#316. Cold Liz

Liz Cheney (R-WY), daughter of former Vice President and talented marksman Dick Cheney, is spearheading the 2022 charge against Donald Trump.  She did the unthinkable.  After the attempted coup d'etat, she had the audacity to vote to impeach the Orange Prolapse.  To the Republican base, this was the scrambled eggs, Benedict Arnold, traitorous equivalent of "shock and awe."

(The old Liz would've sold her soul for a Trumpy Sharpie)

 

But the new Liz is staking her political future in hopes that the majority of the Republican Party will eventually come around and return to a minimal degree of normalcy.  As of right now, I just don't see that happening.  However, if I was DNC chairman Jamie Harrison, I'd exploit the hell out of this rift (behind the scenes).  Cheney represents what's left of the establishment guard of the GOP.  And it's gonna be them vs. the new wave of demented Trump sycophants.  

Divide and conquer.  Rather than break the bank, you simply encourage the Republican party to duke it out amongst themselves.  Vastly more cost effective.

Dedicated to Liz's mom... Lynne Cheney.  While penning this parody, I originally confused the mother-daughter combo.  The song was supposed to be entitled "Cold Lynne."   Which is far superior. Phonetically speaking of course.  

 

Cold Liz
sonofsaf

Whoo, alright
Voters are woke she don’t want fired
Dems eat gruel in the muck and mire
Political whore, gimme a shout, yeah
There’s nothing wrong, she’s got the clout

Ooh, the cold Liz will defriend
You know she’s daddy’s kin
Cold Liz ’til the end
Won’t kiss the orange prolapse ring
Wanna taste what’s better, ow

Time to deceive and freeze a plantar wart
Along the border I got a cold sore
Haha, Republicans ain’t got no weed
Just raisin’ cash, why would you pretend

Ooh, the cold Liz will defriend
You know she’s daddy’s kin
Cold Liz ’til the end
Won’t kiss the orange prolapse ring
Wanna taste what’s better, ow

Whoa yeah
Ooh, the cold Liz will defriend
You know she’s daddy’s kin
Cold Liz ’til the end
Won’t kiss the orange prolapse ring
Wanna taste what’s better, ow  

 

Cold Gin
Kiss

Whoo, alright
My heater's broke and I'm so tired
I need some fuel to build a fire
The girl next door, her lights are out, yeah
The landlord's gone, I'm down and out

Ooh, it's cold gin time again
You know it'll always win
Cold gin time again
You know it's the only thing
That keeps us together, ow

It's time to leave and get another quart
Around the corner at the liquor store
Haha, the cheapest stuff is all I need
To get me back on my feet again

Ooh, it's cold gin time again
You know it'll always win
It's cold gin time again
You know it's the only thing
That keeps us together, ow

Whoa yeah
Ooh, it's cold gin time again
You know it'll always win
It's cold gin time again
You know it's the only thing
That keeps us together, ow

Kiss:

3-27-97, Civic Center, Wheeling, WV

5-26-00, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

8-21-03, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

7-4-04, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

12-13-09, Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

7-29-10, First Niagara Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

9-2-12, First Niagara Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

8-24-14, First Niagara Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

8-26-16, Covelli Centre, Youngstown, OH

3-30-19, PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

Please do not share this information with any members of the Cheney family and/or the now 94 year old Harry Whittington. He's the guy Dick Cheney shot in the face while quail hunting.