#655. Jeremy

68 year old adult film star Ronald Jeremy Hyatt, better known as Ron Jeremy, was arrested and charged with over 30 counts of rape and sexual assault.  Twenty one victims spanning from 2004-2020.  

Gotta be blunt.  He never really looked that good in the first place.

The Los Angeles judge set bail at a staggering 6.6 million.  Needless to say, he was remanded into custody.

 

Jeremy
sonofsaf

At home watching porno
On VCR’s
He just can’t stop
Masturbation fun
Cock hard making cream
Forced sodomy’s not cool or part of the show

Ronny showed too much affection
Oh, what is up with Ronny’s pubic hair
Ron Jeremy the dickhead
Oh, raped those girls

Jeremy coked up a bad lay
Jeremy coked up a bad lay

Should he be dismembered
Penis ain’t a toy
Was it a case of bad luck
But he just kept on tryin’
Bashed his meat and titty-fucked those lady’s chests

Who would they suspect
He shit on me with a soul bereft
Her cunt not squirting
Mind not coping
He is not gay
He is not gay she learned

Ronny showed too much affection, no
He was a porno king did things you wouldn’t dare
Ron Jeremy the dickhead
Oh raped those girls

Jeremy’s coked up a bad lay
Jeremy’s coked up a bad lay
Jeremy’s coked up a bad lay

Why you suck his dick (try to suck his dick)
Why you fuck his dick (try to fuck his dick)
Or you’re a whore

Jeremy’s coked up a bad lay
Jeremy’s coked up a bad lay

Jeremy’s coked up
Coked up
Jeremy’s coked up
Coked up
Jeremy’s coked up a bad lay

 

Jeremy
Pearl Jam

At home drawing pictures
Of mountain tops
With him on top
Lemon yellow sun
Arms raised in a V
And the dead lay in pools of maroon below

Daddy didn't give attention
Oh, to the fact that mommy didn't care
King Jeremy the wicked
Oh, ruled his world

Jeremy spoke in class today
Jeremy spoke in class today

Clearly I remember
Pickin' on the boy
Seemed a harmless little fuck
But we unleashed the lion
Gnashed his teeth and bit the recess lady's breast

How could I forget
And he hit me with a surprise left
My jaw left hurting
Dropped wide open
Just like the day
Oh, like the day I heard

Daddy didn't give affection, no
And the boy was something that mommy wouldn't wear
King Jeremy the wicked
Oh ruled his world

Jeremy spoke in class today
Jeremy spoke in class today
Jeremy spoke in class today

Try to forget this (try to forget this)
Try to erase this (try to erase this)
From the blackboard

Jeremy spoke in class today
Jeremy spoke in class today

Jeremy spoke in
Spoke in
Jeremy spoke in
Spoke in
Jeremy spoke in class today

Pearl Jam:

8-25-98, Star Lake Amphitheater, Burgettstown, PA
9-5-00, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
9-28-05, PNC Park, Pittsburgh, PA (opened for the Rolling Stones)
6-23-06, Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, PA
10-27-09, Wachovia Spectrum, Philadelphia, PA
10-28-09, Wachovia Spectrum, Philadelphia, PA
5-6-10, Nationwide Arena, Columbus, OH
5-9-10, Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, OH
10-11-13, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA
10-1-14, U.S. Bank Arena, Cincinnati, OH
9-26-15, Central Park, New York City, NY (Global Citizen Festival)
4-28-16, Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, PA
4-29-16, Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, PA

Over the years, I've grown tired of most songs from the Ten album.  Evenflowed out.  Although sneaking into a sold out 2016 Wells Fargo Center in Philly for the infamous Ten concert did have a certain baked Pearl Jam appeal.

Favorite songs?  Too many to mention.  Faithful, Given to Fly, Corduroy, Just Breathe...  

Best tour?  I'm really fond of the bootlegs from 2005 & 2006.

Please do not share this information with adult film star Ron Jeremy.

#654. David Spade

Local musician Jeff Jimerson is Pittsburgh's go-to singer for the national anthem at Penguins games.  From what I understand, he has a side gig performing in a Motorhead tribute band.  

I looked on the internet for footage and info.  But found zilch.  Zippo.  I could've sworn I remember the Super Genius mentioning this on his radio show a couple years ago.  Perhaps I was mistaken.

Regardless, if Jimerson wishes to steal my Ace of Spades parody... well, have at it.  It would be a tremendous honor.

 

David Spade
sonofsaf

Skip the damn preamble, he’s not from Pakistan
Let’s have some, dim sum, Asian food for me

Hollywood’s kinda gay, and so’s the city of L.A.
He doesn’t play the lead, the only role I see is one for David Spade
He’s David Spade

Acting is so much fun, never on the level
Fucking don’t you know, that nothing comes for free

Hell’s better than heaven, Satan Jesus too
Do not throw a fit, poker should be strip, he’s David Spade
He’s David Spade

Us actors get accused, ‘cause we don’t follow rules
Perhaps there is a case just maybe
I don't mean to sound so clever
Just stick my dick and poke her

Feelin’ fine and dandy, Joe Dirt’s mullet hair for me
Plumage gonna keep, his style he’ll defend
I know it wasn’t wise, don’t you ask me why
‘Cause nothing comes for free, you know he’s gonna say he’s David Spade
He’s David Spade

Ace of Spades
Motorhead

If you like to gamble, I tell you I'm your man
You win some, lose some, all the same to me

The pleasure is to play, makes no difference what you say
I don't share your greed, the only card I need is the Ace of Spades
The Ace of Spades

Playing for the high one, dancing with the devil
Going with the flow, it's all a game to me

Seven or eleven, snake eyes watching you
Double up or quit, double stake or split, the Ace of Spades
The Ace of Spades

You know I'm born to lose, and gambling's for fools
But that's the way I like it baby
I don't wanna live for ever
And don't forget the joker!

Pushing up the ante, I know you gotta see me
Read 'em and weep, the dead man's hand again
I see it in your eyes, take one look and die
The only thing you see, you know it's gonna be the Ace of Spades
The Ace of Spades

I've never found David Spade's brand of stand-up comedy terribly amusing.

Then again, I've never really given him much of a chance.

Motorhead:

11-17-88, Hara Arena, Dayton, OH (along with Overkill & Slayer... dear god)

8-8-03, Post Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA (along with Dio & Iron Maiden... again, dear god) 

Since back in 1982, Motorhead played Pittsburgh a grand total of 12 times.  

Lemmy passed away in 2015.  But his memory persists in the form of Lemmiwinks, the venerable gerbil-man/journeyman in the colon of Mr. Slave.

One of the finest "intro blips" for Pittsburgh sports-radio personality Mark Madden is when a caller asks him, "Who's better?  Lemmy or God?"  And the Super Genius fires back, "It's a trick question.  Lemmy is God."

Please do not share this material with actor David Spade.

#653. Who Killed Ashli Babbitt

I'm not typically inclined to help the likes of Donald Trump.  Nothing can supersede my disgust for the Orange Prolapse.  However, I do think this PR narrative has merit.  And it would be easily consumed by Trump nation at-large.

The black Capitol police officer who shot and killed Ashli Babbitt is going to "explain his actions" on Lester Holt tonight in a taped interview.  His identity has already been bandied about the far right echo chamber.  And he's already been on the receiving end of countless death threats.  So I guess it's now or never.  Even though he's been officially exonerated, it's still gonna be a long term public relations battle.  Better to voluntarily come out and go on the offensive.  Try and get ahead of the curve and frame the everything on your own terms.  As opposed to sitting back cautiously and playing defense. 

 

 

Just substitute those two individuals.  Chuck Schumer as the driver.  And the female behind him as a "lady of the night" version of Nancy Pelosi.  Transform the white rabbit into the black Capitol Police Officer with a gun in his raised right hand.  Make sure to utilize the exact same font.

It's a great idea because you can really exaggerate the physical comic book features of the original animated characters.  Also, it suggestively shifts the blame for 1-6 to Pelosi and Schumer.  Which is, of course, patently absurd.  The notion that those two are even remotely culpable.  But in the post Trump presidency era, it's all buffoonery, internet optics and imbecilic nonsense.  I didn't do it.  You did it.  It's all your fault.

 

Who killed ASHLI BABBITT
sonofsaf

Who framed ROGER RABBITT
Robert Zemekis

The Big Lie 100: (#41)

#390.  Big Lie (Free Ride --- Edgar Winter)

#487.  Donald's Big Lie (Mr. Blue Sky --- E.L.O.)

#495.  American Lie (American Pie --- Don McLean)

#520.  The Big Lie (When Doves Cry --- Prince)

#530.  Big Lie (High Time --- Grateful Dead)

#545.  Big Lie (Goodbye --- Night Ranger)

#548.  Trump World's, Big Lie (Big Girls, Don't Cry --- Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons)  

#549.  All A Big Lie (Live And Let Die --- Paul McCartney)

#550.  Would Trump Lie To You (Would I Lie To You --- Annie Lennox)

#552.  Big Liar (Big Spender --- Shirley Bassey)

 

#553.  Big Lie (Big Me --- Foo Fighters)

#555.  The Big Lie (Let Her Cry --- Hootie And The Blowfish)

#557.  Big Lie (Big Love --- Fleetwood Mac)

#559.  Big Lies (Big Balls --- AC/DC)

#561.  The Big Lie (Aces High --- Iron Maiden)

#562.  Big Lie Trump Overload (Goodbye Yellow Brick Road --- Elton John)

#563.  Byrne's A Bitch (Burn The Witch --- Radiohead)

#564.  As The World Byrnes (As The World Burns --- Kreator)

#565.  Lie (Cry --- Godley and Creme)

#567.  Byrne In Hell (Burn In Hell --- Twisted Sister) 

#571.  He's A Scrotum The Big Lie (I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry --- Hank Williams)

#594.  Lie Lie You Trumpers (Die Die My Darling --- Metallica)

#595.  To Live Is To Lie (To Live Is To Die --- Metallica) 

 

#596.  Don't Lie (Don't Cry --- Guns'n'Roses)

#597.  Big Lie (Big Time --- Peter Gabriel)

#601.  Lies (Lies --- Thompson Twins)

#602.  Liar (Liar --- Three Dog Night)

#606.  Lie Free-For-All (Fly On The Wall --- AC/DC)

#609.  Big Liar (Big River --- Grateful Dead)

#616.  Jeffrey Clark (Rosa Parks --- OutKast)

#626.  So Great At Big Lies (Too Late For Goodbyes --- Julian Lennon)

#627.  Liar (Liar --- Henry Rollins)

#630.  Lie!  Lie! (Why?!  Why?! --- Nancy Kerrigan)

#632.  Fucked Up Lie (Custard Pie --- Led Zeppelin)

#633.  Tommy (Zombie --- The Cranberries)

#636.  Everybody Blows (Justice League Soundtrack --- Sigrid)

#639.  Orange Clown (Small Town --- John Cougar Mellencamp)

#640.  Be Unforgiving And Never Stop Lying (Shawshank Redemption --- Morgan Freeman / Tim Robbins)

#643.  Stampede (Candide --- Leonard Bernstein) 

#651.  It's The Big Lie (Electric Eye --- Judas Priest)

#653.  Who Killed Ashli Babbitt (Who Killed Roger Rabbit --- Robert Zemekis)

Never seen the movie or any of the sequels.  No desire whatsoever. 

Please do not share this material with any relatives of the late Ashli Babbitt.

#652. Oh (Gay Mo)

My 11th parody of riot inducer, domestic terrorist sympathizer, and general all-around cocksucker Congressman Mo Brooks (R-AL). 

Fearless faggot is more like it.

Looks like the 1-6 House Investigation Committee will be issuing subpoenas to the wireless communication companies.  They want "hundreds" of phone records from members of Congress and other key figures who participated in the attempted coup.  In particular, those who just can't seem to remember if they spoke with the Orange Prolapse on the fateful day.

Watch 'em squirm.  And by the way, if I were on the 1-6 committee, I'd be floating the notion that some of the major instigators (Trump, Trump Jr. and his bizarro girlfriend, Mo Brooks, My Pillow Fuck) should be temporarily placed on the no-fly list for inciting a deadly political riot where scores of innocent people were killed and injured.  At least stick 'em on the list until everything gets sorted out in Congress.  Isn't that what the no-fly list is for anyway? 

Hey, the least you could do is try to keep that disgusting slob Giuliani out of the JFK airport Delta lounge.

Rudy publicly grooming himself.  Face!

Mo Brooks:

#218.  Everyday I Fight Mo Brooks (Everyday I Write The Book --- Elvis Costello)

#260.  They Hate Mo (I Don't Know --- Ozzy Osbourne)

#283.  Brooks That Kill (Looks That Kill --- Motley Crue)

#517.  Mo (Low --- Cracker)

#522.  Let It Mo (Let It Go --- Def Leppard)

#523.  Let It Mo (Let It Go --- Frozen Soundtrack)

#529.  Mo Mo Morris Brooks (Row Row Row Your Boat --- unknown)

#637.  Fuck You Mo (Let It Snow --- Frank Sinatra)

#638.  Mo Brooks And His Skin (Blowin' In The Wind --- Bob Dylan)

#644.  Brooks Loves Blood (Book Of Blood --- Armored Saint)

#652.  Oh (Gay Mo) - (Snow (Hey Oh) --- Red Hot Chili Peppers)

 

 

Oh (Gay Mo)
sonofsaf

Gay Mo
Christian he is gay, Mo
He is so gay Mo
Damn Christian he is gay, Mo

Snow (Hey Oh)
Red Hot Chili Peppers

Hey oh
Listen what I say, oh
I got your hey oh
Now listen what I say, oh

This song is incapable of being parodied.  The rest of the lyrics are nonsensical gibberish.  So I just did the memorable chorus.

Since 1984, the Red Hot Chili Peppers have played Pittsburgh 14 times.  Never seen 'em.  I've always thought they were a tad overrated.  Not a big fan of their bass player Flea.  His existence bothers me.

Please do not share this material with Mo Brooks (R-AL).

#651. It's The Big Lie

Rest assured, as long as Trump continues to dismiss the big lie (which he will do until he dies), I will continue to write material which exposes the big lie.  Well at least until I git to #100.

Regardless, I was checking out the latest 2024 presidential election odds.  Pretty much what you'd expect.  Although I must say, Mike Pompeo seems like a pretty enticing wager at +5000.  He has that George Bush Sr. styled resume.  But way more ambitious and power hungry.  At 57 years old and with a taste for DC, I doubt he'd be content to simply head back to the bible belt and run for statewide office.  You know, be seen traipsing through rural Kansas, but at the same time, skillfully avoiding the Westboro Baptist Church in Topkea.  Sigh.

2024 Election Odds

Candidate (Party)	Odds

Joe Biden (Dem)	+333
Kamala Harris (Dem)	+450
Donald Trump Sr (GOP)	+650
Ron DeSantis (GOP)	+1000
Nikki Haley (GOP)	+1200
Mike Pence (GOP)	+2500
Tucker Carlson (GOP)	+2800
Dwayne Johnson (TBD)	+3300
Elizabeth Warren (Dem)	+3300
Pete Buttigieg (Dem)	+3300
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (Dem)	+4000
Beto O’Rourke (Dem)	+4000
Ted Cruz (GOP)	+4000
Amy Klobuchar (Dem)	+5000
Candace Owens (GOP)	+5000
Donald Trump Jr (GOP)	+5000
Ivanka Trump (GOP)	+5000
Josh Hawley (GOP)	+5000
Marco Rubio (GOP)	+5000
Michelle Obama (Dem)	+5000
Mike Pompeo (GOP)	+5000
Tom Cotton (GOP)	+5000
Andrew Yang (Dem)	+6600
Kanye West (GOP)	+6600

Kinda surprised they didn't include Governor Kristi Noem (R-SD).  I'm virtually certain she'll run.  But she's more likely gonna pull a Kamala.  You know... join the debate stage, get some shots in, and then purposely fade while discreetly seeking out the VP spot on the Republican ticket.

Seriously though, when it comes to Mike Pompeo, I like him as a viable dark horse.  Not only has he successfully distanced himself the Orange Prolapse, but the majority of Republican voters will probably be looking for a more establishment candidate after the Trump coup investigations finally conclude.  Which I suspect will be conveniently sandwiched between the 2022 primary > 2022 general.  Though mostly during the latter stretch so as not to disrupt any support for far-right Republican extremist candidates.  If I'm Pelosi, I want to see the Republicunts nominate as many sycophantic Trumpy douchebags is as humanly possible.  Push the party to the fringe.  Then, take those orange clown subsidiaries down, along with all that investigatory momentum, straight into the general.

So welcome to #40.  Maybe for Number 41 I'll try a Dave Matthews song (#41 is one of my favorite DMB tunes).  Although I gotta equivocate.  His song's aren't lyrically well-suited for parodies.  But I might give it a shot.  Depends on my mood.

 

It’s The Big Lie
sonofsaf

Trump lost the race
Democracy too
A big disgrace
America too

You’ll drink until you die
And never smoke the kind
Stormy it wasn’t rape
And porno’s not a crime

You’re under his spell
On Donald’s team
His life’s regrettable
He made the border mean

Not elected it’s the big lie
Democrats pray for him to die

More hocus pocus
Cyber Ninja flair
He’ll always screw you
He just doesn't care

He took a ride on Air Force One taxpayer groove
His fearless ball sack’s fake and just about to spooge

You’re under his spell
On Donald’s team
His life’s regrettable
He made the border mean

Not elected it’s the big lie
Democrats pray for him to die

It’s the big lie, don’t ask why
It’s not fair, don’t you care
There's nothing you can do but eat shit
Should keep you on your toes
The fire and fury he has wrought
He is reaching new lows

You’re under his spell
On Donald’s team
His life’s regrettable
He's made the border mean
Not elected it’s the big lie
Democrats pray for him to die
Rejected.  Dejected.  It’s the big lie

 

Electric Eye
Judas Priest

Up here in space
I'm looking down on you
My lasers trace
Everything you do

You think you've private lives
Think nothing of the kind
There is no true escape
I'm watching all the time

I'm made of metal
My circuits gleam
I am perpetual
I keep the country clean

I'm elected electric spy
I'm protected electric eye

Always in focus
You can't feel my stare
I zoom into you
You don't know I'm there

I take a pride in probing all your secret moves
My tearless retina takes pictures that can prove

I'm made of metal
My circuits gleam
I am perpetual
I keep the country clean

I'm elected electric spy
I'm protected electric eye

Electric eye, in the sky
Feel my stare, always there
There's nothing you can do about it
Develop and expose
I feed upon your every thought
And so my power grows

I'm made of metal
My circuits gleam
I am perpetual
I keep the country clean
I'm elected electric spy
I'm protected electric eye
Protected. Detective. Electric eye.

The Big Lie 100: (#40)

#390.  Big Lie (Free Ride --- Edgar Winter)

#487.  Donald's Big Lie (Mr. Blue Sky --- E.L.O.)

#495.  American Lie (American Pie --- Don McLean)

#520.  The Big Lie (When Doves Cry --- Prince)

#530.  Big Lie (High Time --- Grateful Dead)

#545.  Big Lie (Goodbye --- Night Ranger)

#548.  Trump World's, Big Lie (Big Girls, Don't Cry --- Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons)  

#549.  All A Big Lie (Live And Let Die --- Paul McCartney)

#550.  Would Trump Lie To You (Would I Lie To You --- Annie Lennox)

#552.  Big Liar (Big Spender --- Shirley Bassey)

 

#553.  Big Lie (Big Me --- Foo Fighters)

#555.  The Big Lie (Let Her Cry --- Hootie And The Blowfish)

#557.  Big Lie (Big Love --- Fleetwood Mac)

#559.  Big Lies (Big Balls --- AC/DC)

#561.  The Big Lie (Aces High --- Iron Maiden)

#562.  Big Lie Trump Overload (Goodbye Yellow Brick Road --- Elton John)

#563.  Byrne's A Bitch (Burn The Witch --- Radiohead)

#564.  As The World Byrnes (As The World Burns --- Kreator)

#565.  Lie (Cry --- Godley and Creme)

#567.  Byrne In Hell (Burn In Hell --- Twisted Sister) 

#571.  He's A Scrotum The Big Lie (I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry --- Hank Williams)

#594.  Lie Lie You Trumpers (Die Die My Darling --- Metallica)

#595.  To Live Is To Lie (To Live Is To Die --- Metallica) 

 

#596.  Don't Lie (Don't Cry --- Guns'n'Roses)

#597.  Big Lie (Big Time --- Peter Gabriel)

#601.  Lies (Lies --- Thompson Twins)

#602.  Liar (Liar --- Three Dog Night)

#606.  Lie Free-For-All (Fly On The Wall --- AC/DC)

#609.  Big Liar (Big River --- Grateful Dead)

#616.  Jeffrey Clark (Rosa Parks --- OutKast)

#626.  So Great At Big Lies (Too Late For Goodbyes --- Julian Lennon)

#627.  Liar (Liar --- Henry Rollins)

#630.  Lie!  Lie! (Why?!  Why?! --- Nancy Kerrigan)

#632.  Fucked Up Lie (Custard Pie --- Led Zeppelin)

#633.  Tommy (Zombie --- The Cranberries)

#636.  Everybody Blows (Justice League Soundtrack --- Sigrid)

#639.  Orange Clown (Small Town --- John Cougar Mellencamp)

#640.  Be Unforgiving And Never Stop Lying (Shawshank Redemption --- Morgan Freeman / Tim Robbins)

#643.  Stampede (Candide --- Leonard Bernstein) 

#651.  It's The Big Lie (Electric Eye --- Judas Priest)

Through the eyes of a teenager who got hooked on metal in the mid 80's, this was one of the most mesmerizing videos I'd ever witnessed.  At the time, the raw authenticity blew my mind.  Still does.

Since 1980, Judas Priest has come to the Burgh a total of 14 times.  They're coming to Youngstown next month on September 17.  I intend to attend.

Judas Priest:

8-24-04, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA (OzzFest)

Please do not share this material with former President Donald J. Trump.

#650. Mr. Herschel Walker

Yesterday, Herschel Walker announced his peach state candidacy for U.S. Senate.  He may have been a great college football player (Heisman winner with the Georgia Bulldogs in 1982), but for the love of Kushner, that was 30 years ago.  The man's never held political office.  Never had an interest in government or public policy.  Lives in Texas.  However, he is a black man who has a friendly relationship with the Orange Prolapse.  So naturally, that makes him a viable candidate to face off against fellow African American Raphael Warnock.

(left to right)  Trump, Walker & Cunt Dump.

 

Usually Trump will give you one of his dumbshit blog statements.  Herschel's is a highly respected man who loves our 2nd Amendment, loves our military, and will fight for your freedom.  He has my complete and total endorsement.  We must take back our country!  Win Georgia, Save America!

But Walker didn't even get one of these routine, tired acknowledgements.  Trump was probably too busy golfing or extracting money from his deranged base.  Here's his latest text message.

President Trump:

Everything Woke turns to SH*T!  You have 10 MINUTES to claim our NEW Trump shirt.  Get yours NOW!

Anyhoo, I wrote a free parody for Walker's campaign.  The goal being to convince your average Georgia voter, that Herschel Walker is indeed, a serious, viable candidate.  Hint: he ain't.  Even with the current climate of voter suppression in Georgia and elsewhere, Walker will lose handily.  That's assuming he even wins the primary.

 

Mr. Herschel Walker
sonofsaf

Hey Mr. Herschel Walker, policy wonk
He is here to stay he’s a policy wonk
He is here to stay he’s a policy wonk with his mind

Hey Mr. Herschel Walker, policy wonk
He is here to stay he’s a policy wonk
He is here to stay he’s a policy wonk from the South

Hey Mr. Herschel Walker, policy wonk
He is here to stay he’s a policy wonk
Hey Mr. Herschel Walker, policy wonk
He is here to stay he’s a policy wonk
Hey Mr. Herschel Walker, policy wonk
He is here to stay he’s a policy wonk
Hey Mr. Herschel Walker, policy wonk
He is here to stay he’s a policy wonk

 

Mr. Knickerbocker
Barney’s Greatest Hits

Hey Mr. Knickerbocker, boppity-bop
I like-a the way that you boppity-bop
I like-a the way that you boppity-bop with your hands

Hey Mr. Knickerbocker, boppity-bop
I like-a the way that you boppity-bop
I like-a the way that you boppity-bop with your mouth

Hey Mr. Knickerbocker, boppity-bop
I like-a the way that you boppity-bop
Hey Mr. Knickerbocker, boppity-bop
I like-a the way that you boppity-bop
Hey Mr. Knickerbocker, boppity-bop
I like-a the way that you boppity-bop
Hey Mr. Knickerbocker, boppity-bop
I like-a the way that you boppity-bop

"Mr. Herschel Walker" is the eagerly anticipated follow up to my #599 parody "Jive Walker."

Back in the summer of '92, I hit up a couple of Dead shows at Knickerbocker Arena in Albany, NY.  Funtimez!

That Barney video has over 11,000,000 hits.  Also funtimez.

Please do not share this material with Georgia U.S. Senate candidate Hershel Walker.

#649. Goin' Braless

Yesterday, New York's first female Governor became a reality. 

Democratic Lt. Governor Kathy Hochul took the oath of office.  The swearing-in ceremony wasn't terribly formal.  Somebody just asked her, "Do you wanna be a part of it?"  And she replied "New York!  New York!"... then instantly became the chief executive of the empire state. 

Alright, so Andrew Cummo is finally outta there.  Yummo Cummo!

 

Goin’ Braless
sonofsaf

She's Hochul so funny
She's Hochul her blow jobs are fun
All the turds Cuomo's flushing
Don’t moan when you’re on the throne

Oh my cleavage she's goin' braless
She's got fans if you please watch the polls, polls, polls
In Mario's stead because he done lied
Ain't a crime, ain't a crime, watch the polls, polls, polls

Stop the red, stop the red
Because he done lied due to what he said
Voters gonna give her a string thong
New York has tolls

Cuomo shoulda thanked me
‘Cause his meat was creepy
‘Cause his meat was creepy
Liked to play with his bone
Time had come to say goodbye
Even when you're a ho
Drama, drama, all the girls won’t cum
When they fucked his bone

Throwing Stones, Throwing Stones
Because he done lied he is all alone
Voters gonna give her a string thong
New York has tolls

Zipping those pants no pussy pillow
Give thanks on a ledge Jimmy Row, Row, Row
Never say goodbye he was a liar
Guv'nors cum and blow, just watch the polls, polls, polls

She's Hochul, she's Hochul
She's got a bridge for you to sell
Voters gonna give her a string thong
New York has tolls

 

Brokedown Palace
Grateful Dead

Fare you well my honey
Fare you well my only true one
All the birds that were singing
Have flown except you alone

Going to leave this brokedown palace
On my hands and my knees I will roll, roll, roll
Make myself a bed by the waterside
In my time, in my time, I will roll, roll, roll

In a bed, in a bed
By the waterside I will lay my head
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul

River gonna take me
Sing me sweet and sleepy
Sing me sweet and sleepy
All the way back back home
It's a far gone lullaby
Sung many years ago
Mama, mama, many worlds I've come
Since I first left home

Going home, going home
By the waterside I will rest my bones
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul

Going to plant a weeping willow
On the banks green edge it will grow, grow, grow
Sing a lullaby beside the water
Lovers come and go, the river roll, roll, roll

Fare you well, fare you well
I love you more than words can tell
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul

Grateful Dead:

04-08-89, Riverfront Coliseum, Cincinnati, OH
10-22-89, Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, NC
07-08-90, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA
09-07-90, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
09-08-90, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
03-18-91, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
03-20-91, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
03-21-91, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
06-09-91, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH
06-14-91, RFK Stadium, Washington, D.C.
06-21-91, Soldier Field, Chicago, IL
06-24-91, Sandstone Amphitheatre, Bonner Springs, KS
09-04-91, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
09-05-91, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
09-06-91, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
06-06-92, Rich Stadium, Orchard Park, NY
06-08-92, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
06-09-92, Richifeld Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
06-11-92, Knickerbocker Arena, Albany, NY
06-12-92, Knickerbocker Arena, Albany, NY
06-14-92, Giants Stadium, East Rutherford, NJ
06-15-92, Giants Stadium, East Rutherford, NJ
06-17-92, Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, NC
06-18-92, Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, NC
06-20-92, RFK Stadium, Washington, D.C.
06-22-92, Star Lake Amphitheatre, Burgettstown, PA
06-23-92, Star Lake Amphitheatre, Burgettstown, PA
06-25-92, Soldier Field, Chicago, IL
06-26-92, Soldier Field, Chicago, IL
07-01-92, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH
03-14-93, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
03-17-93, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
03-18-93, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
06-11-93, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH
06-18-93, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
06-21-93, Deer Creek Music Center, Noblesville, IN
06-22-93, Deer Creek Music Center, Noblesville, IN
09-09-93, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
09-10-93, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
03-20-94, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
03-21-94, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
07-29-94, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH
03-17-95, The Spectrum, Philadelphia, PA
06-30-95, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA
07-02-95, Deer Creek Music Center, Noblesville, IN

I saw a few Brokedowns in my time.  Easily one of my favorite encores.  Along with "Box of Rain" and "It's All Over Now Baby Blue."  I always thought Brokedown was the Dead's way of saying... "This was a pretty hot show.  Let's cool off the crowd and send 'em home safely.  Or off to the next gig or whatever."

Please do not share this information with Governor Kathy Hochul (D-NY).

#648. JuJu Smith-Schuster

JuJu tweeted an unusual comment regarding the altercation at Saturday night's preseason game.

 

JuJu Smith-Schuster

@TeamJuJu

She slapped him first lol pops always told me, if he put hands on me first ! I’m on full go mode haha

Then bravely deleted the post.  After someone sat him down, and explained that his tweet advocated for physical violence against women.  Not too savvy for such an experienced Tickin Tocker Rappin Rocker.

 

 

JuJu Smith-Schuster
sonofsaf

His name is JuJu Smith Schuster
So crazy his dancing’s gay
His name is JuJu Smith Schuster
So crazy his dancing’s gay

Peeps and homies at the Heinz Field gonna watch JuJu play

His skin complexion’s dark and he’s droppin’ the ball
Skin complexion’s dark and he’s droppin’ the ball
Look out Pittsburgh Steelers
JuJu Smith-Schuster ran afoul

I'm gonna cry JuJu Smith-Schuster
Please dance alone
I'm gonna cry JuJu Smith-Schuster
Please dance alone

Just don’t take a knee at Heinz Field
God damn JuJu Smith-Schuster’s so wrong

 

Little Red Rooster
Grateful Dead

I am the little red rooster
Too lazy to crow for day
I am the little red rooster
Too lazy to crow for day

Keep everything in the farm yard upset in every way

The dogs begin to bark and hounds begin to howl
Dogs begin to bark and hounds begin to howl
Watch out strange cat people
Little red rooster's on the prowl

If you see my little red rooster
Please drive him home
If you see my little red rooster
Please drive him home

I had no peace in the farm yard
Since my little red rooster's been gone

 

Grateful Dead:

04-08-89, Riverfront Coliseum, Cincinnati, OH
10-22-89, Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, NC
07-08-90, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA
09-07-90, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
09-08-90, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
03-18-91, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
03-20-91, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
03-21-91, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
06-09-91, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH
06-14-91, RFK Stadium, Washington, D.C.
06-21-91, Soldier Field, Chicago, IL
06-24-91, Sandstone Amphitheatre, Bonner Springs, KS
09-04-91, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
09-05-91, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
09-06-91, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
06-06-92, Rich Stadium, Orchard Park, NY
06-08-92, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
06-09-92, Richifeld Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
06-11-92, Knickerbocker Arena, Albany, NY
06-12-92, Knickerbocker Arena, Albany, NY
06-14-92, Giants Stadium, East Rutherford, NJ
06-15-92, Giants Stadium, East Rutherford, NJ
06-17-92, Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, NC
06-18-92, Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, NC
06-20-92, RFK Stadium, Washington, D.C.
06-22-92, Star Lake Amphitheatre, Burgettstown, PA
06-23-92, Star Lake Amphitheatre, Burgettstown, PA
06-25-92, Soldier Field, Chicago, IL
06-26-92, Soldier Field, Chicago, IL
07-01-92, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH
03-14-93, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
03-17-93, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
03-18-93, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
06-11-93, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH
06-18-93, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
06-21-93, Deer Creek Music Center, Noblesville, IN
06-22-93, Deer Creek Music Center, Noblesville, IN
09-09-93, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
09-10-93, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
03-20-94, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
03-21-94, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
07-29-94, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH
03-17-95, The Spectrum, Philadelphia, PA
06-30-95, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA
07-02-95, Deer Creek Music Center, Noblesville, IN

Bob Weir / Dead & Company:

 

Bob Weir, 7-19-91, I.C. Light Amphitheatre, Pittsburgh, PA
Bob Weir, 8-31-92, I.C. Light Amphitheatre, Pittsburgh, PA

Ratdog & Phil Lesh, 7-18-01, Polaris Amphitheater, Columbus, OH
Ratdog & Rusted Root, 8-12-01, Post Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
The Other Ones, 11-29-02, Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, PA
The Dead, Bob Dylan, 8-6-03, Germain Amphitheater, Columbus, OH

Dead & Company, 11-13-15, Nationwide Arena, Columbus, OH *

Dead & Company, 8-13-16, First Niagara Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

Dead & Company, 6-15-17, KeyBank Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
Dead & Company, 6-28-17, Blossom Music Center, Cleveland, OH

Dead & Company, 6-20-18, Blossom Music Center, Cleveland, OH

Dead & Company, 7-5-19, Folsom Field, Boulder, CO

Dead & Company, 7-6-19, Folsom Field, Boulder, CO

Please do not share this material with Pittsburgh Steelers receiver JuJu Smith-Schuster.

#647. Tarrio

During the span of 15 years (1974 -1989), the Pittsburgh Penguins went 0–39–3 at the Spectrum on the other side of Pennsylvania.  That's a 42 game winless streak against the Philadelphia Flyers.  But that entire dynamic quickly changed when the Penguins drafted Mario Lemieux.  All of a sudden, the rivalry became unusually competitive.

But nothing pissed off Pittsburgh Penguins fans more than when Flyer fans used to taunt Mario.  You'd hear the crowd collectively heckling... Mario.  Mario.  Mario.

Transition:  Proud Boys leader Henry "Enrique" Tarrio was just sentenced to 5 months in federal prison for a variety of offenses related to domestic terrorism.

Tough guy drinkin' a White Claw.

So here's my suggestion.  Do you remember the movie Shawshank Redemption?  Specifically when the newest prisoners would arrive?  All of the inmates would chant "fresh fish, fresh fish, fresh fish"... until someone broke down in tears and lost their shit.  Well, I would encourage Tarrio's fellow inmates to chant, "Tarrio, Tarrio, Tarrio"... every time he gets forcibly sodomized.

Tarrio, Tarrio, Tarrio
sonofsaf

Mario, Mario, Mario
Flyers fans

I've had a few run-ins with Mario Lemieux.  Considering the magnitude of his personality and the historic nature of his comeback... I figured that he might be brave enough to relay my concerns about dangerously outdated venue emergency evacuation protocol.  I was incorrect.  I guess being courageous on the ice, and distinguished in an owner's box, and iconic in the realm of sports history... well, it doesn't always translate in the real world.

Please do not share this material with Proud Boys leader Henry "Enrique" Tarrio and/or Penguins owner Mario Lemieux.

#646. Manchin

Having lived in Wheeling most of my life, I've cast a vote for Joe Manchin on multiple occasions.  But when I reflect back on his entire political resume, I'll remember him primarily as a scumbag politician.  Why?  Because he was the Democratic leader who sided with Senate Republicans in blocking the John Lewis voting rights act.

Joe stares intensely into the ring of the Orange Prolapse.

Simply stated, Manchin wants to maintain the status quo in the U.S. Senate.  This is a calculated decision.  It's better for his career if things remain clogged.  And the Dem/Rep split stays as close to 50/50 as possible.  This way, he retains his influence as the voice of reason, a blue leader from a red state.  Major legislation stalls out.  And things stay the same.  Nothing gets done.  The filibuster holds.  

Good for him, bad for democracy.  

That... will be Joe's legacy.

#140.  Manchin On K Street (Dancin' In The Streets --- Grateful Dead)

#220.  Crappiness is a Thing Called Joe (Happiness Is A Thing Called Joe --- Cher)

#455.  Joe's Manchin (Lang's Mansion --- Waylon Jennings)

#624.  Manchin (Fashion --- David Bowie)

#646.  Manchin (Passion --- Rod Stewart)

 

Manchin
sonofsaf

Senators don’t care
‘Bout the extreme far right
Fuckin’ ultra religious
Stunning lack of horse sense

Prolapse lookin’ shitty
Mar-A-Lago's lit litty
Assholes being fisted
How could he be defeated, cheated

He’s a star in the Senate, Manchin
On K Street this ain’t Cali, Manchin
A lot of resenting, Manchin
Everybody perching, Manchin

Jesus Christ a baby in the manger
Muslim fight Allah Akbar danger
Ass is haunted Jared Kushner’s a god damn Jew yeah
Manchin, Manchin
Manchin, Manchin

Wheeling, Moundsville, Manchin
Elm Grove, Oglebay, Manchin
Weirton what the fuck, Manchin
All the sheeple they love, Manchin

Fear him he’s a Senator, Manchin
Frequent masturbator, Manchin
Tiki fuckin’ torches, Manchin
Debatin’ with retards, Manchin

Jesus Christ a baby in the manger
Muslim fight Allah Akbar danger
Ass is haunted Jared Kushner’s a god damn Jew yeah
Jesus Christ a baby in the manger
Muslim fight Allah Akbar danger
Ass is haunted Jared Kushner’s a god damn Jew yeah

West Virginia’s very white, Manchin
Loves guns likes to fight, Manchin
KKK is outta site, Manchin
Senate ain’t right, Manchin

He’s Joe Manchin, he’s Joe Manchin
He’s Joe Manchin, we love Manchin
You need Manchin, we need Manchin
Eat shit with Joe Manchin
Take a shit with Manchin

Even the Orange Prolapse loves Manchin
Everybody he blows loves Joe Manchin
Some voters love the thrill of Manchin
Blue Dog Democrats all love Manchin
Some voters don’t care for Manchin
Yeah Manchin

 

Passion
Rod Stewart

Somebody somewhere
In the heat of the night
Looking pretty dangerous
Running out of patience

Tonight in the city
You won't find any pity
Hearts are being twisted
Another lover cheated, cheated

In the bars and the cafes, passion
In the streets and the alleys, passion
A lot of pretending, passion
Everybody searching, passion

Once in love you're never out of danger
One hot night spent with a stranger
All you wanted was somebody to hold on to yeah
Passion, passion
Passion, passion

New York, Moscow, passion
Hong Kong, Tokyo, passion
Paris and Bangkok, passion
A lotta people ain't got, passion

Hear it in the radio, passion
Read it in the papers, passion
Hear it in the churches, passion
See it in the school yards, passion

Once in love you're never out of danger
One hot night spent with a stranger
All you wanted was somebody to hold on to yeah
Once in love you're never out of danger
One hot night spent with a stranger
All you wanted was somebody to hold on to yeah

Alone in your bed at night, passion
It's half past midnight, passion
As you turn out your sidelight, passion
Something ain't right, passion

There's no passion, there's no passion
There's no passion, i need passion
You need passion, we need passion
Can't live without passion
Won't live without passion

Even the president needs passion
Everybody i know needs some passion
Some people die and kill for passion
Nobody admits they need passion
Some people are scared of passion
Yeah passion

 

Rod Stewart:

8-11-18, PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

Since 1971, Rod Stewart has played Pittsburgh a grand total of 20 times.  We caught his most recent concert, but that's it.  Total Vegas-style production.  Great show.  Something about that unique, raspy voice.  Very difficult to mimic.

Please do not share this material with West Virginia Senator Joe Manchin.

#645. Hi, I'm Darryl...

Darryl Issa (R-CA) took some heat over the weekend when he referred to conservative talk radio host & Republican candidate for Governor Larry Elder’s disparaging comments about women as "entertaining."

Herewith, whenever Issa attends a future Elder campaign event for Governor, I think he should be required to say....

Mark: 2:53 (the first ever Larry, Darryl, Darryl intro)

 

"Hi.  I’m Darryl.  This is my elder Larry.  And this is my other elder Larry."
sonofsaf

"Hi.  I’m Larry.  This is my brother Darryl.  And this is my other brother Darryl."
Newhart writers

 

If you think about it, it's really just a fake news disclaimer of sorts.

Of course, if my "parodyxical" version made any sense, you'd need to have Larry Elder's brother along for the ride.  Not sure if he has a brother.  Not sure if I care.   

Newhart was on during the '80's.  Reflecting back, the material was similar to a 90's version of Frazier.  Clever, witty, etc.  Although I did find Tom Poston a little annoying.  Reminiscent of a Ned Flanders dullard who hails from Vermont.

I met Darryl Issa (R-CA) outside the arena in Cleveland (ironically it used to be known as "The Q"... an abbreviated version Quicken Loans Arena).  Talk about a futuristic marketing fail.  Welcome to the Q.  Anyway, I ran into him at the 2016 Republican National Convention.  So I took the opportunity to quickly voice my concerns about outdated emergency evacuation protocol for large venues in Ohio and California.  In tandem with the potential threat posed by cell phones and wireless communication.  And of course, I handed him one of my handy dandy AGSAF business cards.  He glance at it, thanked me, and stuck it in the front pocket of his dress shirt.  Haven't seen him since.

Please do not share this information with Darryl Issa (R-CA).

#644. Brooks Loves Blood

Trump had one of his big lie rallies in Cullman, Alabama over the weekend.  

Mo Brooks (R-AL) took the opportunity to embrace the Orange Prolapse, raise money, and mingle with the overwhelmingly albino "throng of dongs."

But Mo was unexpectedly greeted with a chorus of boos when he told the crowd... "There are some people who are despondent about the voter fraud and election theft in 2020.  Folks, put that behind you, put that behind you."

"Yes!" Brooks told the suddenly hostile crowd.  "Look forward, look forward, look forward.  Beat them in 2022, beat them in 2024."  The boos continued unabated.

Sensing the crowd was not going to budge, Brooks decided he'd better circle back faster than Jen Psaki. "All right, well, look back at it, but go forward and take advantage of it.  We have got to win in 2022.  We’ve got to win in 2024!"

Look like Mo has come down with a case of "bad messaging."  Brooks is in one helluva pickle (sburgh).  He's unwilling to take any responsibility for his role in the insurrection.  But he still has to embrace the big lie.  The imbecilic notion that Trump won.  Granted, it's a tough one.  Quite the conundrum.

If I was a real journalist in the state of Alabama, I'd ask Brooks if he feels any sense of culpability.  Phrase it like this...  Hey piece of shit assclown, would you be willing to extend an apology to the families of the Capitol Police officers who died, as well as those who were injured, during and after, the attempted coup?

Mark 24:23

 

Brooks Loves Blood
sonofsaf

Voted out I’m an Orange Prolapse queer
A fuckwad and a twat never drank a beer
Consipracy hack and I’m Q-Anon
Flush a turd my dick’s not long
Not long
Play quarterback while my asshole is crumbling
You’ll get biggie sized if you kiss the ring
Neither wise nor kind I will never budge
Flush down my stank ass turds
My turds

Everybody knows Mo Brooks loves blood
Killing Capitol Police is so fucked up
Why the Orange Prolapse rage
If you kiss the ring you will discover
Mar-A-Lago’s his new home
Where he wears a thong

Consipracy hack and I’m Q-Anon
Flush a turd my dick’s not long
Long, not long.

Dead end
No friends
The end
Depends
Depends

 

Book Of Blood
Armored Saint

Voted in I'm just the spokesman here
A robot I'm not I feel the same fears
Pressure on my back and I must respond
Say the word and I'll be gone
I'm gone
I say attack while the world is trembling
Then get criticized cause we felt the sting
An indecisive mind cannot be a judge
Stand by your fighting words
Your words

Everybody is a Book of Blood
Subverting society with a magic touch
Well I refuse to engage
Don't condemn the judgement of another
Cause it differs from your own
You may both be wrong

Pressure on my back and I must respond
Say the word and I'll be gone
Gone, I'm gone

No end
No friend
No end
Defend
God send

Armored Saint:

10-29-88, Bogart's, Cincinnati, OH

Armored Saint never really got the credit they deserved.  Saw 'em open for King Diamond back in 1988.  Midway through their set, a fight broke out on the outer periphery of the pit.  I watched this one dude karate kick another guy in the chest.  The guy went down like a ton of bricks and later died from cardiac arrest.  The other guy just wandered off and likely exited the club.  To this day, I'm virtually certain the crime was never solved.

Mo Brooks:

#218.  Everyday I Fight Mo Brooks (Everyday I Write The Book --- Elvis Costello)

#260.  They Hate Mo (I Don't Know --- Ozzy Osbourne)

#283.  Brooks That Kill (Looks That Kill --- Motley Crue)

#517.  Mo (Low --- Cracker)

#522.  Let It Mo (Let It Go --- Def Leppard)

#523.  Let It Mo (Let It Go --- Frozen Soundtrack)

#529.  Mo Mo Morris Brooks (Row Row Row Your Boat --- unknown)

#637.  Fuck You Mo (Let It Snow --- Frank Sinatra)

#638.  Mo Brooks And His Skin (Blowin' In The Wind --- Bob Dylan)

#644.  Brooks Loves Blood (Book Of Blood --- Armored Saint)

Please do not share this material with Mo Brooks (R-AL).

#643. Stampede

Trump held a rally this weekend in Cullman, Alabama.  The epicenter of the South.  A virtual melting pot of non-vaxxers and redneck crackers.  And oh yeah, that one black dude who always shows up.

Trump took the opportunity to blame Biden for every problem associated with the military withdrawal from Afghanistan.

This Afghanistan Disaster wouldn't have happened with Trump.  The Taliban knew I would rain down fire and fury if any American personnel or interests were harmed, the likes of which have never been seen.  This is a catastrophe of historic proportions.

Well, I'm gonna spin it in the opposite direction and blame everything on the Orange Prolapse.  Particularly, the latest Kabul airport stampede which killed 7 and injured God knows how many.  When I say "God"... well, in this particular case, I'm referring to Allah.  As a matter of fact, let's blame Allah and Trump. 

Stampede
sonofsaf

Kandahar!
Kandahar, has no Jews
And Taliban skills are sold, blood!
Army of boys, having fun,
Equipped with many a gun.

Orange Prolapse is a buffoon
A la carte bloodshed I swear it
You will do what you are told, blood.  Yo, we’ll spill it.
With the might of an orange buffoon.
Don’t know what you got ’til it’s gone,
A  blue Viagra pill turns him on.

You will do what you are told, blood.  Yo, we’ll spill it.
With the might of an orange buffoon.
Big lie, for blood, for blood, big lie.
Kandahar!

 

Candide
Leonard Bernstein

Cunegonde!
Cunegonde, is it true?
Is it you so still and cold, love?
Could our young joys, just begun,
Not outlast the dying sun?

When such brightness dies so soon
Can the heart find strength to bear it?
Shall I ever be consoled, love? No, I swear it
By the light of this lover's moon.
Though I must see tomorrow's dawn,
My heart is gone where you are gone.

Shall I ever be consoled, love? No, I swear it
By the light of this lover's moon.
Good-bye, my love, my love, good-bye.
Cunegonde!

 

The Big Lie 100: (#39)

#390.  Big Lie (Free Ride --- Edgar Winter)

#487.  Donald's Big Lie (Mr. Blue Sky --- E.L.O.)

#495.  American Lie (American Pie --- Don McLean)

#520.  The Big Lie (When Doves Cry --- Prince)

#530.  Big Lie (High Time --- Grateful Dead)

#545.  Big Lie (Goodbye --- Night Ranger)

#548.  Trump World's, Big Lie (Big Girls, Don't Cry --- Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons)  

#549.  All A Big Lie (Live And Let Die --- Paul McCartney)

#550.  Would Trump Lie To You (Would I Lie To You --- Annie Lennox)

#552.  Big Liar (Big Spender --- Shirley Bassey)

 

#553.  Big Lie (Big Me --- Foo Fighters)

#555.  The Big Lie (Let Her Cry --- Hootie And The Blowfish)

#557.  Big Lie (Big Love --- Fleetwood Mac)

#559.  Big Lies (Big Balls --- AC/DC)

#561.  The Big Lie (Aces High --- Iron Maiden)

#562.  Big Lie Trump Overload (Goodbye Yellow Brick Road --- Elton John)

#563.  Byrne's A Bitch (Burn The Witch --- Radiohead)

#564.  As The World Byrnes (As The World Burns --- Kreator)

#565.  Lie (Cry --- Godley and Creme)

#567.  Byrne In Hell (Burn In Hell --- Twisted Sister) 

#571.  He's A Scrotum The Big Lie (I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry --- Hank Williams)

#594.  Lie Lie You Trumpers (Die Die My Darling --- Metallica)

#595.  To Live Is To Lie (To Live Is To Die --- Metallica) 

 

#596.  Don't Lie (Don't Cry --- Guns'n'Roses)

#597.  Big Lie (Big Time --- Peter Gabriel)

#601.  Lies (Lies --- Thompson Twins)

#602.  Liar (Liar --- Three Dog Night)

#606.  Lie Free-For-All (Fly On The Wall --- AC/DC)

#609.  Big Liar (Big River --- Grateful Dead)

#616.  Jeffrey Clark (Rosa Parks --- OutKast)

#626.  So Great At Big Lies (Too Late For Goodbyes --- Julian Lennon)

#627.  Liar (Liar --- Henry Rollins)

#630.  Lie!  Lie! (Why?!  Why?! --- Nancy Kerrigan)

#632.  Fucked Up Lie (Custard Pie --- Led Zeppelin)

#633.  Tommy (Zombie --- The Cranberries)

#636.  Everybody Blows (Justice League Soundtrack --- Sigrid)

#639.  Orange Clown (Small Town --- John Cougar Mellencamp)

#640.  Be Unforgiving And Never Stop Lying (Shawshank Redemption --- Morgan Freeman / Tim Robbins)

#643.  Stampede (Candide --- Leonard Bernstein)

 

When I was a little kid aged 7 or 8, I distinctly remember my father's TDK SA90 cassette tape labeled "Candide."  Probably because the spelling and pronunciation was unusual.  And it closely resembled the word "candied."

As for human stampedes, you know, when people get trampled to death and crush asphyxiated... uh, no comment.  On second thought, regardless of the location(s), the blame for all future human stampedes should be attributed to Donald Trump.

Please do not share this material with former President Donald J. Trump.