#673. Sidney Implants

The number of successful organ transplants took a steep decline in 2020 and 2021.  Why?  Mostly due to our nation's hospitals being flooded by the selfish imbeciles who refuse to get the Covid vaccine.  Hmm, another great way to use disinformation as a way to kill people without conventional weapons.  Via the denial of healthcare and vital medical procedures. 

Let's see here.  You can get a heart transplant.  A lung transplant.  Liver, pancreas, etc.  But the most commonly transplanted organ is the kidney.

In related news, the urban dictionary just released a list of new slang terms for 2021.  "Sadfishing" is my fav.  All those people who post distressing one liners in a desperate attempt to get a response.  "So lonely", "why me"... you know, shit like that.

But now there's a new term.  It's designated for lawyers who deliberately tell bold faced lies.  Of course, not in a court of law where they could actually be sanctioned or disciplined.  It specifically applies to the unethical grandstanders who go on FOX News or intentionally take soft interviews where they can more freely spout nonsense.   

The term is "Sidney Implants."  Saf, please use it in a sentence.  

Judge:  Do not stand before me and utter these bold-faced lies.  I'm holding you in contempt of court for those absurdly disproportionate Sidney implants.

It's based on the Orange Prolapse's attorney Sidney Powell and her ludicrous fabrications regarding the 2020 presidential election.  The notion of Powell sanctimoniously fabricating lies and espousing them to the general public.  While simultaneously strutting her stuff on national television.  The fake tits serve as an easy, convenient distraction from the truth.  As if anyone would ever wish to see that stoic, albino cunt naked.  Geesh.  

 

Powell's best defense these days is... "well, uh, you'd have to be a complete idiot if you believed the lies I was belching out."  What a fucking boob job!

Sidney Implants
sonofsaf

Kidney Transplants
Various organ recipients

The Big Lie 100: (#52)

#390.  Big Lie (Free Ride --- Edgar Winter)

#487.  Donald's Big Lie (Mr. Blue Sky --- E.L.O.)

#495.  American Lie (American Pie --- Don McLean)

#520.  The Big Lie (When Doves Cry --- Prince)

#530.  Big Lie (High Time --- Grateful Dead)

#545.  Big Lie (Goodbye --- Night Ranger)

#548.  Trump World's, Big Lie (Big Girls, Don't Cry --- Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons)  

#549.  All A Big Lie (Live And Let Die --- Paul McCartney)

#550.  Would Trump Lie To You (Would I Lie To You --- Annie Lennox)

#552.  Big Liar (Big Spender --- Shirley Bassey)

 

#553.  Big Lie (Big Me --- Foo Fighters)

#555.  The Big Lie (Let Her Cry --- Hootie And The Blowfish)

#557.  Big Lie (Big Love --- Fleetwood Mac)

#559.  Big Lies (Big Balls --- AC/DC)

#561.  The Big Lie (Aces High --- Iron Maiden)

#562.  Big Lie Trump Overload (Goodbye Yellow Brick Road --- Elton John)

#563.  Byrne's A Bitch (Burn The Witch --- Radiohead)

#564.  As The World Byrnes (As The World Burns --- Kreator)

#565.  Lie (Cry --- Godley and Creme)

#567.  Byrne In Hell (Burn In Hell --- Twisted Sister) 

#571.  He's A Scrotum The Big Lie (I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry --- Hank Williams)

#594.  Lie Lie You Trumpers (Die Die My Darling --- Metallica)

#595.  To Live Is To Lie (To Live Is To Die --- Metallica) 

 

#596.  Don't Lie (Don't Cry --- Guns'n'Roses)

#597.  Big Lie (Big Time --- Peter Gabriel)

#601.  Lies (Lies --- Thompson Twins)

#602.  Liar (Liar --- Three Dog Night)

#606.  Lie Free-For-All (Fly On The Wall --- AC/DC)

#609.  Big Liar (Big River --- Grateful Dead)

#616.  Jeffrey Clark (Rosa Parks --- OutKast)

#626.  So Great At Big Lies (Too Late For Goodbyes --- Julian Lennon)

#627.  Liar (Liar --- Henry Rollins)

#630.  Lie!  Lie! (Why?!  Why?! --- Nancy Kerrigan)

#632.  Fucked Up Lie (Custard Pie --- Led Zeppelin)

#633.  Tommy (Zombie --- The Cranberries)

#636.  Everybody Blows (Justice League Soundtrack --- Sigrid)

#639.  Orange Clown (Small Town --- John Cougar Mellencamp)

#640.  Be Unforgiving And Never Stop Lying (Shawshank Redemption --- Morgan Freeman / Tim Robbins)

#643.  Stampede (Candide --- Leonard Bernstein)

#651.  It's The Big Lie (Electric Eye --- Judas Priest)

#653.  Who Killed Ashli Babbitt (Who Killed Roger Rabbit --- Robert Zemekis)

#656.  Dush (Hush --- Deep Purple)

#657.  Dush (Plush --- Stone Temple Pilots)

#658.  Gonna Rock The Vote (Evil Little Goat --- Pearl Jam)

#659.  Trump's An Asshole (Get In The Hole --- generic dumbshit golf enthusiast)

#660.  Trump's A Clown (Lay It Down --- Ratt)

#661.  Between The Lies (Between The Eyes --- Ratt)

#663.  Lies Of The World (Eyes Of The World --- Grateful Dead)

#667.  Hole Jim Jordan (Beast of Burden --- Rolling Stones)

#670.  Sean Parnell (Go To Hell --- Alice Cooper)

#671.  Patrick (Magic --- Olivia Newton-John)

#673.  Sidney Implants (Breast Implants --- women w/ fake titties)

 

Fortunately, I've never encountered Sidney Powell.  Because I'd feel morally compelled to throw a drink in her face.  Preferably a cheap, 2 Buck Chuck merlot. 

Please do not share this material with ex-Trump lawyer Sidney Powell.

#672. CAVPAC

Mike Pompeo gets the award for being the "smuggest piece of shit" in the history of American politics.  

If you require any evidence... look no further.

I would encourage every patriotic American voter and normal human being to flood his CAVPAC website with commentary and videos denouncing Pompeo's closet homosexuality.  Champion American Values Political Action Committee?  CAVPAC?  It's more like CUMPAC.  As in the former Secretary of State should be mercilessly blow banged until his entire face is drenched in cum.  At a bare minimum, it would help lessen or humbly disguise that arrogant fucking smirk.

Pipehitter?  Best of luck in 2024 you pipeshitter.

Pompeo wants your feedback?  Okay.  Feel free to copy and paste my latest parody.  

Dedicated to my friend Heidi.  2006 was our kinda tour.

CAVPAC
sonofsaf

If he keeps tweeting out and begging from you
He is the biggest douche, all of the fake news is real
Raising cash in all the ways.  CAVPAC

He has been shitting out the ways to say fuck you
He won’t flip today.  Like that Michael Cohen Jew
Raising cash in all the ways.

Obey, kiss the Orange Prolapse and how
He’ll go down South the Mar-A-Lago way
He’ll love you from afar.  CAVPAC

CIA, was all a con
He’s a far right governmental whore
His real sexuality will be revealed when he screams
Cock’s in too deep

Cocksucker from the start thrill of a bone in my rear
And Mike wants to blow and hold you so fucking dear

‘Cause Secretary of State
Was a bad lay
And Mike will suck your toes
‘Cause it’s just a foot fetish and a toe jam display

For money he’ll be your whore
Pompeo’s CAVPAC

CIA, was all a con
Pompeo’s a governmental whore
His real sexuality will be revealed when he screams

Butt sometimes he’s queer it’s an anal jubilee
‘Cause he’s corning your asshole frequently
And he is gay

He is gay
He is gay

He is queer
CAVPAC
CAVPAC

He is queer

 

Come Back
Pearl Jam

If I keep holding out will the light shine through?
Under this broken roof, it's only rain that I feel
I've been wishing out the days. come back

I have been planning out all that I'd say to you
Since you slipped away. Know that I still remain true
I've been wishing out the days.

Please say, that if you hadn't of gone now
I wouldn't have lost you another way
From wherever you are. come back

And these days, they linger on
And in the night as I'm waiting for
The real possibility I may meet you in my dream
I go to sleep

If I don't fall apart will my memories stay clear
So you had to go and I had to remain here

But the strangest thing to date
So far away
And yet you feel so close
And I'm not gonna question it any other way

There must be an open door
For you to come back

And the days, they linger on
And every night, what I'm waiting for
Is the real possibility I may meet you in my dreams

And sometimes you're here and you're talking back to me
Come the morning I could swear you're next to me
And it's okay.

It's okay
It's okay

I'll be here
Come back
Come back

I'll be here

 

 

Pearl Jam:

8-25-98, Star Lake Amphitheater, Burgettstown, PA
9-5-00, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
9-28-05, PNC Park, Pittsburgh, PA (opened for the Rolling Stones)
6-23-06, Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, PA
10-27-09, Wachovia Spectrum, Philadelphia, PA
10-28-09, Wachovia Spectrum, Philadelphia, PA
5-6-10, Nationwide Arena, Columbus, OH
5-9-10, Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, OH
10-11-13, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA
10-1-14, U.S. Bank Arena, Cincinnati, OH
9-26-15, Central Park, New York City, NY (Global Citizen Festival)
4-28-16, Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, PA
4-29-16, Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, PA

Please do not share this material with former Secretary of State, former CIA Director, and former member of the U.S. House of Representatives Mike Pompeo (R-KS).

#671. Patrick

Republican Dan Patrick is the Lt. Governor of Texas.  

Greetings!  I am Governor Greg Abbott's bitch. I'm the guy in charge of shining and polishing his wheelchair.

Patrick's the same clown who offered a million dollars (not his money of course) for evidence of voter fraud to support Trump's big lie.

Our very own Lt. Governor John Fetterman (D-PA) found 3 cases of voter fraud in Pennsylvania.  All three were illegal votes FOR Donald Trump.  Naturally, Patrick welched on the bet.  What a pathetic piece of shit.  Someone should offer a $10,000 bounty for knocking out Patrick's teeth.  Right to life?  Nope, it's called "right to chew."  Wouldn't bode well for that Texas-sized cowboy ribeye steak. 

By the way, I'm putting the finishing touches on my "Abort Abbott" campaign.  Not to get overly graphic, but it's a "proudly defiant, wheel-chaired, late term Abbott fetus" deep in the womb.

Uh, use your imagination.

Patrick
sonofsaf

You’re not a man
Still you blow me
A faggot who’s in a bind
Big black cocks you have dined
In your asshole too

You make me scream
Like the orange clown
There’s no other news to fake
Throbbing dong you will take
In your asshole too

You have to concede he’s Dan Patrick
Many believe he is gay
You have to concede he’s Dan Patrick
What a damn shame let us pray

And when you condone big lies
The extreme right will thrive
Dan hopes you do not survive
Covid
Dan hopes you will not survive
Cover

Dan’s master plan
See what you see
As if he would give a care
The dildos he will share
Up your asshole too

Here’s what we learned
Dan will fuck you
He wants to caress your balls
He wants to take it all
In his asshole too

You have to concede he’s Dan Patrick
Many believe he is gay
You have to concede he’s Dan Patrick
What a damn shame let us pray

And when you condone big lies
The extreme right will thrive
Dan hopes you do not survive
Covid
Dan hopes you will not survive
Covid

Hey!
You have to concede he’s Dan Patrick
Many believe he is gay
You have to concede he’s Dan Patrick
What a damn shame let us pray

And when you condone big lies
The extreme right will thrive
Dan hopes you do not survive
Covid
Dan hopes you will not survive
Covid

 

Magic
Olivia Newton-John

Come take my hand
You should know me
I've always been in your mind
You know I will be kind
I'll be guiding you

Building your dream
Has to start now
There's no other road to take
You won't make a mistake
I'll be guiding you

You have to believe we are magic
Nothin' can stand in our way
You have to believe we are magic
Don't let your aim ever stray

And if all your hopes survive
Destiny will arrive
I'll bring all your dreams alive
For you
I'll bring all your dreams alive
For you

From where I stand
You are home free
The planets align so rare
There's promise in the air
And I'm guiding you

Through every turn
I'll be near you
I'll come anytime you call
I'll catch you when you fall
I'll be guiding you

You have to believe we are magic
Nothin' can stand in our way
You have to believe we are magic
Don't let your aim ever stray

And if all your hopes survive
Destiny will arrive
I'll bring all your dreams alive
For you
I'll bring all your dreams alive
For you

Hey!
You have to believe we are magic
Nothin' can stand in our way
You have to believe we are magic
Don't let your aim ever stray

And if all your hopes survive
Destiny will arrive
I'll bring all your dreams alive
For you
I'll bring all your dreams alive
For you

The Big Lie 100: (#51)

#390.  Big Lie (Free Ride --- Edgar Winter)

#487.  Donald's Big Lie (Mr. Blue Sky --- E.L.O.)

#495.  American Lie (American Pie --- Don McLean)

#520.  The Big Lie (When Doves Cry --- Prince)

#530.  Big Lie (High Time --- Grateful Dead)

#545.  Big Lie (Goodbye --- Night Ranger)

#548.  Trump World's, Big Lie (Big Girls, Don't Cry --- Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons)  

#549.  All A Big Lie (Live And Let Die --- Paul McCartney)

#550.  Would Trump Lie To You (Would I Lie To You --- Annie Lennox)

#552.  Big Liar (Big Spender --- Shirley Bassey)

 

#553.  Big Lie (Big Me --- Foo Fighters)

#555.  The Big Lie (Let Her Cry --- Hootie And The Blowfish)

#557.  Big Lie (Big Love --- Fleetwood Mac)

#559.  Big Lies (Big Balls --- AC/DC)

#561.  The Big Lie (Aces High --- Iron Maiden)

#562.  Big Lie Trump Overload (Goodbye Yellow Brick Road --- Elton John)

#563.  Byrne's A Bitch (Burn The Witch --- Radiohead)

#564.  As The World Byrnes (As The World Burns --- Kreator)

#565.  Lie (Cry --- Godley and Creme)

#567.  Byrne In Hell (Burn In Hell --- Twisted Sister) 

#571.  He's A Scrotum The Big Lie (I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry --- Hank Williams)

#594.  Lie Lie You Trumpers (Die Die My Darling --- Metallica)

#595.  To Live Is To Lie (To Live Is To Die --- Metallica) 

 

#596.  Don't Lie (Don't Cry --- Guns'n'Roses)

#597.  Big Lie (Big Time --- Peter Gabriel)

#601.  Lies (Lies --- Thompson Twins)

#602.  Liar (Liar --- Three Dog Night)

#606.  Lie Free-For-All (Fly On The Wall --- AC/DC)

#609.  Big Liar (Big River --- Grateful Dead)

#616.  Jeffrey Clark (Rosa Parks --- OutKast)

#626.  So Great At Big Lies (Too Late For Goodbyes --- Julian Lennon)

#627.  Liar (Liar --- Henry Rollins)

#630.  Lie!  Lie! (Why?!  Why?! --- Nancy Kerrigan)

#632.  Fucked Up Lie (Custard Pie --- Led Zeppelin)

#633.  Tommy (Zombie --- The Cranberries)

#636.  Everybody Blows (Justice League Soundtrack --- Sigrid)

#639.  Orange Clown (Small Town --- John Cougar Mellencamp)

#640.  Be Unforgiving And Never Stop Lying (Shawshank Redemption --- Morgan Freeman / Tim Robbins)

#643.  Stampede (Candide --- Leonard Bernstein)

#651.  It's The Big Lie (Electric Eye --- Judas Priest)

#653.  Who Killed Ashli Babbitt (Who Killed Roger Rabbit --- Robert Zemekis)

#656.  Dush (Hush --- Deep Purple)

#657.  Dush (Plush --- Stone Temple Pilots)

#658.  Gonna Rock The Vote (Evil Little Goat --- Pearl Jam)

#659.  Trump's An Asshole (Get In The Hole --- generic dumbshit golf enthusiast)

#660.  Trump's A Clown (Lay It Down --- Ratt)

#661.  Between The Lies (Between The Eyes --- Ratt)

#663.  Lies Of The World (Eyes Of The World --- Grateful Dead)

#667.  Hole Jim Jordan (Beast of Burden --- Rolling Stones)

#670.  Sean Parnell (Go To Hell --- Alice Cooper)

#671.  Patrick (Magic --- Olivia Newton-John)

Since 1982, Olivia Newton-John has played the Burgh 6 times.  Most recently in the winter of 2017 at the refurbished Palace Theatre in Greensburg.  She opened the show with, drumroll please... Magic.  Definitely my favorite song in her repertoire.  Never seen her perform live.

Please do not share this material with Texas Lt. Governor Dan Patrick and/or former President Donald J. Trump.

#670. Sean Parnell

Fox News superstar and Trump sycophant Sean Parnell lives about 10 minutes up the road from me in Cranberry.  Truth be told, I wouldn't drive up 279N to piss on the guy... even if he was on fire.  However, I would bug him about my evac protocol/stampede shit.  Perhaps if we have a chance encounter.
 

WOW!  A military-infused endorsement from a 5-time draft dodging Orange Prolapse!  I suppose you could call that an honor.

Look ma!  They both wanna stick their thumbs up each others asses.  Not a terribly appealing homoerotic visual.  Just sayin'.

 

 

 

Dumbshit slogans like "Win Pennsylvania, Save America" are the new Trumpian norm.  Oh, I get it.  See... if you win a guaranteed red state, or in certain cases, a swing state relying heavily on new voter suppression laws (Florida, Ohio, etc.), then you get to rescue, protect and/or save the country.  How inventive.  Cue the Lee Greenwood.

 

Sean Parnell
sonofsaf

For Donald’s an ass butt Trump is all the rage
For he is so fat including a gock display
For you support a cunt who hates being upstaged
Vote for Sean Parnell

For rambling and thinking about killing police
For suppressing the right to vote how could it be
For hating the libs and all of Democracy
Vote for Sean Parnell

You fought for the U.S. in Afghanistan
But now you are a fucking dick

You'd butcher a kosher hog with great disdain
You’s suck Caitlyn Jenner and blame a Kardashian
You’d even push pop the Orange Prolapse and do it again
Vote for Sean Parnell

You fought for the U.S. in Afghanistan
But now you are a fucking dick

For Donald’s an ass butt Trump is all the rage
For he is so fat including a gock display
For you support a cunt who hates being upstaged
Vote for Sean Parnell

 

Go To Hell
Alice Cooper

For criminal acts and violence on the stage
For being a brat, refusing to act your age
For all of the decent citizens you've enraged
You can go to Hell

For gambling and drinking alcohol constantly
For making us doubt our parents authority
For choosing to be a living obscenity
You can go to Hell

You're something that never should have happened
You even make your grandma sick

You'd poison a blind man's dog and steal his cane
You'd gift wrap a leper and mail him to your aunt Jane
You'd even force feed a diabetic a candy cane
You can go to hell

You're something that never should have happened
You even make your grandma sick

For criminal acts and violence on the stage
For being a brat, refusing to act your age
For all of the decent citizens you've enraged
You can go to hell

 

Sean Parnell was brave enough to serve his country, but just like Trump refusing to admit he lost to Biden, he lacked the simple courage to concede an election.  Sad!  In the case of Trump, political mimicry is the highest form of flattery.  Parnell's basically a "Trumpycat"... the political version of a copycat.  If you win, you cry and bitch how the margin wasn't wide enough.  And if you lose, you cry and bitch and say the election was rigged.  That you got robbed.  See?  This way, you win every time.  Brilliant.  Gotta wonder why nobody has ever tested this tragedy.  Hint: it's about words you'd think a military veteran would be familiar with.  Duty.  Honor.  Dignity.  Patriotism. 

If I was a local reporter, I'd ask Parnell point blank, "Sean... Donald Trump claims that your opponent Conor Lamb stole your seat in the House of Representatives.  Mr. Parnell... did you win or did you lose in 2020 ?  Yes or no.  Were you the winner or the loser?  And if there's a statewide rematch for Senate, how much of a point loss would it take for you to admit defeat?  A loss by 2 points?  5 points?  10 points?  Does any circumstance exist where you'd be willing to concede the race?  Or will you just pull a Trumpycat?

The Big Lie 100: (#50)

#390.  Big Lie (Free Ride --- Edgar Winter)

#487.  Donald's Big Lie (Mr. Blue Sky --- E.L.O.)

#495.  American Lie (American Pie --- Don McLean)

#520.  The Big Lie (When Doves Cry --- Prince)

#530.  Big Lie (High Time --- Grateful Dead)

#545.  Big Lie (Goodbye --- Night Ranger)

#548.  Trump World's, Big Lie (Big Girls, Don't Cry --- Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons)  

#549.  All A Big Lie (Live And Let Die --- Paul McCartney)

#550.  Would Trump Lie To You (Would I Lie To You --- Annie Lennox)

#552.  Big Liar (Big Spender --- Shirley Bassey)

 

#553.  Big Lie (Big Me --- Foo Fighters)

#555.  The Big Lie (Let Her Cry --- Hootie And The Blowfish)

#557.  Big Lie (Big Love --- Fleetwood Mac)

#559.  Big Lies (Big Balls --- AC/DC)

#561.  The Big Lie (Aces High --- Iron Maiden)

#562.  Big Lie Trump Overload (Goodbye Yellow Brick Road --- Elton John)

#563.  Byrne's A Bitch (Burn The Witch --- Radiohead)

#564.  As The World Byrnes (As The World Burns --- Kreator)

#565.  Lie (Cry --- Godley and Creme)

#567.  Byrne In Hell (Burn In Hell --- Twisted Sister) 

#571.  He's A Scrotum The Big Lie (I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry --- Hank Williams)

#594.  Lie Lie You Trumpers (Die Die My Darling --- Metallica)

#595.  To Live Is To Lie (To Live Is To Die --- Metallica) 

 

#596.  Don't Lie (Don't Cry --- Guns'n'Roses)

#597.  Big Lie (Big Time --- Peter Gabriel)

#601.  Lies (Lies --- Thompson Twins)

#602.  Liar (Liar --- Three Dog Night)

#606.  Lie Free-For-All (Fly On The Wall --- AC/DC)

#609.  Big Liar (Big River --- Grateful Dead)

#616.  Jeffrey Clark (Rosa Parks --- OutKast)

#626.  So Great At Big Lies (Too Late For Goodbyes --- Julian Lennon)

#627.  Liar (Liar --- Henry Rollins)

#630.  Lie!  Lie! (Why?!  Why?! --- Nancy Kerrigan)

#632.  Fucked Up Lie (Custard Pie --- Led Zeppelin)

#633.  Tommy (Zombie --- The Cranberries)

#636.  Everybody Blows (Justice League Soundtrack --- Sigrid)

#639.  Orange Clown (Small Town --- John Cougar Mellencamp)

#640.  Be Unforgiving And Never Stop Lying (Shawshank Redemption --- Morgan Freeman / Tim Robbins)

#643.  Stampede (Candide --- Leonard Bernstein)

#651.  It's The Big Lie (Electric Eye --- Judas Priest)

#653.  Who Killed Ashli Babbitt (Who Killed Roger Rabbit --- Robert Zemekis)

#656.  Dush (Hush --- Deep Purple)

#657.  Dush (Plush --- Stone Temple Pilots)

#658.  Gonna Rock The Vote (Evil Little Goat --- Pearl Jam)

#659.  Trump's An Asshole (Get In The Hole --- generic dumbshit golf enthusiast)

#660.  Trump's A Clown (Lay It Down --- Ratt)

#661.  Between The Lies (Between The Eyes --- Ratt)

#663.  Lies Of The World (Eyes Of The World --- Grateful Dead)

#667.  Hole Jim Jordan (Beast of Burden --- Rolling Stones)

#670.  Sean Parnell (Go To Hell --- Alice Cooper)

Alice Cooper:

9-3-10, Classic Park, Eastlake, OH
8-12-11, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA
7-15-12, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA
6-23-13, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA
5-20-16, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA
9-1-17, KeyBank Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
10-26-18, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA

Please do not share this material with U.S. Senate candidate Sean Parnell (R-PA) and/or former President Donald J. Trump.

#669. Hurricane Ida, Was Not All Righta

GWN reports that total damage and economic losses of Hurricane Ida could reach $70 billion to $80 billion.  And who am I to question the word of "Good Word News?"  Not to mention all of the other miscellaneous Christian broadcasting networks.

 

Hurricane Ida, Was Not All Righta
sonofsaf

When It Says Ore-Ida, It's All Righta
Heinz Marketing 

 

Who among us does not enjoy the occasional crispy tater tot or crinkle cut french fry?  But let it be known that I'm perfectly content with the Aldi brand equivalent.  

I've always been fascinated by the fact that half this country refers to Aldi as Aldis and Kroger as Krogers.  I'm admittedly guilty of unwittingly participating in this heinous marketing rebrand.  Shame.

Please do not share this material with anyone who consumes frozen potato products and/or was negatively impacted by Hurricane Ida.

#668. Hooked On Trannies

I've never been one to speculate about the deviancy of a United States Supreme Court Justice.  Butt, and that's a but with a capital "B" and two "t's," it's my understanding that Clarence Thomas has a proclivity for transsexual pornography.

Clarence Thomas laughs at the entire female population of Texas.  After all, in his mind, women's reproductive health care issues are largely a joke.

I have only vague recollections of Anita Hill's 1991 testimony before Congress.  But from what I remember, she accused Thomas of filling an empty can of Coke with his own shaved pubic hair.  And then he requested that she insert the can into his rectum while he repeatedly screamed the name "Long Dong Silver."  WTF?!?

 

Hooked On Trannies
sonofsaf

Nooks and Crannies
Thomas’ English Muffins slogan

Who knew that Clarence was had 4 identical bruthas?  He's one proud Duggar, er uh...

I've never spoken with a Supreme Court Justice.  However, I did see Clarence Thomas in action back in the spring of 2012 when my older brother's case (Reichle vs. Howards) reached the highest court in the land.  

 

Mason, me, mom and dad

I even wrote a poem to commemorate the occasion.  Keep in mind, it's mostly predicated on inside family humor.

 

Bennett Goes to D.C.

I've often heard the expression... "when in Rome"
So in our nation's capitol, I give you this poem

Five of sit, here at this table
Let me tell you a story, I assure you I'm able

My father is a wise man, he's unlikely to commit perjury
Even if sedated and coming off knee surgery

But this birthday poem's not really about him, which could be a source of contention
It's mostly about his son's case, which merits our attention

He's the reason we're here.  He wrote the fucking brief.
He's the brains of this trial.  The Commander in Chief.

But mom laid the groundwork, with inspiration and dedication
When she sued that asshole Marockie and the Board of Education

Now your youngest son's the wildcard, I'm sure you'll voluntarily cede
All he wants to talk about is this artificially generated stampede

And you finally get to meet my lovely girlfriend, her name is Georgiann
The more you get to know her, I'm sure you'll become a fan

Standing before the ultimate judiciary, isn't for cowards
Even when the case is a slam dunk, like Reichle vs. Howards

I cannot fathom a hostile act, that is any bolder
Than touching the vice president, directly on the shoulder

And he even had the audacity, to engage in a verbal attack
When he questioned his policies, regarding the war in Iraq

And just where is Dick Cheney?  Why didn't he show up for the case?
Perhaps he's off quail hunting, shooting another friend in the face

But if there is one thing, that I truly detest
It's someone who bitches, about retaliatory arrest

Our highest court has historically sided with the Secret Service
But this case begs the question, are they truly impervious

In a world filled with instability and disunity
Can Secret Service agents act with absolute impunity

In the Supreme court, this case has just been tried
I suspect they'll agree, their immunity is qualified

But an 8 to zero ruling, could still leave you confused. 
Why not 9 to zero?  Elena Kagan was recused.

But what nobody ever knew, was that Bennett would do anything he can
For if the outlook grew dim, he had a secret, master plan  

In the game of golf, we call it taking a mulligan
He'd whip out his ukulele and perform Gilbert and Sullivan

It would be most unorthodox, kind of like a courtroom Aliyah
Just one last ditch attempt, to curry favor with Scalia

Believe it or not, this is my second parody regarding Clarence Thomas and Thomas' English Muffins.

Please do not share this material with United States Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas.

#667. Hole Jim Jordan

Jim Jordan embraces the warmth and rectitude of the Orange Prolapse.

I'm not one to play amateur psychologist here.  But Jim Jordan obviously feels a sense of comfort while reminiscing about his time at Ohio State.  You know, when he served to honorably facilitate countless acts of sodomy.  When male college wrestlers would hit the showers.  Basically, it's the Ohio version of Penn State's Jerry Sandusky.  The victims were just a little older and sweatier.  

Crazy how this pervert was in line to potentially become Speaker of the House.  Then again, for many in the Republican party, it's almost kind of a "sexually schizophrenic" rallying cry.  Why?  Because so many are closet faggots. 

The Big Lie 100: (#49)

#390.  Big Lie (Free Ride --- Edgar Winter)

#487.  Donald's Big Lie (Mr. Blue Sky --- E.L.O.)

#495.  American Lie (American Pie --- Don McLean)

#520.  The Big Lie (When Doves Cry --- Prince)

#530.  Big Lie (High Time --- Grateful Dead)

#545.  Big Lie (Goodbye --- Night Ranger)

#548.  Trump World's, Big Lie (Big Girls, Don't Cry --- Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons)  

#549.  All A Big Lie (Live And Let Die --- Paul McCartney)

#550.  Would Trump Lie To You (Would I Lie To You --- Annie Lennox)

#552.  Big Liar (Big Spender --- Shirley Bassey)

 

#553.  Big Lie (Big Me --- Foo Fighters)

#555.  The Big Lie (Let Her Cry --- Hootie And The Blowfish)

#557.  Big Lie (Big Love --- Fleetwood Mac)

#559.  Big Lies (Big Balls --- AC/DC)

#561.  The Big Lie (Aces High --- Iron Maiden)

#562.  Big Lie Trump Overload (Goodbye Yellow Brick Road --- Elton John)

#563.  Byrne's A Bitch (Burn The Witch --- Radiohead)

#564.  As The World Byrnes (As The World Burns --- Kreator)

#565.  Lie (Cry --- Godley and Creme)

#567.  Byrne In Hell (Burn In Hell --- Twisted Sister) 

#571.  He's A Scrotum The Big Lie (I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry --- Hank Williams)

#594.  Lie Lie You Trumpers (Die Die My Darling --- Metallica)

#595.  To Live Is To Lie (To Live Is To Die --- Metallica) 

 

#596.  Don't Lie (Don't Cry --- Guns'n'Roses)

#597.  Big Lie (Big Time --- Peter Gabriel)

#601.  Lies (Lies --- Thompson Twins)

#602.  Liar (Liar --- Three Dog Night)

#606.  Lie Free-For-All (Fly On The Wall --- AC/DC)

#609.  Big Liar (Big River --- Grateful Dead)

#616.  Jeffrey Clark (Rosa Parks --- OutKast)

#626.  So Great At Big Lies (Too Late For Goodbyes --- Julian Lennon)

#627.  Liar (Liar --- Henry Rollins)

#630.  Lie!  Lie! (Why?!  Why?! --- Nancy Kerrigan)

#632.  Fucked Up Lie (Custard Pie --- Led Zeppelin)

#633.  Tommy (Zombie --- The Cranberries)

#636.  Everybody Blows (Justice League Soundtrack --- Sigrid)

#639.  Orange Clown (Small Town --- John Cougar Mellencamp)

#640.  Be Unforgiving And Never Stop Lying (Shawshank Redemption --- Morgan Freeman / Tim Robbins)

#643.  Stampede (Candide --- Leonard Bernstein)

#651.  It's The Big Lie (Electric Eye --- Judas Priest)

#653.  Who Killed Ashli Babbitt (Who Killed Roger Rabbit --- Robert Zemekis)

#656.  Dush (Hush --- Deep Purple)

#657.  Dush (Plush --- Stone Temple Pilots)

#658.  Gonna Rock The Vote (Evil Little Goat --- Pearl Jam)

#659.  Trump's An Asshole (Get In The Hole --- generic dumbshit golf enthusiast)

#660.  Trump's A Clown (Lay It Down --- Ratt)

#661.  Between The Lies (Between The Eyes --- Ratt)

#663.  Lies Of The World (Eyes Of The World --- Grateful Dead)

#667.  Hole Jim Jordan (Beast of Burden --- Rolling Stones)

 

Hole Jim Jordan
sonofsaf

Don’t wanna fuck asshole Jim Jordan
Don’t suck his cock unless he’s squirting
Ohio’s a zoo where we get Trumpy
Don’t wanna fuck asshole Jim Jordan
All of the while, he is a squirting
Ohio’s a zoo where we get Trumpy

The big lie’s a bluff.
An obvious bluff.
Did Dems call your bluff?
Trump sickens you and me

Don’t wanna fuck asshole Jim Jordan
He lacks a bone but has meat curtains
Tell me something I don’t know
Cum on Jimmy’s face blow bang for me

The big lie’s a bluff.
An obvious bluff.
Did Dems call your bluff?
Trump sickens you and me

Oh, don’t be bitter
Trumpy, Trumpy, Trumpy world
Ooh, it’s a Trumpy, Trump, Trumpy, Trumpy, Trumpy, Trumpy world
Trumpy, Trumpy, such a Trumpy, Trumpy, Trumpy world
Get down, on your, knees, knees, knees

He’ll fuck ya
Is there any doubt
Without meat
Any doubt
A Congressional seat
Not any doubt, any doubt
Any doubt complicity, yeah

He’s a shithead, he will fuck it up
Sickens you and me
Jim needs to get off
Will Jim sing?  Maybe
About the big lie plan
Trump is fucking you and me
He’s doin’ all he can

The big lie’s a bluff.  Ooh, money
An obvious bluff.
Did Dems call your bluff? About that stuff.
Ooh, please

Don’t wanna fuck asshole Jim Jordan
Don’t wanna fuck asshole Jim Jordan
Wait and, wait and, wait and, wait and, wait and, wait and, wait and see

Don’t wanna fuck asshole Jim Jordan
All of the while, he is a squirting
Ohio’s a zoo where we get Trumpy
Yeah

I don't want to fuck Jim Jordan
Jim wants some sucking
Jim wants some fucking
Wait and, wait and, wait and, wait and, wait and, wait and, wait and see

 

Beast of Burden
Rolling Stones

I'll never be your beast of burden
My back is broad but it's a-hurting
All I want for you to make love to me
I'll never be your beast of burden
I've walked for miles, my feet are hurting
All I want for you to make love to me

Am I hard enough?
Am I rough enough?
Am I rich enough?
I'm not too blind to see

I'll never be your beast of burden
So let's go home and draw the curtains
Music on the radio
Come on baby make sweet love to me

Am I hard enough?
Am I rough enough?
Am I rich enough?
I'm not too blind to see

Oh, little sister
Pretty, pretty, pretty girls
Ooh, you're a pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty girl
Pretty, pretty, such a pretty, pretty, pretty girl
Come on, baby, please, please, please

I'll tell ya
You can put me out
On the street
Put me out
With no shoes on my feet
But put me out, put me out
Put me out of misery, yeah

All your sickness, I can suck it up
Throw it all at me
I can shrug it off
There's one thing, baby
I don't understand
You keep on telling me
I ain't your kind of man

Ain't I rough enough? Ooh, honey
Ain't I tough enough?
Ain't I rich enough? In love enough?
Ooh, please

I'll never be your beast of burden
I'll never be your beast of burden
Never, never, never, never, never, never, never be

I'll never be your beast of burden
I've walked for miles, my feet are hurting
All I want is you to make love to me
Yeah

I don't need no beast of burden
I need no fussing
I need no nursing
Never, never, never, never, never, never, never be

Rolling Stones:

9-29-94, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA (Blind Melon opened... don't remember)

9-28-05, PNC Park, Pittsburgh, PA (Pearl Jam opened... bad ass abbreviated setlist)

6-20-15, Heinz Field, Pittsburgh, PA (AWOL Nation opened... whatever the hell that was/is)

7-4-15, Indianapolis Motor Speedway, Indianapolis, IN (Rascal Flatts opened... skipped 'em)

Please do not share this material with Jim Jordan (R-OH) and/or former President Donald J. Trump.

#666. Fucked Up To Say The Least

Transgender, transvestite, transsexual...  One thing is definitely clear.  Anything trans is "all the rage." 

I'd sooner vote for Trump Jr.'s girlfriend Kimberly Guilfoyle.

On second thought, maybe not.

Fucked Up To Say The Least
sonofsaf

She’s a Jew, cunt dump for thee*
Because several think she needs a bath
Ivanka is a god damn whore
But she who is transgendered know what’s fucked up to say the least
For it’s a genital wonder
That wonder is all about chicks with a dick

She has a bone, it’s fun to spank
She makes her asshole wink
So the prolapses will come alive
She’s on her knees.  Pies made of cream.
Her body’s outta site real deal hardcore pornography

Do not guffaw come hear the screams
It’s the erections in your mind and what will be will be
Go to extremes, if you will dare
She will debase with fists of fury inserted with care

She was whack, and had a big ball sack
So much she charged a fee, for her pornography
Then we kissed, and it was total bliss
Tits were small but real a game of show and tell

Chicks with dicks, fucked up to say the least
Not for hire unless you have some grease

She got laid and facialed with cum glaze
Just don’t ask why, nothing’s between her thighs
She was white, attire blacker than night
The visual so much fun, ‘cause she lacked a cunt

Chicks with dicks, fucked up to say the least
Asshole tight she’s fucking you alright

This ain’t a con, it sticks deep in my craw
We must seal the deal, and consummate with cream
Butt at the crack of dawn a screaming whore
Seems it wasn’t wise, don’t eat trans cream pies

Chicks with dicks, fucked up to say the least
Chicks with dicks, tranny pornography

 

The Number of the Beast
Iron Maiden

Woe to you, oh earth and sea
For the Devil sends the beast with wrath
Because he knows the time is short
Let him who hath understanding reckon the number of the beast
For it is a human number
Its number is six hundred and sixty-six

I left alone, my mind was blank
I needed time to think
To get the memories from my mind
What did I see? Can I believe?
That what I saw that night was real and not just fantasy?

Just what I saw in my old dreams
Were they reflections of my warped mind staring back at me?
'Cause in my dreams it's always there
The evil face that twists my mind and brings me to despair

Night was black, was no use holding back
'Cause I just had to see, was someone watching me?
In the mist, dark figures move and twist
Was all this for real or just some kind of Hell?

Six six six, the number of the beast
Hell and fire was spawned to be released

Torches blazed and sacred chants were praised
As they start to cry, hands held to the sky
In the night, the fires are burning bright
The ritual has begun, Satan's work is done

Six six six, the number of the beast
Sacrifice is going on tonight

This can't go on, I must inform the law
Can this still be real, or just some crazy dream?
But I feel drawn towards the chanting hordes
Seem to mesmerize, can't avoid their eyes

Six six six, the number of the beast
Six six six, the one for you and me

 

 

Iron Maiden:

1-9-87, Civic Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

7-5-88, Civic Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

8-11-00, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

8-8-03, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

7-14-10, First Niagara Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

8-17-19, PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

 

Iron Maiden has played the Burgh 13 times.  I consider myself fortunate to have seen them 46% of the time.

* - "Cunt Dump" is a pet nickname for Ivanka Trump.  A term of endearment if you will.

Please do not share this material with Cunt Dump, headbangers, and transsexuals in the pornography industry.

#665. Melania Is A Whore

I could have used some Melania "deep fake" porn shots butt chose to keep it classy.  Just sayin'.

Although my parody title would suggest otherwise, I'm going to refrain from trying to convince you that Melania Trump is indeed a whore.  Hey, the song speaks for itself.

However, I am going to weigh in on the new Texas law that makes abortion illegal after 6 weeks.  Even in cases of rape or incest.  If I was Planned Parenthood, here's how I'd frame the counter argument and ensuing public relations campaign.

I would raise a hypothetical scenario.  Let's speculate that if Congressman Matt Gaetz was from Texas instead of Florida.  Well, he could freely hire underage prostitutes, commit felony violations of statutory rape, and then sue his victims for up to $10,000 if they were to become impregnated and seek out an abortion.  Hey, it's an innovative way to raise campaign cash instead of going the conventional Trump-spam route.

Best of all, I'd label this concept "Critical Rape Theory."  And I would use that exact term every time I chose to disparage Republican lawmakers for depriving women of their constitutional rights to reproductive health care.  Repeat after me.  

"Texas Governor Greg Abbott, why do you support Critical Rape Theory?  Why is the state of Texas endorsing and implementing Critical Rape Theory?"

Now simply use that line of questioning with every Republican in Trump's America.  Done.

It's a one-two gut punch.  Not only does it cast a pall on the new wave of draconian, restrictive, illegal abortion laws, but it also marginalizes the nonsensical hyperbole of critical race theory.  The idea here to finally make the right wing fringe lunatics own their brand of hyper-conservative fanaticism.

As for the incest angle, I'd add a touch of bestiality.  Maybe invoke the Bill Maher bit with Trump's deceased mother.

Great Ape!  Great Ape!  (Grape Ape!  Grape Ape)

Melania Is A Whore
sonofsaf

Hey, hey
Melania is a whore
Melania is a whore
Nude modeling is hardcore
Hey, Melania is a whore

Wants to be fucked, cock
Wants to be fucked, cock
Wants to be fucked, cock, smelling like a fishmonger
Wants to be fucked, as her cunt’s being conquered

Melania is a whore
Melania is a whore
Melania is a whore
Melania is a whore

Slovenian slutty score
Always wanting more
Nude modeling is hardcore
Hey, Melania is a whore

Wants to be fucked, cock
Wants to be fucked, cock
Wants to be fucked, (cock) she’s causing a commotion
Wants to be fucked, sloppy seconds are leftovers

Hey, Melania is a whore
Melania is a whore
Melania is a whore
Melania is a whore
Fuck anyone she meets
Melania is a whore
With curtains made of meat
Melania is a whore
And nude modeling is hardcore
Hey Melania is a whore
Hey
On her knees (on her knees) Melania is a whore
Nude modeling is hardcore
Melania is a whore

 

Don’t Come Around Here No More
Tom Petty

Hey, hey
Don't come around here no more
Don't come around here no more
Whatever you're looking for
Hey, don't come around here no more

I've given up, stop
I've given up, stop
I've given up, stop, on waiting any longer
I've given up, on this love getting stronger

Don't come around here no more
Don't come around here no more
Don't come around here no more
Don't come around here no more

I don't feel you anymore
You darken my door
Whatever you're looking for
Hey, don't come around here no more

I've given up, stop
I've given up, stop
I've given up, (stop) you tangle my emotions
I've given up, honey please admit it's over

Hey, don't come around here no more
Don't come around here no more
Don't come around here no more
Don't come around here no more
Stop walking down my street
Don't come around here no more
Who you expect to meet?
Don't come around here no more
And whatever you're looking for
Hey don't come around here no more
Hey
Honey please (honey please) don't come around here no more
Whatever you're looking for
Don't come around here no more

Tom Petty concerts:

8-26-95, Star Lake Amphitheatre, Burgettstown, PA

7-10-01, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA*

7-16-02, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

6-20-13, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA

*Front row, dead center.  And free... of course.

Favorite Tom Petty songs:  Runnin' Down a Dream, Listen to Her Heart, Stop Draggin' My Heart Around (w/ Stevie Nicks),  Into the Great Wide Open, and Jammin' Me (very underrated tune).

Please do not share this material with former First Lady Melania Trump.

#664. Pumpkin Spice Delight

Fall is quickly approaching.  How do I know this?  Well, Anheuser Busch is releasing its first-ever hard seltzer called Pumpkin Spice Bud Light.  The new flavor includes a blend of cinnamon, nutmeg and vanilla.  This "beverage" is part of a variety pack which also includes Toasted Marshmallow, Maple Pear and Apple Crisp.  Dear god.

This parody's a bit of a tongue twister.  

If you're valiant enough to give it a shot, my best suggestion is to slow down the pace.

Pumpkin Spice Bud Light
sonofsaf

Flavor Flav Slim Shady, Flavor Flav’s not right
Flavor of the Pumpkin Spice Bud Light
I’d rather have sex with an hermaphrodite
Than drink Toasted Marshmallow Maple Pear Bud Light.
When all the flavors leave you in a state of disarray
And Anheuser’s bush has always seemed a little fucking gay

Cinnamon and nutmeg in your beer’s not right
Cracking open up a can of Pumpkin Spice Bud Light
Apple Crisp and beer together makes your skin turn white
And vanilla chuggin’ yinz upsetting not delighting
Try Seltzer Bud Light
Pumpkin Spice Bud Light
Pumpkin Spice Bud Light
Pumpkin Spice Bud Light

Trump’s an Orange Prolapsin’ piece of shit alright
We’d like to think his ball sack’s taut not so saggy right
Butt his ass is waitin’ hatin’ for a cock cumming and dribbling
A little Pumpkin Spice Bud Light
Try Seltzer Bud Light
Pumpkin Spice Bud Light
Pumpkin Spice Bud Light
Pumpkin Spice Bud Light

Knees gettin’ on her knees maybe when she’s goin’ down
Stormy Daniels was a rubbin’ on a douchebag clown

Cinnamon and nutmeg in your beer’s not right
Cracking open up a can of Pumpkin Spice Bud Light
Apple Crisp and beer together makes your skin turn white
And vanilla chuggin’ yinz upsetting not delighting
Try Seltzer Bud Light
Pumpkin Spice Bud Light
Pumpkin Spice Bud Light
Pumpkin Spice Bud Light

Pumpkin Spice Bud Light!

 

Afternoon Delight
Starland Vocal Band

Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight
Gonna grab some afternoon delight
My motto's always been 'when it's right, it's right'
Why wait until the middle of a cold dark night?
When everything's a little clearer in the light of day
And we know the night is always gonna be there any way

Thinkin' of you's workin' up my appetite
Looking forward to a little afternoon delight
Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ingite
And the thought of lovin' you is getting so exciting
Sky rockets in flight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight

Started out this morning feeling so polite
I always thought a fish could not be caught who wouldn't bite
But you've got some bait a waitin' and I think I might try nibbling
A little afternoon delight
Sky rockets in flight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight

Please be waiting for me, baby, when I come around
We could make a lot of lovin' 'for the sun goes down

Thinkin' of you's workin' up my appetite
Looking forward to a little afternoon delight
Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ignite
And the thought of lovin' you is getting so exciting
Sky rockets in flight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight

Afternoon delight!

Husband and wife duo, Bill & Taffy Danoff, were the original members of the Starland Vocal Band formerly known as "Fat City."  I find it bothersome... the mere notion that his wife's name is "Taffy."  This coming from a guy whom many refer to as "Saffy."

This is actually my second parody of Afternoon Delight.   A few months ago, I wrote "Cracker Thune Is White."  A tribute to Senator John Thune (R-SD).

Please do not share this material with former President Donald J. Trump and/or Anheuser Busch executives, distributors, consumers, and so on and so forth.