#335. Stitt Was A Shame (From The Start)

Ever wonder why Oklahoma Governor Kevin Stitt's most ardent supporters refer to him as "Stitt the Shit?"  Well, let's just say it all stems from the origins of this tainted photo.

Stitt preparing to take a dump aboard Air Force Two

 

Apparently, then Vice President Pence was extremely upset with the pungent odor emitted from the Oklahoma Shitty politician.  So distraught that he called the head of the EPA and demanded answers.  Former EPA Administrator Scott Pruitt, who also hails from Oklahoma, referred the Vice President to Rudy Giuliani's asshole.      

In other news, Stitt wants to be known as "the most pro-life governor" in the country.  And that means you sign bills with incredibly vague language so as to manipulate and terrify every obstetrician statewide.  Let alone a physician who actually performs an abortion.  No discussion of variables like rape, incest, or life of the mother.  Never let any trivial details enter into a complex equation.

Instead you get one of those infamous "heartbeat bills."  Meaning that once there's a "detectable rhythm"... you can charge a doctor with murder.  Also, if a doctor performs an abortion that is not deemed "medically necessary," they can lose their license.  

The idea here is to embrace fetal fanaticism.  And along the way, hopefully arrest some medical professionals and deliberately shatter their lives.  Then let the courts weigh in.  This way the prosecution can offer up some expert eye witnesses to testify about the origins of life.  Priests, clergy members, faith healers, pastors of mega-churches, etc.  People in the know.  See?  And then you can get some backwards, Orange Prolapse-appointed MAGA judge along with an impartial, nonjudgmental jury of evangelical bible-belting fuck ups from Tulsa or Stillwater or Enid or wherever.  

Regardless, justice will be served.

w

Stitt Was A Shame (From the Start)
sonofsaf

Baby, oh

When he has to fart you’ll see
The gas was meant for you and me
Fracking’s the new coal we feel
You know life ain’t always free

Sometimes I long for the 19th crime
Snoop Doggy Shiraz in a dream
Gives me morning wood so glad, maybe
Stitt was a shame from the start

Stitt was a shame from the start
Thinks his shit’s a work of art (of art)
Stitt was a shame from the start
We know that Stitt has no heart
An Oklahoma flop (we must part)
Constipation and farts (and farts)
Stitt was a shame from the start

I love voters who pray
And smoke their Christian crack with me
When I sing I am not a Jew
So Derek Chauvin took a knee

Sometimes I long for the 19th crime
Snoop Doggy Shiraz in a dream
Gives me morning wood so glad, maybe
Stitt was a shame from the start

Stitt was a shame from the start
Thinks his shit’s a work of art (of art)
Stitt was a shame from the start
We know that Stitt has no heart
An Oklahoma flop (we must part)
Constipation and farts (and farts)
Stitt was a shame from the start

Maybe, maybe the blood of the lamb is so wrong
You’re sacrificin’ goats whatever
Oh maybe, maybe he’s not that bright
Don’t put up a fight

Maybe, oh, Stitt is a shame
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na, baby
Na, na, na, na, na-ah

Sometimes I long for the 19th crime
Snoop Doggy Shiraz in a dream
Gives me morning wood so glad, maybe
Stitt was a shame from the start

Stitt was a shame from the start
Thinks his shit’s a work of art (of art)
Stitt was a shame from the start
We know that Stitt has no heart
An Oklahoma flop (we must part)
Constipation and farts (and farts)
Stitt was a shame from the start

Stitt was a shame from the start
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na, baby
Na, na, na, na, na-ah

Stitt was a shame from the start
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na (with a fart)
Na, na, na, na, na, baby (a fart)
His fart

Quit Playin’ Games (With My Heart)
Backstreet Boys

Baby, oh

Even in my heart I see
You're not bein' true to me
Deep within my soul I feel
Nothing's like it used to be

Sometimes I wish I could turn back time
Impossible as it may seem
But I wish I could so bad, baby
Quit playin' games with my heart

Quit playin' games with my heart
Before you tear us apart (my heart)
Quit playin' games with my heart
I should've known from the start
You know you got to stop (from my heart)
You're tearing us apart (my heart)
Quit playin' games with my heart

I live my life the way
To keep you comin' back to me
Everything I do is for you
So what is it that you can't see?

Sometimes I wish I could turn back time
Impossible as it may seem
But I wish I could so bad, baby
You better quit playin' games with my heart

Quit playin' games with my heart
Before you tear us apart (my heart)
Quit playin' games with my heart
I should've known from the start
You know you got to stop (from my heart)
You're tearing us apart (my heart)
Quit playin' games

Baby, baby the love that we had was so strong
Don't leave me hangin' here forever
Oh baby, baby this is not right
Let's stop this tonight

Baby, oh, quit playin' games
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na, baby
Na, na, na, na, na-ah

Sometimes I wish I could
Turn back time, impossible as it may seem
But I wish I could so bad, baby
Quit playin' games with my heart

Quit playin' games with my heart
Before you tear us apart (my heart)
Quit playin' games with my heart
I should've known from the start
You know you got to stop (from my heart)
You're tearing us apart (my heart)
Quit playin' games with my heart

Quit playin' games with my heart
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na, baby
Na, na, na, na, na-ah

Quit playin' games with my heart
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na (with my heart)
Na, na, na, na, na, baby (my heart)
My heart

 

Backstreet Boys:

6-25-01, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA (scalped the living shit out of it)

6-14-15, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA

Please do not share this material with registered Republican voters from the "In God We Trust" state.  Seriously... that is the Oklahoma state motto.  I propose we launch a petition and change the motto to "In Stitt we Shit."