#2593. Jeff Van Drew

A big bulging victory for the Orange Prolapse in the garden state.

Earlier this week, Congressman Jeff Van Drew (R-NJ) prevailed in a hotly contested Republican primary.  

Hint: Jeff Van Douchebag ran unopposed.

 

 

 

Jeff Van Drew
sonofsaf

Crucified, Jesus shit
Gold toilet Trump’s pissin’
Anal attack, yeah, he’s on a roll
Butt Trump has no wisdom
Coup d’état crime
Funny, son-in-law’s a Jew
Ivanka ain’t wetter
New Jersey’s fuckin’ Jeff Van Drew
Hell, a Stormy show she didn’t cum
Forty-five his style is bullshit
Trump has a tiny mushroom dick, he’s gonna insert
Small manhood
Coup d’état crime
Funny, son-in-law’s a Jew
Ivanka ain’t wetter
New Jersey’s fuckin’ Jeff Van Drew
Blow jobber
Jeff Van Drew
Jeff Van Drew, blow jobber
Jeff Van Drew
Donald, Donald, Donald, isn’t white
Jeff Van Drew
Coup d’état crime
Funny, son-in-law’s a Jew
Ivanka ain’t wetter
New Jersey’s fuckin’ Jeff Van Drew
Coup d’etat crime
Funny, son-in-law’s a Jew
Ivanka ain’t wetter
New Jersey’s fuckin’ Jeff Van Drew
Kim Jong Un love letter
New Jersey’s fuckin’ Jeff Van Drew
Jersey’s fuckin’ Jeff Van Drew
Kim Jong Un love letter
New Jersey’s fuckin’ Jeff Van Drew

 

Black And Blue
Van Halen

Slip n' slide, push it in
Bitch sure got the rhythm
I'm holding back, yeah, I got control
Hooked into her system
Don't draw the line
Honey, I ain't through with you
The harder the better
Let's do it 'til we're black and blue
Well, you never know when love will come
Gotta get it while you got it
A little bit of everything, even when it hurts
Sure feels good
Don't draw the line
Honey, I ain't through with you
The harder the better
Let's do it 'til we're black and blue
Yo mama!
Black and blue
Black and blue, yo mama!
Black and blue
Gotta, gotta, gotta, get it right
Black and blue
Don't draw the line
Honey, I ain't through with you
The harder the better
We'll do it 'til we're black and blue
Don't draw the line
Baby, I ain't through with you
The harder the better
Let's do it 'til we're black and blue
The wetter the better
Let's do it 'til we're black and blue
Do it 'til we're black and blue
The wetter the better
Let's do it 'til we're black and blue

David Lee Roth or Sammy Hagar?  Gotta go with the former.  The latter's voice is often raspy and unsettling.

Favorite Van Halen album?  Gotta go with 1984.

Best Van Halen song and video?  Hands down... it's Hot For Teacher.

My second parody of Black And Blue.  A couple years ago, I penned #1371.  Donahue (regarding Idaho Sheriff Kieran Donahue)

From 1978 to 2015, some form of Van Halen has played the Burgh a grand total of 19 times.

Van Halen:

6-15-88, Three Rivers Stadium, Pitttsburgh, PA (Monsters of Cock)
6-23-88, Rubber Bowl, Akron, OH (Monsters of Cock)
6-29-04, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
3-21-08, Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, PA
3-30-12, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA
7-28-15, First Niagara Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

The Big Lie 100: (#1724)

#2566.  Vance (Chance --- Big Country)

#2567.  Donald Trump Ain't Devout (That's What It's All About --- Brooks & Dunn)

#2568.  Royce White (Love Bites --- Judas Priest)

#2569.  Royce Isn't White (Fight For Your Right --- Beastie Boys)

#2570.  Trump's A Cunt (Light My Love --- Greta Van Fleet)

#2571.  Vincent Fong (We Belong --- Pat Benatar)

#2572.  Fong's A Clown (Long Way Down --- Goo Goo Dolls)

#2573.  Vincent Fong In Trump Tower (All Along The Watchtower --- Grateful Dead)

#2574.  Red Lobster (Rock Lobster --- B-52's)

#2575.  Robert Jr. (Way Cool Jr. --- Ratt)

#2576.  Daines The Cunt (Chains Of Love --- B.B. King)

#2577.  John McGuire (Light My Fire --- The Doors)

#2578.  John McGuire (Start The Fire --- Metal Church)

#2579.  John McGuire (I'm On Fire --- Bruce Springsteen)

#2580.  Bill Lee (Billy --- Judge Smails)

#2581.  McGuire (Crossfire --- Stevie Ray Vaughan & Double Trouble)

#2582.  McGuire (Live Wire --- Motley Crue)

#2583.  McGuire (Hang Wire --- Pixies)

#2584.  Tim Sheehy (Faithfully --- Journey) 

#2585.  No Tim Sheehy (No Sympathy --- Bob Marley)

#2586.  Joseph McGuire (Trial By Fire --- Testament)

#2587.  Tim Sheehy (Thirty Three --- Smashing Pumpkins)

#2588.  Jared's A Jew (No One Like You --- Scorpions)

#2589.  Kicker Harrison Butker (The Mother of All Fuckers --- Brian Jonestown Massacre)

#2590.  McGuire (Hang Fire --- Rolling Stones)

#2591.  Fuck Harrison Butker (Hello From The Gutter --- Overkill)

#2592.  U.S. Jews (U.S. Blues --- Grateful Dead)

#2593.  Jeff Van Drew (Black And Blue --- Van Halen)

 

Please do not share this material with Jeff Van Drew (R-NJ) and/or former President Donald J. Trump.