Kristi Noem recently issued a fugazi press release. She even created fake State Department letterhead.
Cosplay Kristi needed to clarify the lie that her appointment to the "Shield of Americas" (a fictitious envoy position which never existed) was only for 6 months.
See, this way Noem can claim that she never got dumped by Trump.
| More like Trump Stump. |
Still, let's give Kristi an Orange Prolapse Participation Trophy.
Well deserved. Hey, she's just trying to BeBest!
Noem
sonofsaf
Orange shitshow will fight
Orange Prolapse bullshit from the MAGA right
Shitshow shits on golden thrones
Stalls of toilet shame
Forty-seven’s so fuckin’ gay
Tahoe has the tiniest of bones
Stormy tripped on a shroom
Piece of shit is scum, and doom
Ivanka’s a god damn Jew
Kristi Noem’s wants a Big Mac today
McDonald’s Big Mac bite, Big Mac bite, of hate
Never BeBest, just hate
Stormy D.’s some horseface bullshit
Stormy D.’s panty raid
Washington D.C.’s where evangelicals pray
Lake Tahoe’s gay dump the night away
(Stormy D.’s some horseface bullshit
Stormy D.’s panty raid).
Lake Tahoe’s gay dump the night away
Orange shitshow will fight
Orange Prolapse bullshit from the MAGA right
Shitshow shits on golden thrones
Stalls of toilet shame
Ivanka Trump is a Jew who’s strange
Jared Kushner’s a Jew who’s strange
Poem
U.S. Girls
We all know what's right
We didn't get it from a book or a site
We know it in our bones
All blood flows the same
So why did we end up this way?
While we were looking at your phones
They snuck it in the room
Planted it and then, it bloomed
And look was all we could do
In a poem unlimited we stay
And on a lawless night, lawless night, we wait
Holding our breath, we wait
No one needs to make a profit
No one needs to get paid
If we all agree we don't have to live that way
But to this day we choose the hard way
(No one needs to make a profit
No one needs to get paid)
But to this day we choose the hard way
We all know what's right
We didn't get it from a book or a site
We know it in our bones
All blood flows the same
So what are we gonna do to change?
What are we gonna do to change?
A little too synthetic/melodramatic for my tastes.
U.S. Girls have never played the Burgh. Never heard of 'em.
Anyhoo, welcome to the 47+ Club. I've now penned over 47 parodies of Kristi Noem. Truth be told, the total is more like 60+.
Gnome Top 10:
#1. Noem Sweet Noem: (Motley Crue --- Home Sweet Home)
#242. Cumming Noem: (Scorpions --- Coming Home)
#249. Sweet Noem South Dakota: (Lynyrd Skynyrd --- Sweet Home Alabama)
#301. Welcome Noem Planetarium: (Metallica --- Welcome Home Sanitarium)
#302. Who Says You Can't Blow Noem: (Bon Jovi --- Who Says You Can't Go Home)
#303. Noem: (Daughtry --- Home)
#497. Can't Stand Kristi Noem: (Blind Faith --- Can't Find My Way Home)
#515. Fuck The Leech: (Jane's Addiction --- Up The Beach)
#535. Welcome Noem: (King Diamond --- Welcome Noem)
#536. Noem: (Phish --- Foam)
#703. Noem: (Unknown --- universal meditation mantra)
#704. Asshole Noem: (Astrodome --- Houston ex-mayor, Roy Hofheinz)
#721. I Haunt Kristi Noem (Me Want Honeycomb --- Post Mills marketing dept.)#1009. Noem (Home --- Foo Fighters)
#1319. Kristi Noem's, Cunt Explodes (Take Me Home Country Roads --- John Denver)
#1813. Kristi Noem (Kodachrome --- Paul Simon)
#1816. Kristi Noem (Hell Is Chrome --- Wilco)
#2066. Noem (Roam --- The B-52's)
#2148. Kristi's, A Fucking Gnome (Mama, I'm Coming Home --- Ozzy Osbourne)
#2542. Cricket's Fucked (Lick It Up --- Kiss)
#2544. Cricket Has Died (Ticket To Ride --- The Beatles)
#3008. Kristi Lynn Noem (Autumn In Rome --- Tony Bennett)
#3009. Noem (Rome --- Destroyer)
#3011. Kristi Lynn Noem (Under A Dome --- Of Monsters And Men)
#3016. Kristi Noem (Heart Of Rome --- Elvis Presley)
#3025. Noem Crust (Dome Rust --- Guided By Voiced)
#3046. Noem (Rome --- Yeaslayer)
#3195. Kristi Noem (Stay At Home --- Men At Work)
#3196. Kristi Noem (Palindrome --- Azure Ray)
#3269. Kristi Noem (Welcome Home --- My Morning Jacket)
#3273. Kristi L. Noem (Under A Dome --- Of Monsters And Men)
#3687. Kristi's ICE (The Thin Ice --- Pink Floyd)
#3697. Kristi Noem (Room to Roam --- The Waterboys)
#3698. Kristi Noem (When In Rome --- Psychedelic Porn Crumpets)
#3739. Kristi Noem (When In Rome --- Mudhoney)
#3750. Kristi Noem (Welcome Home --- Vein.fm)
#3751. Kristi Noem (Welcome Home --- Said The Sky)
#3752. Kristi Noem (Welcome Home --- Sponge)
#3754. Noem (Home --- Nine Inch Nails)
#3755. Kristi Noem (Welcome Home --- Michael W. Smith)
#3761. Kristi Noem (Welcome Home --- Dusty Springfield)
#3781. Whore Kristi Lynn Noem (George Isn't At Home --- Seinfeld)
#3790. Kristi Noem (Stay At Home --- Sleep On It)
#4061. Noem Is Deranged (Home On The Range --- John Denver)
#4062. Noem (Home --- Low)
#4063. Kristi Noem (Letters Home --- Childish Gambino)
#4064. Noem (Home --- Casting Crowns)
#4068. Noem (Home --- Aurora)
#4179. Kristi Noem! (Stay at Home! --- CG5)
#4218. Kristi Noem (Deja's Poem --- Blackstreet)
#4219. Kristi Noem (Clinic Poem --- Rosie Tucker)
#4220. Kristi Noem (Jeff's Snooze Poem --- The Wiggles)
#4221. Kristi Lynn Noem (Epic Love Poem --- Deerhoof)
#4222. Kristi Noem (Nigel's Poem --- Spinal Tap)
#4224. Kristi Noem (Soldier's Poem --- Muse)
#4225. Noem (Poem --- LP)
#4229. Kristi Noem (Eight Line Poem --- David Bowie)
#4233. Noem Isn't Great (Poem 58 --- Chicago)
#4234. Kristi Noem (High School Poem --- The Knife)
#4236. Noem (Poem --- U.S. Girls)

