#3591. Ivanka

If I was a wealthy adventurous gambler, I'd travel back in time and place a money line wager on the following proposition.

Jeff Epstein molested, or attempted to molest... Ivanka Trump.  

If you think about the early 90's time frame when Epstein and Trump were best buds, it kinda makes sense.

And the Orange Prolapse found out about it... 

 

but was dismissive and looked the other way.

My hunch is that there's probably some semi-redacted testimony buried deep in the Epstein files.  Hey, a scenario of this nature would be utterly devastating to the Trump brand.  Not to mention the presidency and all of his imbecilic endorsments.

An investigative reporter should ask Ivanka Kushner a/k/a "Cunt Dump" about this.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Far better suited for a "Make America Grate Again" Dump.

Plenty of Dahntahn Dumps ahead of Light-Up night.

This Dump is the terrorism equivalent of 9/11.  I'll be curious to see if they hosed off the Clemente Bridge.  Doubtful.

In other news, today the Bears (-3) will host the Steelers at Soldier Field... the site of my all-time favorite Dead show.

A one night stand in the summer of 1991.

 And that's despite the unnecessary caterwauling of Vince Welnick!

 

 

Ivanka
sonofsaf

Donald will fuck you with his make up and the tanning it’s a bad disguise
Ivanka, Ivanka
My Trumper flags are unfurled like a retarded enemy
Ivanka

Donald will fuck you with a dildo up the asshole all day and night
Ivanka, Ivanka
Why doncha blow a tiny mushrooom penis fuckin’ Stormy D.

MAGA you’ll fear shit is on display, Ivanka, yeah
Stormy’s thong is in disarray

Donald Trump is gay
Forty-seven’s gay, Ivanka yeah
Donald Trump is gay
Forty-seven’s gay, Ivanka yeah

Mental basket case is whining on Truth Social asshole opens wide
Ivanka, Ivanka
Why doncha blow a Proud Girl dyke the art of the steal’s so bad
Ivanka

A toilet and stall for a clown is golden it’s a shit surprise
Ivanka, Ivanka
Jeff Epstein was abusing you but Donald wasn’t mad

MAGA you’ll fear shit is on display, Ivanka, yeah
Stormy’s thong is in disarray

Donald Trump is gay
Forty-seven’s gay, Ivanka yeah
Donald Trump is gay
Forty-seven’s gay, Ivanka yeah

MAGA you’ll fear shit is on display, Ivanka, yeah
Stormy’s thong is in disarray

Donald Trump is gay
Forty-seven’s gay, Ivanka yeah
Donald Trump is gay
Forty-seven’s gay, Ivanka yeah
Donald Trump is gay
Forty-seven’s gay, Ivanka yeah
Donald Trump is gay
Forty-seven’s gay, Ivanka yeah

 

Rosanna
Toto

All I wanna do when I wake up in the morning is see your eyes
Rosanna, Rosanna
I never thought that a girl like you could ever care for me
Rosanna 

All I wanna do in the middle of the evening is hold you tight
Rosanna, Rosanna
I didn't know you were looking for more than I could ever be

Not quite a year since she went away, Rosanna, yeah
Now she's gone and I have to say

Meet you all the way
Meet you all the way, Rosanna yeah
Meet you all the way
Meet you all the way, Rosanna yeah

I can see your face still shining through the window on the other side
Rosanna, Rosanna
I didn't know that a girl like you could make me feel so sad
Rosanna 

All I want to tell you is now you'll never ever have to compromise
Rosanna, Rosanna
I never thought that losing you could ever hurt so bad

Not quite a year since she went away, Rosanna yeah
Now she's gone and I have to say

Meet you all the way
Meet you all the way, Rosanna yeah
Meet you all the way
Meet you all the way, Rosanna yeah

Not quite a year since she went away, Rosanna yeah
Now she's gone and I have to say

Meet you all the way
Meet you all the way, Rosanna yeah
Meet you all the way
Meet you all the way, Rosanna yeah
Meet you all the way
Meet you all the way, Rosanna yeah
Meet you all the way
Meet you all the way, Rosanna yeah

Probably their best tune.  Africa being a close second.  Obviously, these are the only two Toto songs I'm familiar with.

Rambling lyrics.  This parody could be a notch tighter. 

Yesterday afternoon, they were sound-checking this song on the main stage at Light-Up Night.  That's when I summoned the inspiration.

From 2017 to 2025, Toto has concluded that "there's no place like Pittsburgh" on 4 separate occasions.

Never seen 'em.

The Big Lie 100:

#3412.  Epstein Files (Million Miles --- Fuel)

#3413.  Nancy Mace (Cyberspace --- AC/DC)

#3414.  Nancy Mace (Paper Chase --- The Academy Is...)

#3415.  Sarah Qudah (Barracuda --- Heart) 

#3416.  Bolton Bummer (Golden Slumbers --- Paul McCartney)

#3417.  Jeff Crank (Blood Bank --- Macabre)

#3418.  Donald Trump's A Total Shitshow (Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go --- Wham)

#3419.  Laura E. Loomer (I Heard A Rumor --- Bananarama)

#3420.  Gor (War --- Son Lux)

#3421.  Gor (War --- The Exploited)

#3422.  Fat Orange Man (Sharp Dressed Man --- ZZ Top)

#3423.  Senator Rounds (Comforting Sounds --- Mew)

#3424.  Trump Center (Tormentor --- Kreator)

#3425.  Gor (War --- The Cardigans) 

#3426.  O'Neill (The Wheel --- Grateful Dead)

#3427.  Fuck Ashli Babbitt (I Am A Rabbitt --- The Lemonheads)

#3428.  Ernst Was For Sale (Cursed Female --- Porno For Pyros)

#3429.  Donald Clown (Golden Brown --- The Stranglers)

#3430.  Jim O'Neill (Heart Of Steel --- A Flock Of Seagulls)

#3431.  Cracker's A Barrel (Roll Out The Barrel --- West Coast Prost)

#3432.  Scumbag Nancy Mace (Scumbag Human Race --- Destruction)

#3433.  Trump (Plump --- Hole)

#3434.  Laura Loomer (Sense Of Humor --- Daniel Johnston)

#3435.  Ashley Hinson (Turning Crimson --- IAMX)

#3436.  Dana White (Satellite --- Depeche Mode)

#3437.  Dana White (Dynamite --- Scorpions)

#3438.  Dana White (Satellite --- All Time Low)

#3439.  Dana White (One More Night --- Phil Collins)

#3440.  White (Night --- Judy Collins)

#3441.  Dana White (Fly By Night --- Rush)

#3442.  Dana White (Silent Night --- Taylor Swift)

#3443.  White (Fight --- The Cure)

#3444.  Dana White (Satellite --- Brian Jonestown Massacre)

#3445.  Trump Is Inbred (Over My Head --- Alabama Shakes)

#3446.  Amicola (Ayatollah --- Catfish And The Bottlemen)

#3447.  Charlie Kirk (Dirty Work --- Steely Dan)

#3448.  Charlie Kirk Sold Out (We Can Work It Out --- The Beatles)

#3449.  White's Cum (nightcum --- Corbin)

#3450.  Dana White (Satellite --- Guster)

#3451.  Tyler Robinson (Mrs. Robinson --- Simon & Garfunkel)

#3452.  Dana White (See The Light --- Hillsong Worship)

#3453.  Buffalo Bills (Run To The Hills --- Iron Maiden)

#3454.  Russ Diamond (Black Diamond --- Kiss)

#3455.  Tyrus (Iris --- Goo Goo Dolls)

#3456.  Tyrus (Iris --- The Breeders)

#3457.  Tyrus (Iris --- Live)

#3458.  Blow Dana White (Go Fly A Kite --- Bing Crosby)

#3459.  Russ Diamond (Black Diamond --- Bee Gees)

#3460.  Charlie Kirk (Dirty Work --- Sunami)

#3461.  The Orange Prolapse Stain (I Can't Stand The Rain --- Tina Turner)

#3462.  Tyrus (Iris --- Pastel Ghost)

#3463.  Fuck Dana White (The Inner Light --- The Beatles)

#3464.  Antifa (Amnesia --- The Vines)

#3465.  Antifa (Amnesia --- Mr. Kittie)

#3466.  Jimmy Kimmel (Sacrificial --- Death)

#3467.  Tits Are Fake (Cups And Cakes --- Spinal Tap)

#3468.  Dumbfuck Bondi (Must Crush Barbie --- Spinal Tap)

#3469.  Blowing In Mar-a-Lago (Going To California --- Led Zeppelin)

#3470.  The UFC And Dana White (I'm Beginning To See The Light --- Frank Sinatra)

#3471.  Donald Loved Stormy (Gimme Some Money --- Spinal Tap)

#3472.  Jerry Jeudy (Heavy Duty --- Judas Priest)

#3473.  Antifa (Amnesia --- Saga)

#3474.  Congressman Don Bacon (Bringing Home The Bacon --- Procol Harum)

#3475.  Brendan Carr (Drive My Car --- The Beatles)

#3476.  Trump Gold Card (Cop Graveyard --- Teen Suicide)

#3477.  Trump Dump Forever (Hell Bent For Leather)

#3478.  Trump Dump World (Stupid Girl --- Garbage)

#3479.  Trump Is A Shitshow (Come To My Window --- Melissa Etheridge) 

#3480.  Gold Card (Graveyard --- Blue Rodeo)

#3481.  Halligan's Big Lie (Mulligan's Goodbye --- Hamilton)

#3482.  Prosecutor Halligan (Alexander Hamilton --- Hamilton

#3483.  Dirty Cop (Coffee Shop --- Red Hot Chili Peppers)

#3484.  Dirty Cop (Lollipop --- The Chordettes)

#3485.  Dirty Cop (Candy Shop --- 50 Cent & Olivia)

#3486.  SLIMEBALL (Rag Doll --- Franki Valli & The Four Seasons)

#3487.  Dirty Cop (Lollipop --- Treblemakers)

#3488.  Trump Shutdown (Lay It Down --- Ratt)

#3489.  The Donald's Trumpin' And Dumpin' (You've Got Another Thing Comin' --- Judas Priest)

#3490.  Slimeball (Rag Doll --- Aerosmith)

#3491.  The Donald Shutdown (The Final Countdown --- Europe)

#3492.  Shutdown (Downtown --- Petula Clark)

#3493.  Shutdown Street (Shakedown Street --- Grateful Dead)

#3494.  Shutdown (Breakdown --- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)

#3495.  Trump Shut Shit Down (Don't Bring Me Down --- Electric Light Orchestra)

#3496.  Jared Kushner's A Jew (What I Like About You --- The Romantics)

#3497.  Shutdown (Slow Down --- Ozzy Osbourne)

#3498.  Pete Hegseth (Kiss of Death --- Dokken)

#3499.  Peter Hegseth (Angel Of Death --- Slayer)

#3500.  Fake News (Bad News --- Zach Bryan)

#3501.  Trumpin'  (Truckin' --- Grateful Dead)

#3502.  Donald's Hair & Andy Barr (Kitchenwares & Candy Bars --- Stone Temple Pilots)

#3503.  Pete Hegseth (Kiss Of Death --- New Order)

#3504.  Univision (Television --- Stabbing Westward)

#3505.  Nobel Peace Prize (Devil Inside --- INXS)

#3506.  Scavino (Don't You Know --- The Hollies)

#3507.  Trump Fucked Stormy (Pump Dat Party --- Chemical Brothers)

#3508.  Donald J. Trump (Mutual Slump --- DJ Shadow)

#3509.  Scavino (Don't You Know --- DEVO)

#3510.  Trump (Slump --- Ginger Root)

#3511.  Dumping In Mar-A-Lago (Humping On Your Stereo --- Supergrass)

#3512.  Meloni (Bologna --- Oscar Meyer Commercial)

#3513.  Kushner's A Fucking Jew (Making Our Dreams Come True --- Cyndi Grecco)

#3514.  Scott Kenneth Bessent (Under The Crescent --- Lake Of Tears)

#3515.  Disarm (Disarm --- Smashing Pumpkins)

#3516.  Vince Fong (Bird Song --- Grateful Dead)

#3517.  Scott Bessent's Face (Incessant Mace --- Soundgarden)

#3518.  Kirk Was A Bitch (Working The Ditch --- Melvins)

#3519.  Blue Slip (One Slip --- Pink Floyd)

#3520.  Gallrein (Cocaine --- Eric Clapton)

#3521.  Thune Plan (Spoonman --- Soundgarden)

#3522.  Scott Bessent's Gay (Fluorescent Grey)

#3523.  Ed Gallrein (Ball And Chain --- The Who)

#3524.  Matt Van Epps (Baby Steps --- Olivia Dean)

#3525.  William Crain (Mary Jane --- Spin Doctors)

#3526.  William Crain (Gravy Train --- Staus Quo)

#3527.  Cole (Hole --- Jimmie's Chicken Shack)

#3528.  Donald Trump And Paul Gosar (Anyone Can Play Guitar --- Radiohead)

#3529.  Ballroom Shit (Ballroom Blitz --- Krokus)

#3530.  Ballroom (Perfume --- Old 97's)

#3531.  Ballroom Bullshit (Courtroom Spirit --- Annette Soundtrack)

#3532.  Sununu (Who Are You --- Black Sabbath)

#3533.  Brad Little's Turds (Three Little Birds --- Bob Marley & The Wailers)

#3534.  'Vanka's A Jew (Still Loving You --- Scorpions)

#3535.  Donald's In Charge (Charles In Charge --- Sitcom theme song)

#3536.  Andrew Clyde (Suicide --- Teen Suicide)

#3537.  (Ice Team) --- ((Nice Dream) --- Radiohead)

#3538.  Arctic Frost (Holocaust --- Ceremony)

#3539.  Arctic Frost (Holocaust --- Dan England & John Ford Coley)

#3540.  Tylenol (Waterfall --- Bananarama)

#3541.  Tylenol (Cannonball --- The Breeders)

#3542.  Arctic Frost (Holocaust --- Son Volt)

#3543.  Melissa (Melissa --- King Diamond)

#3544.  Trump Dumpin' It's The Ballroom Shitshow (She Came In Through The Bathroom Window --- The Beatles)

#3545.  Peace Through Strength (Give Me Strength --- Eric Clapton)

#3546.  Peace Through Strength (Inner Strength --- Hilary Duff)

#3547.  Peace Through Strength (Give Me Strength --- Neil Young)

#3548.  Tylenol (Waterfall --- Electric Light Orchestra)

#3549.  Ballroom (Perfume --- The Jesus And Mary Chain)

#3550.  Nigeria (Albania --- Coach from Cheers)

#3551.  Forty-Five (So Alive --- Love And Rockets)

#3552.  Andrew Clyde (Mama Tried --- Grateful Dead)

#3553.  Stormy's Thong (We Belong --- Pat Benatar)

#3554.  Stormy's Thong Forever (We Belong Together --- Bad Brains)

#3555.  Stormy's Thong Brings Pleasure (We Belong Together --- Ritchie Valens)

#3556.  Andrew Clyde (Suicide --- Puddle of Mudd)

#3557.  Donald Is A Wimp (Danny Is A Wimp --- Screeching Weasel)

#3558.  Scharf Lie (Barfly --- Ray LaMontagne)

#3559.  Ballroom (Perfume --- Marilyn Manson)

#3560.  Seven (Heaven --- Bryan Adams)

#3561.  Casey Means (Pork And Beans --- Weezer)

#3562.  Fuentes Is Inbred (Always In My Head --- Coldplay)

#3563.  Shitshow MAGA Trumper (Hello From The Gutter --- Overkill)

#3564.  Liz Peek (Don't Speak --- No Doubt)

#3565.  Two Thousand Dollars (A Thousand Miles --- Vanessa Carlton)

#3566.  Liz Peek (Boutique --- Love Is Noise)

#3567.  Amon-Ra St. Brown (Runnin' Down A Dream --- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)

#3568.  Amon-Ra: St. Brown Clown (Farmingdale: The Downtown --- They Might Be Giants)

#3569.  Amon-Ra St.: Brown Is A Clown) (Shake Your Body: Down To The Ground --- The Jacksons)

#3570.  Amon-Ra St. Brown (Just Another Clown --- Jigsaw Youth)

#3571.  Saint Brown (Breakdown --- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)

#3572.  Epstein Hoax (Different Strokes theme song --- Alan Thicke)

#3573.  Stormy D.  (Hard On Me --- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)

#3574.  Marjorie (Forgery --- Prong)

#3575.  Fuck Tha Police (Karma Police --- Radiohead)

#3576.  The Donald And Marjorie (Cool Amber And Mercury --- Phish)

#3577.  Trumpin' 'n Dumpin' (Money For Nothing --- Dire Straits)

#3578.  Newt (Nude --- Radiohead)

#3579.  Stormy D.  (Jammin' Me -- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)

#3580.  Rod Bray (Good Day --- New Hope Club)

#3581.  Epstein Files (100 Miles --- Bad Company)

#3582.  Jeff Epstein Files (A Hundred Miles --- Meat Puppets)

#3583.  The Epstein Files (A Million Miles --- Heart)

#3584.  Jeff Epstein Files (10,000 Miles --- Mary Chapin Carpenter)

#3585.  Jeff Epstein Files (Five Hundred Miles --- Justin Timberlake)

#3586.  Epstein Files Hooray (Million Miles Away --- The Offspring)

#3587.  Matt Van Epps (Fifteen Steps --- Radiohead)

#3588.  Infection Of The Yeast (The Number Of The Beast --- Iron Maiden)

#3589.  Greene (Green --- The Dandy Warhols)

#3590.  The Orange Prolapse Clown (The Heart Of A Clown --- Willie Nelson)

#3591.  Ivanka (Roseanna --- Toto)

Please do not share this material with Ivanka Kushner and/or President Donald J. Trump.