#424. You'll Take A Shit Today

I usually make a concerted effort to avoid parodying the same song.  However, after a mentally exhausting 4 years of the Orange Prolapse (This Was A Song of Hate), I've decided to make an exception.  In fact I might shoot for a Lee Greenwood "special edition limited series"... grounded in everything offensive.

This time it's about proctology.  Next up I'm thinking pornography (I'll Fuck Your Ass Today).

You’ll Take A Shit Today
sonofsaf

If tomorrow your butthole felt wrong,
And you couldn’t tell your wife.
Butt your colon I’ll defend,
Through all the agony and strife.

I saw the color orange,
Prolapse cumming out to play.
And the murky glaze of semen,
Anal cream pie all the way.

And I'm proud to be a proctologist,
Stool softener should be free.
And I won't neglect an ass unwiped,
Regardless he or she.
And you’ll get a push pop,
Up your ass and we’ll pretend it’s a-okay.
'Cause there ain't no doubt I’ll make you crap,
You’ll take a shit today.

Asshole I’d like to know ya,
Oh the balls for you and me.
Prefer my asses chapless,
For everyone to see.

So everybody’s got one,
They’re gaping so they say.
When your partner wants to rip it all apart,
Doesn’t matter if you’re gay.

And I'm proud to be a proctologist,
Stool softener should be free.
And I won't neglect an ass unwiped,
Regardless he or she.
And you’ll get a push pop,
Up your ass and we’ll pretend it’s a-okay.
'Cause there ain't no doubt I’ll make you crap,
You’ll take a shit today.

And I'm proud to be a proctologist,
Stool softener should be free.
And I won't neglect an ass unwiped,
Regardless he or she.
And you’ll get a push pop,
Up your ass and we’ll pretend it’s a-okay.
'Cause there ain't no doubt I’ll make you crap,
You’ll take a shit today.

God Bless The U.S.A.
Lee Greenwood

If tomorrow all my things were gone,
I'd worked for all my life.
And I had to start again,
With just my children and my wife.

I'd thank my lucky stars,
To be livin' here today.
'Cause the flag still stands for freedom,
And they can't take that away.

And I'm proud to be an American,
Where at least I know I'm free.
And I won't forget the men who died,
Who gave that right to me.
And I gladly stand up,
Next to you and defend her still today.
'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA.

From the lakes of Minnesota,
To the hills of Tennessee.
Across the plains of Texas,
From sea to shining sea.

From Detroit down to Houston,
And New York to L.A.
Well there's pride in every American heart,
And its time we stand and say.

That I'm proud to be an American,
Where at least I know I'm free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
Who gave that right to me.
And I gladly stand up,
Next to you and defend her still today.
'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA.

And I'm proud to be an American,
Where at least I know I'm free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
Who gave that right to me.
And I gladly stand up,
Next to you and defend her still today.
'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA.

I actually met Lee Greenwood awhile ago (guessing 2005 or 2006).  He was performing at the Super Hole of Cunt Tree Music.  Yep.  Jamboree in the Hills over in Morristown, Ohio.  I was milling around backstage doing the limo gig.  Just for the record, he was actually very humble.  Pleasant and engaging.

However, if I had known that an Orange Prolapse would come along and endlessly exploit his patriotic dribble to the detriment of America, I most certainly would've said something.  Future hindsight's 20/20 I suppose.

Please do not share this material with Lee Greenwood and/or proctologists.