#3499. Peter Hegseth

Department of War Secretary Peter Brian Hegseth...

 

 did a furious round of push-ups at the annual Army/Navy game.

Leadership!

 

The Purple Fart Medal is currently unavailable and wouldn't seem appropriate.  Largely because any wounds Hegseth has experienced are exclusively mental in nature.  Not physical.  

Butt we can give Sec-Heg a well-deserved Orange Prolapse Award.

Congratulations.

Is Hegseth under consideration for any other civilian or military decorations?  The answer is yes.

The prestigious Golden Toilet Award is given to exemplary public servants, both military and civilian, who valiantly overcome diarrhea and/or constipation.

 

 

Peter Hegseth
sonofsaf

Ah!

Halfwit, Trump’s ass leaves a stain
Forty-seven spreads the big lie
Bad breath, Tahoe vacay
Showers of urine from his wife
Fuckin’; an asshole and cunt
Shit on planet earth
Bad advice from the Peter Hegseth
Two thousand mules the reason why

Peter Hegseth
Colon of the Orange Prolapse instead

Plastic tits, Stormy was unwise
Nipples are the milkiest flood 
Annoying and not worthy
A piece of shit and basket case
Enemy down in Mar-a-Lago
Daughter-wife weirdo mentally
Ulterior, motivation’s fine
Fat clown, spreading the big lie

Peter Hegseth
Colon of the Orange Prolapse instead
Impotent loser
Peter Hegseth

Dumb and stupid, Donald’s insane
Treasuring a dullard’s sins
Kushner Jew disguise
Crystal meth hip hooray
Mushroom meat tiny dick
Asshole needs more oil
Oversold crypto shit
He’s wrong and half-assed
In a mother fuckin’ urinal
Clown forever, so inbred 
Insurrection crime
With a shithead asshole fart

Mifepristone is for
Pro-life wombs
Witnessing gay make-believe
Trump’s salad tossed

Tahoe flood, stormy wife
Anal breath, bullshit yearns
Creepy Kushner Jew
So full of hate, lies and greed
Paying off (a) porn star for
a Tahoe Lake affair
Gone insane, Big Mac or two
A Filet ‘O Fishing clown
Her cunt’s bought and sold
As he sells, long red ties
Pornographic dreams of
The Mexicans migrating

A tragic, golden toilet
Crucify

Peter Brian Hegseth
D.O.D.

Peter Hegseth
Colon of the Orange Prolapse instead
Impotent loser
Peter Hegseth
Peter Hegseth

 

Angel Of Death 
Slayer

Ah!

Auschwitz, the meaning of pain
The way that I want you to die
Slow death, immense decay
Showers that cleanse you of your life
Forced in; like cattle, you run
Stripped of your life's worth
Human mice for the angel of death
Four hundred thousand more to die

Angel of death
Monarch to the kingdom of the dead

Sadistic, surgeon of demise
Sadist of the noblest blood
Destroying without mercy
To benefit the Aryan race
Surgery with no anesthesia
Feel the knife pierce you intensely
Inferior, no use to mankind
Strapped down, screaming out to die

Angel of death
Monarch to the kingdom of the dead
Infamous butcher
Angel of death

Pumped with fluid inside your brain
Pressure in your skull begins
Pushing through your eyes
Burning flesh drips away
Test of heat burns your skin
Your mind starts to boil
Frigid cold cracks your limbs
How long can you last
In this frozen-water burial?
Sewn together, joining heads
Just a matter of time
'Til you rip yourselves apart

Millions laid out in their
Crowded tombs
Sickening ways to achieve
The Holocaust

Seas of blood bury life
Smell your death as it burns
Deep inside of you
Abacinate, eyes that bleed
Praying for the end of
Your wide-awake nightmare
Wings of pain reach out for you
His face of death staring down
Your blood's running cold
Injecting cells, dying eyes
Feeding on the screams of
The mutants he's creating

Pathetic, harmless victims
Left to die
Rancid angel of death
Flying free

Angel of death
Monarch to the kingdom of the dead
Infamous butcher
Angel of death
Angel of death 

From 1988 to 2018, Slayer engaged in chemical warfare in the Burgh a grand total of 18 times.  They played a "reunion" show at Hersheypark Stadium last month.  But I had family obligations to attend to.  

My second parody of the Slayer classic.  Earlier this year, I penned #3130.  Anal Hegseth.  

Slayer:

11-17-88, Hara Arena, Dayton, OH (w/ Motorhead & Overkill)

10-26-03, Rostraver Ice Garden, Belle Vernon, PA 


8-28-04, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA (Ozz Fest)

7-31-07, Time Warner Cable Amphitheater, Cleveland, OH (opened for Marilyn Manson)

8-1-09, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA (Mayhem Fest)

11-20-13, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA

7-8-15, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA (Mayhem Fest w/ King Diamond)

9-15-16, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA

The Big Lie 100:

#3412.  Epstein Files (Million Miles --- Fuel)

#3413.  Nancy Mace (Cyberspace --- AC/DC)

#3414.  Nancy Mace (Paper Chase --- The Academy Is...)

#3415.  Sarah Qudah (Barracuda --- Heart) 

#3416.  Bolton Bummer (Golden Slumbers --- Paul McCartney)

#3417.  Jeff Crank (Blood Bank --- Macabre)

#3418.  Donald Trump's A Total Shitshow (Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go --- Wham)

#3419.  Laura E. Loomer (I Heard A Rumor --- Bananarama)

#3420.  Gor (War --- Son Lux)

#3421.  Gor (War --- The Exploited)

#3422.  Fat Orange Man (Sharp Dressed Man --- ZZ Top)

#3423.  Senator Rounds (Comforting Sounds --- Mew)

#3424.  Trump Center (Tormentor --- Kreator)

#3425.  Gor (War --- The Cardigans) 

#3426.  O'Neill (The Wheel --- Grateful Dead)

#3427.  Fuck Ashli Babbitt (I Am A Rabbitt --- The Lemonheads)

#3428.  Ernst Was For Sale (Cursed Female --- Porno For Pyros)

#3429.  Donald Clown (Golden Brown --- The Stranglers)

#3430.  Jim O'Neill (Heart Of Steel --- A Flock Of Seagulls)

#3431.  Cracker's A Barrel (Roll Out The Barrel --- West Coast Prost)

#3432.  Scumbag Nancy Mace (Scumbag Human Race --- Destruction)

#3433.  Trump (Plump --- Hole)

#3434.  Laura Loomer (Sense Of Humor --- Daniel Johnston)

#3435.  Ashley Hinson (Turning Crimson --- IAMX)

#3436.  Dana White (Satellite --- Depeche Mode)

#3437.  Dana White (Dynamite --- Scorpions)

#3438.  Dana White (Satellite --- All Time Low)

#3439.  Dana White (One More Night --- Phil Collins)

#3440.  White (Night --- Judy Collins)

#3441.  Dana White (Fly By Night --- Rush)

#3442.  Dana White (Silent Night --- Taylor Swift)

#3443.  White (Fight --- The Cure)

#3444.  Dana White (Satellite --- Brian Jonestown Massacre)

#3445.  Trump Is Inbred (Over My Head --- Alabama Shakes)

#3446.  Amicola (Ayatollah --- Catfish And The Bottlemen)

#3447.  Charlie Kirk (Dirty Work --- Steely Dan)

#3448.  Charlie Kirk Sold Out (We Can Work It Out --- The Beatles)

#3449.  White's Cum (nightcum --- Corbin)

#3450.  Dana White (Satellite --- Guster)

#3451.  Tyler Robinson (Mrs. Robinson --- Simon & Garfunkel)

#3452.  Dana White (See The Light --- Hillsong Worship)

#3453.  Buffalo Bills (Run To The Hills --- Iron Maiden)

#3454.  Russ Diamond (Black Diamond --- Kiss)

#3455.  Tyrus (Iris --- Goo Goo Dolls)

#3456.  Tyrus (Iris --- The Breeders)

#3457.  Tyrus (Iris --- Live)

#3458.  Blow Dana White (Go Fly A Kite --- Bing Crosby)

#3459.  Russ Diamond (Black Diamond --- Bee Gees)

#3460.  Charlie Kirk (Dirty Work --- Sunami)

#3461.  The Orange Prolapse Stain (I Can't Stand The Rain --- Tina Turner)

#3462.  Tyrus (Iris --- Pastel Ghost)

#3463.  Fuck Dana White (The Inner Light --- The Beatles)

#3464.  Antifa (Amnesia --- The Vines)

#3465.  Antifa (Amnesia --- Mr. Kittie)

#3466.  Jimmy Kimmel (Sacrificial --- Death)

#3467.  Tits Are Fake (Cups And Cakes --- Spinal Tap)

#3468.  Dumbfuck Bondi (Must Crush Barbie --- Spinal Tap)

#3469.  Blowing In Mar-a-Lago (Going To California --- Led Zeppelin)

#3470.  The UFC And Dana White (I'm Beginning To See The Light --- Frank Sinatra)

#3471.  Donald Loved Stormy (Gimme Some Money --- Spinal Tap)

#3472.  Jerry Jeudy (Heavy Duty --- Judas Priest)

#3473.  Antifa (Amnesia --- Saga)

#3474.  Congressman Don Bacon (Bringing Home The Bacon --- Procol Harum)

#3475.  Brendan Carr (Drive My Car --- The Beatles)

#3476.  Trump Gold Card (Cop Graveyard --- Teen Suicide)

#3477.  Trump Dump Forever (Hell Bent For Leather)

#3478.  Trump Dump World (Stupid Girl --- Garbage)

#3479.  Trump Is A Shitshow (Come To My Window --- Melissa Etheridge) 

#3480.  Gold Card (Graveyard --- Blue Rodeo)

#3481.  Halligan's Big Lie (Mulligan's Goodbye --- Hamilton)

#3482.  Prosecutor Halligan (Alexander Hamilton --- Hamilton

#3483.  Dirty Cop (Coffee Shop --- Red Hot Chili Peppers)

#3484.  Dirty Cop (Lollipop --- The Chordettes)

#3485.  Dirty Cop (Candy Shop --- 50 Cent & Olivia)

#3486.  SLIMEBALL (Rag Doll --- Franki Valli & The Four Seasons)

#3487.  Dirty Cop (Lollipop --- Treblemakers)

#3488.  Trump Shutdown (Lay It Down --- Ratt)

#3489.  The Donald's Trumpin' And Dumpin' (You've Got Another Thing Comin' --- Judas Priest)

#3490.  Slimeball (Rag Doll --- Aerosmith)

#3491.  The Donald Shutdown (The Final Countdown --- Europe)

#3492.  Shutdown (Downtown --- Petula Clark)

#3493.  Shutdown Street (Shakedown Street --- Grateful Dead)

#3494.  Shutdown (Breakdown --- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)

#3495.  Trump Shut Shit Down (Don't Bring Me Down --- Electric Light Orchestra)

#3496.  Jared Kushner's A Jew (What I Like About You --- The Romantics)

#3497.  Shutdown (Slow Down --- Ozzy Osbourne)

#3498.  Pete Hegseth (Kiss of Death --- Dokken)

#3499.  Peter Hegseth (Angel Of Death --- Slayer) 

Please do not share this material with Pete Hegseth and/or President Donald J. Trump.