#1174. Nutting Plan

Pirates owner Bob Nutting and I have something in common.  

Everyone hates us.  Albeit for entirely different reasons.

I actually like Bob.  Our encounters have always been relatively pleasant.  Even though the subject matter (people being crush asphyxiated and/or trampled to death) is a tad unpleasant.  So if he were to ever stumble upon my parodies of him, I hope he won't be too offended.  Trust me, it's.... 

 

 

 

Nutting Plan
sonofsaf

So misguided, money’s a god damn fact
Bob Nutting’s token pitchers won’t attack
Give him a loan when his Pirates ship’s sinking
Push comes to shove, Bob has an asshole that is winking

Pittsburgh Pirates frightening, worst in the NL you know

Nutting plan
Nutting plan
Rejoice and cash-in, Nutting plan

He done deceived all the yinzers in heaven and hell
He doesn’t listen, all the fans they cried
No one cares foreigner has a West Virginia smell
He owns a cape,  a Superman from hell

The team has regrets unless his dick is dismembered… Oh oh oh

Nutting plan
Nutting plan
Rejoice and cash-in, Nutting plan

Ooh, we don't want him (we don't want him)
Oh, but we need him and his bean counting ways

Oh, Nutting’s the man
Ah, Nutting’s the man
Earn (earn), earn, earn

Nutting plan
Nutting plan
Rejoice and cash-in, Nutting plan
Nutting plan
Nutting plan
He is the boy king, Nutting plan

Uh, uh oh oh oh
Uh oh oh oh 

Nothingman
Pearl Jam

Once divided, nothing left to subtract
Some words when spoken can't be taken back
Walks on his own with thoughts he can't help thinking
Future's above, but in the past he's slow and sinking

Caught a bolt of lightning, cursed the day he let it go

Nothingman
Nothingman
Isn't it something, nothingman

She once believed in every story he had to tell
One day she stiffened, took the other side
Empty stares from each corner of a shared prison cell
One just escapes, one's left inside the well

And he who forgets will be destined to remember... Oh oh oh

Nothingman
Nothingman
Isn't it something, nothingman

Ooh, she don't want him (she don't want him)
Oh, she won't feed him after he's flown away

Oh, into the sun
Ah, into the sun
Burn (burn), burn, burn

Nothingman
Nothingman
Isn't it something, nothingman
Nothingman
Nothingman
Coulda been something, nothingman

Uh, uh oh oh oh
Uh oh oh oh

 

There's only one outdoor show on Pearl Jam's entire 2022 fall tour.  September 14 in Camden, NJ.  Everything else is indoors.  I've never been to a "gathering in the ghetto."  Tempting... but it probably won't happen.

Pearl Jam:

8-25-98, Star Lake Amphitheater, Burgettstown, PA
9-5-00, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
9-28-05, PNC Park, Pittsburgh, PA (opened for the Rolling Stones)
6-23-06, Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, PA
10-27-09, Wachovia Spectrum, Philadelphia, PA
10-28-09, Wachovia Spectrum, Philadelphia, PA
5-6-10, Nationwide Arena, Columbus, OH
5-9-10, Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, OH
10-11-13, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA
10-1-14, U.S. Bank Arena, Cincinnati, OH
9-26-15, Central Park, New York City, NY (Global Citizen Festival)
4-28-16, Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, PA
4-29-16, Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, PA

The Wheeling Nutcracker Top 10: 

#357.  Nutting Baseball (Nothing At All --- Heart)

#359.  Nutting Else Matters (Nothing Else Matters --- Metallica)

#363.  Bob (Bob --- Primus)

#417.  Buccos What The Fuck (Hillbilly Deluxe --- Brooks And Dunn)

#598.  Lemonade (Renegade --- Styx)

Ballpark.  (Dark Star --- Grateful Dead)

#1159.  MLB (Can't You See --- Marshall Tucker Band)

#1161.  Nutting's Gonna Fuck Us Now (Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now --- Jefferson Airplane)

#1174.  Nutting Plan (Nothingman --- Pearl Jam)

Please do not share this material with Pittsburgh Pirates owner Bob Nutting.