Thursday, December 28, 2023

#2287. Paxton

Impeached Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton is indeed a vile piece of excrement.  Of that, nobody would dispute.  Including his wife Angela.  And his 4 children.


A fake Christmas card.  All of those smiles were expertly photo-shopped.

Madison, Katie, Abby:

Here's something to think about.  Roughly 1 in 4 women will experience a miscarriage.  I'd like to apologize in advance for your father's misogynistic actions and behavior.  Because when the "Lone Star miscarriage police strike force" knocks on your dorm door and launches a formal investigation... (you know, because you were seen at a sorority party and drank 4 beers when you were unknowingly 2 weeks pregnant), let's hope you don't take it so personally.  Even if you're daddy's little girl.

Dedicated to roughly 15 million women who currently reside in the great state of Texas.



Paxton, fuck yourself and Kristi Noem  



Captain, turn around and take me home


From 1994 to 2018, Ween has played the Burgh a grand total of 11 times.   Never seen... Ween.

Here's a thought.  If I was Taylor Swift, I would announce an outright stadium ban on performing in any state with a 6 week abortion ban.  Why not maximize your economic leverage?  No Texas shows (Dallas, Houston), no Florida shows (Miami, Tampa), etc.

Turn it into a blue state / red state controversy.  A list of the shows, and all of the canceled ones, on the back of your merchandise.  T-shirts, hoodies, etc.  Here's how to explain it: 

I am a staunch advocate for my fans.  Most of whom are women.  Until my next tour, I'm imposing an act of "Swiftie Prohibition."  A total ban on concerts at any NFL stadiums in red states with 6-week abortion bans.  Hopefully, the next couple of years will give these states and their leadership an opportunity to fix the problem they've created.  Whether it be through statewide referendums like the recent one in Ohio or at the ballot box (vote those pieces of shit the fuck out of office). 

I would encourage other progressive major touring acts to follow suit.  Pearl Jam, Beyonce, etc.  Pro-life absolutists in Congress need to mentally comprehend how their aggressively backwards policies on women's healthcare... come at a cost.

And oh yeah, I almost forgot.  I hold the Orange Prolapse who created this mess entirely responsible.  


I will never go on tour or release new music during any future Trump presidency.

Taylor Swift probably wouldn't use my precise phrasing.  But I think you git the gist.

The Big Lie 100: (#1423)

#2216.  For Trump (Her Strut --- Bob Seger)

#2217.  Mark Green (Green Beans --- Animal Collective)

#2218.  Song For The Trumped (Song For The Dumped --- Ben Folds Five)

#2219.  Trumped (Chumped --- Joyce Manor)

#2220.  Lahmeyer (Desire --- U2)

#2221.  Trumper (Kiss --- Strutter)

#2222.  Prolapse Stain: Forty-Five (Morning Train: Nine To Five --- Sheena Easton)

#2223.  Strong (Wrong --- Lindsey Buckingham)

#2224.  Gilberry (Hail Mary --- Alice Cooper)

#2225.  Perry's Pissed (Cherry Twist --- Crystal Method)

#2226.  Go Musk Yourself (Go Fuck Yourself --- Two Feet)

#2227.  Perry (Cherry - U.F.O.)

#2228.  Strong Is A Clown (Wrong Side Of Town)

#2229.  Trumpy Little Bitch And Cunt (Crazy Little Thing Called Love --- Queen)

#2230.  Gilberry (Hail Mary --- Testament)

#2231.  Christian Ziegler (Sister Christian --- Night Ranger)

#2232.  Forty-Five (9 to 5 --- Dolly Parton)

#2233.  Tesla Sucks (Thunderstruck --- AC/DC)

#2234.  5K (Birthday --- Paul McCartney)

#2235.  Florida State Got Fuckin' Screwed (Overweight But Over You)

#2236.  Kennedy (Ecstasy --- PJ Harvey)

#2237.  Mr. Kevin Cramer (Mr. Entertainer --- Men At Work)

#2238.  Kennedy (Faithfully --- Journey)

#2239.  Strong (Wrong --- Waylon Jennings)

#2240.  DeNiro (My Hero --- Foo Fighters)

#2241.  Swift (Rift --- Phish)

#2242.  Tay Tay Tay (Say Say Say --- Michael Jackson & Paul McCartney)

#2243.  Travis (Krampus --- Houndmouth)

#2244.  Strong's Gay (Wrong Way --- Creed)

#2245.  Hostetter (Shoplifter --- Green Day)

#2246.  Donald Trump Is An Orange Clown (London Bridge Is Falling Down --- Cocomelon)

#2247.  Donald Trump Is A Retard (Twinkle Twinkle Little Star --- Olivia Newton-John)

#2248.  Bland Is A Cunt (Band On The Run --- Paul McCartney)

#2249.  Kennedy (Destiny --- Journey)

#2250.  Dictator (Heartbreaker --- Pat Benatar)

#2251.  Kenneth Paxton (Love Boat Captain)

#2252.  The Digital Mugshot Edition (To Defy The Laws Of Tradition --- Primus)

#2253.  Trump Tower (Sunflower --- Neil Diamond)

#2254.  Kid Rock Will Dine (I Walk The Line --- Johnny Cash)

#2255.  Playin' The Browns (Send In The Clowns --- Barbara Streisand)

#2256.  Foxmania (Albania --- Nicholas Colasanto / Cheers Episode)

#2257.  Guy Reschenthaler (Dollar For Dollar --- They Might Be Giants)

#2258.  Reschenthaler (Dollar, Dollar --- PJ Harvey)

#2259.  Kid's Cock (We Rock --- Dio)

#2260.  Reschenthaler (Greenback Dollar --- Woody Guthrie)

#2261.  It's Hunter's Laptop From Hell (I Think I'm Going To Hell --- My Morning Jacket)

#2262.  Laptop Hell (Silver Bells --- Dean Martin)

#2263.  Good!  (Would? --- Alice In Chains)

#2264.  The Tower Of Trump (The Power Of Love --- Huey Lewis & The News)

#2265.  Good Times (Good Times --- Jim Gilstrap, Blinky Williams and a gospel choir)

#2266.  Laptop From Hell (Highway To Hell --- AC/DC)

#2267.  Colby Covington (You Are Number One --- The Whispers)

#2268.  If Bob Good (If I Could --- Phish)

#2269.  Moreno (Tornado --- Garbage)

#2270.  Cum Coney Barrett (Come Holy Spirit --- Planetshakers)

#2271.  Coney Barrett Cum (Holy Spirit Come --- Hillsong UNITED)

#2272.  Coney Barrett Cum (Holy Spirit Come --- Rita Springer)

#2273.  Coney Barrett (Holy Spirit --- Travis Cottrell)

#2274.  Coney Barrett (Holy Spirit --- Neville Brothers)

#2275.  Kushner's Wife Is A Fucking Jew (All I Want For Christmas Is You --- Mariah Carey)

#2276.  Colorado (Desperado --- The Eagles)

#2277.  Detroit Pistons (Sister Christian --- Night Ranger)

#2278.  Isn't Very White (Couldn't Get It Right --- Climax Blues Band)

#2279.  Rudolph, the Yinzer Steeler (Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer)

#2280.  Big Mac Meat (Shakedown Street --- Grateful Dead)

#2281.  Strong's Gay (Wrong Way --- Sublime)

#2282.  Coney Barrett Cum (Holy Spirit Come --- Nathaniel Bassey)

#2283.  Coney Barrett (Holy Spirit --- Jesus Culture)

#2284.  Robert M. Schneider (I Know You Rider --- Grateful Dead)

#2285.  Rob Schneider (Low Rider --- War)

#2286.  Hunter's Laptop (Hunter's Laptop --- Ariel Pink, Winston Marshall, Alex Trimble)

#2287.  Paxton (Captain --- Ween)

Please do not share this material with Ken Paxton and/or former President Donald J. Trump.

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