Wednesday, December 13, 2023

#2252. The Digital Mugshot Edition

Just when you think GOP political fundraising can't get any worse, the Orange Prolapse launches another barrage of "digital trading cards."

Due to the great Excitement and Success of my previous ORANGE PROLAPSE DIGITAL TRADING CARDS, we’re fucking you again - The CumShot Edition, available RIGHT NOW.  Plus, buy 47 cards and get a piece of the shit I wore for the “Mugshot Photo,” and also get an invite to a McDonald's Dinner with me at Lake Tahoe!  Don’t wait, they taste of ass (You'll receive!).  I’m happy if you’re crappy.  You cunt.  FUCK IVANKA and DRINK BUD LIGHT BEER! 

Gotta admit.  I do like the notion of Trump including a "digital piece of fabric" from the suit he wore during his Fulton County mugshot.  Why do I get the feeling there's a "digital scrap of long red tie" on the event horizon.


The Digital Mugshot Edition

Trump’s a faggot Orange Prolapse queer
And if he drank Bud Light’s his beer
Melania’s BeBest cheer
Yinz wild stormy whore
Trump has lied he’s orange not white
McDonald’s Big Mac he’ll bite
As MAGA discovers their bullshit fight
The Donald is a fuckin’ clown
The digital mugshot edition
Wants to get laid daughter’s cunt he’ll shave
Coup d’etat’s the plan, libtards will frown
The Donald’s gay and the boys are proud
The mushroom bone and syndrome of down is here to stay
Mother fucker, how many he will sell


To Defy The Laws Of Tradition

What if Christmas didn't come this year
And no one paid for Christmas cheer?
Who would cry the biggest tear
The child or the store?
Why do brides wear virgin white?
Most do not deserve that right
But to choose a color of they're delight
Would surely bring on the frowns
To defy the laws of tradition
Is a crusade only of the brave
Suppose the taxman, he comes to town
And you don't lay your money down
Yet Mr. Jones he killed Mr. Brown the other day
Well I wonder, who's gonna go to hell

Such a great song.  Challenging lyrics.  As is pretty much the case with all Primus songs.

For the love of D-G, this is my third parody of To Defy The Laws Of Tradition.

#163.  To Describe The Laws Of Sedition

#1212.  What If Mehmet Oz Commits Treason

#2252.  The Digital Mugshot Edition


Other than the Grateful Dead, if I had to choose one band to seriously follow on tour... I'd probably pick Primus.  Seriously, gimme a better option.  Phish?  

Maybe Pearl Jam.

Billy Strings is at the Peterson Event Center tonight.  Tomorrow night as well. 

Pretty sure we're taking a hard pass on both shows.

From 1990 to the present, Primus has Beavered the Burgh a grand total of 15 times.


7-21-93, Star Lake Amphitheater, Burgettstown, PA (Lollapalooza)

3-14-98, Beaver Dome, Monaca, PA

6-22-99, Star Lake Amphitheater, Burgettstown, PA (Lollapalooza)

5-22-12, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA

4-14-15, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA

7-30-17, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA

11-2-17, Goodyear Theatre, Akron, OH

6-8-18, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA

10-5-21, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA

In other news, Steelers (+2.5) hit the road in Indy this Saturday.

It's an away game.  Not home, asshole.

The Big Lie 100: (#1388)

#2216.  For Trump (Her Strut --- Bob Seger)

#2217.  Mark Green (Green Beans --- Animal Collective)

#2218.  Song For The Trumped (Song For The Dumped --- Ben Folds Five)

#2219.  Trumped (Chumped --- Joyce Manor)

#2220.  Lahmeyer (Desire --- U2)

#2221.  Trumper (Kiss --- Strutter)

#2222.  Prolapse Stain: Forty-Five (Morning Train: Nine To Five --- Sheena Easton)

#2223.  Strong (Wrong --- Lindsey Buckingham)

#2224.  Gilberry (Hail Mary --- Alice Cooper)

#2225.  Perry's Pissed (Cherry Twist --- Crystal Method)

#2226.  Go Musk Yourself (Go Fuck Yourself --- Two Feet)

#2227.  Perry (Cherry - U.F.O.)

#2228.  Strong Is A Clown (Wrong Side Of Town)

#2229.  Trumpy Little Bitch And Cunt (Crazy Little Thing Called Love --- Queen)

#2230.  Gilberry (Hail Mary --- Testament)

#2231.  Christian Ziegler (Sister Christian --- Night Ranger)

#2232.  Forty-Five (9 to 5 --- Dolly Parton)

#2233.  Tesla Sucks (Thunderstruck --- AC/DC)

#2234.  5K (Birthday --- Paul McCartney)

#2235.  Florida State Got Fuckin' Screwed (Overweight But Over You)

#2236.  Kennedy (Ecstasy --- PJ Harvey)

#2237.  Mr. Kevin Cramer (Mr. Entertainer --- Men At Work)

#2238.  Kennedy (Faithfully --- Journey)

#2239.  Strong (Wrong --- Waylon Jennings)

#2240.  DeNiro (My Hero --- Foo Fighters)

#2241.  Swift (Rift --- Phish)

#2242.  Tay Tay Tay (Say Say Say --- Michael Jackson & Paul McCartney)

#2243.  Travis (Krampus --- Houndmouth)

#2244.  Strong's Gay (Wrong Way --- Creed)

#2245.  Hostetter (Shoplifter --- Green Day)

#2246.  Donald Trump Is An Orange Clown (London Bridge Is Falling Down --- Cocomelon)

#2247.  Donald Trump Is A Retard (Twinkle Twinkle Little Star --- Olivia Newton-John)

#2248.  Bland Is A Cunt (Band On The Run --- Paul McCartney)

#2249.  Kennedy (Destiny --- Journey)

#2250.  Dictator (Heartbreaker --- Pat Benatar)

#2251.  Kenneth Paxton (Love Boat Captain)

#2252.  The Digital Mugshot Edition (To Defy The Laws Of Tradition --- Primus)

Please do not share this material with people who purchase Trump digital trading cards and/or former President Donald J. Trump.

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