#369. Porn In The U.S.A.

The way I see it, our cunt tree, the fucking United States of America, exceeds at three things.  Porn, porn, and more porn.  

Back in the day, I remember these massive outdoor Lamar Advertising billboards all over the state of Ohio.  They were conveniently located in close proximity to all of the Lion's Den adult superstores.

I've always wondered exactly what it takes to be considered "a real man."  Now we're talkin' legit manhood here.  Hmm, well according to Pat Robertson and his 700 Club, the group that spearheaded this public relations campaign, a state of manliness applies if you're a construction worker, salesperson, soldier, astronaut (WTF?!?) and/or football player.

Just for the record, this song was originally entitled Korn in the U.S.A.  And it was supposed to be about Korn and heavy metal in general.  I normally refrain from re-parodizing the same song but that one might have potential.  This one turned out above average.

Porn In The U.S.A.
sonofsaf

Stormy Daniels not a clown
Unlike an Orange Prolapse in a Tahoe town
He ends up shittin’ logs ‘cause he ate too much
Big Macs and chocolate shakes just livin’ it up

Porn in the U.S.A.
I want porn in the U.S.A.
I want porn in the U.S.A.
Porn in the U.S.A.

We got some incest homegrown fam
Double penetration butt gets canned
Ass can take an entire hand
Dildo and thrill a trans woman

Porn in the U.S.A.
I want porn in the U.S.A.
I want porn in the U.S.A.
I want porn in the U.S.A.
Porn in the U.S.A.

I visited a Trump winery
Trumpy bitch says "Son of Saf don’t fuck with me"
Orange clown’s barred from his twitter plan
He said "Saf, I know that you’re banned"

I saw your mother on a farm milfin’ with a horse’s dong
Worse for wear, crack of dawn
She’s gettin’ Bezosed in the Amazon
And now you know she’s milkin’ Bessie the cow

Hot teens underage in the elementary
Vibrators in the holes it’s just machinery
There’s some queers churning heavy loads
They wanna cum and so they’re gonna blow

Porn in the U.S.A.
I want porn in the U.S.A.
Porn in the U.S.A.
I'm a big bone dicky in the U.S.A.
Porn in the U.S.A.
Porn in the U.S.A.
Porn in the U.S.A.
You’re a cock sucking licky in the U.S.A. 

 

Born In The U.S.A.
Bruce Springsteen

Born down in a dead man's town
The first kick I took was when I hit the ground
You end up like a dog that's been beat too much
Till you spend half your life just covering up

Born in the U.S.A.
I was born in the U.S.A.
I was born in the U.S.A.
Born in the U.S.A.

Got in a little hometown jam
So they put a rifle in my hand
Sent me off to a foreign land
To go and kill the yellow man

Born in the U.S.A.
I was born in the U.S.A.
I was born in the U.S.A.
I was born in the U.S.A.
Born in the U.S.A.

Come back home to the refinery
Hiring man says "Son if it was up to me"
Went down to see my V.A. man
He said "Son, don't you understand"

I had a brother at Khe Sanh fighting off the Viet Cong
They're still there, he's all gone
He had a woman he loved in Saigon
I got a picture of him in her arms now

Down in the shadow of the penitentiary
Out by the gas fires of the refinery
I'm ten years burning down the road
Nowhere to run ain't got nowhere to go

Born in the U.S.A.
I was born in the U.S.A.
Born in the U.S.A.
I'm a long gone Daddy in the U.S.A.
Born in the U.S.A.
Born in the U.S.A.
Born in the U.S.A.
I'm a cool rocking Daddy in the U.S.A. 

Bruce Springsteen:

10-27-12, Soldiers and Sailors Memorial Hall and Museum,  Pittsburgh, PA

10-27-12, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA

4-22-14, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA

1-16-16, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA

9-11-16, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA

Please do not share this information with Springsteen fans and/or porn addicts