#857. Stormy Daniels Xmas

As the holiday season approacheth, of one thing I am absolutely certain.  On Black Friday we shalt immediately encounter an abundance of giant outdoor Walmart Christmas decorations.  Santa, Frosty, Rudolph... seen 'em all.  My suggestion might be a few years too late.  But I'd really like to see an inflatable, weather resistant Stormy Daniels. 

Her milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard.

 

Stormy Daniels Xmas
sonofsaf

Have a Stormy Daniels Xmas
Has the best chest and Pap smear
A job to blow Trump’s dick you know
A bagel and a schmear

Have a Stormy Daniels Xmas
Because it’s the time to cheat
Lake Tahoe’s the place to go
And lick Orange Prolapse meat

Porn star the camel toe
Everyone loves pussy
Unless you are a Jew
Hanukkah’s the place to be

Have a Stormy Daniels Xmas
Jesus Christ go drink a beer
Light the candles have a Stormy Daniels Xmas
You queer

Porn star the camel toe
Everyone loves pussy
Unless you are a Jew
Hanukkah’s the place to be

Have a Stormy Daniels Xmas
Jesus Christ go drink a beer
Light the candles have a Stormy Daniels Xmas
You queer

 

Holly Jolly Christmas
Dolly Parton

Have a holly jolly Christmas
It's the best time of the year
Now I don't know if there'll be snow
But have a cup of cheer

Have a holly jolly Christmas
And when you walk down the street
Say hello to friends you know
And everyone you meet

Ho ho the mistletoe
Is hung where you can see
Somebody waits for you
Kiss her once for me

Have a holly jolly Christmas
And in case you didn't hear
Oh by golly have a holly jolly Christmas
This year

Ho ho the mistletoe
Is hung where you can see
Somebody waits for you
Kiss her once for me

Have a holly jolly Christmas
And in case you didn't hear
Oh by golly have a holly jolly Christmas
This year

 

Plenty of artists sing "Holly Jolly Christmas."  But sensing the "parody parallel" along the "tittie continuum," I selected the Dolly Parton version.  In 2004, Patrick A. Penney, Mason's dentist out in Sacramento, performed emergency surgery on the Smoky Mountain Songbird.  True story.  

Parton has been to the Burgh 3 times.   

1979 - Stanley Theatre

2008 - Benedum Center

2016 - Consol Energy Center

Never seen her.  

Incidentally, I saw Steely Dan last night at the Benedum.  Great show.  Snagged a single outside for $20.  At 51 years old, I felt like the youngest person in attendance.

Favorite Steely Dan songs?  Aja, Black Cow, & Rikki Don't Lose That Number.

Least favorite song?  Reelin' In the Years

Steely Dan:

7-2-00, Post Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

8-30-06, Post Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA 

7-7-16, First Niagara Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

10-8-18, Heinz Hall, Pittsburgh, PA

11-22-21, Benedum Center, Pittsburgh, PA

One of my all-time, best parodies is Hey Nineteen... Hey Vaccine.

Please do not share this material with porn star Stormy Daniels, former President Donald J. Trump, and/or those who wish to put the Christ back in Christmas.