#356. William Is A Barr

U.S. District Court Judge Amy Berman Jackson ordered the release of a Bill Barr memo used to justify the non-prosecution of the Orange Prolapse regarding his first impeachment.  Other than further diminishing Barr's stained  reputation, I doubt it will amount to much.  But it can't hurt.

 

The Clown and his stooge, Attorney General William Barr, demonstrate their patriotism and love of God.

 

William Is A Barr
sonofsaf

He doesn’t wanna play
The game of show and tell
He has no pardon dangle
Only justice he can sell
Ukraine investigation cloaking
Did Rudy get paid
A judgement lapse don’t sound so crass
(The FBI’s afraid)

I wrote a memo so I
Could inscribe the lies instead
With Rod Rosenstein and all the Jews
You heard what I said
As I’m a Pavlovian doggie, the truth will not get far
The hand I dealt for Trump you see, this William is a Barr.

So fuck the impeachment proceedings
Half of the Senate doesn’t care
The Donald is so curt and dumb
And there’s plenty of blame to share
McDonald’s the feast of feeding
Donald cries and prays whassup
It surely blows when you’re that phat
Diet Coke in a cup

I wrote a memo so I
Could inscribe the lies instead
With Rod Rosenstein and all the Jews
You heard what I said
As I’m a Pavlovian doggie, the truth will not get far
The hand I dealt for Trump you see, this William is a Barr.

I never speak of mother
Unless it’s Pence’s dong
All the while the big crimes came along

Sample In A Jar
Phish

It's hidden far away
But someday I may tell
The tale of metal tangle
When into your world I fell
Without you now I wander soaking
Secretly afraid
'Cause in your grasp the fears don't last
(And some of them have stayed)

I wheeled around because I
Didn't hear what you had said
And saw you dancing with Elihu
Up on Leemor's bed
And I was foggy rather groggy, you helped me to my car
The binding belt enclosing me, a Sample in a Jar

And on the market stands unfolding
With all their willies and their wares
I shuffle by alert but numb
To all the glances and the glares
And I think of you unheeding
All the times I raise my cup
It's now I know that you knew that
I'd soon end up end up

I wheeled around because I
Didn't hear what you had said
And saw you dancing with Elihu
Up on Leemor's bed
And I was foggy rather groggy, you helped me to my car
The binding belt enclosing me, a Sample in a Jar

You tricked me like the others
And now I don't belong
The simple smiles and good times seem all wrong

Phish:

12-8-94, CSU Convocation Center, Cleveland, OH
6-20-95, Blossom Music Center, Cleveland, OH
11-24-95, Civic Arena, Pittsburgh, PA
8-12-96, Deer Creek Music Center, Noblesville, IN
10-18-96, Civic Arena, Pittsburgh, PA
8-13-97, Star Lake Amphitheatre, Burgettstown, PA
12-5-97, CSU Convocation Center, Cleveland, OH
7-31-98, Polaris Amphitheater, Columbus, OH
11-13-98, CSU Convocation Center, Cleveland, OH
7-29-03, Post Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
6-18-09, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
6-23-12, Niagara Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
7-19-17, Peterson Events Center, Pittsburgh, PA
6-19-19, Blossom Music Center, Cuyahoga Falls, OH
12-4-19, Peterson Events Center, Pittsburgh, PA

Trey Anastasio:

2-25-11, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA

Please do not share this material with former Attorney General William Barr and/or former PResident Donald J. Trump.

 

#355. Lawrence Of Giants

Other than the breaking of Joe Theismann's leg...

my favorite Lawrence Taylor moment was from the Sopranos executive card game.

 

 

Lawrence of Giants
sonofsaf

If one of us was a crack whore
It’s probably me Parcells we sure adore
Don’t fuck with me anyone
If you can stop my ass
Won’t see a Super Bowl run

Giants New York Giants Newark more
We love their screams
God forsake we masturbate
Cum’s all the same it’s cream

Lawrence of Giants he heard the call
Blue nation badness we are football
Not on house arrest nor on the dance floor
Oh the Lawrence of Giants
The Lawrence of Giants

Cold weather brrr season’s fate
The ball goes back and forth
The players fight
They’re always right and Vegas sells it short

Lawrence of Giants he heard the call
Blue nation badness we are football
Cumming so loudly git yer facial my doll
The Lawrence of Giants
The Lawrence of Giants

Lawrence of Giants he heard the call
Blue nation badness we are football
Not on house arrest nor on the dance floor
Oh the Lawrence of Giants
Oh the Lawrence of Giants
Lawrence of Giants
Lawrence of Giants

Killer of Giants
Ozzy Osbourne

If none of us believe in war
Then can you tell me what the weapon's for
Listen to me everyone
If the button is pushed
There'll be nowhere to run

Giants sleeping giants winning wars
Within their dreams
Till they wake when it's too late
And in god's name blaspheme

Killer of giants threatens us all
Mountains of madness standing so tall
Marches of protest not stopping the war
Or the killer of giants
The killer of giants

Mother nature people state
Your case without its worth
Your seas run dry
Your sleepless eyes are turning red alert

Killer of giants threatens us all
Mountains of madness standing so tall
Rising so proudly it has nowhere to fall
This killer of giants
This killer of giants

Killer of giants threatens us all
Mountains of madness standing so tall
Marches of protest not stopping the war
Oh the killer of giants
Oh the killer of giants
Killer of giants
Killer of giants

 

 

No Ozzy concerts to speak of.   However... I have seen a few Giants games.

New York Giants:

10-26-08, Heinz Field, Pittsburgh, PA

8-10-13, Heinz Field, Pittsburgh, PA

12-4-16, Heinz Field, Pittsburgh, PA

Please do not share this information with NFL Hall of Fame linebacker Lawrence Taylor and/or any individuals who've played in the "Executive" card game.

#353. Enter Caitlyn

 So who's got the more "adult-sexy" look?  

The Orange Prolapse or Caitlyn Jenner?  You decide.

Frankly, I'm gonna lay it all on the line.  Straight Jenner!  I mean, hear me out.  I don't wish to see either in the nude.  But if I had to make a definitive decision when faced with the prospect of having my nose hairs plucked and my fingernails forcibly removed... well, I'm goin' with the "box" of Wheaties.

 

Enter Caitlyn
sonofsaf

Handle with care, make it cum, whack until, you’re done
Gonna have us some fun
I’ll stick it in, ass gapin’, salad tossed for din
Caitlyn Jenner she cums

Box of Wheaties opened
Fiber up for a bite

Wrong not right
Recall fight
Jenner plan
We’re off to governor mansion

Touch my dong, stroke it right, gonna drink Bud Light
And your ass is so tight
Cream galore, cream denier, cream of MAGA liar
Sometimes the hole is not white, red

Box of Wheaties opened
Fiber up for a bite

Wrong not right
Recall fight
Jenner plan
We’re off to governor mansion, yeah, yeah

Now I take it way too deep (Now I take it way too deep)
I will sow just what I reap (I will sow just what I reap)
When I lie the news is fake (When I lie the news is fake)
We will make ‘Merica great (We will make ‘Merica great)

Fuck my ass steady, unless there’s a turd
If you must shit just say the word
My butthole it needs to be fed
Maybe someday, cunt instead

Wrong not right
Recall fight
Gendered plan

Wrong not right
Recall fight
Jenner plan
We're off to governor mansion, yeah

Boo

Yeah, yeah

Yo, oh

We're off to governor mansion
Jenner plan
We're off to governor mansion
Jenner plan

We're off to governor mansion
We're off to governor mansion
We're off to governor mansion
We're off to governor mansion

Enter Sandman
Metallica

Say your prayers, little one, don't forget, my son
To include everyone
I tuck you in, warm within, keep you free from sin
'Til the sandman he comes

Sleep with one eye open
Gripping your pillow tight

Exit light
Enter night
Take my hand
We're off to Never Neverland

Something's wrong, shut the light, heavy thoughts tonight
And they aren't of Snow White
Dreams of war, dreams of liars, dreams of dragon's fire
And of things that will bite, yeah

Sleep with one eye open
Gripping your pillow tight

Exit light
Enter night
Take my hand
We're off to Never Neverland, yeah, yeah

Now I lay me down to sleep (Now I lay me down to sleep)
Pray the Lord my soul to keep (Pray the Lord my soul to keep)
If I die before I wake (If I die before I wake)
Pray the Lord my soul to take (Pray the Lord my soul to take)

Hush, little baby, don't say a word
And never mind that noise you heard
It's just the beasts under your bed
In your closet, in your head

Exit light
Enter night
Grain of sand

Exit light
Enter night
Take my hand
We're off to Never Neverland, yeah

Boo

Yeah, yeah

Yo, oh

We're off to Never Neverland
Take my hand
We're off to Never Neverland
Take my hand

We're off to Never Neverland
We're off to Never Neverland
We're off to Never Neverland
We're off to Never Neverland

Metallica:

6-15-88, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA

6-22-88, Rubber Bowl, Akron, OH

11-18-88, Cincinnati Gardens, Cincinnati, OH 

4-16-89, Hara Arena, Dayton, OH

7-26-92, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA (w/ Guns'n'Roses & Faith No More) 

3-26-97, Civic Arena, Pittsburgh, PA 

10-18-18, PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

Please do not share this material with Kaitlyn Jenner, former President Donald J. Trump, and/or the transgendered.

#354. I Wanna Be Like Mike

For the life of me, I can't understand why Mike Pence is swallowing what's left of his Pavlovian pride.  Hell, it went from 1% to .1%.  Move that decimal point over you bitch.  Pence just announced plans to hit up the campaign circuit in New Hampshire in June of 2021... for November 2024.  

(Possibly the most singularly repetitive, annoyingly familiar pic...  circa 2016-2020)

Is he really that inept?  Does he really think that Trump is gonna have this "magic moment" and suddenly endorse him in 2024?  All of 'em really.  Nikki Haley?  Mike Pompeo?  Ted Cruz?  Why would the Orange Prolapse back any of them?  What would be in it for him?  Why would he give a shit?

 

I Wanna Be Like Mike
sonofsaf

Mother I cream
Call you mommy
You watch me pee it’s a wet dream for me
You disapprove, I scream for lube
Like Mike
If I ass kissed like Mike
Like Mike
Oh, if I licked ass like Mike
Be like Mike, Be like Mike
You make me cry
I hope you die
Why do you play when you're so
God damn gay
I cream with lube
The cream from tube
Like Mike
If I ass kissed like Mike
I wanna be, I wanna be
Like Mike
Oh, if I licked ass like Mike 

I Wanna Be Like Mike
Michael Jordan Nike Commercial

Sometimes I dream
That he is me
You've got to see that's how I dream to be
I dream I move, I dream I groove
Like Mike
If I could be like Mike
Like Mike
Oh, if I could be like Mike
Be like Mike, be like Mike
Again I try
Just need to fly
For just one day if I could
Be that way
I dream I move
I dream I groove
Like Mike
If I could be like Mike
I wanna be, I wanna be
Like Mike
Oh, if I could be like Mike

I've been to only one NBA game in my entire life.*  Not sure why we were in New York City.  But when I was an annoying adolescent, my father took us to see the Knicks trounce the Atlanta Hawks (I think) by like 35 points.

Decades later, I was milling around downtown Phoenix and scored freebies to a Phoenix Suns game.  But minutes later managed to snag freebie tickets to a Willie Nelson concert at the nearby Dodge Theatre.  

2-10-06, Dodge Theatre, Phoenix, AZ

Naturally I sold the Suns and hit up the free Willie.  During the summer of that same year, I had a random encounter with Willie Nelson in the back of a hotel parking lot in Queensbury, NY. 

* I've seen the Harlem Globetrotters beat the Washington Generals on two occasions.  Not sure what that means.

Please do not share this material with former Vice President Mike Pence, NBA superstar Michael Jordan, and/or anyone who wears Nike products.

#352. Jenner For Eternity

Does Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner look better as a man?  Or a Tran?

Gotta say, I prefer the more seductive look sans armpit hair exposure.

 

Fuck the 70's.  It's the 2020's.  Trans all the way!  Hooray!

Ironic that after Jenner has had her penis surgically removed, one of her stronger opponents will be a stiff, Republican challenger named Cox (real estate mogul John Cox).  

 

Jenner for Eternity
sonofsaf
 
There's a Gavin there’s a Newsom
He would like to take it in the ass
Buttery mess with hashtag trending
Breakin' anal hymen at last

You know, transgender whenever
You bought a dildo whatever
She shows
Camel Toe

Caitlyn is the Jenner for eternity
Caitlyn is the Jenner for eternity

My dick is cumming when you are blowing
You’ll be feeling what I can confirm
Let’s hang together not an expression
And if it smells then you can eat my turd

You know, transgender whenever
You bought a dildo whatever
She shows
Camel Toe

Stick it in my ass forever
I’ll take it in due time
I can’t believe it’s not butter
The endeavor of a Parkay crime

I want a sex change I will transition
California’s a calamity
Sac-Town’s the pits they take great offense
The final inning of infinity

You know, transgender whenever
You bought a dildo whatever
She shows
Camel Toe

Caitlyn is the Jenner for eternity
Caitlyn is the Jenner for eternity

Center of Eternity
Ozzy Osbourne
 
There's no present there's no future
I don't even know about the past
It's all timeless and never ending
To take it in it's all too vast

It goes, forever and ever
You thought you knew but you never
There goes
Tomorrow

Journey to the center of eternity
Journey to the center of eternity

The time is coming but also going
And it's leaving never to return
Maybe forever it could be heaven
But if it's hell then you can watch me burn

It goes, forever and ever
You thought you knew but you never
There goes
Tomorrow

I got to travel forever
It's all within my mind
An endless path to endeavor
But forever is a long long time

There's no secrets and no corruption
In the center of infinity
There's no limits in non-existence
And no beginning to my destiny

It goes, forever and ever
You thought you knew but you never
There goes
Tomorrow

Journey to the center of eternity
Journey to the center of eternity

I've never seen Ozzy live.  So in my case, the Ozzman hath not cometh.  

Do not pass go.  Do not collect $200.  Do not let me see your cigarette lighters.  Go directly to hell.

Please do not share this information with Caitlyn Jenner.

#351. Oh Cheri

When someone mentions sherry, I usually think in terms of decadent cooking brandy.

But there's also this Sherrie.

 

Who's often mistaken for the wife/manager of the late Macho Man Randy Savage.

Then there's the candidate Cheri.  Former North Carolina State Supreme Court Chief Justice Cheri Beasley.  She launched her candidacy for U.S. Senate a few days ago. 

I suspect she'll win the nomination and then lose by a very close margin to the Republican candidate.  Likely former Governor Pat McCrory or Congressman Ted "not my buddy" Budd.  God forbid Lara Trump, the daughter-in-law of the Orange Prolapse, actually decides to run.  I doubt she will.  Although that would make it a hell of a lot more interesting.  Truth be told, all of the 2022 Senate races will likely be a referendum on the former Commander-In-Clown.  If I'm Majority Leader Chuck Schumer, I want to keep it that way.  As a de facto subplot in all of the swing states (North Carolina, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Florida, etc.).  Keeping the Orange Menace front and center will benefit the Dems.  After 4 years of constant brainwashing and hero worship, the majority of Republicans just simply aren't aware of it... yet.  Mostly because they don't want to be aware of it. 

Read more here: https://www.newsobserver.com/news/politics-government/article248289160.html#storylink=cp 

Oh Cheri
sonofsaf

The Senate’s a con
Doesn’t matter if you kneel
Republicans are wrong
Took a fall you know the deal
Donald Trump is a redeemer
But she’s gonna give him the belt
And she ain’t a pushover

Oh, Cheri, your blood
Tampon, withdrawn  
Oh, Cheri, your blood
Tampon, withdrawn

Oh, she wants that seat YO
She campaign certainly
She’ll even give herself a loan
She’s raise some cash and you will see

Butt you know she has a beaver
Oh, the kinda snatch that makes you melt
And it leaves me yearnin’
So cum on

Oh, Cheri, your blood
Tampon, withdrawn  
Oh, Cheri, your blood
Tampon, withdrawn
Oh, Cheri
Oh, Cheri

Still the Senate’s a con
Mistletoe, Lindsey’s gay
Republicans are wrong
Now I know she’ll try
Let’s pray

Oh, Cheri, your blood
Tampon, withdrawn  
Oh, Cheri, your blood
Tampon, withdrawn  
Oh, Cheri, your blood
Tampon, withdrawn  
Tampon
Oh, Cheri 

 

Oh Sherrie
Steve Perry

You should've been gone
Knowing how I made you feel
And I should've been gone
After all your words of steel
Oh, I must've been a dreamer
And I must've been someone else
And we should've been over

Oh, Sherrie, our love
Holds on, holds on
Oh, Sherrie, our love
Holds on, holds on

Oh, I want to let go
You'll go on hurtin' me
You'd be better off alone
If I'm not who you thought I'd be

But you know that there's a fever
Oh, that you'll never find nowhere else
Can't you feel it burnin'
On-and-on

Oh, Sherrie, our love
Holds on, holds on
Oh, Sherrie, our love
Holds on, holds on
Oh, Sherrie
Oh, Sherrie

But I should've been gone
Long ago, far away
And you should've been gone
Now I know you'd lie
You'll stay

Oh, Sherrie, our love
Holds on, holds on
Oh, Sherrie, our love
Holds on, holds on
Oh, Sherrie, our love
Holds on, holds on
Hold on
Oh, Sherrie

Journey:

 

8-27-11, First Niagara Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

7-16-16, First Niagara Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

Please do not share this material with Cheri Beasley (D-NC) and/or any of the other 2022 North Carolina U.S. Senate candidates.

#350. Gluten Free

My wife and I enjoyed a celebratory Romanian Easter Orthodox dinner at her mom's house up in Mercer County this weekend.  But the looming question on everyone's mind these days... "Was it gluten free?"

I believe it was.  Ham, lamb, kielbasa, brussels sprouts, scalloped potatoes, deviled eggs, an expertly tossed salad and the inevitable desert madness.  On second thought, there may have been some residual gluten in the crust of the coconut cream pie.

Who knew that Eddie maintains a gluten free diet?  Judging from his historically aberrant mannerisms and maniacal behavior, you'd think living a gluten free lifestyle wouldn't be a major priority.

 

 

Gluten Free
sonofsaf

Ok

Just can’t eat, I’m outta luck, it ain’t funny, what the fuck
I've got no bread I can disown, ass has gas, I gotta go

I'm gluten free yeah, I'm gluten free
I'm gluten free yeah, oh I'm gluten free


I took a bite and it wasn’t kale
A few saltines I’ll need to bail
Toilet’s got some toiletries
A gluten child, I'm gluten free, yeah
I'm gluten free yeah, I'm gluten free

I'm gluten free yeah, oh I'm gluten free

Fuck curds and whey

I'm gluten free yeah, I'm gluten free
I'm gluten free yeah, oh I'm gluten free

Break

Whiskey n’at a beer with hops
My ass romancin’ smell the cops
Now all the pigs are porkin’ me
So fuck the wheat, rye and barley, yeah

I'm gluten free yeah, I'm gluten free
I'm gluten free yeah, oh I'm gluten free
Oh

I'm gluten (I'm gluten free yeah, I'm gluten free)
I'm gluten (I'm gluten free yeah, I'm gluten free)
I'm gluten (I'm gluten free yeah, I'm gluten free)
Ooh, yeah-yeah
I'm gluten (I'm gluten free yeah, I'm gluten free)
I'm gluten (I'm gluten free yeah, I'm gluten free)
I'm gluten (I'm gluten free yeah, I'm gluten free)
Ooh yeah, I'm gluten (I'm gluten free yeah, I'm gluten free)
I'm gluten (I'm gluten free yeah, I'm gluten free)
I'm gluten (I'm gluten free yeah, I'm gluten free)
Yeah

 

Running Free
Iron Maiden

Ok

Just sixteen, a pickup truck, out of money, out of luck
I've got nowhere to call my own, hit the gas, and here I go

I'm running free yeah, I'm running free
I'm running free yeah, oh I'm running free

I spent the night in an LA jail
And listened to the sirens wail
They ain't got a thing on me
I'm running wild, I'm running free, yeah
I'm running free yeah, I'm running free

I'm running free yeah, oh I'm running free

Get out my way

I'm running free yeah, I'm running free
I'm running free yeah, oh I'm running free

Break

Pulled her at the bottle top
A whiskey, dancing, disco hop
Now all the boys are after me
And that's the way it's gonna be, yeah

I'm running free yeah, I'm running free
I'm running free yeah, oh I'm running free
Oh

I'm running (I'm running free yeah, I'm running free)
I'm running (I'm running free yeah, I'm running free)
I'm running(I'm running free yeah, I'm running free)
Ooh, yeah-yeah
I'm running (I'm running free yeah, I'm running free)
I'm running (I'm running free yeah, I'm running free)
I'm running (I'm running free yeah, I'm running free)
Ooh yeah, I'm running (I'm running free yeah, I'm running free)
I'm running (I'm running free yeah, I'm running free)
I'm running (I'm running free yeah, I'm running free)
Yeah

Iron Maiden:

1-9-87, Civic Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

7-5-88, Civic Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

8-11-00, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

8-8-03, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

7-14-10, First Niagara Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

8-17-19, PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

Pittsburgh metal trivia: Iron Maiden played the relatively tiny Metropol in the Strip District (winter of 1996).

One of my biggest concert regrets/fails is the World Slavery Tour (1985).  I was 15.

Please do not share this material with old school metal fans and/or those who prefer a gluten free diet.

#349. Kim Jong Un

North Korean dick-tater-tot Kim Jong Un has reemerged in the headlines... again.  

The leader of the Hermit Kingdom warned the United States that it would face “a very grave situation” because President Joe Biden “made a big blunder.”  Ouch.

The Orange Prolapse admires the sculpted hairdo of Dog Chow Mein

Kim Jong Un
sonofsaf

There’s no need to frown North Korea’s down
Wheelin’ and dealin’ see what’s in store
Until I bid you adieu
There’s a Seoul that’s scarred if they do attack
I got some weapons for you yes that’s a fact
I sit on a throne with a crazy hairdo

I’m always bluffin’ a fight
Country’s a blight
I’m the Kim Jong Un

Now I know I look kinda homely
And I’m short and fat but not bony
To hear Korean screams
Crushin’ all of their dreams
I’m the Kim Jong Un

I’ve killed most of brothers shot them dead you see
I kill the spies murder is free
Hung from the gallows show the doom and gloom
I’m smellin’ all of the fears you chicken you’re fried
Count the many lives that have died
Tell death do us part there’s no other way

Oh, I’ll show all of my might
Bark’s worse than my bite
I’m the Kim Jong Un

Now I know I look kinda homely
And I’m short and fat but not bony
To hear Korean screams
Crushin’ all of their dreams
I’m the Kim Jong Un

The King of Saigon, chink by chink
And my leadership’s never wrong I am the missing link
And what will be’s what will will be, Donald Trump is my friend

Oh, I’ll show all of my might
Bark’s worse than my bite
I’m the Kim Jong Un

Now I know I look kinda homely
And I’m short and fat but not bony
To hear Korean screams
Crushin’ all of their dreams
I’m the Kim Jong Un

To hear Korean screams
Crushin’ all of their dreams
I’m the Kim Jong Un
Oh, hear Korean screams
Crushin’ all of their dreams
I’m the Kim Jong Un

Neon Moon
Brooks and Dunn

When the sun goes down on my side of town
That lonesome feeling comes to my door
And the whole world turns blue
There's a rundown bar 'cross the railroad tracks
I got a table for two way in the back
Where I sit alone and think of losing you

I spend most every night
Beneath the light
Of a neon moon

Now if you lose your one and only
There's always room here for the lonely
To watch your broken dreams
Dance in and out of the beams
Of a neon moon

I think of two young lovers running wild and free
I close my eyes and sometimes see
You in the shadows of this smoke-filled room
No telling how many tears I've sat here and cried
Or how many lies that I've lied
Telling my poor heart she'll come back someday

Oh, but I'll be alright
As long as there's light
From a neon moon

Oh, if you lose your one and only
There's always room here for the lonely
To watch your broken dreams
Dance in and out of the beams
Of a neon moon

The jukebox plays on, drink by drink
And the words of every sad song seem to say what I think
And its hurt inside of me, ain't never gonna end

Oh, but I'll be alright
As long as there's light
From a neon moon

Oh, if you lose your one and only
There's always room here for the lonely
To watch your broken dreams
Dance in and out of the beams
Of a neon moon

To watch your broken dreams
Dance in and out of the beams
Of a neon moon
Oh, watch your broken dreams
Dance in and out of the beams
Of a neon moon

Brooks & Dunn: 

9-3-05, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

6-9-07, Heinz Field, Pittsburgh, PA (opened for Bon Jovi)

Great "double opener" from the same concert (Cain's Ballroom in Tulsa, Oklahoma - 2005).  Red Dirt Road > You Can't Take The Honky Tonk Out Of The Girl.  Honest admission alert:  I rarely listen to country music.  But out of all the current major touring acts, Brooks and Dunn is probably my favorite.  Then again, take a serious look at some of the competition.  It's all about patriotism, trucks and moonshine.  If you really want CMT, just turn on Fox News.  Shame shit, everyday.

Please do not share this information with former President Donald J. Trump and/or North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un.  Doing so would likely result in my untimely execution.

#348. Calling Him Oreo

Fox News is in a state of utter outrage and the entire Republican party is firing on all cylinders.  You see, Gary O' Connor, the Chairman of the Texas Lamar County Democratic Party called Senator Tim Scott an "oreo."  OMG!

He wrote, "I had hoped that Scott might show some common sense, but it seems clear he is little more than an oreo with no real principles."

And then of course he deleted the post.  Go figure.

So now, all of right wing media is demanding an apology and his immediate resignation.  

The only problem is that Gary O'Conner is, with all due respect, a nobody.  Lamar County falls just short of 50,000 residents.  And its anchor city of Paris, Texas is known for a 65 foot replica of the Eiffel Tower.  At the top is a cowboy hat!  Yee Haw, Hee Haw.  Don't believe me, eh?

 

Oui, Oui!

 

Calling Him Oreo
sonofsaf

What a shame he’s calling him Oreo
What a shame the colors are clues
What a shame you're hatin’ a skin tone YO
What a shame your spirit died too

It's so creepy to live in the cobwebs
It's so creepy Donald Trump’s an orange clown
It's so creepy to try and put on a show
It's so creepy to talk the ground and pound

It's so rough to fuck up
It's so rough
It's so rough to give up
It's enough the zoo

What a shame he’s calling Oreo
What a shame the colors are clues
What a shame you're hatin’ a skin tone YO
What a shame your spirit died too

What a shame he’s calling Oreo
What a shame the colors are clues
What a shame you're hating’ a skin tone YO
What a shame your spirit died too

Moving in Stereo
The Cars

Life's the same I'm moving in stereo
Life's the same except for my shoes
Life's the same you're shakin' like tremolo
Life's the same it's all inside you

It's so easy to blow up your problems
It's so easy to play up your breakdown
It's so easy to fly through a window
It's so easy to fool with the sound

It's so tough to get up
It's so tough
It's so tough to live up
It's so tough on you

Life's the same I'm moving in stereo
Life's the same except for my shoes
Life's the same you're shakin' like tremolo
Life's the same it's all inside you

Life's the same I'm moving in stereo
Life's the same except for my shoes
Life's the same you're shakin' like tremolo
Life's the same it's all inside you

 

 

Never seen the Cars.  When I was 14, they came to the Civic Arena in 1984 on the wildly successful Heartbeat City tour.  And then, when the hysteria fell off, they showed up a few years later in 1987 at the Syria Mosque.  

Out of all the bands I've always wanted to see live...  they're definitely in my Top 10.  Maybe even Top 5.  And that includes some heavyweights like Zeppelin and the Doors.  Bands that just weren't ever gonna be a viable option mostly due to my infant/kiddie/non-embryonic status.  Not joking.

 

Here's a link to the Cars concert which pretty much set the standard for the trajectory of 80's pop music. 

Please do not share this information with Lamar County Democratic Chairman Gary O' Connor and/or Senator Tim Scott (R-SC).

#347. Mount Moronic Jew Stampede

A beautiful spring day here in Pittsburgh.

Meanwhile, here's some footage of the Mt. Meron stampede in Northern Israel which claimed the lives of 45, injuring hundreds.  A festive celebration of Orthodox Judaism gone awry.

Look closely.  Hint: Nobody's wearing a mask.  At a crowded religious festival no less.  Who woulda thunk it?  Aren't the Jews supposed to be the smart ones?  Through the years, I've come to appreciate the painful irony that when people worship their god(s)... he/she/they rarely return the favor.  Hint: Hajj.

 

Mount Moronic Jew Stampede
sonofsaf

Dominipede is free and I’m showin’ I’m all knowin’
Nostradamus in me ‘cause I like to lead the way
There will be many dead, gonna be one helluva show
The black swan comes at last, why do they fucking pray?

Now then tell me baby, what’s a flood of blood?
Tell me baby, do you like a stampede?
Have you heard of the dominipede?
A deadly Mount Moronic Jew Stampede.

Religious festivals with many dead all through the land
Someday they’ll get it right, but only if the dead complain
There’s gonna be some trouble ‘cause I know there ain’t a plan
In the end you’ll see, and then we will assess the blame

Now then tell me baby, what’s a flood of blood?
Tell me baby, do you like a stampede?
Have you heard of the dominipede?
A deadly Mount Moronic Jew Stampede.

Now then tell me baby, what’s a flood of blood?
Tell me baby, do you like a stampede?
Have you heard of the dominipede?
A deadly Mount Moronic Jew Stampede.

Doesn’t help if you pray, there ain’t a damn god you know
The religious right, is fucked up every way
Feels like suffocation when there is an artificial saturation
Everything askew, as it sucks all your breath away

Now then tell me baby, what’s a flood of blood?
Tell me baby, do you like a stampede?
Have you heard of the dominipede?
A deadly Mount Moronic Jew Stampede.

Now then tell me baby, what’s a flood of blood?
Tell me baby, do you like a stampede?
Have you heard of the dominipede?
The next stampedes gonna be worse indeed.

Satisfaction Guaranteed
The Firm

Mystery surrounds me, and I wonder where I'm goin'
There's a cloud above me and it seems to hide the way
I'm going straight ahead, 'cos it's the only way I know
I wanna leave the past, and leave just for today

Now then tell me baby, do you need my love?
Tell me baby, are you thinkin' of me?
Tell me baby, what it is you need?
What kind of satisfaction guaranteed?

Sittin' in the gutter with my head wrapped in my hands
I've been drinkin' all night, and I just can't stand the pain
It took an awful lot of trouble just to make me understand
Now it's clear to me, but will it ever be the same?

Now then tell me baby, do you need my love?
Tell me baby, are you thinkin' of me?
Tell me baby, what it is you need?
What kind of satisfaction guaranteed?

Now then tell me baby, do you need my love?
Tell me baby, are you thinkin' of me?
Tell me baby, what it is you need?
What kind of satisfaction guaranteed?

Head upon the highway, just as fast as I could go
I rode through the night, and halfway through the day
I had no direction I didn't even want to know where I was goin'
The only thing I knew, was that I had to get away

Now then tell me baby, do you need my love?
Tell me baby, are you thinkin' of me?
Tell me baby, what it is you need?
What kind of satisfaction guaranteed?

Tell me baby, tell me baby, tell me baby
Do you need my love?
Now that I'm here, yeah
Do you need, do you need my love?

The Firm came to the Pittsburgh Civic Arena twice.  In 1985 and 1986 respectively.  Missed 'em both.  Keep in mind, I was age 15 and 16 respectively.

I always thought it was interesting that The Firm's bass player shared the exact same name with the Philadelphia Eagles barefoot kicker... Tony Franklin.  Then again, as a teenager, I was easily amused.

Please do not share this material with Orthodox Jews and/or those individuals emotionally impacted by the carnage of human stampedes.

#346. Woke Instead

Here's a generic solution to the incessant Fox News lament about how all of the liberal, radical, socialist Democrat are "woke."  I think the best counter is simply to respond with a "why are all these wealthy, out-of-touch, powerful Republicans such whiny, privileged bitches" narrative.  Just fire back with specifics.  Oh my god... Joe Biden's trying to steal your hamburger?  Kamala Harris is giving out copies of her free children's book?  Nancy Pelosi had a facelift? (yeah, that's news to me).

You just acknowledge the specific accusation and chuckle it off.  Mocking someone is always a more powerful form of expression as opposed to a seething vitriolic response.  Then, you segue way into the standard refrains about health care, vaccinations, infrastructure, income disparity, etc.     

 

 

Woke Instead
sonofsaf

Bordello’s a whorehouse
Anal is corn-holing
It’s the way that I think
Marital aids are the toys

Live streaming I call Zoom
Orange Prolapse is red
I know that I’m woke I’m so woke in… stead

Ooh, a thunder, lightning shout out
At the loco
Oh the Coco
Cabana.

Woke instead (you lie)
Woke instead (unmarried)
Woke instead (you lie)
Woke instead

Wake Up Dead
Megadeth

I sneak in my own house
It's four in the morning
I had too much to drink
Said I was out with the boys

I creep in my bedroom
I slip into bed
I know if I wake her I'll wake up... dead

Ooh, I wonder, will she find out
About the other
Other lover
Diana?

Wake up dead (you die)
Wake up dead (and buried)
Wake up dead (you die)
Wake up dead

Megadeth:

2-14-88, South Hills Theater, Pittsburgh, PA *

4-28-88, Palace Theater, Greensburg, PA 

* - opened with Wake Up Dead.  One of the best metal videos of all time.  Great stampede intro.

Kinda surprised I haven't seen Megadeth on more occasions.  Just hasn't worked out that way.  Truth be told, I think they've really gone downhill since they're 2nd and 3rd releases (Peace Sells & So Far So Good So What).  All of their new music, you know... over the last 3 decades, just seems "total filler/cluster headache" oriented.

Please do not share this information with anyone who excessively uses the term "woke."

#345. Ruhle Shout

MSNBC anchor Stephanie Ruhle simply excoriated and eviscerated the billion dollar gubernatorial oaf from West Virginia.  

She called Jim Justice out on the anti-transgender legislation he recently signed into law.  When asked to provide a single case where a transgender athlete in the state of West Virginia has achieved success to the detriment of anyone else... well,  Jim's response was that he "signs all kinds of legislation."  Duh.

So let's give her an obligatory "shout out"... in the form of the first ever "Ruhle Shout."

Ruhle Shout
sonofsaf

Well, she’s got a voice
Though she cries and annoys
But still shows some poise
Justice she’ll destroy
Well, listen I’ll tell ya
That Jim’s a hag
Hear what I tell ya
And a fag

Ruhle Shout he’s dumber
Ruhle Shout she’s clever
Ruhle showed him his feces

No credentials
No good looks
No Jim Justice he’s a crook

Well, he is an ass
But thinks he’s invincible
Despite all the impotence
And the billion dollar net worth of crimes

Ruhle Shout he’s dumber
Ruhle Shout she’s clever
Ruhle showed him his feces

No credentials
No good looks
No Jim Justice he’s a crook

Dumb and dumber
Southern drawl
We know he’s scum
Cast a pall

Ruhle Shout she’s clever
Ruhle Shout he’s dumber
Ruhle Shout believer
Ruhle Shout discreetly

School’s Out
Alice Cooper

Well, we got no choice
All the girls and boys
Makin' all that noise
'Cause they found new toys
Well, we can't salute ya
Can't find a flag
If that don't suit ya
That's a drag

School's out for summer
School's out forever
School's been blown to pieces

No more pencils
No more books
No more teacher's dirty looks

Well, we got no class
And we got no principals
We ain't got no innocence
We can't even think of a word that rhymes

School's out for summer
School's out forever
School's been blown to pieces

No more pencils
No more books
No more teacher's dirty looks

Out for summer
Out till fall
We might not come
Back at all

School's out forever
School's out for summer
School's out with fever
School's out completely

Wheeling's very own City Councilwoman Rosemary Ketchum (3rd Ward, my former stomping grounds on Wheeling Island --- the roach infested Gruber Apartments of Virginia St.) went on the cable news network and continued to deliver the smackdown of Justice.  Well done.

 

Alice Cooper:

9-3-10, Classic Park, Eastlake, OH

8-12-11, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA

7-15-12, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA

6-23-13, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA

5-20-16, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA

9-1-17, KeyBank Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

10-26-18, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA

Please do not share this material with MSNBC anchor Stephanie Ruhle, Wheeling City Councilwoman Rosemary Ketchum, Governor Jim Justice (R-WV), and/or anyone who identifies as a transgendered individual in the state of West Virginia.

 

#344. Mopy Rick

You gotta wonder if Florida Senator Rick Scott is re-evaluating his recent decision to present the Orange Prolapse with some kind of imbecilic "Champion of Freedom" award.  Although I will concede, that goblet thing would be ideal for the presentation of circus peanuts.  A symbolic tribute to the sustainability of the ongoing clown show.

But right now, just after the Feds raided Rudy Giuliani's home and office... well it's probably not a good time to be reinforcing the notion that you're a proud MAGA member and straight up sycophant.  

Although the quarter billion dollar Scott has not been implicated, I imagine the recent FBI raid has him moping around his palatial Florida estate.  Bummer.

 

Mopy Rick (instrumental)
sonofsaf

Moby Dick (instrumental)
Led Zeppelin

Dedicated to the individual who inspired this song.  The extemporaneous brilliance of actor J.B. Smoove a/k/a Leon.

Led Zeppelin:

3-25-95, Jimmy Page & Robert Plant, Civic Arena, Pittsburgh, PA
6-28-00, Jimmy Page w/ The Black Crowes, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

Please do not share this information with Senator Rick Scott (R-FL), former President Donald J. Trump, and/or any guy who's experiences Mopy Dick Syndrome.

#343. When The Jews Stampede

Yesterday, tens of thousands of maskless Orthodox Jews gathered on Mt. Meron in Northern Israel.  They were praying.  And  singing.  And dancing.  And then it all went to shit.  Let's just say the festive celebration of Lag B'omer quickly turned into a Drag Boner.  

45 dead.  Hundreds injured.  

Crowd turbulence + panic + narrow corridor = stampede.  I hate to be the bearer of bad news.  But as the pandemic hopefully begins to subside, coinciding with the traditional return of large crowds (particularly religious festivals), I suspect you'll witness an uptick in the frequency of similar incidents.  Oh, the folly of man.

When The Jews Stampede
sonofsaf

Women and children dastardly deed
Could use a shower, and, smoke some good weed
Muslims feel it too even Pakistan
Panic is spreadin’ more all throughout Iran
The breathless cries are fuckin’ awesome
No one can think and some can’t breathe at all

When the Jews stampede
When the Jews stampede
When the Jews stampede

So it’s judgement day, how much do you make
Stormy Daniels was a whore all the news is fake
Tried to stage a coup, and never take the blame
Prolapsin’ he will defile just please ignore the weight gain
The breathless cries are fuckin’ awesome
No one can think and some can’t breathe at all

When the Jews stampede
When the Jews stampede
When the Jews stampede
When the Jews stampede
When the Jews stampede
When the Jews stampede
When the Jews stampede

Women and children dastardly deed
Could use a shower, and, smoke some good weed
Muslims feel it too even Pakistan
Panic is spreadin’ more all throughout Iran
The breathless cries are fuckin’ awesome
No one can think and some can’t breathe at all

When the Jews stampede
When the Jews stampede
When the Jews stampede

Not a victimless crime
In the springtime, give me a rhyme
Helpless stare worse than disease
Killing me, just need to be freed

When the Jews stampede
When the Jews stampede
When the Jews stampede
When the Jews stampede
When the Jews stampede
When the Jews stampede

Only Women Bleed
Alice Cooper

Man got his woman to take his seed
He got the power, oh, she got the need
She spends her life through pleasing up her man
She feeds him dinner or anything she can
She cries alone at night too often
He smokes and drinks and don't come home at all

Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Only women bleed

Man makes your hair gray, he's your life's mistake
All you're really lookin' for is an even break
He lies right at you, you know you hate this game
He slaps you once in a while and you live and love in pain
She cries alone at night too often
He smokes and drinks and don't come home at all

Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Only women bleed

Man got his woman to take his seed
He got the power, oh, she got the need
She spends her life through pleasing up her man
She feeds him dinner or anything she can
She cries alone at night too often
He smokes and drinks and don't come home at all

Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Only women bleed

Black eyes all of the time
Don't spend a dime, clean up this grime
And you there down on your knees
Begging me, please come watch me bleed

Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Only women bleed
Only women bleed

Alice Cooper:

9-3-10, Classic Park, Eastlake, OH
8-12-11, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA
7-15-12, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA
6-23-13, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA
5-20-16, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA
9-1-17, Stage AE, KeyBank Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
10-26-18, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA 

Please do not share this material with Orthodox Jews. 

#342. Fields Was Bold

The Chicago Bears traded up 9 spots (from twentieth to eleventh) to secure Ohio State QB Justin Fields.

In other news, I've always like the idea of a vintage "Kid" bobblehead.

But I'd settle for a Fields bobblehead... or no bobbleheads at all.

In other news, Fields was recently spotted wearing this ball cap.  

 

You gotta wonder if he knows about the truth about the real bears.  It's possible I suppose.

 

Fields Was Bold
sonofsaf

You'll remember him when the offense grooves
He smokes defense Bob Marley
Oh da Bears ain’t done fightin’ Illini
Taking Justin Fields was bold

He will shed some blood
He calls plays with style
He’ll smoke defense Bob Marley
Chicago sure smells but he’s not a clown
A Justin Fields is bold

Will you drink his pee?
Will you donate blood?
He’ll smoke defense Bob Marley
Oh da Bears ain’t done fightin’ Illini
Taking Justin Fields was bold


The offense improves no more Tribusky
He’ll smoke defense Bob Marley
He will move up North though he likes the South
A Justin Fields is bold

He never tried to be unsightly
And he knows that some call him token
Mike Ditka's time has come and left
But Justin Fields was bold
But Justin Fields was bold

Oh his ass has gas in so many ways
He’ll smoke defense Bob Marley
It's some South side fun when he comes to town
A Justin Fields is bold

You'll remember him when the offense grooves
He smokes defense Bob Marley
Oh da Bears ain’t done fightin’ Illini
Taking Justin Fields was bold
Taking Justin Fields was bold
Taking Justin Fields was bold

Fields Of Gold
Sting

You'll remember me when the west wind moves
Upon the fields of barley
You'll forget the sun in his jealous sky
As we walk in fields of gold

So she took her love
For to gaze a while
Upon the fields of barley
In his arms she fell as her hair came down
Among the fields of gold

Will you stay with me?
Will you be my love?
Upon the fields of barley
We'll forget the sun in his jealous sky
As we lie in fields of gold

See the west wind move like a lover so
Upon the fields of barley
Feel her body rise when you kiss her mouth
Among the fields of gold

I never made promises lightly
And there have been some that I've broken
But I swear in the days still left
We'll walk in fields of gold
We'll walk in fields of gold

Many years have passed since those summer days
Among the fields of barley
See the children run as the sun goes down
Among the fields of gold

You'll remember me when the west wind moves
Upon the fields of barley
You can tell the sun in his jealous sky
When we walked in fields of gold
When we walked in fields of gold
When we walked in fields of gold

The Police:

7-28-08, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

Sting:

6-11-93, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH (opened for the Grateful Dead)

7-9-00, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

7-10-04, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

Please do not share this material with Justin Fields,  Sting, Kid, and/or anyone else with an all-inclusive first and last name.

 

#340. Derby Days

Saturday night's Kentucky Derby at Churchill Downs will be the most heavily attended event since the Covid pandemic shutdown.  Officials are anticipating a crowd of around 48,000.  That's out of the customary 150,000+.

To date, the biggest event was the Texas Rangers game at Globe Field.  Opening day drew just over 38,000 out of a sell-out capacity of 40,300.

Derby Days
sonofsaf

Derby days are here my friend,
Kentucky equestrians know.
Well on the hour, drink whiskey sour,
I want a horsey that shows.

I said trifecta,
You know quinella,
I eat my food a la carte.
Your horse is bony,
And he looks lonely
A photo finish fine art

Horse shit is an accident,
Steppin’ in a pile sure blows.
Mint Julep is what I meant,
Kentucky bourbon will flow.

You know quinella,
I said trifecta,
I eat my food a la carte.
Your horse is bony,
And he looks lonely
A photo finish fine art

Do Ya?


I bet the other and lost my home,
Shot my future in a drunk infield bar.
I still be tryin’, as they jerk on my bone,
Semen sample in a jar.

You know quinella,
I said trifecta,
I have some gas and I fart, fart, fart
Your horse is bony,
And he looks lonely
A photo finish fine art

Derby days are here my friend,
Kentucky equestrians know.
Well on the hour, drink whiskey sour,
I want a horsey that shows.

I said trifecta,
You know quinella,
I eat my food a la carte.
Your horse is bony, yes
And he looks lonely, yes
A photo finish fine art
I know he’s risen.

 

Dancing Days
Led Zeppelin

Dancing days are here again,
As the summer evenings grow.
I got my flower, I got my power,
I got a woman who knows.

I said it's alright,
You know it's alright,
I guess it's all in my heart.
You'll be my only,
My one and only,
Is that the way it should start?

Crazy ways are evident,
By the way you wearin' your clothes.
Sippin' booze is precedent,
As the evening starts to glow.

You know it's alright,
I said it's alright,
You know it's all in my heart.
You'll be my only,
My one and only,
Is that the way it should start?

Do Ya?

You told your mother I'd get you home,
But you didn't say that I got no car.
I saw a lion, he was standin' alone,
With a tadpole in a jar.

You know it's alright,
I said it's alright,
I guess it's all in my heart, heart, heart.
You'll be my only,
My one and only,
Is that the way it should start?

So dancing days are here again,
As the summer evenings grow.
You are my flower, you are my power,
You are my woman who knows.

I said it's alright,
You know it's alright,
You know it's all in my heart.
You'll be my only, yes
My one and only, yes
Is that the way it should start?
I know it isn't. 

Led Zeppelin (well uh kinda):

3-25-95, Jimmy Page & Robert Plant, Civic Arena, Pittsburgh, PA
6-28-00, Jimmy Page w/ The Black Crowes, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA (one of my Top 10 all-time favorite concerts)

Please do not share this material with anyone who will be attending the Kentucky Derby.

#341. Send In Mac Jones

With their first round #15 pick, the New England Patriots selected Alabama quarterback Mac Jones.  

Someone should tell their current QB Cam Newton, that Jones' recent Halloween costume was a black face Obama with dreads.

His own sister Sarah tweeted the pic.  But then later, deleted it.  

So I guess it never happened.  See?  Now that is the true legacy of the Orange Prolapse (4 years and 1,380 deleted tweets)  But who cares?  Right?

Like I was saying, someone should mention this to Cam.  But then again, how much faith do you have in a grown man who sports multiple babushkas.  Certainly the envy of Joseph... and his Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.

E-gad!  Damn! (3 second pause) Cam?

Send in Mac Brown
sonofsaf

Now he is rich.
How will he fare?
Look at his past it was sound,
Without a care,
Where is Mac Jones?

Bumping of fists.
Covid approved.
Donates to the lost and found,
Soul of his soothed,
Where is Mac Jones?
He’s not made his bones.

Just when he stopped fucking the whores,
Vaginally cunting the sores some looked haunted hardcore
Using my facebook de-friend life just isn’t fair
I’ll do some lines
If coke is there

Football is art.
Season is near.
He is lean and thin but not gaunt
Goodell is queer
But where is Mac Jones
Send in Mac Jones
Free State of Jones feared

Now he is rich.
Nothing to fear.
Choosing New England’s a fate fans will hold dear
But where is Mac Jones
He’s not made his bones
Well, Goodell’s a queer

 

Send In The Clowns
Judy Collins

Isn't it rich?
Are we a pair?
Me here at last on the ground,
You in mid-air,
Where are the clowns?

Isn't it bliss?
Don't you approve?
One who keeps tearing around,
One who can't move,
Where are the clowns?
There ought to be clowns?

Just when I'd stopped opening doors,
Finally knowing the one that I wanted was yours
Making my entrance again with my usual flair
Sure of my lines
No one is there

Don't you love farce?
My fault, I fear
I thought that you'd want what I want
Sorry, my dear!
But where are the clowns
Send in the clowns
Don't bother, they're here

Isn't it rich?
Isn't it queer?
Losing my timing this late in my career
But where are the clowns?
There ought to be clowns
Well, maybe next year 

Judy Collins actually showed up in nearby Greensburg during the summer of 2017.  Her and Stephen Stills were touring together.  This might come as a shocker, but I missed that one.  And I'm okay with it.

Please do not share this material with Mac Jones, Cam Newton, and/or anyone affiliated with the New England Patriots.