#367. Medina

Well well well... equestrian megalomaniac Bob Baffert and his Kentucky Derby winner Medina Spirit just tested positive for 21 picograms of a steroid (betamethasone) in its system.  That's more than double the legal allotment for horse racing in Kentucky!

 

This begs the obvious question, why is it justifiable to "blood dope" horses with any amount of synthetic steroids?  But I guess that's neither here nor there.

Looks like Baffert, who seems to have a recurring problem with artificially generated victories, might have to finally face some form of punishment or retribution.  Oooh yeah... boy!   A hefty, flavored fine will assuredly be levied by the honorable racing commission.  Perhaps.

And now the Orange Prolapse just weighed in with a fake blog-tweet...

From the miniature desk of Donald J. Trump...

1:00pm May 9, 2021

So now even our Kentucky Derby winner, Medina Spirit, is a junky.  This is emblematic of what is happening to our Country.  The whole world is laughing at us as we go to hell on our Borders, our fake Presidential Election, and everywhere else!

 

Medina
sonofsaf

Baffert’s horse is scary
Baffert’s horse appalled
Baffert used the steroids
The Spirit never stalled

Medina! Medi-nuh-uh!
His horse ain’t king
Medina

Should have stuck to bourbon
Still has a big ‘ol schlong
So hear the call, drug test ‘em all
We knew it all along

Medina! Medi-nuh-uh!
His horse ain’t king
Medina
Medina

Baffert’s horse already
Won cash the race and such
Cheating’s a dastardly deed
Injections are a crutch

Medina! Medi-nuh-uh!
His horse ain’t king
Medina

Medina! Medi-nuh-uh!
His horse ain’t king
Medina

Horse meat Chinese diner
Is the next stop for Medina
Just a warning

 

Vagina
Howard Stern Show

Some of them are hairy
Some of them are bald
Some are kinda scary
And this is what they're called

Vagina! Vagi-hoo-a!
They call that thing
Vagina

Some belong to virgins
They're really tight and strong
But big or small, I love 'em all
That's why I sing my song

Vagina! Vagi-hoo-a!
They call that thing
Vagina
Vagina

Some of them are smelly
Like clams and fish and such
Some smell like a summer's eve
Cause they've been douched too much

Vagina! Vagi-hoo-a!
They call that thing
Vagina


Vagina! Vagi-hoo-a!
They call that thing
Vagina

Nothin' could be finer
Than to be in a vagina
In the morning

Really sucks if you placed a major wager on Mandaloun who finished second (at 15-1 no less).  Not to mention all the big money trifecta/quinella/exacta shit... which is obviously irrelevant and worthless.  Just doesn't bode well for the future of pony gambling.  But hey, at least you got to wear a fancy hat and sip on a mint julep.  

Never been to the Kentucky Derby.  Perhaps someday.  The closest I ever came was a hyper-extended limo trek to the Saratoga Springs Race Course near Albany, New York back in 2005.  Shrill and Jessarooni were kind enough to look after Meowee and the house... and politely refrain from swimming naked in my neighbor Fuckface's pool. 

Please do not share this information with Bob Baffert, Kentucky Derby officials, and/or former President Donald J. Trump.