#508. Philadelphia Eagles

Just for the record, I actually prefer the parody title "Philadelphia Treason."  Works better.  But when it's all said and done, I'd prefer to trash the NFL's marketing/branding as opposed to indulging my inner ego.

My late godfather was this guy Dick Silverman.  Lived in Newtown Square, PA.  Wealthy, philanthropic, gregarious, eccentric, etc.  He owned a few Cadillac dealerships around Philly.  And believe it or not, it's my understanding that he actually had a minority stake in the team back in the late 70's/early 80's. 

Dedicated to Hostile Golfer with whom we celebrated the Pixburgh 4th of July fireworks last night.    Lyrics even contain an obligatory Yardley shout-out.

Philadelphia Eagles
sonofsaf

We used to play at JFK you know
It was outta site
More scary than the underground railroad
Defensive end Reggie White’s our favorite son
But had to rearrange
The more they play the less their fans have fun

Still my blood runs green for the Philadelphia Eagles
Even though the team, they labeled me a fag
Philadelphia Eagles took a big dump garbage can, yeah
Like a bag of trash worse than a deadbeat dad

Oh Philadelphia Eagles, wanna fight, I hate you
Wanna fight, in the NFC least all the time
Wanna fight, wanna fight,
Wanna fight, don't you wanna fight
Philadelphia Eagles, I hate you, fuck you too

If you ring bells you can ring ‘em on your phone
Some people bring the shitty (some people bring the shitty)
Some others call the town of Yardley their home (some others call the town of Yardley their home)
I like smokin’ blunts and snortin’ coke all the time (smokin’ blunts)
Till the talons of the Eagles clawed me
Right between my thighs

Still my blood runs green for the Philadelphia Eagles
Even though the team, they labeled me a fag
Philadelphia Eagles took a big dump garbage can, yeah
Mm mm, Like a bag of trash worse than a deadbeat dad

Oh Philadelphia Eagles, wanna fight, I hate you
Wanna fight, in the NFC least all the time
Wanna fight, wanna fight,
Wanna fight, don't you wanna fight
Philadelphia Eagles, I hate you, fuck you too

Oh Philadelphia Eagles, wanna fight, I hate you
Wanna fight, int he NFC least all the time
Wanna fight, wanna fight,
Wanna fight, don't you wanna fight
Philadelphia Eagles, I hate,
You know I hate , you know I hate you
Fuck you too, Philadelphia Eagles
I hate you
Fuck you too, Philadelphia Eagles
You know that I hate you
Fuck you too, Philadelphia Eagles
Don't you know that I hate you
Fuck you too, Philadelphia Eagles
Don't you know that I hate you
Fuck you too, Philadelphia Eagles

Philadelphia Freedom
Elton John

I used to be a rolling stone you know
If a cause was right
I'd leave to find the answer on the road
I used to be a heart beating for someone
But the times have changed
The less I say the more my work gets done

'Cause I live and breathe this Philadelphia freedom
From the day that I was born I've waved the flag
Philadelphia freedom took me knee high to a man, yeah
Gave me a piece of mind my daddy never had
Oh Philadelphia freedom, shine on me, I love you
Shine the light, through the eyes of the ones left behind
Shine the light, shine the light
Shine the light, won't you shine the light
Philadelphia freedom, I love you, yes I do

If you choose to you can live your life alone
Some people choose the city (some people the city)
Some others choose the good old family home (some others choose a good old)
I like living easy without family ties (living easy)
Till the whippoorwill of freedom zapped me
Right between the eyes

'Cause I live and breathe this Philadelphia freedom
From the day that I was born I've waved the flag
Philadelphia freedom took me knee high to a man
Mm mm, gave me a piece of mind my daddy never had
Oh Philadelphia freedom, shine on me, I love you
Shine the light, through the eyes of the ones left behind
Shine the light, shine the light
Shine the light, won't you shine the light
Philadelphia freedom, I love you, yes I do

Oh, Philadelphia freedom, shine on me, I love you
Shine the light, through the eyes of the ones left behind
Shine the light, shine the light
Shine the light, won't you shine the light
Philadelphia freedom, I love,
You know I love , you know I love you
Yes I do, Philadelphia freedom
I love you
Yes I do, Philadelphia freedom
You know that I love you
Yes I do, Philadelphia freedom
Don't you know that I love you
Yes I do, Philadelphia freedom
Don't you know that I love you
Yes I do, Philadelphia freedom

 

Philadelphia Eagles:

8-16-03, Heinz Field, Pittsburgh, PA

8-26-07, Heinz Field, Pittsburgh, PA

8-18-11, Heinz Field, Pittsburgh, PA

8-18-16, Heinz Field, Pittsburgh, PA

Elton John:

Elton John, 6-11-99, Star Lake Amphitheater, Burgettstown, PA
Elton John, 3-23-11, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA
Elton John, 9-18-12, Wesbanco Arena, Wheeling, WV
Elton John, 10-10-18, PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, PA 

The older I get, the more appreciate Elton John.  He is the consummate professional.  Philadelphia Freedom's probably my favorite song.  And who among us doesn't enjoy a poignant Tiny Dancer or the triumphant Take Me To The Pilot?  Too many songs to mention. 

Since 1973, Elton has played the Burgh a grand total of 15 times.  A minor regret was missing the 1994 Elton John/Billy Joel summer concert at Three Rivers Stadium.

Of course we'll go check out the Elton John farewell tour next year at PNC Park.  They're already promoting the hell out of it and it's still over a year away in September of 2022.

 

Might even be tempted to hit his Progressive Field concert in Cleveland.  However, I must acknowledge my disdain for the inference that cums with "Yeah, Saf did a back-to-back Elton.  I guess that's how he rolls these days.  Oh how the mighty have fallen."  Fortunately, there's a 6 week gap between the shows.  So that line of attack lacks a certain measure of credibility.  Just sayin'.

For you all you Philly phanatics, last year I composed an exceptionally "tight" parody of Nazareth's "Love Hurts."  Yep... Zach Ertz.

Please do not share this material with Philadelphia Eagles owner Jeff Lurie and/or Eagles fans, players, management, coaches, etc.

#507. Kentucky

2021 started off with a bang.  It'll probably be known as the year of the insurrection.  But nobody could have predicted the disaster which would follow.  Not the mass shootings.  Not the incineration of the Pacific Northwest.  Not the Orange Prolapse continuing with his rallies.  

It was the disco splitsville.

The most horrific debacle of 2021 was easily the break up of that French electronica duo.  You know, the robot fucks.

 

What they really look like... Anthony Soprano Jr. and Napoleon Dynamite.

 In other news, this song's about that singular turtle fuck... Mitch McConnell.

Kentucky
sonofsaf

He is the ultimate of pricks
Dead end with the women
He’s like a turtle grinning
The earth it keeps on spinning

He is a star
Though he looks like a gar
A fish from afar
Beer googles in the bar
Mitch McConnell thinks he won
Mitch McConnell is pure scum
Mitch McConnell is a cunt
That Senator’s from Kentucky
Mitch McConnell thinks he won
Mitch McConnell is pure scum
Mitch McConnell is a cunt
Mitch McConnell’s from Kentucky
Mitch McConnell’s from Kentucky
Mitch McConnell’s from Kentucky
Mitch McConnell’s from Kentucky
Mitch McConnell’s from Kentucky

His vision cynicism
Life that’s not worth living
Wheeling and the dealing
His plans to deceive, he is shit

He is a star
Though he looks like a gar
A fish from afar
Beer googles in the bar
Mitch McConnell thinks he won
Mitch McConnell is pure scum
Mitch McConnell is a cunt
That Senator’s from Kentucky
Mitch McConnell thinks he won
Mitch McConnell is pure scum
Mitch McConnell is a cunt
Mitch McConnell’s from Kentucky
Mitch McConnell’s from Kentucky
Mitch McConnell’s from Kentucky
Mitch McConnell’s from Kentucky
Mitch McConnell’s from Kentucky

Mitch McConnell’s a cunt
Mitch McConnell’s a cunt
Mitch McConnell’s a cunt
Mitch McConnell’s a cunt
Mitch McConnell’s a cunt
Mitch McConnell’s a cunt
Mitch McConnell’s a cunt
Mitch McConnell’s from Kentucky
Mitch McConnell’s from Kentucky
Mitch McConnell’s from Kentucky
Mitch McConnell’s from Kentucky
Mitch McConnell’s from Kentucky
Mitch McConnell’s from Kentucky
Mitch McConnell’s from Kentucky
Mitch McConnell’s from Kentucky
Mitch McConnell’s from Kentucky
Mitch McConnell’s from Kentucky
Mitch McConnell’s from Kentucky

He is a star
Though he looks like a gar
A fish from afar
Beer googles in the bar

Mitch McConnell thinks he won
Mitch McConnell is pure scum
Mitch McConnell is a cunt
That Senator’s from Kentucky
Mitch McConnell is pure scum
Mitch McConnell is a cunt
Mitch McConnell’s from Kentucky
Mitch McConnell’s from Kentucky
Mitch McConnell’s from Kentucky
Mitch McConnell’s from Kentucky
Mitch McConnell’s from Kentucky

Mitch McConnell’s from Kentucky
Mitch McConnell’s from Kentucky
Mitch McConnell’s from Kentucky
Mitch McConnell’s from Kentucky

 

Get Lucky
Daft Punk

Like the legend of the phoenix
Our ends were beginnings
What keeps the planet spinning
The force from the beginning

We've come too far
To give up who we are
So let's raise the bar
And our cups to the stars
She's up all night 'til the sun
I'm up all night to get some
She's up all night for good fun
I'm up all night to get lucky
We're up all night 'til the sun
We're up all night to get some
We're up all night for good fun
We're up all night to get lucky
We're up all night to get lucky
We're up all night to get lucky
We're up all night to get lucky
We're up all night to get lucky

The present has no rhythm
Your gift keeps on giving
What is this I'm feeling?
If you want to leave, I'm with it

We've come too far
To give up who we are
So let's raise the bar
And our cups to the stars
She's up all night 'til the sun
I'm up all night to get some
She's up all night for good fun
I'm up all night to get lucky
We're up all night 'til the sun
We're up all night to get some
We're up all night for good fun
We're up all night to get lucky
We're up all night to get lucky
We're up all night to get lucky
We're up all night to get lucky
We're up all night to get lucky

We're up all night to get
We're up all night to get
We're up all night to get
We're up all night to get
We're up all night to get
We're up all night to get
We're up all night to get
We're up all night to get lucky
We're up all night to get lucky
We're up all night to get lucky
We're up all night to get lucky
We're up all night to get lucky
We're up all night to get lucky
We're up all night to get lucky
We're up all night to get lucky
We're up all night to get lucky
We're up all night to get lucky
We're up all night to get lucky

We've come too far
To give up who we are
So let's raise the bar
And our cups to the stars

She's up all night 'til the sun
I'm up all night to get some
She's up all night for good fun
I'm up all night to get lucky
We're up all night 'til the sun
We're up all night to get some
We're up all night for good fun
We're up all night to get lucky
We're up all night to get lucky
We're up all night to get lucky
We're up all night to get lucky
We're up all night to get lucky

We're up all night to get lucky
We're up all night to get lucky
We're up all night to get lucky
We're up all night to get lucky 

 

Never seen Daft Punk.  Never will see Daft Punk.  To be honest, I'm not entirely sure what any of that means in the real world.

Please do not share this material with Senate Minority Leader Bitch McConnell.

#506. He's Adam Schiff

Majority House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) has put forth her 1-6 commission.  Pretty impressive list of House members.  I'm curious to see who Kevin McCarthy appoints.  My hunch is that he'll refuse to appoint anyone, simply dismissing the entire investigation as a Democrat-inspired, partisan witch hunt.  That would be consistent with the behavior of a coward.  And that, is McCarthy.  His main focus right now is probably trying to come up with talking points about why 1-6 is different from Bengazi.

OR... he'll use the opportunity to appoint an ultra whack-job assortment of imbeciles.  Arrogant extremist shitheads like Paul Gosar, Mo Brooks, Andrew Clyde, Jim Jordan, Matt Gaetz, etc.

A more interesting question is what he'll do if he gets a subpeona ordering him to testify.  Along with the original instigators --- Trumpy Bear, Rudy "trial by combat" Giuliani, Donald Dump Jr. and his freakshow girlfriend Kim Guilfoyle.  My hunch is they'd all initially refuse.  Try to stall for as long as possible.  And then tie it up in the courts.

Breaking News: Guilfoyle's willing to testify.  But only regarding the girth of the Orange Prolapse.  It is this big!

 

He’s Adam Schiff
sonofsaf

If I may speak of the one six commish
Bipartisanship’s very bliss
Pelosi was an eyewitness
Pelosi bliss, Pelosi bliss

Proud Boys are white and filled with rage
History and turning the page
Our congressmen trapped in a cage
Bennie Thompson, Bennie Thompson

Oath Keepers dare you hear their cries
Hatred won’t yield the deep state spies
Contributes to how many die
They’d rather lie, I'd rather try

He’s Adam Schiff and he is thrilled
A flag unfurled, a flag that kills
The many days we search for crime
Prevent attacks, you’ll do the time

The Crystal Ship
The Doors

Before you slip into unconsciousness
I'd like to have another kiss
Another flashing chance at bliss
Another kiss, another kiss

The days are bright and filled with pain
Enclose me in your gentle rain
The time you ran was too insane
We'll meet again, we'll meet again

Oh tell me where your freedom lies
The streets are fields that never die
Deliver me from reasons why
You'd rather cry, I'd rather fly

The crystal ship is being filled
A thousand girls, a thousand thrills
A million ways to spend your time
When we get back, I'll drop a line

The Doors came to the Pittsburgh Civic Arena only twice.  Once when I was -1.  And once when I was 1. (1969 & 1970).  Regrettably, it's the other doors, 3 Doors Down, that has them beat.  They've been here 12 times since 2000.

Please do not share this material with any current members of the 1-6 Congressional Committee: Adam Schiff (D-CA), Zoe Lofgren (D-CA), Pete Aguilar D-CA), Stephanie Murphy (D-FL), Jamie Raskin, (D-MD), Elaine Luria (D-VA), Bennie Thompson (R-MS), and Liz Cheney (R-WY).

#505. Oakland Raiders

Back in the summer of 1995, I was hanging out with Withered Wife Beater.  We were game planning for the Allman Brothers at Star Lake.  I mentioned how I really didn't know many of their tunes and he was like, "Saf, you know their songs.  You just don't know that you know their songs.  I shrugged.  "Well, I do like the silver dollar song."  He replied, "Yeah, you mean Midnight Rider.  Definitely one of their better tunes."

As the concert came to a close, we watched from the steps on the main drag above the pavilion seats.  The "Whipping Post" encore came to an end.  He flashed a grin and said, "You gotta love that trash can ending.  Pure Allman Brothers."

So from 25+ years ago, I summoned the essence of that conversation and channeled my "inner fantasy" and penned "Darren Waller" (their indomitable 6'6" tight end).  Which morphed into a parody called "Oakland Raiders."

 

Oakland Raiders
sonofsaf

Well, I gotta catch, it keeps me balling
Take big breaths, to keep from stalling
My name is tight end Darren Waller
But I’m not gonna drop the ball you know
Not gonna let ‘em fuck the Oakland Raiders

And I don’t know gorilla warfare
Battle field, worthy (war thee) endeavor
My name is tight end Darren Waller
But I’m not gonna drop the ball you know
Not gonna let ‘em fuck the Oakland Raiders

When they play zone, I am so daring
Some pigskin, I’ll soon be wearing
My name is tight end Darren Waller
But I’m not gonna drop the ball you know
Not gonna let ‘em fuck the Oakland Raiders
No I’m not gonna drop the ball you know
Not gonna let ‘em fuck the Oakland Raiders
No I’m not gonna drop the ball you know
Not gonna let ‘em fuck the Oakland Raiders
But I’m not gonna drop the ball you know
Not gonna let ‘em fuck the Oakland Raiders

Midnight Rider
Allman Brothers

Well, I've got to run to keep from hiding
And I'm bound to keep on riding
And I've got one more silver dollar (Darren Waller)
But I'm not gon' let 'em catch me, no
Not gon' let 'em catch the midnight rider

And I don't own the clothes I'm wearing
And the road goes on forever
And I've got one more silver dollar
But I'm not gon' let 'em catch me, no
Not gonna let 'em catch the midnight rider

And I've gone by the point of caring
Some old bed I'll soon be sharing
And I've got one more silver dollar
But I'm not gon' let 'em catch me, no
Not gon' let 'em catch the midnight rider
No, I'm not gon' let 'em catch me, no
Not gon' let 'em catch the midnight rider
No, I'm not gon' let 'em catch me, no
I'm not gon' let 'em catch the midnight rider
But I'm not gonna let 'em catch me, no
Not gon' let 'em catch the midnight rider

Oakland Raiders:

12-7-03, Heinz Field, Pittsburgh, PA

12-6-09, Heinz Field, Pittsburgh, PA

11-21-10, Heinz Field, Pittsburgh, PA

Allman Brothers:

9-1-95, Star Lake Amphitheatre, Burgettstown, PA
6-25-97, Star Lake Amphitheatre, Burgettstown, PA
8-19-01, Post Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
8-16-02, Post Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
7-26-03, Post Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
9-5-04, Post Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
8-15-07, Post Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

Since 1971 (when I was 1), the Allman Brothers have played Pittsburgh 24 times.

The once-mighty Steelers open their home schedule against the arch nemesis Oakland Raiders.  Heinz Field will be at "full capacity" on September 19, 2021 for the traditional 1 o'clock start.   Curious to see how that "sold-out visual" manifests itself. #PSL4idiots

I suspect they'll bounce back after getting beat by the Bills... and start the season 1-1.  

Please do not share this material with NFL tight end Darren Waller and/or Oakland Raiders fans.

#504. Alvin Bragg

Looks like Alvin Bragg is going to be the new Manhattan District Attorney.  Even though the election's a ways off in the distance, this is a relatively foregone conclusion.  It's NYC and he's a Democrat.

He's the likely predecessor of Cy Vance.  Salute!  Bragg would most likely inherit a pile of Trump investigations.  Hot Damn!

Such a curious name.  As if a human being would actively brag about their affiliation with miniaturized Chipmunks.  Least of all the Alvin character.  That hipster dufus put the nasal in anal.

 

Alvin Bragg
sonofsaf

Oh if Trump had died from the virus Covid
We would have rejoiced a joyous win
Fuck him in the ass deliver by the pound
Let’s git down ‘cause he’s the orange clown

New York City’s Alvin Bragg
New York City’s Alvin Bragg

Alvin’s skin’s very dark, baby, no need to ask why
The cops they’ll be a bleedin’ as you hear the Trumper cries
Let’s start prosecuting, and do what’s right
We’ll talk some shit until the dawn’s early light

New York City’s Alvin Bragg
New York City’s Alvin Bragg

Let's see if others flip we’ll do what we can
Stick him in a prison all he’ll have’s his hand
Sing a song called Git The Skids and Overkill’s shred
Oh, we'll begin to obsess fuck ‘em up instead

New York City’s Alvin Bragg
New York City’s Alvin Bragg

Sleeping Bag
ZZ Top

When it's cold outside and you want to sleep in
Go for a pallet that's nice and thin
Zip it all around while it's on the ground
Spread it out and lay it on down

Slip inside my sleeping bag
Slip inside my sleeping bag

You're afraid of the dark, baby, no need to be shy
We'll talk about some lovin' while we look at the sky
Don't be hesitating, it'll be alright
We'll tuck it in until it's clean out of sight

Slip inside my sleeping bag
Slip inside my sleeping bag

Let's go out to Egypt 'cause it's in the plan
Sleep beside the pharaohs in the shifting sand
We'll look at some pyramids and check out some heads
Oh, we'll whip out our mattress 'cause there ain't no beds

Slip inside my sleeping bag
Slip inside my sleeping bag

ZZ Top:

4-19-86, Civic Center, Wheeling, WV

Fun fact for ya:  ZZ Top played 3 straight shows at the Civic Arena in Pittsburgh in 1986 (April 9, 10, & 11).  'Twas the venerable Afterburner tour.

Please do not share this material with Alvin Bragg.

#503. Vance

Of one thing I am absolutely certain.  Nobody will ever attempt a parody of what's customarily regarded as the worst Grateful Dead song of all-time.  That ignominious distinction belongs to "France."  Written during the peak of the 1978 disco wave.  Most people assume that a song so lyrically atrocious and musically abysmal... could only have been written by Donna Godchaux.  Not true.  It was composed by the trio of Mickey Hart, Robert Hunter, and Bob Weir.

Regardless, I thought I'd give it a stab.  So here's yet another tune about Ohio Republican Senate primary candidate J.D. Vance.  If he pulls out the early victory, I'd strongly suggest refraining from singing this bastardized version at any political celebration.

Truth be told, I think Vance is gonna win the primary.  

Vance should consider this single word, campaign slogan: AdVance

All of the other candidates are foolishly beholden to the Orange Prolapse, whose overall stock, is declining faster than downward facing dog.

• John Berman  (Republican Party)
• Mike Gibbons  (Republican Party)
• Michael Leipold  (Republican Party)
• Josh Mandel  (Republican Party)
• Bernie Moreno  (Republican Party)
• Zachary Musick  (Republican Party)
• Neil Patel  (Republican Party)
• Mackenzie Thompson  (Republican Party)
• Jane Timken  (Republican Party)

So Vance is the only candidate occupying the "normalcy" lane.  Percentage wise, I think this makes him the frontrunner in a low turn-out election.  Plus, he's got a superior life story and a ton of cash on hand.  

If you need a good chuckle, check out some of the endorsements.  Wow!  Senator Rand Paul from Kentucky is backing Mike Gibbons.  But the former U.S. Ambassadors to Morocco and Liechtenstein are all-in for Bernie Moreno.  Now that should turn some heads and galvanize support bigtime.  F'in Liechtenstein!  

Anecdotal, personal, tangential quip: I have a lifelong girlfriend (Hold the Thousand Island Dressing), who whenever she says me, somewhat condescendingly asks, "So Ricky, you working anywhere?"  Next time I'm gonna reply... "Oh my god, you didn't hear?  I'm the current Ambassador to Liechtenstein!"

 

Vance
sonofsaf

Don’t frown his name’s J.D. Vance ooh he’s got ants in his pants
The Orange Prolapse doesn’t care ‘cause he won’t give him a chance

He likes his steak medium rare brown or black the MAGA stare
Put the lotion all the while oh, in the basket of denial

They say that Trump has small hands and feet, Stormy Daniels on the beat
Fucked up in Mar-A-Lago they will give you jobs to blow

Let the Proud Boys go and fight have a coup d’etat that’s right
And the killing is a sign red as Klingon bloody wine

When Big Macs are the only meat and pink slime’s a special treat
Diet Coke for me and you gimme phenylalanine

But when you say can you see has such vigor not for me
Oh, Weisselberg’s in too deep with an extensive rap sheet

Don’t frown his name’s J.D. Vance ooh he’s got ants in his pants
The Orange Prolapse doesn’t care, yeah, his thick and balding hair
Don’t you breathe his colon waste maintain some generous space

Let the Proud Boys go and fight have a coup d’etat that’s right
And the killing is a sign red as Klingon bloody wine

His name’s J.D. Vance, ooh he’s got ants in his pants

France
Grateful Dead

Way down in the south of France all the ladies love to dance
Kick their heels up in the air snap their fingers for romance

While the gentlemen compare blonde or black or auburn hair
Check the motion and the style Oh, you know they take their while

Hey, to make the motion more complete, yeah, to make it more a treat
Club D'Jour is where to go come on down and see the show

When the rhythm's really right you can burn it down tonight
When the singing's really fine sweet as Spanish sherry wine

When the club can't contain the beat it just rolls out in the street
Spills on down the avenue bringing dancers to their feet.

When it's good as it can be it gets better wait and see
Oh, these folks don't ever sleep till they're passed out in the street

Way down in the south of France all the ladies love to dance
Clap their hands and walk on air, yeah, the feeling's really there
Won't you take a little taste raise it to your charming face?

When the rhythm's really right you can burn it down tonight
When the singing's really fine sweet as Spanish sherry wine

Go on take a chance, the ladies do love to dance

Grateful Dead:

04-08-89, Riverfront Coliseum, Cincinnati, OH
10-22-89, Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, NC
07-08-90, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA
09-07-90, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
09-08-90, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
03-18-91, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
03-20-91, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
03-21-91, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
06-09-91, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH
06-14-91, RFK Stadium, Washington, D.C.
06-21-91, Soldier Field, Chicago, IL
06-24-91, Sandstone Amphitheatre, Bonner Springs, KS
09-04-91, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
09-05-91, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
09-06-91, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
06-06-92, Rich Stadium, Orchard Park, NY
06-08-92, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
06-09-92, Richifeld Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
06-11-92, Knickerbocker Arena, Albany, NY
06-12-92, Knickerbocker Arena, Albany, NY
06-14-92, Giants Stadium, East Rutherford, NJ
06-15-92, Giants Stadium, East Rutherford, NJ
06-17-92, Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, NC
06-18-92, Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, NC
06-20-92, RFK Stadium, Washington, D.C.
06-22-92, Star Lake Amphiteatre, Burgettstown, PA
06-23-92, Star Lake Amphiteatre, Burgettstown, PA
06-25-92, Soldier Field, Chicago, IL
06-26-92, Soldier Field, Chicago, IL
07-01-92, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH
03-14-93, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
03-17-93, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
03-18-93, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
06-11-93, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH
06-18-93, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
06-21-93, Deer Creek Music Center, Noblesville, IN
06-22-93, Deer Creek Music Center, Noblesville, IN
09-09-93, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
09-10-93, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
03-20-94, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
03-21-94, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
07-29-94, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH
03-17-95, The Spectrum, Philadelphia, PA
06-30-95, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA
07-02-95, Deer Creek Music Center, Noblesville, IN

Bob Weir / Dead & Company

 

Bob Weir, 7-19-91, I.C. Light Amphitheatre, Pittsburgh, PA
Bob Weir, 8-31-92, I.C. Light Amphitheatre, Pittsburgh, PA

Ratdog & Phil Lesh, 7-18-01, Polaris Amphitheater, Columbus, OH
Ratdog & Rusted Root, 8-12-01, Post Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
The Other Ones, 11-29-02, Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, PA
The Dead, Bob Dylan, 8-6-03, Germain Amphitheater, Columbus, OH

Dead & Company, 11-13-15, Nationwide Arena, Columbus, OH

Dead & Company, 8-13-16, First Niagara Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

Dead & Company, 6-15-17, KeyBank Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
Dead & Company, 6-28-17, Blossom Music Center, Cleveland, OH

Dead & Company, 6-20-18, Blossom Music Center, Cleveland, OH

Dead & Company, 7-5-19, Folsom Field, Boulder, CO

Dead & Company, 7-6-19, Folsom Field, Boulder, CO

Damn.  I just listened to the song in its entirety.  It really is that bad.

 

Assuming Tim Ryan (D) wins the Democratic nomination, Ohio could have one of the more interesting, heavily contested Senate races in the country.  Perhaps even more so than Pennsylvania.

 

Please do not share this material with J.D. Vance and/or any of the Republicans running for the Ohio U.S. Senate seat in 2022.

#502. Vote For J.D. Vance

My original intention was for song #502 to be the Megadeth song entitled "502."  But that song's virtually impossible to parody.  It's kind of a metal stream of DUI consciousness.  Just didn't lend itself.  Not all songs do.  Including this one.  But I think it came out well.

Anyhoo, I'm doing another parody about Ohio Republican Senate candidate J.D. Vance.  And I've got another one in the hopper.  This one, in addition to my two others from last month:  Vance Vance Vance (Ratt) and Team Vance (David Bowie).  

(left to right: Abnormal Asshole and Vance)

 

You'd think it was my intention to physically "advance on Vance."  That I'm some sort of homo-hillbilly stalker from neighboring Pennsylvania, who used to live in West Virginia, that frequents Ohio.

Uh, perhaps I better stop talking.

Vote For J.D. Vance
sonofsaf

Ohio’s heaven, people so very kind
There’s a story to tell, and some of it will be mine
What was Donald Trump thinking, oh, not to mention Hannity
Scumbags who have sinned, like an orange prolapsin’ clown
A syndrome of the down they will always blow

Ohio’s heaven the arc of history bends
Cause Trump and his fake bling, is getting harder to defend
Reaching new lows gonna make fundraising calls
Watch the mighty take a fall, it's time for the ground and pound
Like syndrome of the down

Hold Donald Trump for his treason, hold Ivanka and her Jew
The endless shit and malfeasance but he’ll still screw
Proud of my service in Iraq, and even in Afghanistan too
But when the Donald whines ‘cause his bone spurs aren’t fine
I got a feeling that it’s time to choose, it’s time to choose

He’ll always blow, yeah he’ll always blow, blow
Ohio’s heaven but the arc of history bends
Now if you are willin' join me for some killin’
And make the U.S. great again

He’s still talkin', shutting up there is no chance
Cast a vote for JD Vance, a Republican romance
A syndrome of the down, well, he’ll always blow, job to blow
Listen, he's gonna be a Senate whore, and he's gonna fuck you more and more

St. of Circumstance
Grateful Dead

This must be heaven, tonight I cross the line
You must be the angel, I though I might never find
Was it you I heard singing, oh, while I was chasin' dreams
Driven by the wind, like the dust that blows around
And the rain fallin' down but I never know

Got to be heaven 'cause here's where the rainbow ends
If this ain't the real thing, then it's close enough to pretend
When that wind blows when the night's about to fall
You can hear the silence call, it's a certain sort of sound
Like the rain fallin' down

Hole's in what's left of my reason, hole's in the knees of my blues
Odds against me been increasin' but I'll pull through
I never could read no road map, I don't know what the weather might do
But when that rich wind whines and I see the dark star shine
I got a feeling there's no time to lose, no time to lose

Never know now, just don't never know, no
Well it's been heaven but even the rainbows will end
Now my sails are fillin' and the wind is willin'
And I'm as good as gone again

I'm still walkin', so I'm sure that I can dance
Just a Saint of Circumstance, just a tiger in a trance
And the rain fallin' down, well, you never know, just don't know
Listen, sure don't know what I going for, but I'm gonna go for it for sure

Grateful Dead:

04-08-89, Riverfront Coliseum, Cincinnati, OH
10-22-89, Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, NC
07-08-90, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA
09-07-90, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
09-08-90, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
03-18-91, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
03-20-91, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
03-21-91, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
06-09-91, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH
06-14-91, RFK Stadium, Washington, D.C.
06-21-91, Soldier Field, Chicago, IL
06-24-91, Sandstone Amphitheatre, Bonner Springs, KS
09-04-91, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
09-05-91, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
09-06-91, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
06-06-92, Rich Stadium, Orchard Park, NY
06-08-92, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
06-09-92, Richifeld Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
06-11-92, Knickerbocker Arena, Albany, NY
06-12-92, Knickerbocker Arena, Albany, NY
06-14-92, Giants Stadium, East Rutherford, NJ
06-15-92, Giants Stadium, East Rutherford, NJ *
06-17-92, Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, NC
06-18-92, Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, NC
06-20-92, RFK Stadium, Washington, D.C.
06-22-92, Star Lake Amphiteatre, Burgettstown, PA
06-23-92, Star Lake Amphiteatre, Burgettstown, PA
06-25-92, Soldier Field, Chicago, IL
06-26-92, Soldier Field, Chicago, IL
07-01-92, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH
03-14-93, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
03-17-93, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
03-18-93, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
06-11-93, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH
06-18-93, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
06-21-93, Deer Creek Music Center, Noblesville, IN
06-22-93, Deer Creek Music Center, Noblesville, IN
09-09-93, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
09-10-93, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
03-20-94, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
03-21-94, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
07-29-94, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH
03-17-95, The Spectrum, Philadelphia, PA
06-30-95, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA
07-02-95, Deer Creek Music Center, Noblesville, IN

Bob Weir:

 

Bob Weir, 7-19-91, I.C. Light Amphitheatre, Pittsburgh, PA
Bob Weir, 8-31-92, I.C. Light Amphitheatre, Pittsburgh, PA

Ratdog & Phil Lesh, 7-18-01, Polaris Amphitheater, Columbus, OH
Ratdog & Rusted Root, 8-12-01, Post Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
The Other Ones, 11-29-02, Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, PA
The Dead, Bob Dylan, 8-6-03, Germain Amphitheater, Columbus, OH

Dead & Company, 11-13-15, Nationwide Arena, Columbus, OH

Dead & Company, 8-13-16, First Niagara Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

Dead & Company, 6-15-17, KeyBank Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
Dead & Company, 6-28-17, Blossom Music Center, Cleveland, OH

Dead & Company, 6-20-18, Blossom Music Center, Cleveland, OH

Dead & Company, 7-5-19, Folsom Field, Boulder, CO

Dead & Company, 7-6-19, Folsom Field, Boulder, CO

* Great 2nd set.  Probably my favorite St. of Circumstance.

Box of Rain
Saint of Circumstance
So Many Roads
Terrapin Station
Drums
Space
I Need a Miracle
Standing on the Moon
Throwin' Stones
Not Fade Away

E. Knockin' on Heaven's Door

Please do not share this material with author/veteran/Ohio Senate candidate J.D. Vance and/or former McDonald's-in-Chief, Ronald J. Dump.

#501. Freedom Day

Breaking News:

I'm issuing a formal "sing off or get off" challenge to cunt-tree super-star Lee Greenwood.  

It's time to put up or shut up.

Here's the deal.  My latest parody must immediately replace that Lee Greenwood "God Bless the Bull Shit Hey" crap at all future Orange Prolapse rallies.  Now!

Ever wonder what it must feel like to be touched on the shoulder by an Orange Prolapse?  Well, now you know.

Simply stated, it's time for something new, something different... much like the oft-heralded, telemarketed fruit syrups of the West Virginia Troopers Association.  

If you really think about it, the whole nostalgia aspect makes my song a winner.  70’s and 80’s television sitcoms are pure Americana.  That shit is the rage.  Plus, I'm tackling gender equality, homo-eroticism, and how both subjects relate to the fast food industry… all of it in a patriotic context.  This parody doesn't just cover ground.  It covers acres of laugh-tracked excrement.  People chortling so heartily... that they end up shitting themselves.  Just sayin'.

 

 

Freedom Day
sonofsaf

What’s wrong with Mr. Furley
Couldn’t get a date
Stanley Roper he knew why
Was so homely

Three’s Company and we don’t care
Somers’ boobies, we all stare
Joyce DeWitt is, very fair
‘Cause we’re all white

Fourth of July
Fourth of July
Fourth of July
Fireworks live

I see you’re friends with Ralph Malph
Ginger had a big mouth
He’s funnier than the shit
‘Cause we’re all white

Got canceled and that’s a shame
The Brady Bunch was very lame
Every show had something to say
Freedom Day

Fourth of July
Fourth of July
Fourth of July
Fireworks live

Henry Winkler you see
The cable and the networks for a fee
The comedies
Are all in place
And that’s what makes for Happy Days

Fonzarelli you see
Ladies from the town of Milwaukee
The comedies
There was no blood
The Cunninghams showed lots of love

Most sitcoms did not show the queers
The studios they had their fears
But the characters still endear
‘Cause we’re all white

LGBTQ’s obscene
The gay activists very lean
The Orange Prolapse is very mean
‘Cause we’re all white

Fourth of July
Fourth of July
Fourth of July
Fireworks live

Taco Bell can give you the shits
Burger King results in an itch
Melania’s still a bitch
And we’re all white

Oh, damn, you’re kinda gay
Time to screw the anal way
What a fuckin’ great parlay, and
We’re all white

Fourth of July
Fourth of July
Fourth of July
Fireworks live

Fourth of July
Fourth of July
Fourth of July
Fireworks live

Fourth of July
Fourth of July
 Fourth of July 

Touch of Grey
Grateful Dead

It must be getting early
Clocks are running late
Paint by numbers morning sky
Looks so phony

Dawn is breaking everywhere
Light a candle, curse the glare
Draw the curtains, I don't care
'Cause it's alright

I will get by
I will get by
I will get by
I will survive

I see you got your list out
Say your piece and get out
Yes, I get the gist of it
But it's alright

Sorry that you feel that way
The only thing there is to say
Every silver lining's got a
Touch of grey

I will get by
I will get by
I will get by
I will survive

It's a lesson to me
The Ables and the Bakers and the C's
The ABC's
We all must face
And try to keep a little grace

It's a lesson to me
The Deltas and the East and the Freeze
The ABC's
We all think of
And try to keep a little love

I know the rent is in arrears
The dog has not been fed in years
It's even worse than it appears
But it's alright

Cows are giving kerosene
The kid can't read at seventeen
The words he knows are all obscene
But it's alright

I will get by
I will get by
I will get by
I will survive

The shoe is on the hand, it fits
There's really nothing much to it
Whistle through your teeth and spit
'Cause it's alright

Oh, well, a touch of grey
Kind of suits you anyway
That was all I had to say, and
It's alright

I will get by
I will get by
I will get by
I will survive

We will get by
We will get by
We will get by
We will survive

We will get by
We will get by
We will get by

Grateful Dead:

04-08-89, Riverfront Coliseum, Cincinnati, OH
10-22-89, Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, NC
07-08-90, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA *
09-07-90, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
09-08-90, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
03-18-91, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
03-20-91, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
03-21-91, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
06-09-91, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH
06-14-91, RFK Stadium, Washington, D.C.
06-21-91, Soldier Field, Chicago, IL
06-24-91, Sandstone Amphitheatre, Bonner Springs, KS
09-04-91, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
09-05-91, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
09-06-91, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
06-06-92, Rich Stadium, Orchard Park, NY
06-08-92, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
06-09-92, Richifeld Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
06-11-92, Knickerbocker Arena, Albany, NY
06-12-92, Knickerbocker Arena, Albany, NY
06-14-92, Giants Stadium, East Rutherford, NJ
06-15-92, Giants Stadium, East Rutherford, NJ
06-17-92, Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, NC
06-18-92, Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, NC
06-20-92, RFK Stadium, Washington, D.C.
06-22-92, Star Lake Amphiteatre, Burgettstown, PA
06-23-92, Star Lake Amphiteatre, Burgettstown, PA
06-25-92, Soldier Field, Chicago, IL
06-26-92, Soldier Field, Chicago, IL
07-01-92, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH
03-14-93, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
03-17-93, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
03-18-93, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
06-11-93, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH
06-18-93, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
06-21-93, Deer Creek Music Center, Noblesville, IN
06-22-93, Deer Creek Music Center, Noblesville, IN
09-09-93, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
09-10-93, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
03-20-94, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
03-21-94, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
07-29-94, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH
03-17-95, The Spectrum, Philadelphia, PA
06-30-95, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA
07-02-95, Deer Creek Music Center, Noblesville, IN

Bob Weir / Dead & Company

 

Bob Weir, 7-19-91, I.C. Light Amphitheatre, Pittsburgh, PA
Bob Weir, 8-31-92, I.C. Light Amphitheatre, Pittsburgh, PA

Ratdog & Phil Lesh, 7-18-01, Polaris Amphitheater, Columbus, OH
Ratdog & Rusted Root, 8-12-01, Post Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
The Other Ones, 11-29-02, Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, PA
The Dead, Bob Dylan, 8-6-03, Germain Amphitheater, Columbus, OH

Dead & Company, 11-13-15, Nationwide Arena, Columbus, OH

Dead & Company, 8-13-16, First Niagara Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

Dead & Company, 6-15-17, KeyBank Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
Dead & Company, 6-28-17, Blossom Music Center, Cleveland, OH

Dead & Company, 6-20-18, Blossom Music Center, Cleveland, OH

Dead & Company, 7-5-19, Folsom Field, Boulder, CO

Dead & Company, 7-6-19, Folsom Field, Boulder, CO

 

* memorable Touch of Grey opener.  And oh yeah, > Greatest Story

 

Please do not share this material with Lee Greenwood, living members of the Dead, and/or any Americans who celebrate the Fourth of July.  If you wish, and if it suits your purposes, feel free to alter the title of the song to "Kinda Gay."  "Freedom Day" and "Kinda Gay" are interchangeable.

#500. What A Festivus

My five hundredth parody!  

What a journey it's been.  This one's a more light-hearted spin on "Just The Two Of Us."  

Only 500 more to go for book #10.  And then the real fun begins.

What a Festivus
sonofsaf

I use a two line phone to call
Understudy sings for all
Shaky the mohel was a Jew
Send me those trench coats overnight
Stealin’ Roxy’s not a crime
And you need a Johnson rod or two

What a Festivus
Mabel Choate a marble rye
What a Festivus
(What a Festivus)
What a Festivus
You’re no banker pay the fine
For the rest of us
You and I

Hit up Tim Whatley’s for New Years.
Do not double dip that chip
The Chicken Roaster sign’s red glow
He’s from Ukraine and he’s irate
Game of Risk to dominate
Let’s buy a fruitier Bordeaux

(Oh) What a Festivus
I like Pepsi more than wine
What a Festivus
(What a Festivus)
What a Festivus
Mabel Choatin’ that marble rye
For the rest of us.
You and I

I watched the Rangers take a fall
To the Devils after all
You ever suffer for your soup?
And Jon Voight drove a LeBaron
AIDS walk wasn’t that much fun
I’m gonna cobble all your shoes
What a Festivus
Mabel Choate a marble rye

What a Festivus
(What a Festivus)
What a Festivus
Del Boca Vista when you die
For the rest of us
You and I
What a Festivus
(We can make it, what a Festivus)
Maybe the dingo ate your baby (yeah)
(What a Festivus)
What a Festivus
(We can fake it, what a Festivus)
(What a Festival)
(We can shake it, what a Festivus)
(What a Festivus)
(We can bake it, what a Festivus)
(What a Festivus)
(What a Festivus)
(What a Festivus)
(We’re not gonna take it, what a Festivus)
(What a Festivus)

Just The Two Of Us
Grover Washington

I see the crystal raindrops fall
And the beauty of it all
Is when the sun comes shining through
To make those rainbows in my mind
When I think of you sometime
And I wanna spend some time with you

Just the two of us
We can make it if we try
Just the two of us
(Just the two of us)
Just the two of us
Building castles in the sky  
Just the two of us
You and I

We look for love, no time for tears
Wasted water's all that is
And it don't make no flowers grow
Good things might come to those who wait
Not for those who wait too late
We gotta go for all we know

Just the two of us
We can make it if we try
Just the two of us
(Just the two of us)
Just the two of us
Building them castles in the sky
Just the two of us
You and I

I hear the crystal raindrops fall
On the window down the hall
And it becomes the morning dew
And darling when the morning comes
And I see the morning sun
I wanna be the one with you
Just the two of us
We can make it if we try

Just the two of us
(Just the two of us)
Just the two of us
Building big castles way on high
Just the two of us
You and I
Just the two of us
(We can make it, just the two of us)
Let's get it together baby (yeah)
(Just the two of us)
Just the two of us
(We can make it, just the two of us)
(Just the two of us)
(We can make it, just the two of us)
(Just the two of us)
(We can make it, just the two of us)
(Just the two of us)
(We can make it, just the two of us)
(Just the two of us)
(We can make it, just the two of us)
(Just the two of us)

 

Festivus easily makes my top 10 Seinfeld episodes.  I've never considered ranking them.  Perhaps someday.  Seinfeld's my second all-time favorite television series.  A distant second behind Sopranos.  My others: The Office (up until Steve Carrell left), Cheers (up until Shelley Long left), and Dallas.  Gotta love the old school J.R. Ewing character.  I was in my early teens.  What a fucking bastard!

Please do not share this with any descendants of Grover Washington Jr. (1943-1999) and/or Jerry Stiller (Frank Costanza).

#499. Just A Uterus

Quite possibly the most grotesque, offensive parody I've ever written.  And that's really sayin' somethin'.

Last summer, I was walking downtown and encountered the pro-life protesters on Liberty Ave.  They were handing out the usual pamphlets, intermittently praying, and so on and so forth.  But one of them had a picnic basket filled with "rubbery fetuses."

 I asked if I could have one and the woman responded "absolutely."  Then, she handed it to me and asked "what are you going to do with the baby?"  I replied, "At this point I'm not sure.  I just know it's something I need.  It speaks to me."  She smiled and said god bless you.  

A few days later I used it to help balance out the stability of a cedar chest in our living room.  The right front leg is chipped.

Just A Uterus
sonofsaf

I hear you’re gonna make the call
To the clinic down the hall
It helps to plan your parenthood
About the fetus from mankind
Paid for on the public dime
And the baby we will bid adieu

Just a uterus
Scrape it out now don’t be shy
Just a uterus
(Just a uterus)
Just a uterus
Late term abortion’s not a crime
Just a uterus
It will die

Come see the blood, and have no fear
Thrown out zygotes are a biz
Don’t get to know those embryos
Don’t use that period too late
Even when you’re on a date
We gotta know your Cro Mags show

Just a uterus
Scrape it out now don’t be shy
Just a uterus
(Just a uterus)
Just a uterus
Late term abortion’s not a crime
Just a uterus
It will die

I hope you’re gonna make the call
Make your boyfriend take the fall
Set an appointment just for you
And I’ll add up the patient’s sum
Neither daughter nor a son
It’s all a racket for the Jews

Just a uterus
Scrape it out now don’t be shy
Just a uterus
(Just a uterus)
Just a uterus
Late term abortion’s not a crime
Just a uterus
It will die
Just a uterus
(We can scrape it, just a uterus)
Say goodbye forever baby (yeah)
(Just a uterus)
Just a uterus
(We can scrape it, just a uterus)
(Just a uterus)
(We can scrape it, just a uterus)
(Just a uterus)
(We can scrape it, just a uterus)
(Just a uterus)
(We can scrape it, just a uterus)
(Just a uterus)
(We can scrape it, just a uterus)

 

Just The Two Of Us
Grover Washington

I see the crystal raindrops fall
And the beauty of it all
Is when the sun comes shining through
To make those rainbows in my mind
When I think of you sometime
And I wanna spend some time with you

Just the two of us
We can make it if we try
Just the two of us
(Just the two of us)
Just the two of us
Building castles in the sky  
Just the two of us
You and I

We look for love, no time for tears
Wasted water's all that is
And it don't make no flowers grow
Good things might come to those who wait
Not for those who wait too late
We gotta go for all we know

Just the two of us
We can make it if we try
Just the two of us
(Just the two of us)
Just the two of us
Building them castles in the sky
Just the two of us
You and I

I hear the crystal raindrops fall
On the window down the hall
And it becomes the morning dew
And darling when the morning comes
And I see the morning sun
I wanna be the one with you
Just the two of us
We can make it if we try

Just the two of us
(Just the two of us)
Just the two of us
Building big castles way on high
Just the two of us
You and I
Just the two of us
(We can make it, just the two of us)
Let's get it together baby (yeah)
(Just the two of us)
Just the two of us
(We can make it, just the two of us)
(Just the two of us)
(We can make it, just the two of us)
(Just the two of us)
(We can make it, just the two of us)
(Just the two of us)
(We can make it, just the two of us)
(Just the two of us)
(We can make it, just the two of us)
(Just the two of us)

 

Grover Washington Jr. played Pittsburgh only once.  (Star Lake on 6-20-92).   I was at a Dead show in Washington, D.C. that night.  RFK baby.  Not to besmirch Grover, but I'm quite certain I made the correct decision.

Please do not share this material with anyone who has ever had an abortion or has considered having an abortion.

#498. Ricketts Will Die

It's my contention that Nebraska's Governor Pete Ricketts is a disease.  

Ricketts sent 25 Nebraska State Troopers to the Texas border in a desperate attempt to placate the Orange Prolapse.

His lack of integrity is mirrored by his lack of a backbone.  Soft, brittle, cowardly and weak.  In essence, Ricketts is Ricketts.  I mean, seriously, why else would he participate in yesterday's border photo-op charade?  As if uprooting the lives of 25 individuals for 16 days is going to have a significant impact on security at the Texas border.  Hint: it won't.  It's all just part of the show.  The objective being to completely weaponize immigration heading into 2022.

More hatred and demonization yet to come.  #OrangeProlapse2024 

Ricketts Will Die
sonofsaf

Hispanics make him so mad
He thinks they’re all gay, yeah
He’s worse than a dead-beating dad
Support he won’t pay

We hope Pete Ricketts will die
We hope Pete Ricketts will die
We hope Pete Ricketts will die
And we don't care

He wants to play referee
He’s making us frown yeah
For we can’t all disagree
That he is a clown

We hope Pete Ricketts will die
We hope Pete Ricketts will die
We hope Pete Ricketts will die
And we don't care

We don’t know why he’s needin’ to lie
He’s as cold as ice
He’s a Trumper to a “T”
Don’t even bother asking him why
He’s as cold as ice,
He’s a Trumper to a “T”
Hispanics make him so mad
He thinks they’re all gay, yeah
He’s worse than a dead-beating dad
Support he won’t pay, yeah

We hope Pete Ricketts will die
We hope Pete Ricketts will die
We hope Pete Ricketts will die
And we don't care

We don’t know why he’s needin’ to lie
He’s as cold as ice
He’s a Trumper to a “T”
Don’t even bother asking him why
He’s as cold as ice,
He’s a Trumper to a “T”
He wants to play referee
He’s making us frown yeah
For we can’t all disagree
That he is a clown

Ah, we hope Pete Ricketts will die
We hope Pete Ricketts will die
We hope Pete Ricketts will die
And we don't care

Pete Ricketts beware, Pete Ricketts beware
Pete Ricketts beware, Pete Ricketts beware
Pete Ricketts beware, Pete Ricketts beware

Ticket To Ride
The Beatles

I think I'm gonna be sad
I think it's today, yeah
The girl that's driving me mad
Is going away

She's got a ticket to ride
She's got a ticket to ride
She's got a ticket to ride
But she don't care

She said that living with me
Is bringing her down yeah
For she would never be free
When I was around

She's got a ticket to ride
She's got a ticket to ride
She's got a ticket to ride
But she don't care

I don't know why she's ridin' so high
She ought to think twice
She ought to do right by me
Before she gets to saying goodbye
She ought to think twice,
She ought to do right by me
I think I'm gonna be sad
I think it's today yeah
The girl that's driving me mad
Is going away, yeah

She's got a ticket to ride
She's got a ticket to ride
She's got a ticket to ride
But she don't care

I don't know why she's ridin' so high
She ought to think twice
She ought to do right by me
Before she gets to saying goodbye
She ought to think twice
She ought to do right by me
She said that living with me
Is bringing her down, yeah
For she would never be free
When I was around

Ah, she's got a ticket to ride
She's got a ticket to ride
She's got a ticket to ride
But she don't care

My baby don't care, my baby don't care
My baby don't care, my baby don't care
My baby don't care, my baby don't care

Paul McCartney:

2-12-90, Riverfront Coliseum, Cincinnati, OH

4–29-02, Gund Arena, Cleveland, OH

8-18-10, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA

7-7-14, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA

Please do not share this material with Governors Pete Ricketts (R-NE), Kristi Noem (R-SD), Kim Reynolds (R-IA), Ron DeSantis (R-FL), Greg Abbott (R-TX) and/or former President Donald J. Trump.

#497. Can't Stand Kristi Noem

South Dakota's Kristi Noem is just one of several Republican governors who are sending between 25-50 members of their own state's National Guard to the U.S./Mexico border for a really dangerous op... as in photo-op.

Regarding border security, the Republican governors of South Dakota, Iowa, Nebraska, and especially Florida must feel uniquely threatened.  Gee, I wonder why.

Today's Trump "border rally" in Texas was incredibly dangerous.  The Orange Prolapse is demonstrating his ability to physically mobilize multiple state-sponsored mercenary groups.  You know, because Biden is incapable of securing our Southwestern border.  It's all part of a progression.  It won't be terribly long before Trump is pretending to strike deals and meet with leaders abroad.  He's already gone full throttle with the notion that he's still the President.  Soon he'll be preparing to launch his own shadow government.  We're already well underway... and nobody seems to give a shit.

That, is what's really going on.  The vast majority of political pundits can't fathom it because it's never happened before in the United States.  Well basically since the Union and Confederacy.

Can’t Stand Kristi Noem
sonofsaf

What a damn Trump clone and South Dakota unknown
It’s all very strange
Committin' treason and recruiting volunteers
With hepatitis B

Well, I recommend that you refrain from crime
If you tasted her you can’t stand Kristi Noem

I can't stand Kristi Noem
Why I can’t stand Kristi Noem
Why I can’t stand Kristi Noem
Why I can’t stand Kristi Noem
Yeah I can’t stand Kristi Noem

That rotten cunt smells strong
Why I can’t stand Kristi Noem

 

Can’t Find My Way Home
Blind Faith

Come down off your throne and leave your body alone
Somebody must change
You are the reason I've been waiting all these years
Somebody holds the key

Well, I'm near the end and I just ain't got the time
And I'm wasted and I can't find my way home

I can't find my way home
But I can't find my way home
But I can't find my way home
But I can't find my way home
Still I can't find my way home

And I've done nothing wrong
But I can't find my way home

Steve Winwood:

7-17-16, First Niagara Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA 

Eric Clapton:

4-6-13, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA

Never seen Blind Faith.  They toured the United States in 1969... when I was the tender age of -1.

Please do not share this material with Governors Kristi Noem (R-SD), Pete Ricketts (R-NE), Kim Reynolds (R-IA), Governor Ron DeSantis (R-FL), and former President Donald J. Trump.