Tuesday, September 21, 2021

#706. Shma-Shmortion

If I was a pro-choice Democratic strategist taking aim at the absurdly draconian, newly enacted abortion law in the state of Texas, here's what I would do.  

First, let's face the crux of the issue.  Regardless of your feelings about abortion, the notion that anyone, anywhere in the country instantly has the legal standing to sue anyone in the state of Texas who "assists" a woman with obtaining an abortion...  well, that's beyond the brink of insanity.  And who proposed the rape and incest clause exemptions?  And who the fuck came up with the arbitrary amount of 10K?  In the name of Mitt Romney!  

But hey, that's Governor Greg Abbott and his merry band of politicians.  Everybody smile!

Anyone see a similarity here?  Oh wait a second.  There's that one black woman in the lower right corner.  Kinda surprised they didn't get her to sit on Abbott's "wheelchair lap."  Front and center.  You know, gotta support the team

So the media has already exposed the Uber/Lyft angle of corporate management pledging to stand behind their drivers and cover any hypothetical legal bills for "helping" a woman with her celebratory journey to an abortion clinic.   Well I say, if Abbott and the Republicans want it... let them have it.  Let's elevate this concept and turn it all into a contentious litmus test.

Okay.  Texas has a ton of major international airports.  Houston, Dallas/Ft. Worth, San Antonio, El Paso, fuckin' Lubbock, whatever.  Find a veteran "Sully-like" airplane pilot who routinely flies into one of the hubs.  And have him make the following statement on live television... "In compliance with the newly enacted, Republican-inspired state law... before boarding my airplane, it will be necessary to provide a negative pregnancy test for ALL female passengers over the age of 13.  For those aged 11-13, I'd be willing to reluctantly accept a verbal statement that they have not yet started their menstrual cycle.  I don't wish to make my female passengers uncomfortable, but the Republican designated law is paramount."

It's all born out of the liability and culpability... that a female passenger might be pregnant and could hypothetically be seeking an out-of-state abortion.

Considering the current climate of "air rage" and "mask resistance"... call me crazy, but I seriously doubt this would go over well with the general population of reasonable human beings.  

If asked about it, simply reply, "Well, I'm just trying to do my job and uphold the law. What would you suggest I do?  Hey, state and regional elections have consequences.  Uh, this is what usually happens when you elect right wing lunatics who are unfit to hold office.  There's a good chance they'll try to implement extremist legislation."



Jonah Hill (from the movie Knocked Up)

Herewith, when referencing the current Texas Governor Greg Abbott, I would humbly ask reporters to refer to him as "Shmeg "Shma-Shmortion" Shabbott."  The Shmegma Variant!

Loved Knocked Up.  Kinda fizzled near the end.  But all things considered, that was some funny shit.

Please do not share this material with Governor Greg Abbott (R-TX) and/or any Republican politicians throughout the "late" state of Texas.  Period.

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