bitch (Burn The Witch --- Radiohead)

#564.  As The World Byrnes (As The World Burns --- Kreator)

#565.  Lie (Cry --- Godley and Creme)

#567.  Byrne In Hell (Burn In Hell --- Twisted Sister) 

#571.  He's A Scrotum The Big Lie (I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry --- Hank Williams)

#594.  Lie Lie You Trumpers (Die Die My Darling --- Metallica)

#595.  To Live Is To Lie (To Live Is To Die --- Metallica) 

 

#596.  Don't Lie (Don't Cry --- Guns'n'Roses)

#597.  Big Lie (Big Time --- Peter Gabriel)

#601.  Lies (Lies --- Thompson Twins)

#602.  Liar (Liar --- Three Dog Night)

#606.  Lie Free-For-All (Fly On The Wall --- AC/DC)

#609.  Big Liar (Big River --- Grateful Dead)

#616.  Jeffrey Clark (Rosa Parks --- OutKast)

#626.  So Great At Big Lies (Too Late For Goodbyes --- Julian Lennon)

#627.  Liar (Liar --- Henry Rollins)

#630.  Lie!  Lie! (Why?!  Why?! --- Nancy Kerrigan)

#632.  Fucked Up Lie (Custard Pie --- Led Zeppelin)

#633.  Tommy (Zombie --- The Cranberries)

#636.  Everybody Blows (Justice League Soundtrack --- Sigrid)

#639.  Orange Clown (Small Town --- John Cougar Mellencamp)

#640.  Be Unforgiving And Never Stop Lying (Shawshank Redemption --- Morgan Freeman / Tim Robbins)

#643.  Stampede (Candide --- Leonard Bernstein)

#651.  It's The Big Lie (Electric Eye --- Judas Priest)

#653.  Who Killed Ashli Babbitt (Who Killed Roger Rabbit --- Robert Zemekis)

#656.  Dush (Hush --- Deep Purple)

#657.  Dush (Plush --- Stone Temple Pilots)

#658.  Gonna Rock The Vote (Evil Little Goat --- Pearl Jam)

#659.  Trump's An Asshole (Get In The Hole --- generic dumbshit golf enthusiast)

#660.  Trump's A Clown (Lay It Down --- Ratt)

#661.  Between The Lies (Between The Eyes --- Ratt)

#663.  Lies Of The World (Eyes Of The World --- Grateful Dead)

#667.  Hole Jim Jordan (Beast of Burden --- Rolling Stones)

#670.  Sean Parnell (Go To Hell --- Alice Cooper)

#671.  Patrick (Magic --- Olivia Newton-John)

#673.  Sidney Implants (Breast Implants --- women w/ fake titties)

#674.  We Abhor Sidney (Eleanor Rigby --- Paul McCartney)

#675.  Trust Us on J6 (Justice for J6 )

#676.  Fuck Lin Wood (Amii Stewart --- Knock On Wood)

#677.  Lincoln Wood (If I Could --- Phish)

#678.  Burt Jones (Them Bones --- Alice in Chains)

#679.  Harriet's A Liar (Chariots of Fire --- Vangelis)

#680.  Trump's A Liar (Light My Fire --- The Doors)

#681.  Liar  (Fire --- Jimi Hendrix)

#682.  Lee (Tea --- King Diamond)

#683.  Fuck You Michael Cloud (Get Off Of My Cloud --- Rolling Stones)

#684.  Disunion Forever (The Union Forever --- Sergeant Richard Pickman)

#688.  Fuck You Lou (Love Me Do --- The Beatles)

#690.  Say No Thanks, 'Cause Trump Is A Crook And... (Ball Park Franks slogan)  

#691.  Barletta Theme Song (Baretta Theme Song --- Sammy Davis Jr.)

#693.  Justice For Gay Pricks (Justice for J-6 --- Matt Braynard)

#694.  Marco... Homo (Marco... Polo --- unknown)

#699.  Kent Is A Woman (Scent Of A Woman --- Seinfeld)

#700.  GOP (Can't You See --- Marshall Tucker Band) 

#701.  So Contradictory, Matt DePerno (Nestle --- It's Not Delivery, It's DiGiorno)

#702.  Ellis Lie (Jealous Guy --- John Lennon)

#708.  Orange Prolapsin' (Sister Christian --- Night Ranger)

#709.  Burt (Hurt --- Nine Inch Nails)

#713.  Bad Thune Lying (Bad Moon Rising --- John Fogerty)

#719.  Donald Trumper Lies (Bette Davis Eyes --- Kim Carnes) 

#722.  Jody Hice (Paradise --- Coldplay)

#723.  Liar (Liar --- Sex Pistols)

#725.  Strategic Warning (Woke Up This Morning --- Alabama 3)

#726.  Lake's A Caucasian (Shake Your Foundations --- AC/DC)

#727.  Texas (Lexus --- Toyota Marketing Department)

#729.  V.P. Pee Song (1970's Steelers Polka Fight Song --- Jimmy Psihoulis)

#740.  Maximum Misery, Matt DePerno (It's Not Delivery, It's DiGiorno --- Nestle)

#742.  Subpoena No Doubt (The Sun Will Come Out --- Little Orphan Annie)

#743.  Congressman Cole (Head Like A Hole --- Nine Inch Nails

#745.  Scavino Never Cums (Tomorrow Never Comes --- Teddy Geiger)

#746.  Chucky (Lucky --- Radiohead)

#747.  Dan Scavino (Sweet Potato --- Cracker)

#750.  Queen Graham (Queen Jane --- Grateful Dead)

#754.  Fraud (Maude --- Alan and Marilyn Bergman)

#755.  Trump Oddity (Space Oddity --- David Bowie) 

#757.  Trump And Mark Meadows (Me And My Shadow --- Whispering Jack Smith)

#758.  I Allege Grievance (The Pledge of Allegiance --- Rev. Francis Bellamy)

#760.  Peter Theil (Spinning Wheel --- Blood Sweat And Tears

#761.  Brnovich (Burn The Witch --- Radiohead) 

#773.  Larry Was A Damn Conniver (Jerry Was A Race Car Driver --- Primus)

 

#776.  Bannon (Dannon --- Danone North America Marketing Department)

 

#778.  Jim Banks (Give Thanks --- Dan Moen)

 

#779.  Fiore (Old Glory --- Guttermouth)

#785.  Jack (Black --- Pearl Jam)

#788.  Duncan's A Right Wing Cunt (Time To Make The Donuts --- Dunkin' Donuts)

#789.  Parnell, Parnell (Rochelle, Rochelle --- Bette Midler)

#790.  Fat Huckabee (Bad Company --- Bad Company)

#791.  The Big Lie Con (Da Do Ron Ron --- The Crystals)

#796.  Sean Parnell (Might As Well --- The Grateful Dead)

#797.  Liberty (Misery --- The Beatles)

#798.  Here Cums The Cunt (Here Comes The Sun --- The Beatles)

#800.  The Friendliness Of The Central Perk Gunther (The Loneliness Of The Long Distance Runner --- Iron Maiden)

 

#801.  Youngkin's A Clown (You Spin Me Round --- Dead Or Alive)

#803.  Tomahawk (Body Talk --- Ratt)

 

#804.  Bolsonaro (Hot Potato --- The Wiggles)

 

#807.  Political Space (Critical Race --- The Republican Party)

 

#809.  Jen Psaki (Stagger Lee --- Grateful Dead)

  

#811.  Republican (Alone Again --- Dokken)

#812.  Genghis Kahn (QAnon --- Q)

#813.  Tax The Rich (Eat The Rich --- Krokus)

#816.  Mike Carey (Proud Mary --- Tina Turner)

#823.  Astro (world)? Not!  (Astronaut --- Yuri Gagarin)

#824.  Rupert The Asshole Murdoch (Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer --- Johnny Marks)

#825.  A Coup's Not A Drill (A View To A Kill --- Duran Duran)

#830.  Brainiac (Maniac/Gainiac --- Michael Sembello/Proctor & Gamble)

#833.  Gus Is Scum (Us And Them --- Pink Floyd)

#834.  Fleischmann (Fleischmann's --- Associated British Foods)

#837.  He's Pretty White (McCarthy) (Fight For Your Right (To Party) --- Beastie Boys)

#838.  I Guess That's Why They Call It A Coup (I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues --- Elton John)

#839.  Donald's Coup (Song Sung Blue --- Neil Diamond)

#840.  Coup D'Etat Plan (Blue Collar Man --- Styx)

#842.  Trump's Coup Autocrat (What's New Pussycat? --- Tom Jones)

#843.  Income Tax Cheat (Sesame Street theme song --- The Kids)

#844.  A Coup Solution (The New Solution --- Beck)

#845.  Alex Mooney (Do The Fonzie --- Suzie Quatro and the band)

#846.  Mick Mouse (Brick House --- The Commodores)

#847.  Matthew Rosendale (Peter Cottontail --- Gene Autry) 

#849.  Kevin Rathbun (In The Long Run --- The Eagles)

#850.  Donald Trump Is Sh*t (Believe It Or Not --- Greatest American Hero Theme Song)

#853.  Kevin Rathbun (Fortunate Son --- Pearl Jam)

#854.  Detmer Blows (Don't Let Go --- Weezer)

#855.  Bricker Sucks (Lick It Up --- Kiss)

#859.  Sean Parnell (Jingle Bells --- Korn)

#860.  The Oath Keepers (Jeepers Creepers --- Frank Sinatra)

#861.  Dan Cox (Squeeze Box --- The Who)

#862.  Alex Jones (Skin And Bones --- Foo Fighters)

#863.  Roger Stone (Turn To Stone --- Electric Light Orchestra)

#864.  Fuck You (Praise You --- Fatboy Slim)

#865.  Donald Trump's Not White (Take Me Home Tonight --- Eddie Money)

#867.  Parnell's Gone (Tuesday's Gone --- Lynyrd Skynyrd)

#871.  Donald's A Clown (Don't Let Me Down --- The Beatles)

#872.  Guillen's Not The Same (Killing In The Name --- Rage Against The Machine)

#876.  Donald Has Sinned (Dust In The Wind --- Kansas)

#880.  Donald Sucks Cocks (Love On The Rocks --- Neil Diamond)

#881.  Twitter Tweet (Gerry Raffety --- Baker Street)

#882.  Happy Thanksgiving (Among The Living --- Anthrax)

#883.  Donald Trump's A Cock (Love Is Like A Rock --- Donnie Iris)

#884.  Kern! Kern! Kern! (Turn! Turn! Turn! --- The Byrds)

#885.  Kern's A Faggot Asshole (Turn Up The Radio --- Autograph)

#888.  Fat Orange Clown (My Hometown --- Bruce Springsteen)

#890.  Trump Stinks (Love Stinks --- J. Geils Band)

#891.  Learning To Lie (Learning to Fly --- Tom Petty)

#893.  David Perdue (Mr. Magoo --- Vincent Artaud)

#894.  Cox  (Clocks --- Coldplay)

#896.  Fuck Beth Van Duyne (Telephone Line --- E.L.O.)

#898.  Name Is Beth Van Duyne (Lay It On The Line --- Triumph)

#899.  Beth (Beth --- Kiss)

#901.  Jack Off And Vote For Mehmet (We're Off To See The Wizard --- Harold Arlen)

Please do not share this material with Pennsylvania Senate candidate Mehmet Oz and/or former President Donald J. Trump.