I have yet to attend a Buccos game post-Covid. But as the fans begin trickling back into PNC Park, I've found myself somewhat, shall we say, "slightly inspired and mildly reinvigorated."
Nutting Else Matters
sonofsaf
Owner, doesn’t take us far
Building back better from the start
He comes from Wheeling in a car
And Nutting else matters
Never told the fans he’s gay
Planet Mars, not too far away
Smear your turds, engage scat play
And Nutting else matters
Buccos weak you spend like a Jew
Mazel Tov TV rights accrue
Open ass show your prolapse too
And Nutting else matters
Never shared my revenue
Never shared some of my dough
Oh I blow
Owner, doesn’t take us far
Building back better from the start
He comes from Wheeling in a car
And Nutting else matters
Never shared my revenue
Never shared some of my dough
Oh I blow
Never told the fans he’s gay
Planet Mars, not too far away
Smear your turds, engage scat play
And Nutting else matters
Buccos weak you spend like a Jew
Mazel Tov TV rights accrue
Open ass show your prolapse too
And Nutting else matters
Never shared my take home pay
Never cared Bob’s here to stay
Never shared my revenue
Never shared some of my dough
And I blow, yeah, yeah
Owner, doesn’t take us far
Building back better from the start
He comes from Wheeling in a car
And Nutting else matters
Nothing Else Matters
Metallica
So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters
Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words, I don't just say
And nothing else matters
Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know
So close, no matter how far
It couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know
I never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words, I don't just say
And nothing else matters
Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters
Never cared for what they say
Never cared for games they play
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
And I know, yeah, yeah
So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
No, nothing else matters
Metallica:
6-15-88, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA
6-22-88, Rubber Bowl, Akron, OH
11-18-88, Cincinnati Gardens, Cincinnati, OH
4-16-89, Hara Arena, Dayton, OH
7-26-92, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA (w/ Guns'n'Roses & Faith No More)
3-26-97, Civic Arena, Pittsburgh, PA
10-18-18, PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, PA
So in my 50 years of existence, how many Pittsburgh Pirates games have I attended? Interesting question. I'd likely say somewhere in the neighborhood of 211. The superior question is how many games have I attended from start to finish? Probably about 7.
How many times have I verbally engaged Pirates owner Bob Nutting? Oh, about a dozen or so. That's despite my repetitive insistence that he be more forthcoming about emergency evacuation protocol, fan safety and ballpark security.
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| This specific gesticulation best encapsulates my personal encounters with the hillbilly billionaire. |
Just for the record, Bob's always been pleasant. But truth be told, really doesn't give a shit.
How much money have I spent on tickets? Hmm, I'd estimate a grand total of maybe $47.00. How much have I spent on merchandise? Well, I once bought a Bucco flag for a couple bucks from a vendor outside. Ended up gluing a bunch of Jolly Rancher cellophane candy wrappers all over it. So in the unlikely event of a victory, I could literally and physically raise the "Jolly Rancher." It's gotten rave reviews.
How much money have I made buying/reselling/scalping Pirates tickets? Probably in the neighborhood of $3,500. Steelers games... definitely closer to the 10K mark.
How much have I spent on food and beverages inside the ballpark. Well, I almost always get a Primanti's sandwich or a hot dog or something. And sometimes a beer. Which translates into about $15 - $20. So I'd estimate about 3 G's. That's 3 large, 3 dimes, 3 boxes of ziti, whatever.
How many times have I paid for parking? I can only recall one occasion where I footed the bill. A friend drove and parked in the premium gold lot diagonal to the home plate entrance. Just for the record, when it comes to parking for the Pirates or Steelers, I always park on the North Side in the exclusive Giant Eagle bus stop spot a/k/a the "island in the sun."
If you steal my spot, I'll key your car. Consider yourself warned.
Please do not share this material with Pirates owner Bob Nutting.
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